https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 24 Apr 2026 19:56:58 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/parental-preference-and-it-is-becoming-a-real-problem-lately#post-2227884 Mon, 06 Jul 2015 14:47:55 +0000 catomd00 2227884@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@irene: I obviously don't know your situation, but I'll be frank with you. I don't think your son is going to grow out of it without spending adequate time with your husband. My dad didn't spend a lot of time with us growing up because he owned a business and worked a lot. He didn't do much alone with is when he was home. We all had strong mommy preferences and we're not as close with our dad until adulthood when we both made a concerted effort to be. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/parental-preference-and-it-is-becoming-a-real-problem-lately#post-2227838 Mon, 06 Jul 2015 14:12:14 +0000 Ajsmommy 2227838@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We are in this really deep! My DD strongly prefers me. I feel so bad for DH and I don't know what to do or how to make it better. If she treated me the way she treats DH I'd be a mess. I agree that it might help for DH to take her one on one and do something fun, I might suggest a daddy daughter date... :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/parental-preference-and-it-is-becoming-a-real-problem-lately#post-2227651 Mon, 06 Jul 2015 11:35:15 +0000 looch 2227651@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@irene: So, this weekend, my husband and son were having some time together and they got into a disagreement. The subject isn't important ( i have forgotten, lol), but my son came upstairs and told me that he didn't like his dad anymore and that he didn't love him. Ten minutes later, they were outside and I saw my son put his arm around his father.</p> <p>I try not to put too much stock into the words and focus instead on the actions. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/parental-preference-and-it-is-becoming-a-real-problem-lately#post-2227644 Mon, 06 Jul 2015 11:31:30 +0000 Truth Bombs 2227644@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would also go out of your way to be really loving/nice to your husband around your son. I think that seeing the preferred parent show affection towards the not preferred parent helps the child to have positive associations towards both of you. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/parental-preference-and-it-is-becoming-a-real-problem-lately#post-2227597 Mon, 06 Jul 2015 10:57:53 +0000 irene 2227597@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@lemondrop: @hotchildinthecity: @mrbee: @catomd00: Thanks guys! I wish there were ways that can curb this behavior without the requirement of having daddy put him to bed or spend a day out....etc. because it is just not very feasible in our situation :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/parental-preference-and-it-is-becoming-a-real-problem-lately#post-2227485 Mon, 06 Jul 2015 09:26:51 +0000 catomd00 2227485@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Can they go on a fun, daddy-son weekend away to bond? My husband has been home with my daughter the past month and even after just a few days, they were total BFFs. My husband was taking her to fun activities that I had neeber done with her before. (daughter is 16 months and super in the throes of separation anxiety and mommy preference.) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/parental-preference-and-it-is-becoming-a-real-problem-lately#post-2227395 Mon, 06 Jul 2015 08:21:48 +0000 mrbee 2227395@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We've tried a lot of cures for parental preference, but the most effective was just to have the less preferred parent take the child out of the house! A few days or weeks of that works wonders... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/parental-preference-and-it-is-becoming-a-real-problem-lately#post-2227380 Mon, 06 Jul 2015 08:00:30 +0000 hotchildinthecity 2227380@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@lemondrop: agree with both suggestions. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/parental-preference-and-it-is-becoming-a-real-problem-lately#post-2227285 Sun, 05 Jul 2015 23:53:20 +0000 lemondrop 2227285@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>One thing that's helped us is trading off nights for the bedtime routine. My oldest still has the mommy preference at bedtime, but some nights I work and he doesn't get to choose since I'm not there. It's really helped him and my husband get closer, and gives me a break. </p> <p>Another thing we've been doing is taking each kid out for a special "date" with each parent. We trade off and go do something fun. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/parental-preference-and-it-is-becoming-a-real-problem-lately#post-2227252 Sun, 05 Jul 2015 22:00:46 +0000 irene 2227252@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@BabyBoecksMom: Thanks! The thing is, DH didn't want to show that he was hurt by this, and he always pretends he didn't care. I only overheard that he asked LO "what did I do wrong" when he thought I wasn't going to be around! I just wish there was a way that I can instill in DS that daddy is equally OK too :( But I will keep that in my back pocket and explain to DH when I see fit. Thanks ... :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/parental-preference-and-it-is-becoming-a-real-problem-lately#post-2227235 Sun, 05 Jul 2015 21:34:45 +0000 BabyBoecksMom 2227235@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I can speak for the other side of that (your DH). My oldest is the same age of your daughter. It really hurts to have my daughter tell me "no! I want Daddy" or act in the same way as you described. I have also asked my daughter what I've done wrong... </p> <p>But, I has an old friend explain something that has really helped me, and I hope it will help your husband. He told me that it's not that your child doesn't like him, it's that he is just so happy with you that he doesn't want anyone getting between you and him. Kids don't know that it hurts their feelings. So the best thing for your husband is to know that your son loves him, but he needs him to be a supporter instead of trying to get him to pick between the two of you. </p> <p>It's really helped me to have a better relationship with my daughter. It's definitely not how I pictured parenthood but it is what makes more peace for our family. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/parental-preference-and-it-is-becoming-a-real-problem-lately#post-2227230 Sun, 05 Jul 2015 21:20:13 +0000 irene 2227230@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DS is 3.5 years old. He has always has a preference for mommy (me) since maybe when he was 1, or younger. It has grown to become a pretty big problem now. </p> <p>If we were in a car and DH talks to him, or just says his name, DS would start whining and cry "Mommy....!" and wouldn't respond to his dad.Or, if DS asked a question and DH answered him, he also would whine and cry "mommy...!" This, together with many other things. I can see it bothering DH, as he started asking DS what did he do wrong, hahahahha! It just cracked me up that a 40 year old man seriously asked a 3.5 year old what did he do wrong to deserve this. I feel bad for him but I don't know what I could do.</p> <p>I usually would correct DS, and said he needs to be nice to daddy, and it is OK for both of us to respond to him. He said yes but he still whines especially when he is in a bad mood. When we asked him, his reasoning toward why he wasn't nice to daddy was because, daddy always say potty words (well, I have to say, DH really made a big effort to reduce "potty words usage" in front of DS, but DS is being unreasonable too, sometimes he would complain to me that DH said "dude" and that's a potty word. I mean seriously?), amongst other things.</p> <p>It is not like I spoil him either. I am always very strict with him and I yell at him a lot of times. If there were a good cop bad cop scenario, I am always the bad cop. But I have to say that since birth, I am always the sole caregiver. DH never gives him a bath or puts him to bed. But DH also plays with him when he can. I understand that DS prefers me naturally, but sometimes the way he does it hurts his daddy's feelings.</p> <p>Is this a phase? Does this happen to any of you? Any solution and advice? When do they grow out of it? Thanks a bunch! </p>