https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 12 Apr 2026 21:23:10 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/playground-hate/page/2#post-2673706 Wed, 04 Jan 2017 10:52:41 +0000 Orchid 2673706@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Ginabean3: thank you! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/playground-hate/page/2#post-2666294 Fri, 16 Dec 2016 02:08:08 +0000 Ginabean3 2666294@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Orchid: ugh, so sorry this happened to your LO! I'd like to share a book that my daughter loves....<br /> <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Colors-Us-Karen-Katz/dp/0805071636" rel="nofollow">https://www.amazon.com/Colors-Us-Karen-Katz/dp/0805071636</a> </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/playground-hate#post-2665872 Thu, 15 Dec 2016 14:06:19 +0000 T.H.O.U. 2665872@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@bluestriped bee: We personally try to avoid the word hate. I dont like it and i dont think it has a nice connotation to it. However, you'd be surprised how many kids books I find it in! And I know in several households its a very common word. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/playground-hate#post-2665869 Thu, 15 Dec 2016 14:04:06 +0000 daniellemybelle 2665869@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Orchid: It's actually "The Skin You Live In"! <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Skin-You-Live-Michael-Tyler/dp/0975958003" rel="nofollow">https://www.amazon.com/Skin-You-Live-Michael-Tyler/dp/0975958003</a> </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/playground-hate#post-2665864 Thu, 15 Dec 2016 14:00:04 +0000 Orchid 2665864@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@daniellemybelle: I will look for that book. Thank you! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/playground-hate#post-2665851 Thu, 15 Dec 2016 13:51:24 +0000 Mrs. Goose 2665851@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This was sad to read. You handled it well and it seemed like hopefully your child didn't even notice! I agree with others that it seemed very intentional-especially to say the two phrases. One can hope that the child didn't know what they were saying really. When my brother was around 2.5/3 ish we went to a mall and there was another little boy who walked by him and my brother sort of laughed (in a confused and awkward way) and said "why is his skin dark?" We had a conversation afterwards about how different people have different skin and he was totally unphased. That kind of stuff is much more innocent and childlike. Also, we are in a small town where pretty much 98% of the population is white. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/playground-hate#post-2665751 Thu, 15 Dec 2016 12:08:46 +0000 BSB 2665751@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@irene: Yeah, saying you hate something isn't really innocent. Maybe the kid doesn't know what the word 'hate' means. Let's hope that. </p> <p>It's one thing to say that you don't like the color blue and on the other spectrum say you hate brown skin. </p> <p>Still sad that the grandpa has said it enough for the kid to repeat it and say it to another child. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/playground-hate#post-2665708 Thu, 15 Dec 2016 11:14:32 +0000 daniellemybelle 2665708@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@irene: I thought it could be this but did you catch the part about the Grandpa? The child is innocent of course but there's no mistaking the intention behind what he was taught to think &amp; say.</p> <p>I'm so sorry @Orchid. That had to have just broken your heart but I think you handled it well. We have a book I love - The Skin You're In - that I would probably be reading to LO extra if this happened to us... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/playground-hate#post-2665698 Thu, 15 Dec 2016 11:05:43 +0000 Greentea 2665698@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I too, wondered if it could have been innocent. Kids might say, "I don't like yellow hair!" or other things along those lines without all the complexity and context we may see in it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/playground-hate#post-2665677 Thu, 15 Dec 2016 10:21:26 +0000 looch 2665677@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I find all of this really challenging to navigate. I try to give people the benefit of the doubt and think about what's age appropriate. My son just turned six and one time while coloring, he said he didn't want to use a brown crayon to color a person because he said he doesn't like brown people. Then, a few weeks later, his self portrait came home and he had colored himself brown. </p> <p>It doesn't make it any less difficult to hear though, and I do wish that we lived in a world that didn't have such strained race relations. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/playground-hate#post-2665672 Thu, 15 Dec 2016 10:14:29 +0000 T.H.O.U. 2665672@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>That really is so hard to hear. Even if the child was just stating it from a innocent place (I like red instead of brown or something) its hard to hear. </p> <p>The other day my daughter asked if people had to "match" in order to get married. I feel guilty that we dont know any bi-racial families to really show her examples. I was proud to be able to tell her, no you just have to love each other. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/playground-hate#post-2665667 Thu, 15 Dec 2016 10:06:24 +0000 yoursilverlining 2665667@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm sorry - that is so maddening and heartbreaking. I hope this is something your LO never has to experience again. I also feel badly for the little boy who said what he did - - I can't imagine that's a very happy home. :bummed: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/playground-hate#post-2665665 Thu, 15 Dec 2016 10:02:24 +0000 twodoghouse 2665665@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so sorry that you and your son had to experience that. It's heartbreaking to think such hateful words could come out of a child so young. I'm glad you said something to the other kid. Maybe if enough people tell me not to speak to their children that way, he will somehow rise above the prejudiced views he is being exposed to by (at least) his grandpa. I hope your son is ok, too. He shouldn't ever have to hear those words. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/playground-hate#post-2665664 Thu, 15 Dec 2016 09:57:04 +0000 mediagirl 2665664@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ugh. I'm so sorry. I hate that your son was spoken to like that and that that little boy is growing up in a house filled with hate like that. It's so disgusting. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/playground-hate#post-2665621 Thu, 15 Dec 2016 09:03:47 +0000 808love 2665621@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think that the kid who said that to me (much older) was a product of his environment and not inherently mean. I think that for me, being a kid of around five years old, it would have comforted me in a way that I could understand that it was acknowledged that the other child was BEING mean. I don't think I would have understood the ignorance part....but not sure.<br /> Being mixed Asian/Caucasian/Pacific Islander but only be recognized for your 'color' was confusing to me at that age. I was color blind until that kid said something.<br /> ETA: Just realized @orchid's LO was younger than me and the hurtful kid was five so that changes things. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/playground-hate#post-2665610 Thu, 15 Dec 2016 08:36:01 +0000 irene 2665610@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: It wasn't just mom and dad's complexion, he said something else too I just didn't want to write two sentences here and have him judged by all the readers of the internet with no context lol. But bottomline is, I know for sure that my friend's child came from an innocent place and thought I'd bring that up. I do understand different kids have different upbringing... it is very unfortunate.</p> <p>Funny to say, I remember when I was a kid, at a certain point, I thought the flesh color is so ugly and weird. As in not as straight forward as red, blue, yellow...etc. I guess I had that thought when I had a hard time on mixing "flesh color" with gouache paint. lol</p> <p>It is so sad I don't even know why skin color is an issue. It's like polar bear and a brown bear. Or a tank of tropical fish has different colors. Every creature is so beautiful. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/playground-hate#post-2665603 Thu, 15 Dec 2016 07:20:41 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2665603@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@irene: noticing mom and dad's different complexion and determining mom is better looking is different than telling another kid you won't play with him because of his skin color. Your friend had a teachable moment opportunity to say dad is beautiful too and all skin colors are beautiful. The little boy on the playground was taught to reject people. </p> <p>@lamariniere: @808love: Crap like this stays with you. :bummed: I still recall the sting of being taunted "blacky, blacky!" at school. The playgrounds were separated by age group, so it was sometime in grade K-2 by a fellow K-2 student. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/playground-hate#post-2665599 Thu, 15 Dec 2016 06:44:44 +0000 lamariniere 2665599@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@808love: I was also around that age the first time some older kids made racial remarks towards me (I'm white/Asian). I told my (white) mom about it and she reassured me by telling me not to listen what they said, that they were coming from a place of ignorance, and that I was beautiful and worthy. Even though I was very young, my mom's words stuck with me and empowered me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/playground-hate#post-2665595 Thu, 15 Dec 2016 06:12:26 +0000 Orchid 2665595@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@irene: @autumnleaves: in a sense I do agree that all four or five year olds are innocent. Children will learn what they are taught, whether actively or through observation. I don't think a five or four year old is inherently mean and deliberately hurtful. But after watching my son like a hawk after the encounter (and the other child) and considering where we live, and the regalia worn by the grandparent, I'm pretty sure that poor child has been exposed to a lot of hate. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/playground-hate#post-2665593 Thu, 15 Dec 2016 05:49:14 +0000 autumnleaves 2665593@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Orchid: it is awful to hear that but I agree with @irene: that it could have been innocent. When I was that age I said something that sounds racist and horrified my parents and I really don't think it came from another adult or child. It could be a kid not knowing any better/not making sense. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/playground-hate#post-2665581 Thu, 15 Dec 2016 00:34:36 +0000 808love 2665581@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So sad! I was a victim of my first instance racial hate around this age! It was terrible. Still remember what was said on the playground. Super hurtful :*( Just the start of about a handful of other situations I witnessed as I grew up.<br /> I don't think I told my parents or anything. I was shocked and ashamed. A little part of me believed the kid and probably did a number on my self esteem. At that age, I probably would have just wanted a hug from my parents and been told how my brown skin was beautiful and how lots and lots of people love brown skin. And that kid was just really really mean. And how we (as a family) want to just be so nice and kind to people because being mean is a very sad, terrible way to live. If it was brought up again at a later time, then I would just listen and perhaps start talking about forgiveness and ways to use your words to stand up for yourself. Hugs to you and your babe. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/playground-hate#post-2665558 Wed, 14 Dec 2016 22:06:41 +0000 Mama Bird 2665558@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>What the what. I'm glad you were right there and were able to say something. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/playground-hate#post-2665536 Wed, 14 Dec 2016 20:17:56 +0000 irene 2665536@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Orchid: I am so so sorry dear....</p> <p>I do have to say though, sometimes kids are very innocent about these things. I have a very dear friend, her DS and my DS (both turning 5 soon) are best buddies.Both my friend and her DS are very pale with blonde hair. My friend was telling me the other day that she was terrified because of what her DS told her, that he thought only himself and his mom (my friend) are good looking because they have "very light skin". He thought his dad was not as good looking because he has dark skin -- and his dad is a white guy! lol. She is not racist by any chance and she is a very good and a hands on mom, her boy is raised very well and have very good manners, so she didn't even know where that came from. Later on she told me that her DS thought my DS (we are Asian) has lighter skin than his dad does and we are better looking. So sometimes maybe they came from a very innocent place... similar to "I like blue I don't like yellow"... you know? But still a lot of hugs to you. It's hard to not take it personally but hope this makes you feel a tad bit better.... xoxo </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/playground-hate#post-2665534 Wed, 14 Dec 2016 20:10:35 +0000 FaithFertility 2665534@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My heart hurts to hear that </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/playground-hate#post-2665531 Wed, 14 Dec 2016 19:46:59 +0000 erinbaderin 2665531@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Wow. I'm so sorry you and your son had to deal with this, and for that other little kid learning to say things they don't understand from horrible people. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/playground-hate#post-2665527 Wed, 14 Dec 2016 19:41:24 +0000 jhd 2665527@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am so sorry you experienced this. It makes me so sad. Much love and big hugs to you and your LO. I think you handled it perfectly. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/playground-hate#post-2665523 Wed, 14 Dec 2016 19:35:28 +0000 caterw 2665523@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ughhhh I feel terrible for you and your son... And also for the poor little kid who is being raised with such hatred. I wish I could say I'm shocked but I'm not- some people are just awful. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/playground-hate#post-2665518 Wed, 14 Dec 2016 19:22:38 +0000 pachamama 2665518@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Disgusting behavior. And as a 4/ 5 year,old, you know that's coming straight from their racist parents. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/playground-hate#post-2665517 Wed, 14 Dec 2016 19:19:32 +0000 Orchid 2665517@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@peaches1038: @Mrs. Lemon-Lime: @Anagram: I froze for a second at first. I definitely didn't think too much about it but glad I mustered something. Another nearby mom must have overheard him because she gave me a look of support. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/playground-hate#post-2665501 Wed, 14 Dec 2016 18:35:11 +0000 Anagram 2665501@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Orchid: whoa....that is insane! But I'm glad you addressed it. That kid is only 5 and still has hope. The grandpa on the other hand.... </p>