https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 15 Jun 2026 02:38:13 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/perenium-massage#post-90816 Fri, 09 Mar 2012 16:06:02 +0000 MsMini 90816@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Nskillet: First of all ... regarding the episiotomy, they absolutely to not cut your back to your anus, the episiotomy cut is made at a 45 degree angle to your anus, and it can actually protect you from ripping to your anus. </p> <p>This is yucky, but think about your nether regions like perforated paper, with your vagina, anus, and urethra being the perforations ... if you naturally put pressure on the perforations, what happens? The rip naturally tends to go towards the weak spots (i.e. urethra and anus) and thats obviously bad! If it looks like you might get a bad tear (i.e. skin is really tight and waxy looking) the epis done in the right way relieves the pressure and goes in a safer direction. </p> <p>You can also just have small tears from the shoulders coming out (those are the "skid marks" people talk about). </p> <p>People try perineal massage, but I have asked the OB's at my hospital about it, and they told me they see no difference in tears between those who do and don't do it ... so it you do it right it wouldn't hurt, but probably won't help (I am not going to bother ... I want my DH's interactions with my parts to be play, not work).</p> <p>Honestly, as long as you pay attention to the instructions of your caregiver, and they provide chances for stretching and perineal support while the head exits, that is your best protection. I have never been to a delivery where the doctor does not provide support to the perineum. Most of the bad tears I have seen were impacted by Mom's losing control, and pushing when they were told to stop and give the head a chance to stretch the tissues. Not to say they wouldn't have torn anyways, but losing control and not paying attention to instructions definitely didn't help! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/perenium-massage#post-90750 Fri, 09 Mar 2012 15:21:28 +0000 Nskillet 90750@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MsMini: ok school me Nurse! How can I help myself not rip apart? And is it true of they cut you it's to your *ahem* anus? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/perenium-massage#post-90746 Fri, 09 Mar 2012 15:16:29 +0000 umlo 90746@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I didn't do this it my doctor did during delivery. I had no idea she was doing it (too focused on pain management) until DH told me afterward and said she was really stretching it out. I tore just a tiny bit so I think the massaging and not pushing the baby out full force helped. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/perenium-massage#post-90741 Fri, 09 Mar 2012 15:09:51 +0000 MsMini 90741@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Nskillet: You can tear in every direction ... and in multiple directions at once. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/perenium-massage#post-90740 Fri, 09 Mar 2012 15:08:45 +0000 Nskillet 90740@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: wait....you can rip near the clitoris?! I think I'm blissfully naive about what can actually tear down there :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/perenium-massage#post-88891 Thu, 08 Mar 2012 02:20:44 +0000 looch 88891@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I did it, and had no tears in my perineum. I started at 34 weeks after my morning shower. I worked up from a few seconds to two minutes. It's really easy, just oil up your thumb with some sweet almond oil and insert. Use a side to side motion. That's it.</p> <p>I had 4 stitches, but they were on the top part, near the clitoris. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/perenium-massage#post-88533 Wed, 07 Mar 2012 15:37:37 +0000 MegWag 88533@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Nskillet: Sadly, no. I'd planned on it, but at 36 hours when they told me they needed to up my dose of syntocin I cracked. I had a drug called remifentanil for 4 hours and then nothing for the last 30 minutes. It was a life saver to get me through the home stretch, but then still be able to feel everything when I was actually pushing him out.</p> <p>@artbee: LOL! My husband is a pescaterian so I'd be SOL if I didn't eat it :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/perenium-massage#post-88524 Wed, 07 Mar 2012 15:23:48 +0000 chopsuey 88524@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I never did it and ended up with a 3rd degree tear! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/perenium-massage#post-88523 Wed, 07 Mar 2012 15:23:23 +0000 heffalump 88523@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MegWag: Good to know for my next time... although hopefully I'm nice and stretched out so I won't tear again. Although last pregnancy fish made me want to puke. I couldn't imagine not pushing at the very end... but obviously it was worth while! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/perenium-massage#post-88506 Wed, 07 Mar 2012 15:04:04 +0000 Nskillet 88506@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Megwag did you have a med free labor? So awesome! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/perenium-massage#post-88491 Wed, 07 Mar 2012 14:45:37 +0000 MegWag 88491@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@keiki_mama: and@Nskillet: Sorry. I should have written it out. Essential fatty acids. We eat a lot of fish and veggies.</p> <p>The other thing is that the midwives here are trained to minimize damage to the perineum. When I was pushing, there was a point just as he was crowning that she told me to stop and pant- just for a few seconds to give things time to expand naturally- instead of rushing ahead and pushing. Those few seconds SUCKED, but pushing him out felt awesome. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/perenium-massage#post-88475 Wed, 07 Mar 2012 14:26:09 +0000 keiki_mama 88475@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MegWag: I'm a noob. What is EFA? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/perenium-massage#post-88466 Wed, 07 Mar 2012 14:17:06 +0000 heffalump 88466@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We didn't do it. And I got a 2nd degree tear.... so I feel like it can't hurt any! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/perenium-massage#post-88459 Wed, 07 Mar 2012 14:07:02 +0000 BabyBoecksMom 88459@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I didn't do any before hand, but the nurse and my doctor did it during labor and I want to say it helped. I only had a tiny tear by my urethra and some skid marks. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/perenium-massage#post-88458 Wed, 07 Mar 2012 14:04:50 +0000 Nskillet 88458@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MegWag: wow congrats how wonderful! What are EFA's (pardon my ignorance) any tips I'd love! My sister tore and needed a sizeable episotomy. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/perenium-massage#post-88391 Wed, 07 Mar 2012 12:32:55 +0000 ustechie 88391@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>sure thing! Um, not really...I mean, I read a little about it, but basically just sort of went by feel. Also, DH and I use the cheapest olive oil we could find. He uses just one finger, but sort of goes in a "U" shape, massaging the sides and the lower part. </p> <p>Again, we started out slowly, and didn't really start pulling for the stretch until after about 4 times. And even then, we keep it pretty brief and it never hurts. My Dr said many people go overboard and end up doing more harm than good- so you just need to be careful and not rush the process. But, I definitely think it's helping!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/perenium-massage#post-88388 Wed, 07 Mar 2012 12:28:54 +0000 MegWag 88388@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I meant to do this, but never got around to it. I tried to do it on myself, but it was too awkward and then I just sort of forgot about asking DH to help me.<br /> I ended up delivering with no tears and just 2 small "grazes". I think keeping hydrated and eating a diet of high EFAs was probably partly responsible. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/perenium-massage#post-88376 Wed, 07 Mar 2012 12:07:05 +0000 Nskillet 88376@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ustechie: Thanks for your reply! Just wondering, did you reference any books or websites for technique? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/perenium-massage#post-88363 Wed, 07 Mar 2012 11:53:34 +0000 ustechie 88363@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We've started doing them around 36 weeks or so, and DH does them for me. I've read how uncomfortable they can be, so I was really nervous trying it out- but just like you- I'll do ANYTHING to avoid an episiotomy or tearing!! But, I think if you take it really slow and don't try to overdo it in one day, they don't hurt at all- it's just...weird! LOL! If it was uncomfortable, we would stop or even skip a few days. Just listen to your body. DH has commented on how much more he can "pull", so I'm hopeful that it's working! Good luck!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/perenium-massage#post-88343 Wed, 07 Mar 2012 11:21:00 +0000 Nskillet 88343@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Any ladies considering this or done it? DH said he would help me with it I'm just wondering if it was helpful or not as there seems to be conflicting information on the web. I'm hoping to avoid an episiotomy if I can! </p>