https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 03 May 2026 19:19:45 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/poop-trainingkindergarten#post-2922540 Tue, 16 Feb 2021 09:42:33 +0000 ShootingStar 2922540@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@charm55: Thank you, that's great!</p> <p>Thanks to everyone else who has commented. We have hired a potty training consultant and I'm still debating getting a nanny. We both work from home and having DD here plus another person will not do good things to my mental state. But I am less and less happy with the school, and no other centers will likely take her. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/poop-trainingkindergarten#post-2922509 Sat, 13 Feb 2021 17:54:23 +0000 charm55 2922509@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don’t have a ton to add, but I am a Kindergarten teacher and read “Raj’s Rule” to my class, it’s about a little boy who is nervous to go to the bathroom at school. It really helped some of my more anxious students who have this same issue. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/poop-trainingkindergarten#post-2922500 Sat, 13 Feb 2021 14:41:14 +0000 Baby Boy Mom 2922500@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>You have a lot of advice, so I just wanted to chime in with one more thing I didn't see mentioned: one of the absolute best remedies for constipation is sauerkraut! You need to buy the kind that is "raw"- it's pretty common now- Costco has it, TJ, Whole foods. If LO needs to adjust to the flavor, start with just a little bit and build up. The key is in the specific type of probiotics in it, that helps food get digested correctly. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/poop-trainingkindergarten#post-2922455 Wed, 10 Feb 2021 11:12:37 +0000 nwm 2922455@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ShootingStar: completely understand why there are a lot of factors making this a tough decision, but based on what you've written i would want to get her out of that daycare ASAP. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/poop-trainingkindergarten#post-2922452 Wed, 10 Feb 2021 09:11:33 +0000 KT326 2922452@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ShootingStar: That's really tough. I'm shocked your daycare said they haven't dealt with that before! I'm always seeing bags of clothes hanging on hooks at our preschool because kids have had accidents. It happens and they should be able to deal with it. I'm so sorry this is so stressful! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/poop-trainingkindergarten#post-2922450 Wed, 10 Feb 2021 08:35:45 +0000 cake2017 2922450@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ShootingStar: I just saw this but if DD is saying they are yelling at her it’s probably true and that’s not okay! We had a similar issue with a teacher at DS school during the poop training time and I was not happy how she was handling things. Let’s just say a phone call was made and he was removed from that class! If the school isn’t supportive and not able to handle different hurtles then I wouldn’t waste my time with them. Just my opinion. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/poop-trainingkindergarten#post-2922449 Wed, 10 Feb 2021 08:31:23 +0000 cake2017 2922449@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I went through the poop training earlier this year with DS (3.5)and it was stressful. </p> <p>One thing I noticed that helped us was we backed off for a bit and let him lead. He was pooping in his pull up so we had him sit on the potty with it only. </p> <p>We also had him see our poop after we used the bathroom and told him it’s normal and safe. </p> <p>I’m wondering if she’s not pooping because she’s constipated and uncomfortable so it’s fearful for her? </p> <p>Does she have a high fiber diet and a lot of water and diluted juices so it’s soft?</p> <p>Reading books about it and Daniel the Tiger has a few episodes referenced popping.</p> <p>I also have DS go poop before bed and preschool. Therefore he’s at home and I can clean him. Maybe a routine would help- like we poop before bed and after lunch or whatever may work for you? </p> <p>I would definitely keep giving lots of fresh fruits and water and not chat about it a lot!</p> <p>Also maybe a reward for when she does go?! so she feels like she’s accomplished something bc and it is okay?! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/poop-trainingkindergarten#post-2922446 Tue, 09 Feb 2021 21:19:49 +0000 Pollywog 2922446@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so sorry you're going through this. I don't like how your daycare is handling this. In your shoes, i would pull her from the daycare because it is clear this isn't working. </p> <p>Then I'd see if you could take several days off if work or split schedule with your husband to just reduce the stress around the bathroom. Kind of like a long weekend. Then start using small amounts of mineral oil to help her go and gain confidence. Then bring in a nanny to help keep her in a low stress environment. I know it's hard having a nanny there while you're working. But after she gains confidence then the nanny can start taking outings and such.</p> <p>Then after she's clearly had success, I'd look at day camp. Especially half day programs. She'll be ready for school, i promise.</p> <p>For what it is worth, my kids don't poop at school. My oldest would sit on the pot to squeeze it out before school and my youngest goes like clockwork when he gets home. I'm a huge advocate for a pool schedule </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/poop-trainingkindergarten#post-2922444 Tue, 09 Feb 2021 13:46:53 +0000 ShootingStar 2922444@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@KT326: Thanks, those are really good ideas about talking to the school. We've tried miralax and the problem is that it actually makes it too soft - she doesn't feel it coming and if it's liquid-y it just comes out. We did get to a good consistency with only fiber supplements, but she has to be willing to let it out, if she holds because she's scared, she still gets backed up. </p> <p>Our daycare keeps saying things like, "we've never had a child with a problem like this." And to be honest, part of it is behavioral. She had like 4+ pee accidents yesterday, partly because she was backed up and partly because she just sat there and refused to go multiple times during the day. So they're frustrated with her. And I think she can feel the frustration and even if the teacher isn't actually yelling, whatever she's saying is making her feel like she's in trouble. But she insists she likes her teachers and doesn't want new ones. I'm at loss about what the right choice is. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/poop-trainingkindergarten#post-2922442 Tue, 09 Feb 2021 12:55:50 +0000 agold 2922442@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ShootingStar: I'm so sorry and now I'm so sad I read about the hard time your daughter is having at school. At some point, I imagine this becomes less a potty training issue and then more a medical issue. If its that way, then the school maybe can't discriminate against you and kick you out. Just a thought. But I hope you can find another school and pull your girl asap and give your business some place else more kind. When my girls were babies and had poop issues, I discovered doterra digestzen oil. I don't sell it and don't really use oils, but I really like that one for stomach issues. I'm not sure if it works or if its just a placebo effect, but I think it helps my kids and even me! Good luck with whatever you do. This is so hard and I'm so sorry you are dealing with it. Also, there are potty training experts you can maybe consult with via facetime or whatever. Again, a little expense, but might be worth a try. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/poop-trainingkindergarten#post-2922439 Tue, 09 Feb 2021 12:19:23 +0000 KT326 2922439@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ShootingStar: We have been dealing with constipation with my almost 9 year old for years. </p> <p>I just want to pop in and say that when he started elementary school we talked to the vice principal, the nurse and his teacher to let them know what we were dealing with stomach issues and that occasionally he has accidents. We were able to keep a couple sets of spare clothes (one with the nurse and one in his backpack) along with plastic bags so that if he did have an accident he could clean himself up and change. </p> <p>Now we are on miralax every day no matter what, and he has a solid routine of going after dinner. We tried weaning off miralax but it is just not worth it. His pediatrician said he can be on in indefinitely so I'm just going with it. </p> <p>I also want to say that it is kind of crappy that daycare isn't helpful at all. Ours was amazing. They knew about his constipation and would actually try to help get him on the toilet after lunch. It didn't always work out but they never complained about it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/poop-trainingkindergarten#post-2922438 Tue, 09 Feb 2021 12:11:58 +0000 Chuckles 2922438@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ShootingStar: I'm so sorry that you're dealing with this. I have no specific advice. I just wanted to say that it sounds really crappy (no pun intended :wink: ) that the school isn't being more understanding and that your daughter doesn't feel good about her time there. One would hope that they would be more accommodating of what is a legit medical issue that you guys are really on top of figuring out. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/poop-trainingkindergarten#post-2922437 Tue, 09 Feb 2021 11:47:48 +0000 ShootingStar 2922437@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks everyone. We've done a lot of work with medicines and cleanout routines and suppositories. We were having a lot of problems with the amount of medicine we were on before because she was pooping 3-4 times a day and unable to control it. And she was leaking mineral oil, which is normal with the dose she was on, but makes it impossible to wear undies when that's happening. So we scaled it WAY back. </p> <p>Last night we had luck giving her a smaller dose of mineral oil and then a few minutes later she took herself to poop on the potty. I agree, that if we can get her on a schedule where she's going at home, the peeing isn't as much of an issue and by the time school starts I think she'll be fine for that.</p> <p>We can afford a nanny, but I hate to make more changes on her, and it would be harder for DH and I to work at home. We are permanent work from home (our companies are based in MA and we moved to FL last year) so there's no escaping to an office, even when covid is less of an issue.</p> <p>But pretty soon we may not have a choice. I had a long talk with one of the directors yesterday and I think we're close to getting kicked out. On top of that, my daughter keeps saying the teacher yells at her, and the school insists the teacher is kind and patient. Four year olds aren't the most reliable witnesses so I don't know what to think. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/poop-trainingkindergarten#post-2922433 Tue, 09 Feb 2021 10:35:08 +0000 Mrs. Starfish 2922433@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm really sorry, this sounds so hard. I read the responses above and you've gotten great advice. I'll just add that I completely agree with what BHBEE said about after-dinner routine. My youngest daughter is always on the verge of constipation and we've had a lot of success with an after-dinner routine of sitting on the potty with a book or my phone (she plays pbs games on it). We also regularly use Miralax. </p> <p>Also, just so you don't start to get down on yourself for anything here - with twin-ish kids, I'm regularly amazed by how one kid has a big issue with something developmentally and the other doesn't. It's frustrating at times, but in situations like this, it's helpful because I can clearly see that I'm not doing anything "wrong". Some kids just have constipation - my other daughter follows the same diet and activities and she actually has diarrhea pretty regularly.... so I guess I'm not winning in either direction here!! :silly: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/poop-trainingkindergarten#post-2922423 Mon, 08 Feb 2021 16:50:31 +0000 agold 2922423@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Is this something you can work on when you are home from work and over the weekends? Do dresses with nothing under and stay home until she figures it out. I'd still sign her up for kindergarten and try to get her ready by then. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/poop-trainingkindergarten#post-2922420 Mon, 08 Feb 2021 15:31:43 +0000 erinbaderin 2922420@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This isn’t a lot of help but you’re not alone - my almost 5 year old has had constipation issues since he was 1. He’s currently on a daily dose of Restoralax and things are better but after having been home for two months (I’m in Ontario and today was the first day back to school since Christmas, we’ve been virtual through January) today I picked him up and his teachers said he was complaining that his stomach hurt and they thought he had to poop but he wouldn’t go. It’s so hard! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/poop-trainingkindergarten#post-2922419 Mon, 08 Feb 2021 15:00:38 +0000 Bluemasonjar 2922419@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My DS is 5.5 now and has only started pooping regularly in the last 6 months. He NEVER poops at school so we didn't have the same situation there but at home he would hold it and have pee accidents. </p> <p>We had been using fiber supplements but our pediatrician had us add Miralax to get him going regularly. Even if it was in his pants. We tried so many ways to encourage him to use the potty including leaving him alone so as not to add pressure. He finally decided to do it on his own. We still reward him for going with a small candy or by letting him watch a show to keep it a positive experience. </p> <p>I hate that her current teachers are not being supportive but don't think a different school would help. A nanny is not a bad option if you can afford it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/poop-trainingkindergarten#post-2922417 Mon, 08 Feb 2021 14:53:15 +0000 bhbee 2922417@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I’m so sorry. My oldest had so much trouble with constipation related issues and now my youngest, who is also an August baby, is working through them and I’m dreading getting her trained by Sept for 3 year old preschool! (And strangely middle kid has never had a problem at all)</p> <p>For my oldest, we got the constipation mostly worked out when we finally got her pee trained around 3.5. But she would not poop in the potty until, I believe, just after 5. She never went at school (but she did part time preschool which was easier than all day) and asked for a pull-up at home until then. I think that helped her respond to the urge when it came and she had basically trained her body not to go during school times. We were lucky she is January so we had a little extra time before K. But then one day she did just kind of decided she would do it. She’s in third grade now and I still don’t think she’s ever gone at school!</p> <p>One option that might be helpful is to try for an after-dinner routine poop. Find the right dose of miralax that will keep it soft but not too messy. Have her sit after dinner for 20m or so while she hears a book or watches a show or something. If she could clean her system out at home, she might not need to go at school and it would take the pressure off. I know it’s impossible to completely control this, but you might be able to create the right setup at least. </p> <p>In Texas you can definitely sign up for Kinder and then still decide to hold back. Or not go to K at all. Not sure if that applies where you live but might be a way to buy yourself some time - signup for Kinder (here that’s in Feb/March for public), research some bridge K programs or private half day K if those might help (just having a shorter day until things improve). Big hugs because these are such hard problems to solve. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/poop-trainingkindergarten#post-2922415 Mon, 08 Feb 2021 14:21:24 +0000 MrsSRS 2922415@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Because this can have long term health impact, if you can afford a nanny I'd do it. Plan for kindergarten this fall, let her have time at home to get fully cleaned out and get on a solid poop schedule, and then do a summer camp to practice school again with hopefully a more positive connotation. There are children who go to kindergarten having never been in care before without any pre-k curriculum and they catch up. Also, refusing to poop at school is super common and normal. If the constipation can get fully dealt with and she has a regular pooping schedule at home even if she's unwilling to go at school it may not be a problem long-term. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/poop-trainingkindergarten#post-2922410 Mon, 08 Feb 2021 11:18:15 +0000 JennyPenny 2922410@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so sorry, that sounds really stressful. My first thought is to recommend checking what you actually have to do by when for Kindergarten. I know in some states you can skip K and go straight to 1st grade the next year so taking a year off doesn't mean staying a year behind. I also know that in my state you can register for K at any time so even if you waited until just before the start of the year to decide, it'd be fine. It might take a lot of pressure off you knowing for sure what the deadlines would be.</p> <p>My other thought is that I just listened to a podcast where they recommended this author: <a href="https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/076277360X" rel="nofollow">https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/076277360X</a> Since you said you've been to a doctor, the ideas in this book might be redundant, but she raved about it so I thought I'd pass it along. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/poop-trainingkindergarten#post-2922409 Mon, 08 Feb 2021 11:02:31 +0000 ShootingStar 2922409@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't post much lately, but I could use some thoughts on an issue. My DD is 4 (5 in August) and should be starting kindergarten this fall, the cut off is 5 by 9/1. </p> <p>The problem is she's still not fully potty trained, especially for poop. We moved last spring and started her in a new daycare over the fall. She was doing okay-ish with potty training when she was home with us during the spring and part of the summer (thanks pandemic) but in retrospect she was constipated, causing her to poop tiny amounts several times a day.</p> <p>She did okay at first starting in the new preschool, but then she got moved up to the pre-k room and her constipation got really bad. She refused to poop for days and starting having a ton of pee accidents (a consequence of too much poop pushing on her bladder). </p> <p>We have had her see a doctor about the constipation since last fall and she's doing much better, but she still goes through phases of poop holding. And she's really inconsistent with using the potty for poop. She's really sensitive and I don't think the teachers in her current classroom are a good fit. I think they've gotten upset with her for her poop accidents and the kids have made fun of her, and now she's scared to poop at school and pretty much refuses, which either leads to accidents or more constipation. She's maybe 50/50 at home for using the potty vs. having an accident.</p> <p>So we've come to the point where I'm starting to get nervous about kindergarten. Part of me says another 6 months may be enough time, the other part of me says we've been doing this for years and still not done. We are tempted to get a nanny who's willing to work on potty training her, but of course that's way more expensive and difficult when we both work at home. We could put her in another school for pre-k, but IDK that anyone would want to take her, given the issues. And even though it's not a great fit for her, I don't have a lot of confidence that changing it up will make her any less scared of the new environment (which is what exacerbated the problems last fall). We could hold her back, but I hate to that. She's so smart I feel like it would be a disservice to her. And then if we hold her back, I don't know that I want to keep sending her to the same school, and I know she's going to be scared at first going to a new situation and we may have the same holding problems regardless.</p> <p>So I'm kind of stuck. DH thinks we should hire a nanny and have her home for the rest of the school year and work on poop training and hope that it's enough to send her to daycamp with her brother in June. But I'm not sure I'm up for all that, and I think we have to decide about kindergarten sooner than June. </p>