https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 05 Apr 2026 22:26:40 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/per-loss-with-a-toddler#post-2926141 Tue, 18 Jan 2022 00:11:44 +0000 bees_knees 2926141@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Sorry about your dog :( Sounds like he was a very special part of your family. </p> <p>Echoing sentiments of catgirl and caitcat, but also one more thing (not specific to pet loss)--when someone we know dies, I make sure to emphasize that the dog was "really really really old" or "really really really sick" or in a "really really really bad accident", etc...so the next time LO is sick, or at the hospital, or whatever, they don't think they will die. </p> <p>And yes, be prepared for a lot of questions that are a lot harder for you to answer than you may think. My sister died last summer and I still get many questions from my kids that I don't know how to answer, and a lot of repeat questions...I think it doesn't matter *how* you answer as long as you try to do it honestly and compassionately. And don't worry if you stumble over your words, or don't know what to say--she's two, so the exact content doesn't matter as much (IMO). Just remember they are very literal--for example, my 3 year old was very concerned that we "left my sister at the church" (at the funeral) and didn't know how she would get home. Which prompted a conversation about the cemetery, souls vs bodies, etc etc. </p> <p>I also think it would help to print off a picture of her and your dog and put it beside her bed or somewhere she can see it. My 3 year old carried a picture of my sister around for a month straight--still does sometimes. And my older boys picked a special spot to hang her picture in their room. </p> <p>The other special thing for us is finding a symbols of my sister all around--butterflies are her thing, and we see them everywhere. We also read a book together that said something like "whenever you find a feather on a ground, that means an angel has visited"... so my kids started a feather collection in a jar next to my sister's memorial picture--much like the picture next to their beds, it's something concrete that they are able to focus on. </p> <p>Anyways. Navigating grief is hard, and I don't think there's any right/wrong way! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/per-loss-with-a-toddler#post-2926138 Mon, 17 Jan 2022 20:37:27 +0000 karenbme 2926138@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@catgirl: thanks, we’re totally getting constant questions at this point. She keeps asking where he went, and our response is that he went to the hospital and then he died. It’s so hard to say over and over he died and try to explain what that means. We’ve already talked to daycare and made sure everyone is on the same page so she doesn’t get more confused.</p> <p>@caitcat: the point about waves is well taken. DD is too young to draw pictures, but I was wondering about putting a picture of him somewhere high traffic for her, like her room or in among the alphabet fridge magnets. We spent a lot of time today looking at pictures of him and it seemed to help her. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/per-loss-with-a-toddler#post-2926132 Mon, 17 Jan 2022 14:56:22 +0000 caitcat 2926132@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so sorry about your dog. It's so hard to lose a pet and helping kids through it really adds another layer. My oldest daughter was almost 3 when one of our cats died pretty suddenly. We explained it in similar, simple terms like you mentioned. My daughter loved this cat (he was so easy-going that he even let her dress him up with her doll stuff and push him in her toy shopping cart...it was amazing) so I worried about what a big hole it would be for her. </p> <p>I was braced for her to have lots of feelings and lots of questions, more like what @catgirl mentioned. It threw me for a major loop when she was fairly pragmatic about it. She seemed to understand what happened and she definitely sensed that we were sad and why we were, but then she quickly pivoted to things like, "Will our other cat get his bowl and his feather toy?" or "Do we still need two cat carriers now?" and it just wasn't the direction I was expecting in the moment. But it was her sorting things out in her own way. About a week later, she drew a picture of her and the cat while we were coloring and she asked if I could hang it on her bedroom wall to help her remember him because she missed him. So her feelings about it came in waves, and in some different ways than I was expecting. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/per-loss-with-a-toddler#post-2926131 Mon, 17 Jan 2022 14:02:23 +0000 catgirl 2926131@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@karenbme: I'm so sorry for your loss. :heart: </p> <p>My DD was a little older when we first had to explain death to her, closer to 3. Within about a year we had two relatives die and then one of our cats. There is an episode of Daniel Tiger called "Blue fish is dead" that was really helpful. And we also found this article really useful: <a href="https://www.babycenter.com/child/parenting-strategies/how-to-talk-to-your-preschooler-about-death_65688" rel="nofollow">https://www.babycenter.com/child/parenting-strategies/how-to-talk-to-your-preschooler-about-death_65688</a> </p> <p>I think the hardest thing for me was that she wanted/needed to talk about death a lot. Which makes sense but I wasn't fully prepared how hard that would be for me emotionally. But talking about it a lot helped her understand and process what was going on. The article talks about avoiding euphemisms, which we did, but we had to regularly remind our parents to keep the language simple and straight forward. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/per-loss-with-a-toddler#post-2926130 Mon, 17 Jan 2022 13:51:53 +0000 karenbme 2926130@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We lost our family dog today. He was very old (best guess 15-16) but we weren’t prepared for it. DD is 2 and seems to sort of get it. We told her he died and that meant that his body stopped working and we wouldn’t get to see him anymore. But she loved him very much and I’m worried that we aren’t going to be able to know what she needs. I’m wondering if anyone else on here went through the loss of a pet with a young child and if you would recommend any resources. Pic of DD “reading” to our dog just before Christmas 😭</p> <p>[attach=5813/22/r5vb6f.450x600.3832F427-F475-4F96-9525-0991403F4919.jpeg] </p>