https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 06 Jul 2026 02:18:54 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/planning-your-birth#post-475397 Wed, 02 Jan 2013 13:11:43 +0000 Minnie_Girl 475397@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@JoJoGirl: At various points throughout labor I used hydrotherapy (hot showers/birth tub), an exercise ball, moaning, horse lips, counterpressure (this was critical because I had all back labor), an over-the-door pull-ups bar, lots of different positions, and moving around in general. I was more of an active birther than a hypnobirther. </p> <p>I'm glad I had prepared lots of options, because I needed them. Honestly, the best thing to do is whatever it takes! If you're interested in hypnobirthing I would definitely take classes. I recommend crafting a flexible style that works for YOU versus only preparing through a single style. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/planning-your-birth#post-472873 Mon, 31 Dec 2012 19:01:56 +0000 ladyfingers 472873@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yep. The only people who have really said anything are one friend in particular and DH. DH only really says something when I get really nervous about the possibility of needing a c-section, lots of interventions, etc. It's not that he disagrees with me, but he more doesn't understand the big deal about needing those things, as long as we end up with a healthy baby. It totally blows his mind that, while I'm not saying I don't want an epidural, that I want to wait as long as possible for one. I tell him that he just doesn't get why a "regular" birth is so important to so many women, and yes, as long as LO is healthy and happy then mission accomplished, but I still reserve my right to fret, but he just doesn't understand at all. It makes me kind of nervous that he won't really get my back in the delivery room if they start wanting to stick this and that in me -- that he'll just be like, "Baby, they know best, what's the big deal?" </p> <p>Then my friend -- ugh, it drives me nuts. She's had two c-sections and doesn't understand why everybody doesn't get them. When I told her I didn't know if I wanted an epidural, she told me I wasn't a martyr and to not be ridiculous, and that when she told her doctor the same thing (the first time around) he was like, "Who are you that you think you can do this without meds" and that she now knows what he means (even though she really can't know what he means since she's never had a vaginal birth, but whatever). A mutual friend of ours had to have a c-section with her first child and was really traumatized by it (she had pre-e and was induced and they finally sectioned her after a while for "failure to progress") and she had posted on Facebook that the next time she has a baby she really wants to try for a VBAC, and my friend was like, "Ugh, can you believe so-and-so said that? She's so ridiculous. Do you know how incredible dangerous VBACs are and how many people DIE from that? Unbelievable. Just get the c-section." It was so judgmental and misinformed. </p> <p>So I just don't talk to her about my choices :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/planning-your-birth#post-472715 Mon, 31 Dec 2012 16:03:21 +0000 LazyLightning 472715@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thing is, it doesn't even matter what you pick because everyone says something bad! If you say you want a c-section, people tell you how awful that is. If you want an epi, you get epi horror stories (don't bother, mine didn't work, i got migraines due to leaking spinal fluid, etc). If you want to go natural, it's "OH THE PAIN". People are shitty that way... everybody's an expert and thinks they know what you want. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/planning-your-birth#post-472559 Mon, 31 Dec 2012 14:22:15 +0000 matador84 472559@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I just went into it open minded. I preferred having a natural birth, but if that couldn't happen, I sure wasnt opposed to being medicated. I was adamant about no c-section unless emergency. When people would be like "oh you'll never have a natural birth, you'll want the epidural, etc, etc" I would just say okay, we'll see and shrug it off. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/planning-your-birth#post-472552 Mon, 31 Dec 2012 14:19:18 +0000 JoJoGirl 472552@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Minnie_Girl: What 'other strategies' do you speak of? :) I'm asking because I'm currently on the fence for taking a hypnobirthing class and have hesitated posting a thread about it here because previous threads haven't gotten many responses.<br /> (/threadjack! sorry!) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/planning-your-birth#post-472446 Mon, 31 Dec 2012 13:47:13 +0000 Minnie_Girl 472446@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Having had a homebirth that ended in a transfer to a hospital over 30 minutes away from home, my advice would be...ignore the naysayers and go for the homebirth!! </p> <p>My transfer scenario was pretty typical, in that I was a FTM who was exhausted from an unusually long, slow labor and needed rest/help to finish. Now that I've had a taste of both experiences, I'm even more convinced that homebirth is an excellent, safe choice. You'll have birth experts there to support you, keep a close eye out for anything unusual, and help guide you to good decisions. So long as you stay healthy and pay attention, you and your baby will be just fine at home. </p> <p>For doubters I would give a blanket statement like "for low-risk women, home birth with midwives is actually as safe as hospital birth and has some great benefits," etc. I also made a point of not talking about it unless asked, and framing it in a positive, non-judgey way. </p> <p>As for the pain? Yeah, it hurts, but pain can't actually hurt you. ;) I found it much, MUCH easier to cope at home where I could move around and get comfy. It was much harder to do that in the hospital where I was confined to a wheelchair and bed. I also noticed that people weren't interested in supporting me so much as looking at the machinery readouts...even my husband got distracted. It was a much lonelier, scarier experience. </p> <p>Birth tubs and hot showers are FABULOUS during labor! I labored with back labor for days (plural! days!) without any drugs. The other coping strategies worked so great that I never felt a need for an epi until I hit the third night without getting any rest (and only then because I was reaching total exhaustion, not because the pain was so bad). Seriously, if you want it, YOU CAN DO IT. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/planning-your-birth#post-472431 Mon, 31 Dec 2012 13:38:47 +0000 immabeetoo 472431@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@SouthPaw: I agree! Hope you get the perfect birth for your fam and that others lay off you:) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/planning-your-birth#post-472420 Mon, 31 Dec 2012 13:33:49 +0000 SouthPaw 472420@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@runsyellowlites: thank you so much for the websites I will read up! I agree that the best way to share an opinion is to educate myself and where/when necessary be able to defend the options.</p> <p>@sarac: I do not think that everything will go 100% as we or I plan however I do want to envision an ideal situation and go from there =)</p> <p>@JoJoGirl: Once I get DH on board I feel that the rest will fall into place... as long as him and I are on the same page we'll be goo!!</p> <p>@scg00387: I think it is the to-be-parents decision regardless of @home or @hospital! Glad you stuck out for what worked best for you!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/planning-your-birth#post-472407 Mon, 31 Dec 2012 13:27:37 +0000 immabeetoo 472407@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I simply chose not to discuss my plan with others as much as possible. I chose a hospital birth but also heard from those who thought I ought to try at home. I figured it was good practice for parenting since everyone seems to have opinions about everything when kids are involved! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/planning-your-birth#post-472275 Mon, 31 Dec 2012 12:43:27 +0000 JoJoGirl 472275@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@SouthPaw: Meh luckily we don't care what they say ;) DH is more committed to a natural birth than I am so overall we are on the same page. We just inform our families what our plan is and don't really care what they think. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/planning-your-birth#post-472274 Mon, 31 Dec 2012 12:43:26 +0000 sarac 472274@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Well, there's certainly the chance that your birth won't go the way that you want it, and you should really try to open yourself to that fact. But regardless, you should plan and hope for the perfect, best birth, whatever that means for you. Hope for the best, try to get it, and if you don't - grieve it and move on. You'll be most likely to get something resembling the best, even if it isn't absolutely perfect. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/planning-your-birth#post-472199 Mon, 31 Dec 2012 12:06:07 +0000 runsyellowlites 472199@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I got quite a bit of flack for our choice of hbac. I started by doing TONS of research on homebirth and found it to be my statistically safest option, even as a vbac. DH was MORE than supportive though and through our pregnancy journey became a natural birth AND homebirth advocate. The more he learned the more he felt that while hospitals and pain medication intervention does have it's place it's not in the normal low-risk birth and their perspective tends to attribute to causing those "just in case" situations. My mom was also very supportive &amp; never told me that maybe I should choose another option. For everyone else, I became as knowledgeable as I could on the stats and when someone tried to come against me I kindly educated them. They learned pretty quick to keep their doubts to themselves &amp; others became more confident in their own bodies abilities! I stayed away from medicated birth stories &amp; gained as much confidence in my body as I could. I was the only one in my group of other pregnant real life friends to actually have a successful unmedicated birth &amp; attribute it alot to being the only one that really didn't accept any other options. Figured if I was going to train &amp; prepare to run a marathon I would never line up at the starting line and go "here's to hoping" or "I'll try"... why would birth be any different? Lol.</p> <p>Here are couple great blog posts on choosing homebirth. They may help. =)</p> <p><a href="http://birthwithoutfearblog.com/2012/09/17/a-fathers-perspective-the-journey-from-hospital-to-home/" rel="nofollow">http://birthwithoutfearblog.com/2012/09/17/a-fathers-perspective-the-journey-from-hospital-to-home/</a></p> <p><a href="http://vbacfacts.com/hbac/" rel="nofollow">http://vbacfacts.com/hbac/</a> </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/planning-your-birth#post-472173 Mon, 31 Dec 2012 11:58:06 +0000 Mrsbells 472173@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>When I was pregnant a lot of people were quite negative. If I said I wanted a natural birth, they would tell me how impossible it was or say things like "theres no trophy for pushing" i think sometimes it best to ignore the negativity and do your own research and act on that </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/planning-your-birth#post-472164 Mon, 31 Dec 2012 11:54:56 +0000 SouthPaw 472164@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Jojo - yea I have to keep stressing that it's not about proving anything it's just my choice. I am DEATHLY afraid of needles and think that I have the will power, focus and drive to do this without an epi. I hope that you are able to sway your family to support your wishes and stick to what you envision!! </p> <p>@Cherrybee - can't help but be excited that DH is so concerned for your safety and that of your unborn child!!! I think that you will be able to sway him midly to support you just stress the importance and point out the pros! So once you are assigned a midwife thats it?! You can't find someone who shares your vision? :\ </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/planning-your-birth#post-472052 Mon, 31 Dec 2012 10:54:30 +0000 Cherrybee 472052@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@SouthPaw: I could have written that last paragraph myself!! We live just a few streets from the hospital but my hubby is adamant that we should be in the hospital "in case something goes wrong". He'd have me under general anesthetic with half of NASA present if he could!! I have a feeling that, when the time comes, he will be all about the epi. Then, when I saw the midwife (all our pre-natal care is undertaken by midwives here in the UK and you get who you're given) she asked "where will be giving birth?" and I tried to talk to her about my needs and my husbands concerns. She replied "okay, I'll put hospital down here than and, if you change your mind, let me know". ARGH! </p> <p>DH just asked what I'm doing and I told him I was talking on here about they way in which people always try to talk us out of natural birth. He replied "there's a reason we don't have "natural birth" any more.... because people die from natural childbirth". I'm not going to win this am I? Sigh. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/planning-your-birth#post-472032 Mon, 31 Dec 2012 10:41:30 +0000 JoJoGirl 472032@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@SouthPaw: Yeah. And things were different I think when our parents gave birth.. my mom thinks I'm nuts for trying to go without an epi cause they were never taught there were any benefits to it (she thinks it's "for the experience" and "to prove something to myself", neither of which are true). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/planning-your-birth#post-471972 Mon, 31 Dec 2012 10:07:33 +0000 SouthPaw 471972@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Jojo, I find it so interesting that everyone has such a strong opinion about it when I never thought it would be an issue! My parents have a medical background as well and asked the SAME questions!! ahhh. I suppose the intentions are good just poor communication. Good luck to you =) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/planning-your-birth#post-471964 Mon, 31 Dec 2012 10:02:16 +0000 JoJoGirl 471964@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We are also having a midwife and a doula but are giving birth at a hospital for the 'just in case'. However both my dad and FIL are doctors and they are still freaking out about not having an OB, or even knowing if an OB will be at the hospital when we are there. We keep telling them our midwives partner with OBs and they will be on call if something goes wrong, but holy moly this has been a tougher battle with them than I anticipated. And we'll be in a stinkin' hospital! We're just trying to stick to our plan but be open-minded in case things go differently, since they might, and that's okay. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/planning-your-birth#post-471959 Mon, 31 Dec 2012 09:59:50 +0000 SouthPaw 471959@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>When you think about how/where you want to give birth, were you ever discouraged by what others thought? If you wanted to have a natural birth did you find it upsetting when people would try to put the fear of god into you, stating you just don't understand HOW MUCH PAIN you will be in? Or how you're not strong enough to forego an epidural? How did you deal or respond to the criticism??</p> <p>I would love to have a water birth at home with a midwife and doula... my husband understands my desire however is very hung up on making sure both the baby and I are safe if something should go awry. We live VERY close to a hospital (5 min max.) and I think we would be fine... just starting to think that it won't happen how I want. DH has been supportive and much less critical than others. </p>