https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 21 May 2026 02:01:33 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ped-doesnt-want-me-to-breastfeed/page/2#post-808338 Fri, 24 May 2013 21:42:26 +0000 beachbee 808338@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@septemberlove: I thought the same thing!! Our original pedi was right around the corner and the one I was interested in switching to was much further away. And DH didn't seem to mind some of their opinions as much as I did. I think he thought i was being too sensitive to their advice. But I agree with other posts that it is a mutual decision, so I decided to have a heart to heart with DH. His point of view was if LO was having gaining issues, every pedi was going to tell us the same thing. When I explained to him that it was more than just their attitude on supplementing, that I felt they weren't personalizing the care and focusing on some of our unique needs with LO, I wasn't comfortable continuing to see them throughout her childhood. After that conversation DH was totally onboard and we interviewed the new pedi and never looked back! Honestly it was the best decision for us, and my only regret is that we didn't start with this office from the beginning! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ped-doesnt-want-me-to-breastfeed/page/2#post-806387 Fri, 24 May 2013 05:09:05 +0000 lomom 806387@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@runsyellowlites: I was telling my mom about the appt and she said "doesn't he realize that LO is your baby and you'd do ANYTHING for him?!" </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ped-doesnt-want-me-to-breastfeed/page/2#post-806231 Thu, 23 May 2013 22:33:48 +0000 runsyellowlites 806231@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@septemberlove: I hate that! Definitely find another pedi! I'm not supportive in bullying from providers &amp; trying to back you in a corner by the divide &amp; conquer to get your husband against what you think is best IS bullying! That leaves a bad taste in my mouth. :/ </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ped-doesnt-want-me-to-breastfeed/page/2#post-806204 Thu, 23 May 2013 22:22:40 +0000 blackbird 806204@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ask around for a BF friendly dr! Maybe at a la leche league meeting? Or ask your LC if she recommends another ped. I EP, too, but it was important that I chose a supportive dr who was educated in the BF department</p> <p>I don't know much about preemies but my cousin had a 32-weeker and I remember her BFing him. He was only 4.5 lb at birth...I mean, at what point is your LO "big enough" to just skip the fortified stuff? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ped-doesnt-want-me-to-breastfeed/page/2#post-806122 Thu, 23 May 2013 21:40:17 +0000 irene 806122@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Support. Meet with an IBCLC. Tell her the situation and then decide what to do. I am sure she has seen many cases like yours before and she will be experienced enough to tell you if EBF is good for your baby or if she really needs some extra boost. </p> <p>And yes, I dont think u can do EP for 1 year. I did it between 8.5-10 months (LO won't nurse anymore by 8 months). I can't stand it.</p> <p>ETA: What kind of ped is that??? Change to a woman doctor!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ped-doesnt-want-me-to-breastfeed/page/2#post-806017 Thu, 23 May 2013 21:08:26 +0000 immabeetoo 806017@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@septemberlove: pumping is a PITA... you deserve a medal! glad you talked it out, but I hope he gets more on board supporting you or taking some of the workload off your shoulders (like washing pump parts, etc.). I'd definitely pursue looking for a different pediatrician who is more supportive of breastfeeding if it is important to you. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ped-doesnt-want-me-to-breastfeed/page/2#post-806013 Thu, 23 May 2013 21:07:44 +0000 lomom 806013@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@runsyellowlites: yeah, sounds pretty familiar. :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ped-doesnt-want-me-to-breastfeed/page/2#post-806005 Thu, 23 May 2013 21:05:22 +0000 lomom 806005@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I got a chance to talk to DH this evening and tell him what was on my mind. He feels like if it isn't broken, why fix it? EP'ing is working just fine, in his mind. LO is thriving and gaining rapidly, so he doesn't understand why I want to change things and take the risk of messing up LO's tremendous progress</p> <p>I told him that the bonding was my main focus, ensuring LO gets breastmilk for a year is a very close second, then it's also theoretically a time savings and could be easier once we get the hang of it (I wouldn't be mixing a bottle while holding a screaming baby and waiting for the bottle warmer to heat up the bottle, etc.) </p> <p>He ended up saying he really didn't care one way or the other what I did after I explained that his weight gain would be checked and the LC wouldn't let him go without the appropriate nutrition. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ped-doesnt-want-me-to-breastfeed/page/2#post-805118 Thu, 23 May 2013 18:10:13 +0000 AprilK 805118@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would definitely still meet with the LC... I didn't try as hard as I could have to get my son to breastfeed after his 10 day nicu stay (he was premature) and I regret it.</p> <p>If I had to do it over, I would get something like this:<br /> <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Health---meter-HDC100KD-01-Toddler-Scale/dp/B0009MFUZE/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&#038;qid=1369350108&#038;sr=8-1&#038;keywords=baby+scale" rel="nofollow">http://www.amazon.com/Health---meter-HDC100KD-01-Toddler-Scale/dp/B0009MFUZE/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&#038;qid=1369350108&#038;sr=8-1&#038;keywords=baby+scale</a><br /> and weigh him both before and after each feeding to see EXACTLY how much he got and record it. The one LC I saw did this and it was a relief to see exactly how much he got. I talked to a few others that I met randomly after my son was past a year and they said that the nurses in the NICU should have done this weight thing before and after each feeding instead of discouraging me from nursing him. So I would definitely look into this as a way to disprove his "you don't know what he's getting" argument.</p> <p>As for DH laying into you on wanting to meet an LC and saying that pumping isn't work... I prob would have smacked him across the face. You are a better woman than me! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ped-doesnt-want-me-to-breastfeed/page/2#post-805089 Thu, 23 May 2013 18:02:24 +0000 Arden 805089@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't mean to butt into your relationship and personal life, but the comment that your DH wouldn't "allow" you to change peds worries me. Parenting is an equal responsibility, and at this point your choice of pediatrician affects you much more than it does him. If your pediatrician isn't the best choice for your son, convenience and preference take a back seat and your son's best interests take the front. He shouldn't have the option of making that decision without you.<br /> I worry about a ped who would say those things. You need support, from him AND your DH. I hope an LC can help give you some support. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ped-doesnt-want-me-to-breastfeed/page/2#post-805049 Thu, 23 May 2013 17:54:00 +0000 sarac 805049@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yikes, sound like you and your husband might benefit from some neutral support to talk all this through. Your breast feeding goals are huge - he needs to understand them and give you the support and understanding you need to meet them.</p> <p>I would find a new ped absolutely. That is absolutely a fine weight gain. My daughter was born at 6 pounds at 41 weeks - and she certainly didn't put on three pounds in the first five weeks. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ped-doesnt-want-me-to-breastfeed/page/2#post-805046 Thu, 23 May 2013 17:53:51 +0000 runsyellowlites 805046@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@septemberlove: DH saw how much anxiety our pedi caused me &amp; caught on to his plow pretty quick... I think alot of pedi's do this:</p> <p>Direct his concern to me, I would give him how I felt about said issue &amp; the literature as to why I felt that way &amp; then knowing he wasn't getting anywhere with me he'd look at DH and basically repeat his concern... thankfully DH knows all the same stuff I do so we were always on the same page.</p> <p>Does this ^ sound even vaguely familiar? I seriously think doctors do this all the time b/c in so many cases dads are less informed on the particular issues.</p> <p>I would do your research &amp; share ALL OF IT, over &amp; over with your DH to help change his perspective. In the end, even if DH didn't agree we would've switched (first because our pedi actually fired us) but really because I was a mess every visit! I couldn't deal with that stress of having to argue for myself &amp; P anymore!</p> <p>I really hope your LC appt goes well and your DH can start seeing the other side! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ped-doesnt-want-me-to-breastfeed/page/2#post-805039 Thu, 23 May 2013 17:50:31 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 805039@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If your baby is gaining and growing, then you know they are getting enough. I see no reason why you can't try your plan... If there are problems, you could always go back to EP </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ped-doesnt-want-me-to-breastfeed/page/2#post-805029 Thu, 23 May 2013 17:48:46 +0000 hilsy85 805029@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@septemberlove: your dh wnt allow you to switch pedis?! That's ridiculous...why does he get final say?? Especially if you can fid a pedi who has more up to date/accurate information on important things like breastfeeding. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ped-doesnt-want-me-to-breastfeed/page/2#post-804673 Thu, 23 May 2013 16:41:10 +0000 brownie 804673@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My nieces (twins) were born at 30 weeks and after getting home where exclusively breastfed with no fortifier. They were gaining great weight but did this and didn't tell their ped. So, it is possible. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ped-doesnt-want-me-to-breastfeed/page/2#post-804654 Thu, 23 May 2013 16:37:08 +0000 lomom 804654@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@beachbee: I'd love to switch, the more I think about just his attitude in general, the way he really doesn't listen to me, the more I want to switch. I highly doubt DH would allow it though. This ped is very close to our house and DH likes him. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ped-doesnt-want-me-to-breastfeed/page/2#post-804637 Thu, 23 May 2013 16:34:14 +0000 beachbee 804637@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We went through this as well. I am glad I met with the LC because she was able to refer me to a different ped who was much more supportive of our wishes. We switched around 2 months and have been much happier ever since. LO is gaining with no problem and our new ped is wonderful. I will say we were having other issues with the original ped outside of BF so that also contributed to the switch. I figure we are going to have a long relationship with this person and we wanted to be as comfortable as possible with them. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ped-doesnt-want-me-to-breastfeed#post-803811 Thu, 23 May 2013 13:49:51 +0000 autumnlove 803811@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think you should meet with the LC. Good luck! EP is sooo much work and you are doing a great job! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ped-doesnt-want-me-to-breastfeed#post-803793 Thu, 23 May 2013 13:46:09 +0000 MarieJ 803793@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My dd was also a preemie (34w5d) and weighed 5lbs2oz. She was on the fortified breast milk with me exclusively pumping. She didnt actually breast feed until day 7 of her being in the Nicu and 3 days before she came home. Her ped wasn't against bf'ing, but wanted her to continue the fortified breastmilk. I didn't. Pumping is hard work! I breastfed exclusively and still do! Her weight gain has been fine and we've had absolutely no issues.</p> <p>I say meet with the LC! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ped-doesnt-want-me-to-breastfeed#post-803777 Thu, 23 May 2013 13:43:13 +0000 bamblm 803777@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>sloaneandpuffy's suggestion is great. The LC we had works very often with early-pretermers, LBW and VLBW infants and moms, and failure to thrive infants--she actually calls the peds herself sometimes when there are issues. The LC's would be familiar with BF-friendly pediatricians in your area, and if you are looking for one with experience with the kind of issues your LO is dealing with, she may know of the perfect ped for you. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ped-doesnt-want-me-to-breastfeed#post-803763 Thu, 23 May 2013 13:40:09 +0000 JoyfulKiwi 803763@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@septemberlove: I think a 2nd opinion is a good bet (especially if he said there aren't enough vitamins in breastmilk?!). Keep your LC appointment - I think a scale is a great idea. I weighed my son after a feeding once a week for 3 months and he was perfectly healthy! It was good to know how much he was drinking. Bonding feeding is a great suggestion too.</p> <p>I'm concerned that your husband seems to think that breastfeeding is not only not worth it, but "easy" AND he doesn't help out. You should work on getting him to come around to helping you out and supporting you, as just a basic form of respect. It's not right that he would "never" wash parts. :(</p> <p>This is all very very tough to go through. I remember feeling so much pressure to make sure our son was feed and healthy! It's hard, but you're doing a GREAT JOB!! Hang in there and trust yourself! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ped-doesnt-want-me-to-breastfeed#post-803733 Thu, 23 May 2013 13:32:58 +0000 prettylizy 803733@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@septemberlove: follow your gut mama, mothers instinct is a real thing and it's there for a reason. I agree with PP's about getting in touch with an IBCLC ASAP. My DD only gained 10 lbs in her first year, but she is happy, healthy and very well. I understand the need for weight gain, but adhering to a perscribed chart is hard, since we're all so very different, babies included. </p> <p>I also love the SNS suggestion! EPing is wicked hard work, and I don't know if we would have stuck it out to self weaning if I had to EP, so don't let anyone tell you otherwise! lol! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ped-doesnt-want-me-to-breastfeed#post-803721 Thu, 23 May 2013 13:30:24 +0000 mrskc 803721@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would definitely seek out a second opinion from a different ped. Try and find one more BFing knowledgeable and friendly. Sorry you're dealing with this. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ped-doesnt-want-me-to-breastfeed#post-803718 Thu, 23 May 2013 13:29:25 +0000 lomom 803718@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@sloaneandpuffy: I think I might ask. This isn't the first not-so-BF-friendly discussion we've had. At LO's first appt, he told me that there weren't enough vitamins in breastmilk and that LO needed poly-vi-sol. Realistically, LO needs vitamin D drops, not poly-vi-sol. Between the breastmilk, which has plenty of vitamins, and the formula we're fortifying with, I'm confident he's getting everything he needs, except vitamin D. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ped-doesnt-want-me-to-breastfeed#post-803707 Thu, 23 May 2013 13:26:14 +0000 lomom 803707@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm seriously considering a second opinion, he never even asked with what and how we were fortifying. We've just been following the NICU discharge orders. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ped-doesnt-want-me-to-breastfeed#post-803699 Thu, 23 May 2013 13:25:00 +0000 mamimami 803699@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Can you see if some LCs can recommend another pediatrician who's more BF friendly? At least for a second opinion if not for a permanent change? </p> <p>I would be POed if I were you! With him and the hubs. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ped-doesnt-want-me-to-breastfeed#post-803695 Thu, 23 May 2013 13:23:59 +0000 Anagram 803695@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>One of my husband's best friends came over last week..he has two daughters, both born SEVERELY premature. His oldest was born at only 26 1/2 weeks. She only had a 5% chance of surviving, but she did!</p> <p>However, she had feeding issues (of course, for being born that young) and her peds kept wanting her to be fed fortified breast milk until she was almost a year old, and after 3-4 months, her parents thought she was getting too big for her height, but the ped kept insisting she needed fortified milk, so they kept doing it.</p> <p>A month before her 1 year appointment, they switched Peds, and the new doctor said her weight (she was OVER weight for her length) at that age was putting undue stress on her heart and told them to stop fortifying immediately and that they should have stopped months before.</p> <p>So you just never know....definitely get a second opinion. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ped-doesnt-want-me-to-breastfeed#post-803683 Thu, 23 May 2013 13:20:11 +0000 rachiecakes 803683@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would definitely get a second opinion and most importantly, trust your instincts.<br /> DS wasn't gaining properly and the ped asked us to supplement. I was terrified of the words "failure to thrive", I reluctantly did as was requested. DS continued to stay in the lower percentiles until after his first birthday, which leads me to believe it was more genetics (DH &amp; I are both smaller than average people) than how much breastmilk he was getting. He loves to eat, pizza in particular lol, and is still a skinny guy. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ped-doesnt-want-me-to-breastfeed#post-803669 Thu, 23 May 2013 13:16:48 +0000 runsyellowlites 803669@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@septemberlove: The fact is most pedi's just are not knowledgeable in breastfeeding so their first response is to steer away from it... especially in cases when the lo isn't "textbook" like in your case where he was early. Breastmilk is generally 22 cal per oz... &amp; 1.2 g... It's been awhile since I looked into but I know breastmilk also changes with baby's need &amp; I *think* that in the case of premies it's actually more "packed" with stuff.... kinda like how you make illness specific antibodies that your baby is exposed to.</p> <p>I'm glad you're keeping the LC appt! Sounds like she'll be a good help! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ped-doesnt-want-me-to-breastfeed#post-803647 Thu, 23 May 2013 13:12:13 +0000 lomom 803647@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LemonLong: my LO was IUGR too, in addition to being a preemie and I asked the ped to look at the growth chart for his adjusted age, which would be 1 week old, he'd be in the 50th percentile! But his ped doesn't look at adjusted age. </p>