https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 10 Nov 2026 17:39:41 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/philosophical-question-about-conception#post-1090787 Mon, 16 Sep 2013 16:14:45 +0000 Vegmama 1090787@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Jacks: That was so beautifully written! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/philosophical-question-about-conception#post-1088368 Sun, 15 Sep 2013 16:05:55 +0000 Cherrybee 1088368@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Its amazing to think that half of my daughter has been with me my whole life... :heart: :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/philosophical-question-about-conception#post-1088257 Sun, 15 Sep 2013 14:03:55 +0000 yoursilverlining 1088257@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it's an amazing process, and it's hard not to think of the "what-ifs" of all the possible children you could have had...but I also think it's a complete fluke at the point of conception. Of course, nuture plays a huge part in how your children end up, but babies definitely have their own personality at birth, which is so amazing to me.</p> <p>I don't believe that children or souls are waiting in heaven/somewhere for us and select us - it's a nice thought when you think of happy families who have no trouble conceiving and want kids and raise them well; but that idea fails for me when you think of all the awesome parents who cannot conceive naturally, or of all the shitty/abusive/murderous parents who have plenty of kids. I can't imagine any angel baby/kid selecting those abusive parents for themselves (or of any god/goddess/higher power subjecting babies to that torment); or of selecting those parents over awesome, loving parents who cannot conceive naturally. So, I don't believe in "what's meant to me" or that we get the kids we were meant to have. Just think it's random! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/philosophical-question-about-conception#post-1088249 Sun, 15 Sep 2013 13:57:27 +0000 looch 1088249@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@swedishfish: yup, I get that completely, it's wonderful what science can do, but it's personal preference. I thank the powers that be every day that we live in a place where we have the choice! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/philosophical-question-about-conception#post-1088244 Sun, 15 Sep 2013 13:54:56 +0000 swedishfish 1088244@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: I would've love to have conceived naturally but it wasn't happening for us. I asked myself if that meant I wasn't "supposed" to have a baby and decided that a higher power gave doctors the scientific technology and brainpower to help me. </p> <p> @Shutterbug: good luck! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/philosophical-question-about-conception#post-1088234 Sun, 15 Sep 2013 13:42:22 +0000 Shutterbug 1088234@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@swedishfish: that is crazy to think - and that your younger child(ren) could have been your first child, if the embryos were chosen differently. We have an IVF consult October 7th, hopefully starting a cycle in December-ish. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/philosophical-question-about-conception#post-1088232 Sun, 15 Sep 2013 13:41:04 +0000 looch 1088232@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>And this is discussion is exactly why I've posted elsewhere on the boards that interventions are not for me or my husband. It's totally a case of if it's meant to be, it will be. If it isn't, we don't believe in going any further, but that is not to say I don't support it for others. It's a matter of personal comfort. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/philosophical-question-about-conception#post-1088228 Sun, 15 Sep 2013 13:37:42 +0000 swedishfish 1088228@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Shutterbug: yes! What if they had chosen to implant two different embryos out of the ones we have? And it's mindblowing to think that my frozen embryos are my future child(ren). Are you going through IVF soon? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/philosophical-question-about-conception#post-1088176 Sun, 15 Sep 2013 12:04:54 +0000 Mae 1088176@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Absolutely--- it would be an entirely different and unique person if it was different sperm or egg! But I think it comes down to how much you believe in fate. Either that one child was meant for you specifically and that sperm and egg always would have found each other, and you were meant to find your spouse and everything else in life was meant to be exactly as it is...... or you don't believe in fate and it is all random! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/philosophical-question-about-conception#post-1088150 Sun, 15 Sep 2013 11:13:58 +0000 Ash 1088150@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Jacks: nice response! Hahah! Mine didn't know what it was getting into. ;) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/philosophical-question-about-conception#post-1088148 Sun, 15 Sep 2013 11:12:01 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 1088148@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Ash: My mom says I said the same thing when I was very young. I don't remember saying that.</p> <p>Now I joke and say, "I guess my soul was up for a challenge!" She knows I'm kidding... (mostly). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/philosophical-question-about-conception#post-1088144 Sun, 15 Sep 2013 11:05:56 +0000 Ash 1088144@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Jacks: it's funny you say that about the little souls choosing their parents... When I was younger, I told my mom I remember being in heaven and picking her to be my mom. I think it's fun to believe that's true. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/philosophical-question-about-conception#post-1088132 Sun, 15 Sep 2013 10:51:09 +0000 Shutterbug 1088132@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@swedishfish: I think about this too (because we may do ICSI) like, you're handing over the fate of your future baby to a stranger. I think as an embryologist (or whoever actually does the ICSI) that's a lot of pressure, if you think about it that way, haha. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/philosophical-question-about-conception#post-1088130 Sun, 15 Sep 2013 10:49:04 +0000 JerricaBenton 1088130@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I love to think about this stuff too. The sentimental/spiritual side of me likes to believe that conception is such a miracle that the baby you get is the one that's meant for you. It took us about a year to conceive and that was the thought that helped me, that it would happen when our baby was 'up.' </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/philosophical-question-about-conception#post-1088129 Sun, 15 Sep 2013 10:46:47 +0000 Mrs. Confetti 1088129@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It truly is amazing, but I find that I have trouble letting my mind wander down this rabbit hole, because it eventually leads to worry about potential diseases, problems, etc., I don't know why. I try to just appreciate the wonderful little man that I have :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/philosophical-question-about-conception#post-1088125 Sun, 15 Sep 2013 10:40:30 +0000 SugarplumsMom 1088125@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH and I are still bewildered about just how lucky we've gotten with DD. It could have all been very different, she could have been very different. One of the reasons why I'm not completely convinced about not having another is because I'm curious how another one of us combined would be like, not just in looks, but in personality. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/philosophical-question-about-conception#post-1088117 Sun, 15 Sep 2013 10:25:50 +0000 CupQuakeWalk 1088117@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Very different! IMO </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/philosophical-question-about-conception#post-1088110 Sun, 15 Sep 2013 10:17:24 +0000 skibobrown 1088110@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Well I think they would definitely be very different if a different sperm had won out. But if you prefer to, you can think that the sperm that did win out was the one that was meant to. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/philosophical-question-about-conception#post-1088069 Sun, 15 Sep 2013 09:48:06 +0000 Foodnerd81 1088069@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Jacks: Yes to marveling that our daughters already have all the eggs that could become our little grandchildren! It's insane. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/philosophical-question-about-conception#post-1088066 Sun, 15 Sep 2013 09:46:23 +0000 cascademom 1088066@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yeah, I think about this especially when LO looks so much like me. How did my genes dominate with him? Will our next one look like DH? I also wonder how we'll get the girl sperms to do their magic for the next go round or will we have a brood of boys? I know someone whose first daughter looks exactly like her while their second daughter looks like her husband, just crazy. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/philosophical-question-about-conception#post-1088054 Sun, 15 Sep 2013 09:35:54 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 1088054@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Just as our universe and this world were the result of so many random events, so is the creation of our beautiful children. Different egg, different sperm, different day, totally different outcome. And that moment of creation, where sperm meets egg is totally mundane. Some many hours after sex (or after egg retrevial), long after everyone has moved on to other occupations, egg and sperm quietly meet, randomly and this whole cascade of completely life altering events happens without any of our knowledge or understanding. Up until that very point, it was all randomness and as soon as the sperm penetrates the egg, the building blocks are completely formed. Then there is a whole new cascade of epigenetics, gene switching and inactivation and rearrangement that fine tune the product.</p> <p>Add to my sense of wonder by considering that when our tiny girls are born, they already have their full complement of eggs... the major building block of their future babies. Cycle of life and biology!</p> <p>The whole thing is mind boggling.</p> <p>Sometimes I think it's fun to believe that there are these little pre-existing souls that choose us... but I'm not sure I always believe that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/philosophical-question-about-conception#post-1088047 Sun, 15 Sep 2013 09:28:37 +0000 Mrs. Jump Rope 1088047@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We were just talking about this the other day! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/philosophical-question-about-conception#post-1088036 Sun, 15 Sep 2013 09:21:20 +0000 travelgirl1 1088036@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think about this all the time, I just can't imagine A not being exactly as she is. She's just ace! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/philosophical-question-about-conception#post-1088017 Sun, 15 Sep 2013 09:00:34 +0000 MrsF 1088017@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH and I were just talking about this yesterday. We're so in live with M it's crazy to think that we could've had a totally different baby! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/philosophical-question-about-conception#post-1088016 Sun, 15 Sep 2013 09:00:33 +0000 katsupgirl 1088016@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Stuff like this blows my mind. It's so amazing how it all comes together to create these tiny miracles. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/philosophical-question-about-conception#post-1087916 Sun, 15 Sep 2013 06:53:48 +0000 Grace 1087916@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Totally think they'd be different. They'd be siblings, not clones. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/philosophical-question-about-conception#post-1087912 Sun, 15 Sep 2013 06:50:04 +0000 swedishfish 1087912@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My mom brought this up to me because we did IVF with ICSI so one sperm was chosen to be injected into one egg. It's crazy to think that if the tech had chosen a different specimen I'd have a completely different baby! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/philosophical-question-about-conception#post-1087893 Sun, 15 Sep 2013 06:12:09 +0000 blackbird 1087893@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Her features would be different and her personality likely would be, too. To an extent, anyways-nurture vs nature and all. She'd be the long lost sibling of E! It's something I had thought about numerous times with our issues and in the end, E is the perfect fit for our family. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/philosophical-question-about-conception#post-1087887 Sun, 15 Sep 2013 05:43:40 +0000 Foodnerd81 1087887@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think about that a lot. It's so crazy to me how much was determined about her at that very first moment. It's sort of nuts. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/philosophical-question-about-conception#post-1087886 Sun, 15 Sep 2013 05:38:08 +0000 mrbee 1087886@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Our kids would definitely be different people if they had different DNA!</p> <p>That said: as a twin, it's interesting to see how different two people can be with identical DNA... so DNA isn't the only determinant of uniqueness! </p>