https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 10 Apr 2026 15:46:51 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/political-correctness-training-at-college-campuses#post-2617794 Thu, 08 Sep 2016 11:02:54 +0000 shabang 2617794@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Awareness is important.</p> <p>As someone who grew up in a place with no diversity, I now cringe at some of my assumptions and missteps through the years that were just plain ignorance.</p> <p>This effort reminds me of a seminar in college put on by the sexual violence prevention group that gave participants the opportunity to list an assortment of behaviors along a spectrum from helpful to harmful. Obviously sex without explicit consent while drinking prompted lots of discussion, but one of the most interesting behaviors included was telling a boy that he throws a ball like a girl. Many didn't see that as harmful in the least or even related to the topic until they had to consider it in depth (it's a common statement, but what does it really say?) and rank it on the spectrum. That was eye-opening. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/political-correctness-training-at-college-campuses#post-2617739 Thu, 08 Sep 2016 09:48:04 +0000 looch 2617739@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: Agreed, and I also think it has a place in the corporate world. The world is a big place, it's hard for me to imagine a scenario where there isn't a diverse population of people trying to further a common goal. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/political-correctness-training-at-college-campuses#post-2617667 Thu, 08 Sep 2016 08:35:23 +0000 BrandNewMom 2617667@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Sketchbook: 1-I'm a little in love with you and your explanatory skills<br /> 2- "You're a credit to your race" made me physically nauseous. Please tell me people don't actually say that. Lie to me if you have to. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/political-correctness-training-at-college-campuses#post-2617602 Thu, 08 Sep 2016 07:48:17 +0000 Maysprout 2617602@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrsjazz: I think that's a good example of how it's hard to override colloquialisms in especially casual or off the cuff conversation (perhaps for a diversity officer she should have thought more but it was answering a question and not part of her prepared lecture. I don't think Cubans usually view themselves as Hispanic or Latino either - so she was just speaking from both their experiences). But that's part of the issue is that the US is such a melting pot that there's such a variety of experiences and preferences. </p> <p>@mrbee: I think that's a great example. . ill refer to DH as my spouse or partner often when meeting people and talking. But I met someone at a party and we were talking about all the trouble he had encountered in marrying his husband. At one point I referred to his husband as his partner - just out of habit -and he looked so hurt and said 'you mean my husband'. I completely understood where he was coming from bc he'd had to fight so hard to have a husband and at that point I knew he was married to a man. I guess that's what bothered me about this article, it seemed to me to close off avenues of conversation by making assumptions of others intent while the only way to really understand what terms people prefer is through being able to have open conversations. </p> <p>Even her example of using the term freshman, I think it's a perfectly reasonable college exercise to examine what biases people have towards students in that category. But that doesn't mean in every context it's offensively meant, that's the point where it's closing doors on effective communication. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/political-correctness-training-at-college-campuses#post-2617598 Thu, 08 Sep 2016 07:45:13 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2617598@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>A seminar on diversity and micro-aggression is a great use of college resources and time. I'm not sure if the instructor in the article is the best person to facilitate it given the examples. My SIL goes to a small liberal arts college and her RA sent letters prior to the start of school explaining inclusive pronoun language. I think our hyper sensitivity or awareness of those that feel marginalized is a good thing. </p> <p>Heck, in the article I felt slighted when the group identified as benefiting from a seminar like this was "students from Wisconsin." The sentence clearly is referring to white students, but as a non-white person I don't ever just get to be a student. </p> <p>We don't discuss enough what is hurtful/ harmful language and clearly we need to. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/political-correctness-training-at-college-campuses#post-2617573 Thu, 08 Sep 2016 07:02:12 +0000 tlcbaby 2617573@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm not trying to make light of this, but it keeps making me think of funnies... </p> [attach=1980/16/od6pg6.600x336.image.jpeg] https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/political-correctness-training-at-college-campuses#post-2617557 Thu, 08 Sep 2016 06:17:04 +0000 Adira 2617557@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@BlueWolverine: @Mrs. Sketchbook: You ladies explained this all much better than I could! Thank you! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/political-correctness-training-at-college-campuses#post-2617532 Wed, 07 Sep 2016 23:33:28 +0000 mrbee 2617532@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrsjazz: that jumped out at me too! Pretty imprecise language for a chief diversity officer!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/political-correctness-training-at-college-campuses#post-2617528 Wed, 07 Sep 2016 23:16:59 +0000 mrsjazz 2617528@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I use "you guys" and "dudes" a lot. Though I've trained myself now to only say it with friends/acquaintances. I'd never say that in a room with people I didn't know. </p> <p>Microaggressions are real. I experience them, my husband experiences them. And because I experience them it made me take a look at my language because I don't ever want to make someone feel the way I've felt.</p> <p>This is slightly off-topic but this section made me pause -- I get what she was trying to say but there's a difference between race and nationality -- one can be both Cuban and Black. Perhaps she was talking about being Black American?</p> <p>-----<br /> “I’ll give you an example,” Ms. Marlowe said. “I went to a conference. I was talking to this man. I thought he was black. I was talking about diversity and social justice.”</p> <p>“He said, ‘I’m Cuban,’” Ms. Marlowe told the crowd. “I assumed he was black because he was the same skin complexion as me, and the same type of hair.” </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/political-correctness-training-at-college-campuses#post-2617525 Wed, 07 Sep 2016 22:55:40 +0000 hummusgirl 2617525@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Wow lots to think about. Some of the examples above like the video of the Asian woman seem to me like straight up racist behavior, not microaggressions. </p> <p>I still think that when a college has a specific session to teach that certain normal topics are verboten, it could cause more problems than it solves. Are people supposed to go around always thinking, "Don't talk about math around an Asian person. Don't talk about basketball to a black person. Don't talk about money to a Jew. Don't talk about tequila to a Latino." There's no discussion of context or tone or intent or nuance, just the implication that if you say these things you're kind of a racist monster. And the arbiter of what is or isn't racist is a university administrator who doesn't have firsthand experience being members of all these groups. </p> <p>For someone like me, a rule-follower who doesn't ever want to offend, hearing something like this in college probably would have made me afraid to talk to anyone about anything other than the weather, ever. So I do think there's the potential for this stuff to have a negative/chilling effect on open discourse. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/political-correctness-training-at-college-campuses#post-2617508 Wed, 07 Sep 2016 21:55:24 +0000 Mrs. Sketchbook 2617508@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mama Bird: I guess I'm failing to understand the difference between what you're saying and what is called "political correctness." If we can reach consensus that, to use an example from the essay, a white girl singing the n word while listening to an album is offensive to others, then why is it not ok to just hold white girls accountable for not using the n word even if they're just singing along to the radio? In your post you said, "if you hear something offensive you speak up." Ok, so people are speaking up...in the form of an awareness training. Is the fact that this is institutionalized the problem? Would it be better for a pedestrian to run up to a white girl singing the n word parked at a red light and say, "hey, that's really offensive, cut it out immediately" rather than for this same girl to sit in a seminar where a professional tells her, "many people find this hypothetical behavior offensive, so avoid it." That puts an awful lot of pressure on individuals to speak up against ignorance. We as adults, educators, and parents could avoid a lot of painful miscommunication if we tell our kids up front to be aware of the power of their words.</p> <p> Also you mentioned that we should be offended by war, poverty, etc. Most of the microaggressions cited in the article are directly related to those things: “Of course he’ll get tenure, even though he hasn’t published much — he’s black.”; “What are you? You are so interesting looking.”; When a nonwhite faculty member is mistaken for a service worker; “You are a credit to your race.” All of those examples are microaggressions because the statements refuse to acknowledge barriers that are the result of poverty, racism, slavery, abuse, corruption, etc. etc. </p> <p>I teach both high school and college aged students and the one thing I try to get across to them is that they are responsible for their message. You can't get the words back after you say them. Anyone is free to interpret your words once you say them, so select them carefully to reduce the chance that you are misinterpreted. I personally am not offended by much, but I do judge people based on how they speak and do write people off who don't use inclusive language because it belies a lack of education. </p> <p>The thing I find the most bizarre about this article is that in my opinion, kids are so much better about this than adults. Really the kids don't need it as much as the adults do. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/political-correctness-training-at-college-campuses#post-2617426 Wed, 07 Sep 2016 18:41:17 +0000 Boogs 2617426@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mama Bird: I couldn't agree more. More often than not you kinda need to decide that there is more good than bad in the world. If it's not out of malice and someone apologizes, the end. Now if it is, that's another story, of course. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/political-correctness-training-at-college-campuses#post-2617412 Wed, 07 Sep 2016 17:54:26 +0000 Mama Bird 2617412@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Boogs: I think that was exactly the right response! I think if you find something wrong or offensive, you speak up. If you accidentally offend someone, you apologize. Trying to eliminate any words that may possibly hurt someone's feelings... kind of impossible because in theory someone can be offended by anything. I've got some crazy stories about innocent things I said (or that were said to me) that caused hurt feelings.</p> <p>And the PC movement came from a good and honorable place, it was once used to fight real prejudice and discrimination. But this thing with hunting down unintended slights is such a great wasted effort. We should be "offended" by war, and poverty, and abuse, and corruption, not microaggression. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/political-correctness-training-at-college-campuses#post-2617408 Wed, 07 Sep 2016 17:46:01 +0000 tlcbaby 2617408@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@BlueWolverine: I agree--I just think some of the examples used in the article (like the freshmen thing) go a little too far. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/political-correctness-training-at-college-campuses#post-2617407 Wed, 07 Sep 2016 17:44:36 +0000 Mrs. Sketchbook 2617407@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@BlueWolverine: I agree completely about merry Christmas....I think I just used that as an example because it is so relatable. Ultimately you can say whatever you want, but once you've said it, the words take on a life of their own. If you choose non inclusive language you reap what you sow. Privilege is not having to reap what you sow but our culture is so diverse now that those privileges are eroding and non inclusive language is increasingly risky for business or just personal communication. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/political-correctness-training-at-college-campuses#post-2617383 Wed, 07 Sep 2016 17:06:45 +0000 Boogs 2617383@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>One summer, when I still worked my coworkers and I were spread out at various work sites that weren't our usual spots. Towards the end of that summer, I had a supervisor tell me I couldn't go help do work at my actual site because they only "wanted the boys there to do the heavy lifting." I was personally offended an upset because 1) I didn't get to participate because I don't have a penis and 2) She implied and assumed I am incapable of moving things around because I'm a girl (nevermind several of us girls had in fact some the same thing a few times before) and 3) I didn't get to participate in the reorganization of "my space." </p> <p>I spoke up, in private, to the person who offended me. In some ways I wish I had the conversation with her and our boss to make sure things were properly documented. I did e-mail our boss about the issue, because I wanted things in writing, at a later time. That wasn't much help, and to this day I'm still a bit frustrated with the whole situation. A week later I was sent to work at another site and never got to return to my original work site. It was like I did something wrong in the situation, and to this day I don't think I did and don't think I was being overly sensitive.</p> <p>Are there some situations where people might be overly sensitive? Maybe. I'm one that uses phrases like "you guys" and always in positive ways like "you guys are such great friends!" Would that offend someone? I hope not, but after my situation, I try to be more thoughtful of others feelings just because you never know. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/political-correctness-training-at-college-campuses#post-2617375 Wed, 07 Sep 2016 16:32:21 +0000 mrbee 2617375@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Not a fan of the word "microaggression," but I do strive to be inclusive in how I speak and act.</p> <p>I remember the first time I met two guys at a conference and we went out to coffee later... and to explain something, I used an example that assumed they were both straight. Later on, I found out that one of the guys was gay. He hadn't said anything at the time, but I still felt bad about it. It really changed how I speak, especially since I lived in a big city where sexual orientation was more diverse than I had experienced before. Now I assume that everyone may be LGBTQ and use more inclusive phrases instead of saying "girlfriend" or "boyfriend."</p> <p>Sometimes it does feel like overkill, but I definitely don't want people to feel excluded or alienated in conversation. So I strive to be inclusive, even though it's different from how I spoke growing up. One upside: I've been helping my mom at her resort lately, and I can tell that guests appreciate more inclusive language - especially since there are so so many LGBTQ travelers. That response has really reinforced for me that inclusive language is worth the effort. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/political-correctness-training-at-college-campuses#post-2617374 Wed, 07 Sep 2016 16:32:19 +0000 BlueWolverine 2617374@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@tlcbaby: Offended is the wrong word. It's not that people are offended when microaggressions are used; it is that they are marginalized. Turned into "other." I'm offended by Kim Kardiashian's fame. I'm marginalized when my behavior is called bossy or bitchy, but the same behavior from a man is competent leadership.</p> <p>Also, the Merry Christmas thing seems like a red herring to me. Happy to hear anyone say Merry Christmas, Happy Hannukah, Eid Mubarak. It seems to me that far more people are "offended" by Happy Holidays than Merry Christmas, which I find pretty amusing. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/political-correctness-training-at-college-campuses#post-2617373 Wed, 07 Sep 2016 16:32:05 +0000 catomd00 2617373@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@BlueWolverine: +1 I'll never understand the hatred against "political correctness" and attempting to be inclusive and sensitive to others feelings. There is no downside, so why wouldn't you want to strive for it?! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/political-correctness-training-at-college-campuses#post-2617371 Wed, 07 Sep 2016 16:25:37 +0000 Maysprout 2617371@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@BlueWolverine: Im not saying they're not real or shouldn't be examined but that doesn't mean every comment on that topic should be justified as offensive. I was frustrated by people's assumptions on my age/sex and job but some of the people I met again and made comments had met me as a student and just didn't think I'd graduated yet or time stood still. They meant nothing about age and sex not being typical of that job.<br /> Similarly DH has an atypical name, he was born in the states though and also usually just says the state when people ask him - and a lot of people who meet him ask him. But people are curious and honestly it does spark up interesting conversations. He definately has gotten some good laughs out of some people's questions but not everyone has gotten to travel or even experience a variety of cultures. His entire family lives overseas at this point and when we travel I def get a lot of naive questions from his extended family or just questions based off of TV/ movie watching. It's a conversation though, I don't have to agree with their perception if I find it untrue. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/political-correctness-training-at-college-campuses#post-2617366 Wed, 07 Sep 2016 16:12:44 +0000 Mrs. Sketchbook 2617366@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm perfectly happy with people wishing me Merry Christmas. I am not offended by that. I do choose to interpret that as being more about them than it is about having a real exchange with me ("I want to talk about Christmas... something I value, that I am excited about...more than I really care to know this person to whom I am speaking). For example when I was in sales I sent holiday cards instead of Christmas cards because I was truly intending the card as a way to reach out to my customers and would not want to alienate them. I think people who choose to use non inclusive language put themselves in the position of being taken less seriously or having their attempts at connection thwarted. That's the risk you take when you choose not to use inclusive language in our very diverse culture. It honestly seems like its own punishment. Perhaps colleges don't want their students to go out into the business world without at least being exposed to this. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/political-correctness-training-at-college-campuses#post-2617361 Wed, 07 Sep 2016 16:04:12 +0000 tlcbaby 2617361@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@BlueWolverine: But where does it stop? Can we really not call people freshmen anymore? That, to me, seems different than saying, "Hey, you're Asian, so come help me with my math homework." People can be offended by literally anything, but that doesn't mean the thing shouldn't be done.</p> <p>I think it's more important to teach people to be open and understanding so they can learn from other people's experiences than to teach people to never offend another person. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/political-correctness-training-at-college-campuses#post-2617360 Wed, 07 Sep 2016 15:51:54 +0000 BlueWolverine 2617360@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>But then, there's this:</p> <p><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DWynJkN5HbQ" rel="nofollow">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DWynJkN5HbQ</a> </p> <p>Microaggressions are real. Telling people that they're being "too sensitive" is part of the problem. The point of microaggressions is that people often don't realize they're saying it - their motivation may not be to marginalize, but it does. </p> <p>This railing against political correctness is so misplaced. Be open to the idea that you may not be doing everything in an inclusive way. Maybe it's time to think about how it might feel to be "the other" as opposed to getting so up in arms about being called out when people are marginalized, whether on purpose or not. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/political-correctness-training-at-college-campuses#post-2617347 Wed, 07 Sep 2016 15:15:38 +0000 Maysprout 2617347@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Adira: why does the offended person necessarily need accommodated? Their offense could be completely misconstruing the intent and motivation of the speaker. It seems just as offensive to make rash judgements based on a snippet of speech. I'm not saying we shouldn't examine our own speech but that doesn't translate to these phrases are wrong in all contexts or that the speaker may have some other reason for asking. If you accept an invitation to someone's celebration - whether it's birthday, Christmas, Diwali, etc. it seems appropriate to wish them well for that specific occasion. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/political-correctness-training-at-college-campuses#post-2617335 Wed, 07 Sep 2016 15:00:10 +0000 Adira 2617335@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@kiddosc: But Merry Christmas isn't as inclusive as Happy Holidays.</p> <p>I think intent is important, but I think it's possible to offend without meaning to, just as @mand4: said. Just because you don't mean to offend someone, doesn't mean you didn't. And it also doesn't mean the person who's offended doesn't have valid feelings on the subject. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/political-correctness-training-at-college-campuses#post-2617334 Wed, 07 Sep 2016 14:54:15 +0000 kiddosc 2617334@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Adira: But someone is wishing you good will when they say Merry Christmas and you're OK with that being taken as offensive. Playing devil's advocate here. </p> <p>I think it's completely possible to take politeness too far. I think it's important to factor in someone's intention when determining if what they said is actually offensive. Someone being offended by "you guys" is being offended for the sake of being offended. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/political-correctness-training-at-college-campuses#post-2617325 Wed, 07 Sep 2016 14:39:16 +0000 Adira 2617325@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mamaof2: I guess for me, political correctness is just a way of saying "Let's be polite to everyone and not offend people." I don't think you can really take that too far?</p> <p>Of course, some people choose to be offended by the most ridiculous things. I have an Aunt who's very offended by people saying "Happy Holidays" to her instead of "Merry Christmas." I don't really get how someone wishing you good will can be offensive?? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/political-correctness-training-at-college-campuses#post-2617322 Wed, 07 Sep 2016 14:33:40 +0000 tlcbaby 2617322@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is what I think of when people say "I was offended"... :)</p> <p><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ceS_jkKjIgo" rel="nofollow">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ceS_jkKjIgo</a></p> <p>@hummusgirl: I agree with your point that it is more important to be open to hearing other points of view and learning to be empathetic/understanding than trying to teach people to never say something that might "offend" another person.</p> <p>ETA - I call pretty much everyone, including my husband and son, "dude" and if someone was ever offended by it, I would probably just not talk to them much anymore. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/political-correctness-training-at-college-campuses#post-2617321 Wed, 07 Sep 2016 14:32:47 +0000 Maysprout 2617321@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think college is a fine time to examine predjudice and how speech comes off. </p> <p>The examples in the article though seem to be doing a lot of judging about people's motivation, which seems weird when they're trying to combat judgemental behavior. </p> <p>@Adira: Maybe Google can answer where 'you guys' came from - I donno. I know in many languages you refer to a mixed group or group of unknown people with male pronouns and conjugation. Is it sexist? Maybe, Is it something worth changing? Maybe. But it certainly doesn't mean everyone who speaks french, italian, spanish is sexist or being microaggressive. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/political-correctness-training-at-college-campuses#post-2617317 Wed, 07 Sep 2016 14:25:12 +0000 Mamaof2 2617317@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Adira: probably - I would end up being smart ass and saying "You guys and the one girl there"</p> <p>I think its getting a little ridiculous with all the political correctness these days </p>