https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 08 Apr 2026 10:34:28 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/options-for-adopting#post-1973596 Sat, 06 Dec 2014 13:03:39 +0000 Dandelion 1973596@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We want to adopt. But we have decided to wait a few years and adopt an older child that's younger than M. Birth order is important for us. I know that older kids usually have behavioral issues or special needs but that isn't always the case. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/options-for-adopting#post-1973579 Sat, 06 Dec 2014 12:24:11 +0000 loveletter 1973579@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ShootingStar: Hi! We did a private domestic adoption for our first, and it was pretty expensive and we can't afford to do it again, so we are going the foster-to-adopt route for #2. We just got our license and we will be fostering infants, with the hopes of adopting one of our placements (if the opportunity arises). We have had several friends be able to adopt their foster placements (babies) after fostering them for a year or two, so we're hopeful that opportunity will arise for us. If I can answer any questions about fostering, let me know! :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/options-for-adopting#post-1971165 Thu, 04 Dec 2014 15:49:14 +0000 tlynne 1971165@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We did a lot of research for adopting #1, and are in the process of adopting #2 (and possibly #3). #1 son was adopted internationally (from Korea) and the process WAS expensive (about 30k, including travel)...but well worth it. For #2/#3 child (we requested a sibling group of 2), we have decided to foster-adopt through our state. There are actually agencies that will help you become foster parents for your state and IF your foster children become available for adoption, they will facilitate an adoption for free. We are currently using the Methodist Children's Home as a foster agency. Foster/adopt was our best choice this time around partially because of cost, but also because of the travel time and because the hubs &amp; I WOH. The Children's Home, however, will not place us with any children older than my #1 son...and he's 3. I would also be happy to talk to you about other details privately. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/options-for-adopting#post-1971157 Thu, 04 Dec 2014 15:41:02 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 1971157@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Don't discount domestic infant adoption. There are ways to do it quite affordably. See my post on cost and value in adoption. Also if you go completely private without an agency, costs can be incredibly low, though risks are higher.</p> <p>I'm happy to chat with you about this more and talk numbers privately. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/options-for-adopting#post-1971134 Thu, 04 Dec 2014 15:22:43 +0000 hotchildinthecity 1971134@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We did a lot of research prior to our adoption. International adoption is definitely a crazy and unpredictable process and I took my maternity leave with two weeks notice. And yes, it is extremely expensive....we're about $40k in for our son's adoption.</p> <p>I've always thought we'd go through foster care adoption, but with kids that are already legally free for adoption (I have browsed on adoptuskids and a nyc-specific website). But I haven't done extensive research on it. And yes, the kids are older and many have special needs.</p> <p>You do have a lot of parameters that may make adoption a difficult route for you. But others may be able to speak to infant domestic adoption. We didn't want to go that route due to uncertainty/chance of birthmom back out. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/options-for-adopting#post-1971105 Thu, 04 Dec 2014 15:05:28 +0000 ShootingStar 1971105@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH and I are at the point where we are considering options for adding a second child to our family. We currently have a son who's 1. I'm not sure that I want to go the biological route for #2 - I will only be able to get pregnant with the help of an RE (thanks to PCOS), and I had a tough time with pregnancy last time. I had GD, pregnancy induced hypertension, came close to having pre-eclampsia (kept having to do the stupid urine catch), had Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction, and at was on bed rest the last couple weeks of pregnancy.</p> <p>Part of me would love to adopt a child, but I'm not sure what type of adoption would fit us. For one thing we just bought a new house over the summer and poured most of our liquid assets into the down payment, we don't have $20k-$30k to spend on domestic infant or international adoption. We would consider foster to adopt, but everything I read about it is so intimidating.</p> <p>I fear that we're not equipped to deal with a special needs child. A lot of the waiting kids also have descriptions that say best with "experienced parents" or best as the the youngest or only child, which obviously doesn't work. And then there's the whole daycare issue. We both WOH full time and our son goes to daycare. If we adopt a daycare age child there may be difficulty getting our daycare to find a spot. It's also difficult with work to suddenly have a placement and take 3 months off with no notice. </p> <p>The other consideration we have is age. I'd really like for my kids to be close in age. If I could have another child exactly D's age, I would. But either way I'd like them to only be 2-3 years apart. As time goes on, this number becomes a moving target. </p> <p>So anyways, I'm kind of lost and feeling overwhelmed in terms of what are our options are. Maybe we don't have any because we're too picky? Does anyone with more experience or knowledge in this area have any thoughts for me? </p>