https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 04 Apr 2026 00:32:57 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/please-school-me-on-nanny-etiquette#post-2347459 Sat, 07 Nov 2015 03:28:51 +0000 FliegepilzHut 2347459@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Meowkers: @travelingnanny: @MrsSRS: Thank you! I will very likely have more questions. :happy: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/please-school-me-on-nanny-etiquette#post-2347458 Sat, 07 Nov 2015 03:18:35 +0000 FliegepilzHut 2347458@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsSRS: That's a great link! Thank you!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/please-school-me-on-nanny-etiquette#post-2347457 Sat, 07 Nov 2015 03:16:21 +0000 lamariniere 2347457@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have worked as a nanny and have hired a nanny, although we just called her the babysitter even though she provided everyday care for my DD. I only had verbal agreements when I worked as a nanny and that is what we did when we hired ours (upon her request). However, our nanny situation lasted only 8 months and the nanny knew we would be switching to daycare at a certain date. If I was hiring a full time nanny for an indefinite period of time, I would have a written agreement and use a nanny payroll service. No experience with nanny cams, but I would disclose it if I were to use one. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/please-school-me-on-nanny-etiquette#post-2347432 Fri, 06 Nov 2015 23:03:32 +0000 macintosh 2347432@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have a nanny. She comes 1.5 days per week, has other part time jobs, and is taking classes online. She also has a family of her own. She wasn't a professional nanny when I hired her, but she had 2 preschoolers and lots of experience. </p> <p>It was agreed when I hired her that she would help with dishes and laundry, as well as make lunch for DH, who is home with them when I'm at work. Since DH is here, I never felt like I needed to check up on her. Sometimes I WAH during her half day, so I see first hand how great she is. </p> <p>My house is always a disaster and she takes care of everything in the kitchen so I don't have to worry about it on the days she is here. She even makes extra formula. She even folds my clothes! She does all this and baby care, rocking to sleep for every nap, and she has time to do a little homework fur her class and chat with DH, too :grin: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/please-school-me-on-nanny-etiquette#post-2347426 Fri, 06 Nov 2015 21:51:11 +0000 Ms.Badger 2347426@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have had a nanny for my 1 baby for over 3 months. I refuse to feel bad or apologize for any decisions we make that are best for our family, so no self-consciousness on our part. </p> <p>We only have a verbal contract, but my DH and my schedules are very flexible and we could WFH while we found a replacement, she was also very clear in the beginning that she was looking for a long time gig, no something short term. She had nannied for one other family and worked at a gym's daycare before she started working for my family. I do not have a nanny cam. I was upfront at the beginning that I would pay on the books and there was no other option. But my nanny wants to be paid weekly, and that's fine with me.</p> <p>We asked during the interview process if she'd pick up around the house when the baby was napping and she said yes and she's been living up to it. When J has good naps, I come home to a clean kitchen, if J doesn't nap well, it can still be pretty messy, including his toys out etc. I feel like it's nice to start the week organized for her sake but it devolves throughout the week and she deals.</p> <p>I feel like your relationship with your nanny is up to the nanny and you and your partner. I always felt like her being a nanny was her being an employee but with a job that's very special and that's how our relationship is. I feel like she should be helping around the house if J sleeps 3 of her 8 working hours, I don't get 3 hour breaks at work. But I absolutely think that her taking 2-3 30 min breaks for herself is reasonable. I pay her for weeks that we "take off" and try to let her know ahead of time. She has 6 paid days off (2 of her weeks) to use as she sees fit. If she needs to come late or leave early every once and awhile, no problem. I chat with her and we're friendly. But I also need to feel comfortable correctly things that I don't like (and let go of things i don't love but that don't really matter).<br /> Well, there's my novel, feel free to ask questions </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/please-school-me-on-nanny-etiquette#post-2347208 Fri, 06 Nov 2015 15:49:00 +0000 mrs.shinerbock 2347208@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We are in a nanny share, but the other family will be dropping out at the end of the year and since LO2 is due in Jan, we decided to just keep the nanny ourselves. We've been very happy with our nanny, though sometimes I do feel weird telling people we have a nanny. </p> <p>Having a written contract is very important, IMO. Nothing fancy, our nanny actually wrote it using some of her previous ones, and we all signed it and made copies for everyone. It provides some protection for both of you. We do not have a nanny cam and I really wouldn't want one.</p> <p>We don't ask our nanny to do anything other than childcare and the associated cleaning, but she often runs and empties the dishwasher, wipes down the kitchen and does laundry, which I really appreciate. I feel a little bit of pressure to keep the kitchen cleaner than I normally would, but mainly because I know she will end up doing any dishes that are left in the sink and I don't want her to feel like she has to. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/please-school-me-on-nanny-etiquette#post-2347187 Fri, 06 Nov 2015 15:25:30 +0000 abmamma 2347187@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We have a nanny share and love it. It's a pretty typical situation around here so I don't feel weird at all (although I do sometimes feel awkard about the term "nanny"). I will say that when we first started, I did feel like the house had to be cleaner than average but after almost 3 years, I do not. The only thing I do differently is keep the sink dish-free. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/please-school-me-on-nanny-etiquette#post-2347140 Fri, 06 Nov 2015 14:58:06 +0000 mrsrain 2347140@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@FliegepilzHut: no, just draw up your contract (you can probably get a template online), go over with nanny and both sign and date. Make sure you address things like nanny's screen time, reimbursable expenses (such as snacks or gas-- less likely if you have a baby), discipline, etc. Not sure about the implications for cash pay (my jobs were always over the table).</p> <p>Also, regarding messy/disorganized, I wouldn't worry! Just be up front and let nanny know what your expectations are for her with regards to picking up toys, etc. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/please-school-me-on-nanny-etiquette#post-2347139 Fri, 06 Nov 2015 14:54:49 +0000 LBee 2347139@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@FliegepilzHut: We have a nanny 3 days a week and I really had to get over thinking she was going to judge me. I apologized at first and then just told her that we try to keep the house in the best order possible, but that we work full time and when we are home we are trying to focus on LO. She was very nice and pointed out that if someone came to her house every week it wouldn't be in pristine condition either. She also said, very sweetly, that she was around to take stress OFF our family, not add the burden of feeling like I need to clean before she arrives.</p> <p>Feel free to wall me with any questions. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/please-school-me-on-nanny-etiquette#post-2347138 Fri, 06 Nov 2015 14:51:55 +0000 Mrs. Sunshine 2347138@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@FliegepilzHut: both families I worked for were average middle class folks!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/please-school-me-on-nanny-etiquette#post-2347137 Fri, 06 Nov 2015 14:50:27 +0000 FliegepilzHut 2347137@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrsrain: Thanks! No need to get lawyers involved to draw up a legally binding contract, right? Also, does having a proper contract make running a cash economy more difficult (if that were desired)?</p> <p>@Mrs. Sunshine: Very helpful! And I'm glad you used the word "judge." I probably just need to get over it...but do you perceive that some/most nannies would be willing to work for a somewhat messy and disorganized (busy! professional! with a cute baby!) middle-class couple? Not exactly Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous here... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/please-school-me-on-nanny-etiquette#post-2347134 Fri, 06 Nov 2015 14:48:29 +0000 MrsSRS 2347134@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was a nanny for years. Now I'm a SAHM/part time WOHM. I'd be happy to answer any questions. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/please-school-me-on-nanny-etiquette#post-2347122 Fri, 06 Nov 2015 14:41:27 +0000 hummusgirl 2347122@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is a good introduction to all things nannies: <a href="http://www.parkslopeparents.com/Nanny-101/hiring-a-babysitter-part-1-preparation.html" rel="nofollow">http://www.parkslopeparents.com/Nanny-101/hiring-a-babysitter-part-1-preparation.html</a> </p> <p>We did a nanny share from 6 mos to almost 2 yrs, when we moved cross-country. We couldn't have been happier - our nanny was an amazing person with tons of energy and love, and I felt completely confident in her abilities. It was really hard to leave and we still think of her often. We asked if she'd be open to a nanny cam, which she was, but we ended up not getting one. We trusted her and they spent most of their time outside anyway. We paid on the books through Breedlove (I think the name has changed). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/please-school-me-on-nanny-etiquette#post-2347102 Fri, 06 Nov 2015 14:32:03 +0000 travelingnanny 2347102@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>As a nanny I will not work for a family that has cameras. Please make sure you tell your nanny if you plan to use them. I require to be paid with a nanny payroll company (myhomepay) therefore my taxes are taken care of and I get paid 1.5 for anything over 40 hours. I wash the cloth diapers (my only chore required when I started) but I tidy up after the girls. Your situation is a little different and I would still require to be paid during the off weeks because its not like I could get another job. I couldn't afford to go without pay like that. Feel free to ask me more questions. My bosses work very long hours so I understand that aspect. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/please-school-me-on-nanny-etiquette#post-2347076 Fri, 06 Nov 2015 14:16:23 +0000 Mrs. Sunshine 2347076@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Another former nanny here! A verbal agreement was always adequate for us. I was paid cash. I was expected to care for and clean up after LO (s) as well as laundry, dishes, occasional mopping or vacuuming but if I didn't get to it that day it was never a big deal. No one felt the need to keep their home super neat because if me and I didn't judge them. I pitched in as much as I could yo compensate for what they didnt/couldn't get to but it was never a big deal. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/please-school-me-on-nanny-etiquette#post-2347072 Fri, 06 Nov 2015 14:13:30 +0000 BKCaribBaby 2347072@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Whoa..that's poll! :)</p> <p>Nannies are pretty common where I am, so I don't feel as self-conscious about it as I perhaps would if I lived in a place where it was not as common. Another option is a nanny share, although you do need to be on the same page to some degree with the family you share childcare services. Now that LO is in a morning program a few times per week, our nanny has been taken on more roles like some of our laundry (she's always been responsible for LO's) and some light grocery shopping (she's always picked up things for LO from time to time). She has actually asked to do some of these things. </p> <p>For us, having a nanny has been helpful since my first job post-LO involved travel (I've since left that role), and DH has a high intensity job, which also requires travel. We also have no local family help, so she really serves that role for us. We have been satisfied with our nanny. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/please-school-me-on-nanny-etiquette#post-2347065 Fri, 06 Nov 2015 14:08:15 +0000 Greentea 2347065@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I used to be a nanny and worked for several families. Trust is huge, so I never was on nanny cam and I am not sure I would work for someone who put me on one. Definitely disclose if you do. I never had a written contract. I resented being given lots of chores, but always tried to do as much as I could. I loved giving all of my attention to the kids though. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/please-school-me-on-nanny-etiquette#post-2347058 Fri, 06 Nov 2015 14:04:37 +0000 Meowkers 2347058@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I currently have a nanny I am very satisfied with. If you have any specific questions, I'm happy to answer them (just post something to my wall.) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/please-school-me-on-nanny-etiquette#post-2347052 Fri, 06 Nov 2015 14:00:00 +0000 mrsrain 2347052@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am a former nanny. A written contract is essential to protect both you and your nanny. As a nanny I didn't mind the occasional "other task", but it was usually me who initiated it (I.e. Putting away laundry, loading the dishwasher). If you use a nanny-cam I would hope you would disclose that to your nanny. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/please-school-me-on-nanny-etiquette#post-2347039 Fri, 06 Nov 2015 13:48:47 +0000 FliegepilzHut 2347039@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We are getting down to the wire with my return to work and still hoping to hire a nanny to accomodate my crazy (70+ hour work week, followed by week(s) off) schedule. Unfortunately, until fairly recently, I hadn't made up my mind about the costs/benefits...and what I don't know about nannies/nannying is a lot.</p> <p>Please educate (and humor!) me! </p>