https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 07 May 2026 06:49:01 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pay-for-los-college-or-give-large-financial-gift-at-graduation/page/2#post-1049920 Wed, 28 Aug 2013 14:27:34 +0000 immabeetoo 1049920@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I didn't read all PP responses but I hope we can do what my parents did - give a set amount, per year and I could choose to cover the rest with my own work, loans, or go to a cheaper college. I chose a more expensive private school and worked my butt off to save up and work during college and left without any loans. I graduated early and went through to get my Masters so that semester of my undergraduate scholarships (and parental gift) carried over essentially making my MPA 50% cheaper. I valued my classes more and managed my time better knowing that I had financial stake in my grades and degree. Juggling school and work was simply practice for post-college 'real life'. I would never consider paying for all of our chil(ren)'s college or just giving them a chunk of money once they graduated :) ((Although, if they had given me a chunk of money once I graduated it would've just gone into savings. I'm boring like that!)) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pay-for-los-college-or-give-large-financial-gift-at-graduation/page/2#post-1049757 Wed, 28 Aug 2013 13:33:25 +0000 lizzywiz 1049757@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@blackbird: regarding ,”… how many stages of my children's lives am I going to plan on funding?” I agree with your sentiment for the most part, which is partly why I would like her to pay at least some of her college. But when it comes to big expenditures, well, I wouldn’t have minded a little help. I didn’t get the kind of degree (undergrad) that starts making good money right away. I did the ‘right’ thing and paid my way through college and made frugal financial decisions for the next 10 years so I could eventually go to grad. school, too, but that meant I didn’t do hardly anything fun from 20-30 years old (no travel, etc). Then I got the kind of job that makes good money but was in a time crunch to have a baby and guess what? No money for maternity leave. I would like to be able to gift her with a little more financial freedom than I had, but I won’t have enough money to do it all, you know?</p> <p>@Dandelion: That is another reason I am thinking of setting money aside but not necessarily for college. Not all kids are college bound. Half my family is military or in trades that make great money without degrees.<br /> @MrsTiz: I was like you regarding fiscally responsible at a young age. I bought my first house (for a steal) when I was 22. It was a good idea because my mortgage was lower than most rents. But I guess everyone has a point about not all 22 year-olds are ready to get a $25,000.00 check to do with what they please. Someone above mentioned 30 being abetter age- I guess it will depend on my daughters maturity.<br /> @Mrs. Pen: "As proud as I am of not accumulating any loans and paying my way through school.... I would not wish this on anybody. It was hard and lonely." SO true!<br /> @sunny: Great plan. That is better articulated than what I said, but kind of what I was thinking. I just don't want her to head to college expected a full ride from us, but I do want to give her the financial boost that either lack of loans or a nest egg would give her.</p> <p>@Mrs. Jacks: You are right when it comes to the need internships and experiences- you can only do that if you have time and money to spare. Very good point.<br /> I could never go to discussion groups and whatnot either, because I had work.<br /> @bluestriped bee: Interesting- huh, I kind of like it! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pay-for-los-college-or-give-large-financial-gift-at-graduation/page/2#post-1047772 Tue, 27 Aug 2013 19:16:06 +0000 fert 1047772@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Jacks: Yes. It can be counted against a student's 'need' when filling out the FAFSA. Thus, less need-based grants for that student. We were told there are savings alternatives but the financial planner who we were speaking with fell off the face of the earth so we haven't gotten any real alternatives... sorry for the lack of info. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pay-for-los-college-or-give-large-financial-gift-at-graduation/page/2#post-1047600 Tue, 27 Aug 2013 18:14:44 +0000 BSB 1047600@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Still leaning towards paying for their college education based off the grades they get.</p> <p>Get an A... 100% paid college course<br /> Get an B... 75% paid college course<br /> Get an C... 50% paid college course<br /> Get an D or F... 0% paid college course</p> <p>I'll pay for food and board. </p> <p>Maybe I'll change this based off of GPA. </p> <p>Shoot, I got a good GPA in college and I would love to have at least 50% of my education paid for. Unfortunately, I paid and am paying for 90% of my education on my own. I don't fault my parents for not paying for my education. I would certainly hope my LOs don't expect college education to be paid for. </p> <p>I want my children to take college seriously, like I did. Not a chance to party hard like some of my friends did.</p> <p>Now if a 4 year or 2 year degree is not for them, I could apply these criteria to other types of education. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pay-for-los-college-or-give-large-financial-gift-at-graduation/page/2#post-1047590 Tue, 27 Aug 2013 18:10:45 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 1047590@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@fert: Do you mean it counts less against the kid so that they are more eligible for aid or the other way around? (I am trying to learn from your financial planner ;) ) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pay-for-los-college-or-give-large-financial-gift-at-graduation/page/2#post-1047589 Tue, 27 Aug 2013 18:09:11 +0000 fert 1047589@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Jacks: Totally agree, Mrs Jacks. Though I had it easier since tuition was a grand whopping $3.2k/year at the time and my part time work study job paid well. But I couldn't do internships, couldn't leave my job for a semester for study abroad or a summer break, etc. </p> <p>Also, keep in mind that though many 529's will let the student use the money for something other than college, if they decide to go to college, 529's count against getting need-based FAFSA money in a way that we were told having it in a regular bank account wouldn't (so sayeth our financial planner). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pay-for-los-college-or-give-large-financial-gift-at-graduation/page/2#post-1047571 Tue, 27 Aug 2013 17:57:27 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 1047571@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@nana87: If anything I was bitter that I worked 40 hours a week and took out loans and had to study and had to pull decent grades to get in to med school. I only had 7K in undergrad debt and it was because I worked my ass off... but I paid for the whole thing... (well, 4 years. Parents helped with the first year).</p> <p>I saw all these kids that could do neat internships and has better grades because they were less exhausted. They knew they were lucky, but it didn't make it easier for me! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pay-for-los-college-or-give-large-financial-gift-at-graduation/page/2#post-1047563 Tue, 27 Aug 2013 17:52:26 +0000 nana87 1047563@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We'll be saving for college. </p> <p>I don't buy the argument that paying for school yourself makes you appreciate it more because that is totally not my experience-- i was incredibly lucky (and am eternally grateful) that i didn't pay for my education. my parents wanted me to focus my time and energy on academics, so my only summer jobs were internships to build my resume/try out my interests. I went to an Ivy League and graduated w honors and am now pursuing a phd. I'm not saying that to brag but because its about the individual child and their drive, and I don't think money affects that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pay-for-los-college-or-give-large-financial-gift-at-graduation/page/2#post-1047537 Tue, 27 Aug 2013 17:36:21 +0000 tysonja 1047537@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>i grew up/live in canada so the out of pocket cost of tution at a good university for undergrad is considerably less than private college's in the states (phew!). my parents saved up and paid for both my and my brother's undergraduate degrees and they paid my tuition for my master's degree too. basically whatever was not covered by grants/scholarships i might earn in a particular year they covered the rest of tution. they also paid my dorm expenses in my first year of university, part of living expenses for my second year, and less and less as the years went on and i was able to pay for it myself by working summer jobs and pt jobs during school :). i really appreciate having been able to do seven years of post secondary schooling with no debt at the end! and although my tuition was paid, it was still a scrimp and save time, since i had to cover my own living/travel/food/etc. </p> <p>we are saving up for our LO's and hope to cover most of their tution too when they go to university :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pay-for-los-college-or-give-large-financial-gift-at-graduation/page/2#post-1047407 Tue, 27 Aug 2013 16:37:46 +0000 Pink Champagne 1047407@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Paying for college doesn't equal an unappreciative child. I had college paid for. I had my entire wedding paid for. I am VERY appreciative of my parents for providing those things for me. The only thing, IMO, that will make your child not appreciate their education is if they grow up not understanding that a higher education is a great privilege. As parents, you can instill those values in your child.</p> <p>I feel like just giving them a large cash prize upon graduation is just asking for them to a) use it to pay off their loans (why not just pay for college then? At least then they won't have the interest to pay off!) or b) blow, because they're 22 and most 22 year olds are not fiscally responsible. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pay-for-los-college-or-give-large-financial-gift-at-graduation/page/2#post-1047395 Tue, 27 Aug 2013 16:33:36 +0000 deactivated_account 1047395@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Jacks: That's crazy. I knew it would be some ridiculous number. I am so not ready to put away $800 a month for a child's college education. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pay-for-los-college-or-give-large-financial-gift-at-graduation/page/2#post-1047390 Tue, 27 Aug 2013 16:32:04 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 1047390@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsMcD: there are online calculators to help you figure out how much you need to save. For my 3 year old, the calculator tells me to save $800/month. It's a little less for my 18 month old. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pay-for-los-college-or-give-large-financial-gift-at-graduation/page/2#post-1047137 Tue, 27 Aug 2013 15:26:48 +0000 Lindsay05 1047137@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Jacks: Ahh thats ridiculous! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pay-for-los-college-or-give-large-financial-gift-at-graduation/page/2#post-1047025 Tue, 27 Aug 2013 14:50:53 +0000 deactivated_account 1047025@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>As someone who is paying a ridiculous amount of money each month for law school loans, and DH's teaching credential loans, I am very much aware of the burden student loans put on people. But if it were not for those loans, we wouldn't have been able to secure the good jobs that we now have. And even with such loans, DH and I still are able to afford a decent lifestyle because of our careers. </p> <p>I would of course like to save up for my furture LO's college education. But I will very likely have just barely stopped paying for my own college loans when I send my future LO to college. </p> <p>Has anyone determined how much - on a montly basis - will need to be socked away for 18 years to really benefit your kids' college? </p> <p>I pray pray pray my kids will be smart and athletic - enough so that they will get a scholarship somewhere. Then any money saved could be used for a house downpayment whenever LO is ready to settle down. </p> <p>Nothing pains or enfuriates me more than parents who are paying the loans of their college-graduate kids who are doing nothing with their college education. </p> <p>My final two thoughts: (a) I think that a college freshman year experience away from home is worth its weight in gold. (b) I'm not planning my number of desired LOs based upon my ability to pay for their college.</p> <p>Whew... what was the question, again? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pay-for-los-college-or-give-large-financial-gift-at-graduation/page/2#post-1046998 Tue, 27 Aug 2013 14:33:09 +0000 Rainbow Sprinkles 1046998@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My parents gave each of their 5 children 20k to put towards school. I used all of that 20k in my first year of university. That's 100k they had to save for us....which is why they couldn't help pay for my wedding. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pay-for-los-college-or-give-large-financial-gift-at-graduation/page/2#post-1046973 Tue, 27 Aug 2013 14:21:43 +0000 ShootingStar 1046973@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Jacks: Ah, yes I have subsidized and unsubsidized Stafford loans. That's really crazy. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pay-for-los-college-or-give-large-financial-gift-at-graduation/page/2#post-1046964 Tue, 27 Aug 2013 14:18:42 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 1046964@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsCB: Nope. I hadn't been a dependent since I was 18. It didn't matter. From the FAFSA website:</p> <p>"The loans that do not require parent information are the Federal Unsubsidized Stafford Loan, and the Graduate PLUS Loan."<br /> Those were probably the loan types you were using in grad school. In medical school I had already exhausted my PLUS loan and I did not take out unsubsidized, so they needed parental information. I was using Stafford and some special medical loans. No excuses, even if you are estranged! It really sucked to have to invade my parents' private financial life as a fully grown adult! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pay-for-los-college-or-give-large-financial-gift-at-graduation/page/2#post-1046951 Tue, 27 Aug 2013 14:12:44 +0000 ShootingStar 1046951@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Jacks: I didn't need to do that for grad school. I think it's only as long as you're considered a dependent? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pay-for-los-college-or-give-large-financial-gift-at-graduation/page/2#post-1046902 Tue, 27 Aug 2013 13:52:17 +0000 MrsH 1046902@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't think a child will appreciate schooling less because they didn't pay for it. My parent funded my undergrad and then I got a full ride to law school. DH paid his own way through undergrad and got a full ride for his MBA. I think we both appreciated and tried hard on all stages of our education because we knew it was important.</p> <p>My parents scrimped and saved to put me though undergrad because they wished their parents had been able to do so for them. I plan to pay for college and grad school (although I hope our child can get scholarships) because I know LO won't get any needs based financial help because of what we make. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pay-for-los-college-or-give-large-financial-gift-at-graduation/page/2#post-1046877 Tue, 27 Aug 2013 13:43:10 +0000 oliviaoblivia 1046877@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We will pay what we can. Hopefully we will be able to cover it all. My parents were able to do that for me and I hope we are able to do that for our kids. I had a $120k loan for grad school that was so suffocating, I really don't want my kids to struggle like we did to pay it off. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pay-for-los-college-or-give-large-financial-gift-at-graduation/page/2#post-1046828 Tue, 27 Aug 2013 13:25:25 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 1046828@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Lindsay05: If you live in the US, your parents' income counts forever. So when I was in med school, I still had to get their tax info in order to file my FAFSA. I was in my early 30s. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pay-for-los-college-or-give-large-financial-gift-at-graduation/page/2#post-1046815 Tue, 27 Aug 2013 13:22:24 +0000 Freckles 1046815@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Both of our parents paid for our education, including books. </p> <p>We plan on doing the same but want our kids to contribute somehow, whether they contribute to their RESPs when they get a part-time job, or pay for books. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pay-for-los-college-or-give-large-financial-gift-at-graduation/page/2#post-1046807 Tue, 27 Aug 2013 13:20:34 +0000 pregnantbee 1046807@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My parents paid for my undergraduate education, and they told me that my job was to get good grades. I've been forever grateful for that gift because it allowed me to really focus on education and not worry about paying for it. I went to grad school for free because I worked at a college and was able to get another degree parttime while working fulltime. Also a blessing.</p> <p>We'd like to pay for at least LO's undergrad education and will take it from there. Hopefully we'll also be able to help with a house downpayment and other things in the future, too. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pay-for-los-college-or-give-large-financial-gift-at-graduation/page/2#post-1046750 Tue, 27 Aug 2013 13:07:23 +0000 sunny 1046750@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We'll pay for our LO's education. If she gets enough scholarships to cover most of it, we'll hold onto that cash and gift it to her when she's ready to buy a home. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pay-for-los-college-or-give-large-financial-gift-at-graduation/page/2#post-1046748 Tue, 27 Aug 2013 13:07:12 +0000 LovelyPlum 1046748@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: very fair. In the grand scheme of things, my parents did end up paying for most of my undergrad, but I am acutely aware of what a weighty decision that was. I think the child being involved is very, very important. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pay-for-los-college-or-give-large-financial-gift-at-graduation/page/2#post-1046742 Tue, 27 Aug 2013 13:06:17 +0000 mrskc 1046742@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My parents &amp; grandma paid for almost all my schooling (I took out one very small loan). I think it's better to save/help pay for college rather than giving one lump sum of money after graduation. </p> <p>I was very motivated to be independent after college. I didn't want to rely on my parents for money anymore! As soon as I found a job, I started paying for everything myself. They haven't helped pay for anything since and I don't expect them to. My husband and I used our money to pay for our wedding, down payment &amp; we did fine with out any help while I was on maternity leave. I am so grateful for all the help my parents have given me. It has allowed my husband and I to be in a very good financial situation. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pay-for-los-college-or-give-large-financial-gift-at-graduation/page/2#post-1046729 Tue, 27 Aug 2013 13:03:58 +0000 looch 1046729@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wanted to comment again because what I wrote might be misconstrued. I don't think a full ride/parents paying for 100% of education means that the kids don't appreciate it, it's more about being thoughtful of your choices. I think a lot of kids don't realize the implications of decisions they make at 17 or 18, so how can we expect them to unless we involve them in the process?</p> <p>I fully expect to sit down with my son when the time comes and talk through the investment in his education and ultimately his livlihood. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pay-for-los-college-or-give-large-financial-gift-at-graduation/page/2#post-1046704 Tue, 27 Aug 2013 12:57:37 +0000 Mrs. Pen 1046704@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I paid for my entire college education... which is exactly why I'm not done.</p> <p>My parents couldn't afford our college, and I didn't qualify for enough aid to cover my schooling. So for three years I worked full time (one summer I worked three jobs - one FT, two PT) to pay for school as I went. I could only take a couple classes at a time because of my jobs but it all paid off in the end. </p> <p>Now that I'm going back, I have a kid and am financially independent of my parents so I qualify for aid. Not much, but enough for the state-school I am attending. </p> <p>As proud as I am of not accumulating any loans and paying my way through school.... I would not wish this on anybody. It was hard and lonely. I hope my son can go to college without a financial worry but the likelihood of that is very, very slim.</p> <p>So with that being said - I will do what I can to help him but I really don't think our careers will allow for that much "extra" money. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pay-for-los-college-or-give-large-financial-gift-at-graduation/page/2#post-1046698 Tue, 27 Aug 2013 12:55:58 +0000 heffalump 1046698@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My parents paid for my school, both undergrad and grad. I don't think I appreciate it any less just because I didn't have to pay for it. Actually I had friends using their loan money for traveling and eating at fancy restaurants while my parents paid my credit card bills and I put myself on a budget. If I could afford to pay for LO's college I will..... but unfortunately we're not as well off as my parents. If I had loans now I wouldn't be able to SAH with LO, so I appreciate so much not having to deal with that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pay-for-los-college-or-give-large-financial-gift-at-graduation#post-1046671 Tue, 27 Aug 2013 12:50:47 +0000 ShootingStar 1046671@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I plan to do for my kids what my parents did for me - we will help research schools and let them know which ones we can pay for, and for ones out of reach they will need to get loans. *BUT* after seeing how cavalier DH was about racking up over $100k in student loan debt, we will be educating them a ton on how the loan payoff will affect their future.</p> <p>My biggest concern is that I want kids who are able to stand on their own 2 feet after college. DH was basically financially crippled for years because of his loans, and his sister was never pushed to get an education and sponges off their mom to make up for her minimum wage earnings.</p> <p>I will not be giving them a large gift after college. I don't believe taking out loans means that kids value their education more. I think kids have no idea what they're getting themselves into and wouldn't understand the impact of their decisions until they realize they can't afford to live on their own because their student loans are as much as an apartment payment (like DH). </p>