https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 12 May 2026 00:51:03 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/please-rsvp-link/page/2#post-2645982 Tue, 01 Nov 2016 07:31:50 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2645982@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think the mom was lulled into a false sense of security since her daughter's party was attended by four classmates and no one RSVP'd. Perhaps she could have written more about how that party was a nail biter too. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/please-rsvp-link/page/2#post-2645964 Tue, 01 Nov 2016 07:04:48 +0000 ValentineMommy 2645964@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>While I totally sympathize with the child and feel awful for him, why didn't the mom at least attempt to follow up? I get that they're new-ish and didn't have phone numbers....but cmon. There's a thing called the internet. Her son is 9, so surely he at least knows at least some of the last names of the kids he invited from his class? (My 3 year old knows the last names of his friends!) She could have looked up their last names and their town to find at least a few names, I would think. You can find anything on FB nowadays :silly: </p> <p>Anyway, like I said, totally sucks for the kid. But the mom could have tried SOMETHING when no one RSVPed. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/please-rsvp-link/page/2#post-2645956 Tue, 01 Nov 2016 06:35:21 +0000 Mrs. Sketchbook 2645956@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: when my son went to a public funded Montessori in a lower income rural area, we got like no invites for a whole year and a half. When we moved and put LO in a private preschool, the invites started pouring in. In fact that could be why I was so overwhelmed with them. I had been in a situation for a while where it wasn't the school culture to do a class invitation. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/please-rsvp-link/page/2#post-2645817 Mon, 31 Oct 2016 16:27:31 +0000 Mrsbells 2645817@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Sketchbook: I definitely sympathize with the mom and the child here. of course if that were me I would have called people to follow up on the rsvps and not just assume they were coming. LO had a party at age 3 and it was at a party place so i had to follow up on rsvps to get an exact count. Following up also is a good way to find out if people actually got the invite.<br /> On the other hand I do agree that the mom kind of placed to much expectation on a party with brand new friends only a month in to the school year. I would have waited til next year when he knew his classmates so much better and they actually felt invested to go.<br /> I also wanted to add that when LO was 3 we had constant invites to parties and I can grasp the idea of getting abit tired of the hassle but honestly its so worth it because each party is a chance for the kids to bond even more and build great friendships and also they grow so quickly its fun to see them enjoy birthdays when it still is such a big deal to them. I also dont really mind because the parties go by quickly </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/please-rsvp-link/page/2#post-2645804 Mon, 31 Oct 2016 16:01:26 +0000 looch 2645804@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@PawPrints: So far for us, it has been a mix. When we were in private preschool, we received numerous invitations to parties early in the year where none of us knew each other. This year, in public kindergarten, it's November and we haven't received an invite, but I suspect that there are just no parties happening. </p> <p>I am also surprised at how parents really don't bother to make a connection. I am the room mom and we sent out a "welcome" email to 18 parents. Not a single person responded back at all. Nothing, not a hey I am Jane's mom, how can I help. I was kind of surprised, but getting used to it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/please-rsvp-link/page/2#post-2645746 Mon, 31 Oct 2016 14:35:27 +0000 rachiecakes 2645746@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@PawPrints: My son isn't 9, but he's about to turn 5. We don't have any family nearby, we live in the city and most of my friends don't have kids. I have only met one parent at pick up at my son's school because I'm the mom that picks up last. I invited his entire class for his birthday last year, and it was mostly people I'd never met before!<br /> (Double whammy that my son has a Christmas birthday and working around that obstacle).</p> <p>I'm sure it will be different when he's in kindergarten (more school-centered activities) but I don't know many local parents with kids my son's age at all. :( We just don't have that yet and with two working parents it's tough. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/please-rsvp-link/page/2#post-2645707 Mon, 31 Oct 2016 13:56:06 +0000 PawPrints 2645707@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I mean I don't know what life is like parenting a 9-year-old since my kid is only 1.5, but I just can't imagine expecting parents and kids to show up to an event if I hadn't ever personally made a connection with those parents before. If the kid is starting a new school, has no friends from his previous 9 years of life, and has a birthday early in the school year, then mom and dad should be reaching out and making connections to lay the groundwork before sending invitations out cold. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/please-rsvp-link/page/2#post-2645706 Mon, 31 Oct 2016 13:55:22 +0000 Mrs. Sketchbook 2645706@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Truth Bombs: it is probably the luxury of living in a small town that colors my perceptions. Truthfully, my experience is colored by the fact that I live in a town where college friends, close family, and extended family are close by (hour or less). Many of our work acquaintances have children in the same school (just not in our class), so we would see people from the school socially without making any extra effort outside of our regular social activities. I remember one weekend in September we had a birthday party, 40th birthday, baby shower, and fall festival hosted by a friend's philanthropy all scheduled for the same Saturday. All just family and friends who happened to schedule the same day. Spending my Saturday shuttling from one thing to another totally exhausts me. I feel like our weekends are as structured as our weekdays, and that can't be good for my kids. If we did every kid birthday in our family, church, preschool, daycare, neighborhood, adult friend group, it would be never ending. And considering my kid is with his classmates from 8--5, I don't feel like spending more time with school friends is a priority. In my defense I have stopped having yearly parties and I always say no gift because I don't want people to feel obligated to do my kid's birthday every year. This year we did a big party for my younger LO (1st birthday) and a baseball game/tailgate with only close friends for my older one. I also am a teacher and am myself in school. Oddly the school year on all levels seems to work in waves. Inevitability if my students are taking midterms or are having homecoming, my kid has a million field trips and special days scheduled. In the last two weeks we've had two costume days and conferences for my preschooler, and a bake sale for the daycare kid. At some point I gotta shut the door on school related obligations, and if I don't get to the bottom of the preschool paper pile and an invitation gets missed, I just practice self compassion and remind myself of all the good productive things I did that day to keep us all alive. :silly: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/please-rsvp-link/page/2#post-2645700 Mon, 31 Oct 2016 13:51:01 +0000 honeybear 2645700@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>First, I feel awful for this boy. What a crappy situation. </p> <p>Second, @anagram: @PawPrints: , I also noticed how she casually says “homeschooling” is the reason for her child never having had friends his same age. It appears they lived in Portland, OR before they moved to this new town. I do not believe that in a city of over half a million people she couldn’t help her child find a single friend to invite to prior parties. Sure, it takes a little effort to get phone numbers and emails and send messages to organize park trips and get-togethers, but come on, it doesn’t take that much to help your child find other children to hang out with! Like you said, every homeschooling family I know goes out of their way to make sure their children have plenty of friends and opportunities to hang out with people their own age. Her child’s experience is not the norm. She shouldn’t be suggesting that it is. </p> <p>Third, of course it's discourteous and lousy of invitees to not respond to an invitation. I know that some of the invited kids said they'd come, but I feel like with 9 year olds, you still have to check with their parents, since they’re the ones who will be bringing them to the party. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/please-rsvp-link/page/2#post-2645675 Mon, 31 Oct 2016 13:29:56 +0000 catgirl 2645675@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Truth Bombs: this. an invitation is not a summons. If you want to go, awesome. If you don't, cool. Either way it's polite to RSVP. </p> <p>I do think the article is bizarre though. If I hadn't heard back from anyone I would try to find another way to contact them to confirm, and if I couldn't do that I would assume they were not coming. As far as school policies to invite all or none, from the ones I have experience with simply mean if you want to hand out invitations at school all students in a class must be invited. If you mail them or pass them out at another time you don't have to invite everyone.</p> <p>Also, maybe this is crazy but I feel like facebook and other online invitations have hurt how people RSVP. For a long time events allowed you to say "maybe" rather then committing either way. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/please-rsvp-link/page/2#post-2645659 Mon, 31 Oct 2016 13:16:53 +0000 Truth Bombs 2645659@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Sketchbook: I really can't understand being "annoyed" by being invited to birthday parties for your child's classmates. If you can't be bothered to go, then don't, but do RSVP. It takes 30 seconds to RSVP. If there are 20 kids in his class, that's a total of 10minutes in a year. It's really not a big inconvenience. You say you don't know anyone. Well, if you don't go to events like this, you never will know anyone. We invited a number of day care families that we didn't know to my daughter's 1st birthday, they came, and we hit it off. Next month we'll be celebrating her 4th birthday with these same families who have become an incredible support system for my kids, my husband, and me. I thank my lucky stars their reaction to my child's birthday party wasn't annoyance. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/please-rsvp-link/page/2#post-2645645 Mon, 31 Oct 2016 13:09:59 +0000 Littlebit7 2645645@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think the first half of the article was pointless. Other than making me thinks that she parents a special snowflake, it was useless information and took away from the meat of her post: to not RSVP is super rude.<br /> I agree with the other posters; I would have been wise to have had a backup plan when it was 48 hours out and no one replied (did she send follow-up reminders?).<br /> I feel sad for the boy. It was always my fear when I was younger that people wouldn't show up or they'd have a bad time, so I didn't like to have parties. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/please-rsvp-link/page/2#post-2645637 Mon, 31 Oct 2016 13:03:04 +0000 pinkcupcake 2645637@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@PawPrints: oh weird. I was wondering if I was missing something. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/please-rsvp-link/page/2#post-2645622 Mon, 31 Oct 2016 12:53:20 +0000 PawPrints 2645622@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@pinkcupcake: No, I only replied to Anagram, no editing. Weird! Bug? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/please-rsvp-link/page/2#post-2645615 Mon, 31 Oct 2016 12:47:45 +0000 pinkcupcake 2645615@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@PawPrints: received notification that you replied to me but I don't see it - was it edited? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/please-rsvp-link#post-2645613 Mon, 31 Oct 2016 12:46:06 +0000 sunny 2645613@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree people should RSVP as that is the polite thing to do. However, if the parents didn't actually receive the invite (e.g. it was crumpled up at the bottom of the kids bag, lost, etc.) then you can't really fault them. I think the mom should have tried to contact the parents to confirm the attendance. </p> <p>@PawPrints: Agree. Something about this just seems off to me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/please-rsvp-link#post-2645597 Mon, 31 Oct 2016 12:27:57 +0000 PawPrints 2645597@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So much about this blog post is alarming. @Anagram: Yeah the "he's been homeschooled so obviously has not had any friends for NINE YEARS" gets a WTF reaction from me. I think the foundation of the problem here is whatever the parents have been doing, or not doing, that has resulted in this poor kid living this solitary childhood. I have gotten the impression from parents I know who home-school that it's a big priority to get them involved in groups so they can make friends. I really don't think you can go through nine years like that and then enter a new school and expect the existence of the school to just drop a filled-up birthday party into your lap. And then to write a public blog post about it with a million photos of your son's painful experience, along with his name and home address! Everyone at school is going to see this. God how awful.</p> <p>Oh and yeah, people should RSVP. That to me is very much the like 50th thing down the list of what went wrong here. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/please-rsvp-link#post-2645511 Mon, 31 Oct 2016 11:28:13 +0000 808love 2645511@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Just noticed this article is the headliner of Daily Mail UK and had over 12k shares. Eek. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/please-rsvp-link#post-2645462 Mon, 31 Oct 2016 10:41:32 +0000 Freckles 2645462@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>A part of me wonders when the invitations were handed out. 1 week? 2 weeks? Since he's 9 (not 4), wouldn't he have gotten a sense from his friends whether they were coming? I've received invitations the WEEK of the party...like on the Wednesday, with the party being on the Sunday. </p> <p>An invitation from family is an obligation, not an invite from your kid's school friend. While we make an effort to go to most parties/get-togethers, i've declined invites if we were feeling overwhelmed with social activities. Not RSVPing really bothers me. For one of LO's birthday parties, we invited only 2 kids from her daycare and i spoke directly to the parents so that they knew it wasn't an "invite the whole class" type of party. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/please-rsvp-link#post-2645447 Mon, 31 Oct 2016 10:24:18 +0000 avivoca 2645447@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This happened to me last year, except it was people telling me THE DAY OF THE PARTY that they weren't coming or just not showing up. I already hate hosting parties and this made it 10,000 times worse. No more parties until my kids are older. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/please-rsvp-link#post-2645442 Mon, 31 Oct 2016 10:16:12 +0000 travellingbee 2645442@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is literally my worst nightmare. Always was as a kid and now as a mom. I have such anxiety about hosting parties because of this! People, RSVP. It is a minimal amount of effort. We have become such a lazy society... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/please-rsvp-link#post-2645398 Mon, 31 Oct 2016 09:27:53 +0000 Mamaof2 2645398@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes people RSVP -it takes 2 seconds!!</p> <p>Although if no one did RSVP I would have assumed no one was coming and figured out Plan B! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/please-rsvp-link#post-2645374 Mon, 31 Oct 2016 09:00:52 +0000 catlady 2645374@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The article made me sad for the boy but honestly the mom should have known better. I would have prepared for the worst case scenario of no one coming if I had not received a single RSVP. I definitely believe it's rude not to RSVP but I also understand how flooded everyone is with parties, activities, and other commitments these days. My DD only just started preschool and she received something like 5 birthday party invites last month (and that was her own birthday month and we did a small family-only party for her). I did try to RSVP to all of them but I think one of them may have gotten away from me because I just couldn't keep track of them all and some of them came really last minute (like 2 days before the party!). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/please-rsvp-link#post-2645363 Mon, 31 Oct 2016 08:42:07 +0000 snowjewelz 2645363@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I didn't read the article, but I do think it's rude not to RSVP. I get it; we are all busy and have so many obligations and things going on in our lives but I think having had my own wedding, hosted my own parties, etc. I understand how important it is to RSVP timely b/c it really is so stressful to a host to not know. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/please-rsvp-link#post-2645344 Mon, 31 Oct 2016 08:05:47 +0000 rachiecakes 2645344@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@sandy: I always thought no response equaled not attending until the preschool parties :silly: Good thing the teacher gave me a heads up that "so-and-so's mom said they were looking forward to the party"!<br /> Not only did a lot of the kids show up, but siblings, extended family, lol.. It was fine, but an RSVP would've been great!<br /> This year we're doing a small party with close/family friend's only. </p> <p>Also, I always leave my email and phone on the RSVP for those who are uncomfortable on the phone </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/please-rsvp-link#post-2645343 Mon, 31 Oct 2016 08:03:14 +0000 katsupgirl 2645343@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mediagirl: I did think it was weird that she starts off wanting to protect his privacy with a nickname and ends with his first name and a mailing address. </p> <p>I also think it was more about managing expectations. I get that contacting parents was difficult but you make it work. Hustle! Go to the school, join the PTA, a Facebook group. Do something so you have the info. Maybe those invites never made it out of the backpack. She says that's a possibility. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/please-rsvp-link#post-2645331 Mon, 31 Oct 2016 07:48:16 +0000 mediagirl 2645331@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I posted above but wanted to add one more thing, I can't help myself. I stopped reading halfway through the article after I got annoyed with it, but read the rest this morning. And that's when I saw the edit at the bottom of the blog post. I'm super skeptical of the truthfulness of people on the internet and I was going to write this last night but stopped myself. Am I the only one who feels as though this post was written so this lady could get her kid gifts and cards from strangers on the internet? After getting some responses to her post, she ran to the post office to open a PO Box... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/please-rsvp-link#post-2645327 Mon, 31 Oct 2016 07:39:49 +0000 littlebug 2645327@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't expect anyone to feel obligated to attend my parties, but I do expect them to feel obligated to at least respond. It takes a minute. We all have time for that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/please-rsvp-link#post-2645316 Mon, 31 Oct 2016 07:21:12 +0000 Anagram 2645316@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>ah...I've been the person that didn't RSVP before. In fact, just recently. We got an birthday invite from someone I don't know well (but our kids play together), and my husband threw it away accidentally about 2 days in. I don't know the parents at all, have literally never seen them, so I didn't know how to contact them and didn't remember the details of the party--day, time. I kept meaning to ask my nanny to ask their nanny for info, but I'm frazzled and busy and without the invite, I sort of just forgot.</p> <p>So now I read this and feel a bit bad. </p> <p>But about this article in general. A few things are odd to me--he has no friends because he's homeschooled? Aren't there homeschool groups? Church? Neighborhood friends? Sports? Classes for hobbies? My youngest stays home with our nanny, but I still had 6-7 "friends" to invite to her birthday party her age. Some are my adult friends' kids, some are kids in our building. But I know them all because I make myself be sociable and outgoing and meet them.</p> <p>Maybe this family just isn't good at making connections? As the parent, I would have sent home RSVP reminders in the kids' backpacks at school and said "Please RSVP yes or no", or whatever. </p> <p>I also wish the parents would have managed expectations better. My girls both have summer birthdays and a lot of people travel or go to the beach on summer weekends. So I invited their "closest" friends, but knew in advance many wouldn't be able to come. We probably invited 12 and 6 could come and I know sometimes illness crops up last minute, so I kept telling our oldest "a couple" of her friends would come. So it wasn't a disappointing day at all when half our invite list couldn't come--it was a great day! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/please-rsvp-link#post-2645314 Mon, 31 Oct 2016 07:09:16 +0000 Shantuck 2645314@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: I hate when there is no email address for rsvp-ing. I have invitations that I want to rsvp to but I pick them up at 10 pm each night after the kids are in bed and I've finished my work obligations for the day only to realize that I need to wait another day for an appropriate time to call. With an email address, I can just send my rsvp even though it is late. </p>