https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 06 May 2026 20:32:39 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/play-date-school-edition#post-2873632 Sat, 23 Feb 2019 16:02:42 +0000 Anagram 2873632@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@irene: we've been approached a couple of times this year for playdates. Like everyone else, we are busy so they can be hard to schedule. But both times, the moms just emailed me (we have a class email list) and said their kiddo has been asking for a play date and asked if I would be interested in scheduling one. Both times I said yes, but it took a while to actually plan. Like most other families, we are pretty busy, so we definitely can't do like weekly standing play dates or anything. Maybe like 1x a month at most.</p> <p>The question about have I become friends with any of them.....no. not yet. They all seem nice, but I already have such limited time, lol. It's not an impossibility, it just hasn't happened yet. I barely see my existing mom friends as it is, although this morning I managed to have a play date with MY mom friends (we got together so we could chat while the kids played). But that happens about 1x every other month. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/play-date-school-edition#post-2873625 Sat, 23 Feb 2019 14:54:25 +0000 irene 2873625@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@erinbaderin: Exactly - thank you! There were also these instances where the other mom would reciprocate saying next time we can do xyz at our house! Never heard back for the next few months. And then DS saw her at school and asked her again (several times in different occasions, DS does that lol) and she said yes, and again nothing. So in those instances I am like, OK I guess we shall leave her alone... but then she is always super nice when I do see her. </p> <p>And yes, isn't it annoying how we don't click with some moms? And DS always make best friends with the moms that I don't click with. I do appreciate the drop offs especially now we are in 1st grade, I am very comfortable :happy: The thing I am now uncomfortable with is if the other family offer to take the kids out to dinner and a movie (which we were offered once). I don't feel right for other people to have to feed DS and pay for the movie as I am not sure if I could/ want to reciprocate, and I also worry other people taking DS outside (but somehow I am OK for them to pick DS up at school), I am not sure why. :silly: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/play-date-school-edition#post-2873603 Sat, 23 Feb 2019 09:49:17 +0000 erinbaderin 2873603@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My oldest son started kindergarten this year, and we haven’t had any play dates with his classmates, but we did have some last year with a few daycare friends. I had their phone numbers from birthday party RSVPs, so I contacted them that way. With one mom, she just dropped her son off every time, which I found a bit surprising. The other mom usually stayed, one time she dropped her son off because her older son had a hockey game she wanted to see. The first mom has never reciprocated - every time she does say “oh, next time maybe you can come to our house!” but then I never actually hear from her. I don’t take it personally - actually it’s kind of a relief because I don’t feel comfortable just dropping my son off, but I don’t really click with the mom and don’t want to make small talk for a few hours while the kids play. The other mom has invited us over a few times also, and I really like her, so that’s fun. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/play-date-school-edition#post-2873599 Sat, 23 Feb 2019 08:29:34 +0000 ElbieKay 2873599@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@irene: the other thread was talking about a parent who was asking for childcare favors. As long as you are doing the inviting / hosting and it is not an overbearing frequency, I don’t think you need to worry about that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/play-date-school-edition#post-2873583 Fri, 22 Feb 2019 23:09:38 +0000 irene 2873583@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks for all the reply!</p> <p>I guess my advantage is we do have an extensive contacts list for all families. Also, we are in the 3rd year at the same school I've met at least 50-60% of the 1st grade moms through events, mom night outs, birthday parties...etc. So yes, I do only ask people out that I have already met (and they seemed to be normal lol), and only the ones that DS repeatedly express interest in playing with / those he claims to be "best friends" with.</p> <p>@bhbee: Good to know the thought process behind this. I guess from my point of view, it felt awkward to ask.... and I am always the one asking. </p> <p>ETA: Thinking about it, if you plan it right, wouldn't it help you if your 1st grader is off somewhere playing so you only have two? Would that potentially give you any relief at all?</p> <p>@ElbieKay: It is definitely possible I think too much. I just hate it if I become that mom who imposes too much and become an annoyance without knowing. Heck, didn't we just have another thread talking about a weird mom friend situation from school ? :silly: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/play-date-school-edition#post-2873456 Fri, 22 Feb 2019 08:15:39 +0000 Adira 2873456@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My oldest is in Kinder and we've only had one play-date and it was with his best friend from daycare (so not a new friend he met in Kinder). It was on the weekend and I offered to host and told the mom she was welcome to hang out or she could just drop her kid off for a couple hours if she wanted. She opted to stay and it was really nice being able to chat with her. We're fairly friendly though because our kids have been best friends since they were in the toddler room when they were 2!</p> <p>Xander does have a friend in Kinder though that has asked about having a play date. We just haven't set one up yet. I know his mom though because we both do pick-up (so I see her daily) and we do Cub Scouts together. Once life is less busy, I'll probably try to schedule another weekend play date and offer her the same thing: she can hang out or just drop off her kid. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/play-date-school-edition#post-2873452 Fri, 22 Feb 2019 07:07:17 +0000 ElbieKay 2873452@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@irene: I think you are reading too much into this. If you want to schedule a play date, ping the mom and see what happens. Worst case scenario she says no.</p> <p>Telling a child you are open to a play date does not necessarily translate into a promise to put effort into scheduling one. I always feel put on the spot when a child says that to me and their mom is not there. I am very underwater on life right now and play dates are not on my priority list unless my son is reeeeeeally pushing for one. And then it is easier to schedule one with someone we already know. But that is not exactly a sentiment I can express to a child so I usually just say something vaguely positive and non-committal.</p> <p>Personally I have scheduled a bunch of play dates over the past few years. I work full time so my policy is that I have to meet the parents before I will allow a play date at a private location (ie our house or theirs) while I am not there.</p> <p>We only really do drop off play dates with one family that we know quite well. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/play-date-school-edition#post-2873443 Thu, 21 Feb 2019 23:29:51 +0000 ALV91711 2873443@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DS is in kinder and has recently just started asking to have play dates. I’ve been really unsure how to go about this but I like the idea of sending a note to give to his friend with our contact info. We don’t have a directory and any kid he has mentioned wanting to have a play date with catches the bus and I drop off/pick him up. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/play-date-school-edition#post-2873283 Thu, 21 Feb 2019 09:39:01 +0000 Mommy Finger 2873283@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'll be honest, we haven't done any play dates yet with school friends. The only playdates we've done are with the friends DS1 made in daycare since I know the moms and the boys have been friends for many years now. I'm not opposed necessarily to play dates with new friends but I'm a little wary since I don't know the parents and don't know their homes. I can see meeting at a park or something first in order to get comfortable with their parents and start that relationship. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/play-date-school-edition#post-2873275 Thu, 21 Feb 2019 09:19:36 +0000 bhbee 2873275@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@irene: so I’ll admit I have been that volunteering mom who said ok but doesn’t really plan to initiate anything ... it’s not that I’m against it but I’m so overwhelmed with life right now I’m probably not going to take initiative. I wouldn’t be afraid to reach out, I think there are a lot of parents who feel shy/awkward, or are just busy, but would not mind making a new connection. Everyone likes to be invited even if they have a hard time actually scheduling. </p> <p>Btw my oldest is also in first grade. One complication for us is I also have a preschooler and a nursing baby. It just makes it harder to plan and have extra kids over. We have really only had play dates with families where I already knew the mom. </p> <p>In general, whether it’s play dates or birthday rsvps or whatever, I think you’re far better off if you meet the parents in person first. Obviously not always possible especially in a big class. But some good options might be to organize a weekend play date and invite the whole class (at your school playground or nearby park or something) or organize a mom’s night out. Even if you only get a few takers I have made good mom/kid friends that way. Then it’s easier to connect more and I think more likely to make a family connection vs just kid connection. If you don’t have contact info the room parent might be able to help, if you have one. I think many people are more comfortable on neutral ground / in a group setting to start. </p> <p>I am SO not good at this generally. But wanted to throw out a few ideas! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/play-date-school-edition#post-2873273 Thu, 21 Feb 2019 09:16:32 +0000 Becky 2873273@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I gave DD (she's in K) a note to give a girl on her bus who she has made friends with after she told me they wanted to have a play date. The mom texted me a few days later and we set one up. She actually reciprocated the next play date right away and DD will be going there next weekend. The dad dropped her off and didn't even come in which I thought was super weird because I've never met him. When I drop DD off at their house I plan to chat for a few minutes just to make sure they're not weirdos. </p> <p>We've had one other drop-off play date at our house which I set up via text with a dad who we've met a number of times and whose daughter is in the same class as mine. He said the next play date could be at their house, but hasn't set it up yet. I think he's probably just busy, and I plan to ask if his daughter wants to come back over again soon. I don't take having to initiate personally at all, because I could just as soon not set up play dates and DD would be perfectly happy playing at home with her sister, but she struggles a little socially so I think they are valuable.</p> <p>There was a family at DD's preschool/daycare who we really hit it off with and we used to get together with them fairly frequently. We never did drop off play dates with them because it gave us a chance to socialize together too. We also have a group of 4 families we do monthly dinners with, and there are 10 kids between us. I really like these bigger get togethers where we all get to socialize, but I think the one-on-one play dates are also really valuable for building friendships and working on social skills. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/play-date-school-edition#post-2873262 Thu, 21 Feb 2019 08:48:07 +0000 irene 2873262@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Ajsmommy: Our school has an extensive directory with phone numbers and emails so it is relatively easy for me! And then I do sometimes bump into some of the parents, and right there I'd say hey! DS always talk about your LO and he kept nagging me for a playdate. Will that be OK with you? We'll exchange contact info, or even make up the date right there.</p> <p>I wonder if you can even send a blank card with your # and a brief message (hey, the DDs want to have a playdate), and see if the other mom calls you back? Ask your DD to give it to her friend and to bring it home to her mom? </p> <p>I also find it a little annoying -- DS sometimes will see these parents at school for volunteering / class activities...etc. He would ask his friends' moms if they can do a playdate. These moms always told DS yes! But then honestly none of them ever initiate with texting or emailing me first. I have to always reach out. This is very uneasy for me because sometimes I don't know if the grown ups are just saying yes to a kid and they actually didn't want to do it. Ah well ... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/play-date-school-edition#post-2873247 Thu, 21 Feb 2019 07:54:22 +0000 Ajsmommy 2873247@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>following bc DD, 5 yo, has been asking for a play date with som of her classmates but I have no idea how to even approach it. DD and her friend are always talking about it when I pick up and one time the little girl kept saying "call my mom" but I don't even have her #..... soooooo??? And we don't cross paths, like I never see her at pick up so I can broach the subject then..... I could leave a note for her but my thought is if her DD is asking why isn't she reaching out to me too?? </p> <p>Anyway, following to see what others do bc my DD is a SOCIAL butterfly and I just know she will want lots and lots of play dates!!!</p> <p>ps. thanks for starting this post. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/play-date-school-edition#post-2873220 Thu, 21 Feb 2019 00:13:33 +0000 irene 2873220@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>- So far we have done a play date with 3 kids since school started (two of them had repeated playdates). 2 are lined up for march. We have done about 7 playdates since the beginning of the school year last August.</p> <p>-Most usually I let the other parent pick up after school, or I'll drop off if it is a weekend. But I have one parent that wanted to stay a little and she ended up staying the whole time. I also just went over and we had a "lunch date". It ended up pretty nice. I am wondering if that's out of the blue?</p> <p>- I wanted to be friends with one of the families (the one that the mom stayed during the playdate, and we went over for an extended lunch date), but I don't know if I would be imposing. I miss having dates where we'll all get tickets to a show and we'll take the kids...etc. I just wasn't sure if the moms would find that annoying as they just want their kids entertained with the least amount of energy?</p> <p>If you do, how do you even ask? :silly: </p> <p>- We started doing playdate swaps consistently with one family, I love it! Not so much for the other ones. I am too intimidated to ask. Should I always offer to host another playdate if they hosted one, or would they find me annoying?</p> <p>- We have only been approached once and I had to initiate all the others... I was just wondering how come no one ever ask us :bummed: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/play-date-school-edition#post-2873218 Thu, 21 Feb 2019 00:06:10 +0000 irene 2873218@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This discussion will be more for kids who has started school. </p> <p>My DS is now in 1st grade. We started doing one-on-one play dates with his friends from school since last year which I barely know their moms. I am curious to know how you roll, and what is the "etiquette" if there is any!</p> <p>- How often do you do a playdate with LO's friends from school?</p> <p>- Do you let the other parent pick up, or do you drop off, or do you stay for a little while? </p> <p>- Do you end up making friends with some of these parents that you didn't know to begin with? And do you end up doing things outside of the house with the kids and the moms together?</p> <p>- Do you do a "playdate swap", where you host once and the other parent host once?</p> <p>- Do you get approached usually or do you approach other people for playdates?</p> <p>- Any other etiquette / things-to-know / funny / memorable / special things that happened? </p> <p>Thanks! I'll share below in the comments. </p>