https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 06 Apr 2026 17:21:31 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/park-behavior#post-2557236 Thu, 26 May 2016 13:50:38 +0000 2PeasinaPod 2557236@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MamaG: So funny...I feel like outside of the situation, looking in, I would have told you to mention something to the mom. But then I thought about what I would do, standing there, fuming, and I wouldn't have been able to do it. I would have left too. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/park-behavior#post-2557216 Thu, 26 May 2016 13:37:23 +0000 MamaG 2557216@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@2PeasinaPod: While in the moment I was fuming for my daughter, I don't think I would have approached the other mom either. If she hadn't approached me we would most likely have left the park shortly after. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/park-behavior#post-2557121 Thu, 26 May 2016 12:48:45 +0000 2PeasinaPod 2557121@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think both of you handled the situation in the best way possible. The hard part is explaining to your daughter why he did what he did. It sounds as if she has her challenges with him, and while your daughter was the brunt of his challenges, she did her best to help rectify the situation by coming over, asking what he had done and attempting to make her non-verbal son apologize to your daughter. </p> <p>I'm impressed that you both handled it so perfectly. I would have done the same in the situation, and had the mom not come over, I probably would have let it go and just told LO not to play near the little boy. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/park-behavior#post-2557062 Thu, 26 May 2016 12:15:49 +0000 Cherrybee 2557062@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so, so sorry this happened to your girl. It must have been so hard to see her so upset - and bewildered - by what happened; you want to protect them from getting hurt. </p> <p>E (almost 3) was at soft play with my friend's son (3.5) yesterday. He pushed her and so she hit him so hard he cried.... then he pushed her harder, she fell on her face and her teeth cut into her lip. There was blood everywhere. It was awful. Its completely horrible and utterly unacceptable but not unusual for the age, verbal or not. </p> <p>I'm impressed by the way the mum handled it, specifically asking you if he had hit and addressing the behavior with him. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/park-behavior#post-2556945 Thu, 26 May 2016 10:55:34 +0000 edelweiss 2556945@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>oh i'm so sorry that happened. that must have been somewhat traumatic for your daughter. i think you handled it very well. ideally the other mom could keep an eye out 24/7, but we know that's not realistic and i'm guessing that this was just one of those times that she wasn't there. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/park-behavior#post-2556922 Thu, 26 May 2016 10:37:59 +0000 Mrs. Twine 2556922@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>As the mom of a child on the spectrum (who sometimes exhibits challenging behavior), I really appreciate it when parents talk to me and make an effort to resolve issues if any come up. Ellie really enjoys spending time with other kids. Often, it goes really smoothly. She's able to find someone who is happy to play with her and she is successful with interacting socially. Sometimes she might get nervous and start tickling someone and not clue in that they don't like it. When we're out, it's almost always just me and the two girls. Ellie would technically qualify for a behavioral aide, but there are no people in our area with that training or designation. I definitely get that having your child get hit or having an uncomfortable situation occur in a public place is hard to navigate when your child was making good choices and another child didn't (or in this case maybe wasn't able to), but being willing to talk it through is something that I really appreciate as a special needs mom. It's far more common for other parents to act irritated or disgusted and just walk away, often saying negative things about Ellie loud enough for her to hear while they do it. When things happen they can't be undone, but I do believe that there can be a positive outcome for everyone if it is dealt with proactively. I know Ellie learns a great deal and benefits greatly when people allow her mistakes to be things she can learn from and not just things to feel embarrassed about. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/park-behavior#post-2556816 Thu, 26 May 2016 08:41:36 +0000 JenGirl 2556816@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it was well handled by everyone. I actually used to work as a community habituation trainer which is a fancy term for someone who works with kids with disabilities to teach them how to live in and interact with their community. No clue what's going on with this specific kid, but many kids with special needs have to really work to figure out how to interact with people socially. So it's important for them to get out into the community. Sometimes you hit bumps in the road where the kid or someone else gets hurt. You try to minimize that and apologize when it does, but sometimes it's unavoidable. It sounds like the mom got there quickly, so she was supervising. I'm sorry your girl was hurt, but while getting slapped in the face isn't fun, I bet she was feeling better pretty quickly. And I agree with others that you are just honest with your daughter that while this little boy looks her age, he hasn't learned some of the things she has learned like speaking and how to play well with others but that he's working on learning these things. So, it's totally understandable that you are upset your daughter got hit, but cut the mom and her kid some slack. Besides not going to the playground or having mom physically climbing the structure right beside him, I don't know how it could have been avoided. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/park-behavior#post-2556787 Thu, 26 May 2016 08:19:44 +0000 T.H.O.U. 2556787@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes there is a big difference between age 1 and 3, but if this child was 3 but more developmentally along the lines mentally of a 2 year old (possibly on top of the communication delays) thats still pretty "normal" behavior. </p> <p>I think its great that the mom owned up to it and tried to get the apology. </p> <p>I think maybe it also could be a teaching lesson for your daughter along the lines of he wasn't trying to be mean, he just has a hard time understanding. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/park-behavior#post-2556783 Thu, 26 May 2016 08:16:43 +0000 Ajsmommy 2556783@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so sorry this happened!! and I would have been shocked if it had been me. However I think you handled it well and the other mom was there to explain the situation. Unfortunately, I think that our kids are going to have to face some of these things as they grow up.... some altercations are normal (although the face slapping is kinda woah...). Yesterday we were at the park and there was a little girl there who appeared to be similar in age to DD (2.5/3 yo) but appeared to have a different 1st language than DD and she was very aggressive and yelling loudly but not understandably. She approached DD and yelled really loudly in her face. DD was scared and immediately ran away and started to tear up. The mother felt terrible I know and tried to keep her daughter away from DD but DD kept saying that the other little girl yelled at her and she didn't know why. I tried to say she was just saying hi and that she was loud,I don't think she wasn't being mean or trying to hurt DD.... but idk if that's what I should have said or not. I feel like DD is going to have to deal with this stuff on her own eventually so I don't want her to run and cry. But you can't really teach a 2.5 yo how to ignore and keep on movin. Or to say "woah, you're really loud and don't need to yell in my face please." </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/park-behavior#post-2556781 Thu, 26 May 2016 08:16:16 +0000 mediagirl 2556781@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh wow. That's such a rough situation to be in. I'm glad the mom apologized and explained what's going on with her son. I'm sure she feels terrible. And if she has 2 other kids, I can only imagine how frazzled she must have been trying to keep track of all of them. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/park-behavior#post-2556780 Thu, 26 May 2016 08:15:12 +0000 Mrs. Lion 2556780@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MamaG: There is a very broad spectrum of normal for children who are 3 years old, especially if we are talking about a child who has developmental delays. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/park-behavior#post-2556768 Thu, 26 May 2016 08:07:04 +0000 MamaG 2556768@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Anagram: there's also a pretty big difference between 1 and 3. I don't think it's normal behavior at 3 to slap someone in the face for asking you to move. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/park-behavior#post-2556758 Thu, 26 May 2016 08:01:10 +0000 snowjewelz 2556758@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am so sorry this happened to C! I would've been furious too; it's a natural reaction! I feel like there's really nothing more to get out of the situation. She did come over and apologize (tho did try to excuse him). I feel like she should have kept a closer eye on him knowing he has issues, but what's done is done and at least she was sorry! It def could've turned out worse. But still, it sucks to see your child hurt :sad: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/park-behavior#post-2556740 Thu, 26 May 2016 07:19:15 +0000 Modern Daisy 2556740@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The way I see these situations is that the shoe could easily be on the other foot so its best to have empathy instead of being mad or annoyed and use the situation as a learning experience for your daughter. If you had said the mom was Mia and you had to track her down that would be different but she was clearly aware and involved. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/park-behavior#post-2556736 Thu, 26 May 2016 07:02:04 +0000 Anagram 2556736@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Lion: yeah, I agree. My daughter has no developmental delays, and once at another kid's birthday party, she inexplicably walked up to another kid and slapped her in the face! She had never done it before and has never done it since (they were all about 1.).</p> <p>I apologized profusely, but sometimes these things happen. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/park-behavior#post-2556733 Thu, 26 May 2016 06:55:51 +0000 Mrs. Lion 2556733@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think its a little extreme to call this "violence". Toddlers bite, hit, push, etc, and its developmentally appropriate to do so. Should this mom, in a perfect world, shadow her child 100% of the time? Maybe. Is that possible? Of course not. I think its easy to judge from the outside but it sounds like the mom is doing her best with a kid who has challenges. Im not saying the behavior is okay but we all know that despite our best efforts sometimes things slip through. I guess I just choose to give people the benefit of the doubt in these type of situations, especially because she was still close by and handled it the best she could after the fact. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/park-behavior#post-2556725 Thu, 26 May 2016 06:41:36 +0000 MamaG 2556725@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@honeybear: the mom did say to me that since he's non verbal he uses his hands. She didn't specifically say aggressively. I asked at that point if he uses sign language to communicate. At that point she said no, and that she's trying to teach him not to hit others. So I do think it's a trend. We've never seen this family before. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/park-behavior#post-2556719 Thu, 26 May 2016 06:19:07 +0000 honeybear 2556719@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I might have missed it, but did the mother say that he has a tendency towards physical aggression as a result of being non-verbal, or is this just being assumed? If it's the latter, I don't think this is necessarily a fair assumption. I'd take the mom at face value unless you have other reasons not to (a reason might be that you've observed this child before and he does this regularly). </p> <p>I think what @Alba4: said here is absolutely right: "It's not about families having "different rules", but more like he is still learning the rules." I try to approach all children this way. Every kid is still figuring the world/themselves out. I realize that some of them need a bigger helping hand from adults than others, but the fact is that even the most mature (in terms of emotional development, not age or size) child has very little perspective and experience, and all of them will make mistakes. </p> <p>That said, you have my sympathies too, because my LO has encountered other children who were just straight-up nasty to him in physical ways for reasons that had nothing to do with him other than that he was there and they were feeling frustrated. It is horrible in the moment. I think you handled it well, although I guess I would have told my LO that the little boy has difficulty communicating and is still learning not to hit when he is unhappy about something. Also, I would not feel bad about being upset or about wanting to leave. It's okay to leave! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/park-behavior#post-2556657 Wed, 25 May 2016 21:27:05 +0000 Truth Bombs 2556657@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>While I feel awful that this family must face a heap of challenges, if the mom wasn't shocked that her son hit another child three times in the face, she needs to not put him in situations where that can happen. That is pretty extreme violence for a 3 year old, and from my interpretation of her response, seems to not be wildly outside the norm for her son. I would not be comfortable putting my child in a situation where he might exhibit that kind of violence. If he becomes that aggressive, it's not good for those around him, or for the child himself. No, they shouldn't have to stay in the house all day. But maybe a park with open space where he and his siblings can run around and play with toys, but not have to share equipment/interact with strangers.</p> <p>ETA: it's obviously not your place to tell her what to do with her kids. But if I were you, I would be very upset that the other mother created a situation where this was a possibility, and I don't think you need to feel guilty if you're angry or upset. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/park-behavior#post-2556656 Wed, 25 May 2016 21:26:46 +0000 Anagram 2556656@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My daughter was once head butted with full force at the playground by an older boy for no reason. This is a boy we see almost every week ay the park with his grandmother, bit we dont know them.</p> <p>My daughter was literally screaming, but the grandmother was super apologetic, and honestly, it happened so fast there was no way either of us could have stopped him. I just told her...it happens. And now we kind of steer clear of him, haha</p> <p>I feel like this kind of thing comes with the territory occasionally. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/park-behavior#post-2556613 Wed, 25 May 2016 19:18:42 +0000 SugarplumsMom 2556613@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh man, that's a tough one! I think you managed the situation so well. I honestly don't know what I would do. I've never seen that type of aggression and wouldn't expect it. The country we live in seem to really like their personal space and kids don't even touch each other here, so it would really catch me and LO off guard. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/park-behavior#post-2556611 Wed, 25 May 2016 19:09:46 +0000 catomd00 2556611@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think everyone handled it I the most appropriate way possible. He's 3 with special needs...I'm not really sure what else could have been done other than maybe the mom keeping a closer eye on her child to intervene earlier. But, it sounds like it happened so fast nothing would have prevented it. I'm sure the mom is doing the best she can. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/park-behavior#post-2556606 Wed, 25 May 2016 18:57:23 +0000 pwnstar 2556606@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MamaG: That's awful. I'm so sorry that happened! </p> <p>@Eko: I agree. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/park-behavior#post-2556602 Wed, 25 May 2016 18:51:37 +0000 MamaG 2556602@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I really did try to put myself in that Mom's shoes in the moment, and I'm certain her life is hard without a doubt. I agree she and her kids shouldn't be confined to their home. I did try to engage her in the conversation about her son without being judgmental or intrusive. She shared he had been approved for a program, and I did tell her that I hoped they would find it helpful and told her I wasn't familiar with the program. Trying to offer her the ability to educate me if she wanted to. She didn't offer any additional information and that was okay too.</p> <p>It was hard to explain to my girl because he was of a size/ability that he should have known better and didn't. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/park-behavior#post-2556589 Wed, 25 May 2016 18:27:06 +0000 Alba4 2556589@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>When I hear stories like this my heart goes out to that family. Sounds like he has some real challenges. I hope you aren't mad. I know it's hard to see your kid get hurt, but I'm sure that mom deals with that EVERY day. I'm a teacher and the parents of non-verbal special needs kids have it tough! I would explain that some kids can't talk and don't know how to act at the park. It's not about families having "different rules", but more like he is still learning the rules. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/park-behavior#post-2556570 Wed, 25 May 2016 18:01:12 +0000 maddyz 2556570@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is a bit different, but... I am struggling right now with my large 15 month old who often hits. It's age appropriate but people often think that he is older and because he is so big he can hurt other kids. He gets very upset when he realizes that they are hurt. it's a bumpy road as kids learn to interact and whats ok. I am often the one with the hitter on the play ground. It sucks. But the way he will learn is to see his actions hurt others. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/park-behavior#post-2556554 Wed, 25 May 2016 17:34:12 +0000 PawPrints 2556554@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm sure that was incredibly upsetting. But the other mom probably feels awful, and not just this one time but all the time, if the special needs son is prone to this kind of behavior. She can't just keep him at home, you know? I haven't had this happen but I hope I would try to have sympathy. &lt;3 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/park-behavior#post-2556551 Wed, 25 May 2016 17:28:06 +0000 Eko 2556551@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yikes! I can have empathy for their family having a special needs child, but doesn't make the behavior acceptable. I would imagine that if that is how your LO communicates then they shouldn't be left alone. That seems pretty aggressive. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/park-behavior#post-2556549 Wed, 25 May 2016 17:24:58 +0000 MamaG 2556549@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>LO got out of school early today (as did everyone else in our school district). We went to the park and I was actually surprised it wasn't full of littles. My girl (4) was on a climbing structure that has several levels/platforms and slides. She was on the second platform and there is only one ladder to get to the next level. There was a boy who looked to be 3 with a pacifier in his mouth blocking the way. She said "excuse me, I'd like to get up, please move". I thought she was handling herself fine. He turned and open handed slapped her in the face three times. I intervened from the ground saying "Please don't hit" and then he looked at me and grabbed her hair (which goes to her bottom) and yanked it. At this point she just quivered, cried, hung her head and came down the platform to me for comfort. As I hugged her she just kept repeating, "Momma, he hit me in the face. That's mean."</p> <p>The mom had two more children with her (one older and one younger). She approached me and asked if he hit her. I couldn't sugar coat it. I said "yes, three times in the face and pulled her hair". She replied with "I'm sorry, he's non-verbal". She did come over and attempt to have her non-verbal child apologize and my daughter did hug him. </p> <p>But wowza. I've seen kids play rough before, but never this sort of blatant aggression. She ultimately told me he's special needs and has a speech impairment. I feel sorry for their challenges. But I really struggled as mama bear to watch another child lash out at mine in such a manner.</p> <p>I generally try to be "hands off" and remind our daughter different families have different rules when it comes to playground behaviors. How would you have handled this? </p> <p>I really just wanted to leave at that point. </p>