https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 04 May 2026 01:21:12 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/poor-concentrationeasily-distracted-falling-behind-at-school#post-2807418 Sat, 03 Mar 2018 10:17:19 +0000 gotkimchi 2807418@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Cherrybee: any update on this? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/poor-concentrationeasily-distracted-falling-behind-at-school#post-2805591 Thu, 22 Feb 2018 10:53:11 +0000 Mamaof2 2805591@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Cherrybee: likes others have mentioned this could be totally normal - I talked with DD's ped about possible ADD and he said he would discuss it at the end of 1st grade - he thinks she will grow out of it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/poor-concentrationeasily-distracted-falling-behind-at-school#post-2805587 Thu, 22 Feb 2018 10:44:25 +0000 Mrs. Carrot 2805587@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@tlynne: Thank you! This is what our pre-K teacher said too when I expressed concern about my daughter (same behavior as OP is describing). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/poor-concentrationeasily-distracted-falling-behind-at-school#post-2805261 Tue, 20 Feb 2018 17:04:04 +0000 tlynne 2805261@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ok...so the reason ADHD cannot and should never be diagnosed before age 7 is because this is NORMAL behavior for kids age 4-5. It is not normal to be able to write complete sentences at age 4. My eldest son is highly gifted (working several years ahead of peers academically) and he didn't write sentences at age 4. </p> <p>Attention span can be learned and developed. That is the focus of a lot of different preschool methods (think Montessori/Waldorf). Literally thousands of children were carefully observed to create these methods, and all of the researchers agree that the brain develops the capacity to read and write between the ages of 4 and 7, but earlier reading ability does not necessarily equate to intelligence...and it can be detrimental to force reading and writing too early.</p> <p>Off of soapbox now...sry </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/poor-concentrationeasily-distracted-falling-behind-at-school#post-2805202 Tue, 20 Feb 2018 13:35:02 +0000 Chuckles 2805202@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My son is 4.5 and also like this. He can hardly get through going to the bathroom because he's constantly singing, turning things into imaginary machines (even toilet paper), whatever. To be honest, I won't be surprised if ADHD is in his future, given his genetics, but I'm not worried about it yet. I was also an early reader and S, who is a bright kid, definitely isn't ready to start reading yet.<br /> It sounds to be like your LO's school or teacher has unrealistic expectations and is unable to be flexible to fit your daughter's needs. We actually just changed pre-K programs partially because of this. My son's previous school was having the kids do handwriting worksheets and structured teacher-directed journal entries. He's a very curious kid who loves learning, and he really wasn't liking school. I was worried that his love of learning was going to be crushed under the worksheets and pressure to sit still and do teacher directed work. (Which I don't even think is entirely age-appropriate) It wasn't the only reason we switched, but I'm much happier to have him explore reading, writing, and learning math concepts through play right now.<br /> Having said that, I am working with him on learning to stay focused on the task at hand. I've been telling him, "train your brain. Let's finish this one activity first, then we can do XYZ." </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/poor-concentrationeasily-distracted-falling-behind-at-school#post-2805126 Tue, 20 Feb 2018 10:15:10 +0000 Mrs. Carrot 2805126@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Lion: Thank you. My heart hurts when I read things like this. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/poor-concentrationeasily-distracted-falling-behind-at-school#post-2805124 Tue, 20 Feb 2018 10:12:39 +0000 Mrs. Lion 2805124@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Carrot: 👏👏👏 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/poor-concentrationeasily-distracted-falling-behind-at-school#post-2805122 Tue, 20 Feb 2018 10:09:25 +0000 Mrs. Carrot 2805122@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My daughter is going to be 5 on June 1. She sounds exactly like E, and I admit, I worry about whether she'll be OK once she moves to kindergarten in September. That said, like others have said, those expectations for her age are insane to me. Our pre-k tested all the kids in October and will again in April, and our teacher did note that my kid lost interest about 1/3 of the way into the test (about 50 tasks), but she also noted that it's way too early for us to worry about attention issues at this age because a lot of kids will grow out of them once they enter a more school-like setting. Kiddo also did very well for what's expected. She can make letters, but there's no way she can make a word without guidance, much less a sentence. She can recognize letters on a page and is starting to sound words out, but she's nowhere near reading yet. There's endless science that shows that 6-7 is a much more appropriate age for these things, so I refuse to worry about her pace, despite having been an early reader/writer myself. Frankly I'm horrified that what we're expecting of kids. We're much more likely to set them up for failure this way than for success (/personal diatribe) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/poor-concentrationeasily-distracted-falling-behind-at-school#post-2805098 Tue, 20 Feb 2018 06:10:04 +0000 hellobeeboston 2805098@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My 5 year old sounds pretty similar. Terrible at playing by himself, talks constantly. Always wants an adult with him. Poor “focus”... we’ve been trying to work on it with him in various ways in anticipation for K next fall.</p> <p>We got a time timer which has helped quite a bit. It’s a visual countdown so he can see how much time he has left. We started small and work our way up. Started with quiet time play by himself for 20 min. We also have workbooks and little pages for him to work on. We started with 5 minutes to sit and focus on it. We’re only up to about 10 min. But he definitely will focus more. Agree with many others about the young age. But I do think his focus could be better so we are trying this approach! Good luck. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/poor-concentrationeasily-distracted-falling-behind-at-school#post-2805081 Mon, 19 Feb 2018 21:51:27 +0000 Anagram 2805081@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Cherrybee: just catching up on this thread. I agree with PPs that some of these expectations are not appropriate. My oldest is the same age as your girl, and she's the 2nd youngest in her class this year, and I have never been told she has concentration issues--in fact, her teachers always tell me she's very advanced. However, there is NO WAY IN HELL she would be independently writing s full sentence with adjectives by the end of the year. She's a beginner reader (like she can read the easiest easy readers) and an emergent writer where she will either try to write words and misspell a lot or she will ask me how to spell everything, but she's still mastering basic skills like spacing between words being bigger than spacing between letters in a word, understand periods, understanding capitals. She does not know what an adjective is.</p> <p>I don't know how the system in the U.K. works--can you have her evaluated for ADHD? ADD? I like to be proactive, so I would probably want an evaluation, even if they just tell me she's totally typical for her age. Can you pay for a private eval? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/poor-concentrationeasily-distracted-falling-behind-at-school#post-2804938 Mon, 19 Feb 2018 03:06:37 +0000 Kemma 2804938@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Honestly, she sounds like a normal kid with an educator who wants her to fit in a “box” rather than to work with her to find the best way for her to learn!</p> <p>E isn’t stupid, her teacher just needs to harness her energy and creativity in a way that makes her want to learn! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/poor-concentrationeasily-distracted-falling-behind-at-school#post-2804924 Sun, 18 Feb 2018 18:48:51 +0000 808love 2804924@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@birdofafeather: I thought this was kindergarten. Pre-K, no. I wouldn't want any writing besides maybe letter formation. Gluing letters to make words would be ok though. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/poor-concentrationeasily-distracted-falling-behind-at-school#post-2804923 Sun, 18 Feb 2018 18:35:31 +0000 birdofafeather 2804923@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@808love: her daughter is only 4! My daughter is 5 in preK and these are so far beyond expectations of anything her teachers have ever said to us for preschool! She just got valentines and there were maybe two kids that I could read the names they wrote. No way they’re reading or writing sentences in a few months. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/poor-concentrationeasily-distracted-falling-behind-at-school#post-2804922 Sun, 18 Feb 2018 18:24:08 +0000 ShootingStar 2804922@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DS is just a few months younger than your daughter, he turns 5 in November. And those expectations are just so beyond what he’s capable of at this point. He’s in pre-k at daycare but we haven’t pushed him to write at all. And his attention span is very low, except when watching tv. </p> <p>He misses the kindergarten cut-off and I used to be upset about it and now I think it’s a good thing. A year ago he used to only be able to sit for 5 minutes or less in circle time. Now he can do 15 minutes. I think with the extra year he’ll have the time to get better at attention and focus. </p> <p>I think you got a lot of really good advice. Just know that your DD is pretty typical. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/poor-concentrationeasily-distracted-falling-behind-at-school#post-2804921 Sun, 18 Feb 2018 18:14:25 +0000 808love 2804921@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>As a long-time educator and 1st grade parent, I think those expectations are realistic. In fact, most kids will be doing it by the end of the year so it is to your child's benefit to work with her where she is at, sooner than later. Your job as a parent can be to fight it and advocate for what you want or to be a supporter of education and your child's teacher's recommendation and figure out how to make it happen. Or find a middle ground. As for your original question, how to support her focus, you could try doing a trade off. And play along to give her 'energy' to focus and work with her short attention span. So do a 'play' with the words, then write a few words. Alternate back and forth. Then later you build up endurance/stamina with slowly increasing the work time/play time.<br /> One thing that worked for my daughter in kinder was I said, pretend you are in class and you are my student. Then I just said teacher'y things to keep her motivated, sprinkling in names of her classmates and any tidbits I knew about her environment to keep it like a 'playful' on task time. Keep expectations slow and low, encouraging and above all, be patient. You are her first and main teacher. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/poor-concentrationeasily-distracted-falling-behind-at-school#post-2804870 Sun, 18 Feb 2018 10:35:51 +0000 honeybear 2804870@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Honestly, I'd tell the teacher that you won't be doing homework any longer and either spend that time reading to her or outdoors, preferably someplace quiet (not the playground, or at least not all the time). If she concentrates on making up her own stories, then it doesn't sound like she can't concentrate/focus, just that she doesn't when it's something she's not particularly interested in doing. So give her a reason to do whatever you need her to do (like put on your shoes so we can go to the park). But the homework...I'd just say no. That's a stupid goal for a child who isn't even 5. The teacher's hands are probably tied regarding what is taught because of standards, etc., so be nice about it, but I doubt that she's required to give homework. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/poor-concentrationeasily-distracted-falling-behind-at-school#post-2804839 Sat, 17 Feb 2018 21:37:52 +0000 MamaCate 2804839@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Foodnerd81: so I don’t work in education but I do early childhood mental health. A lot of parent child relationship issues due to cps involvement, childhood trauma etc etc. So I feel like I am not the best judge of what is “typical” because I already see huge differences between development in my kids at home and the kids I see at work. My big girl is 6 and in kindergarten and I still tell her to put on socks and shoes before we go to school. But not broken down like I outlined. At some point I should probably stop but I am saying it to the 2 year old too so it is working for now.</p> <p>With that caveat, I would say the goal in shaping behavior like this “put your shoes on” example is to move toward increasing independence. So after you narrate for a while, raise the bar by asking the child to provide the next step. “After we get our shoes, what comes next?” With lots of praise and positive feedback. And then when they have that, prompt 2 steps in a row etc etc.</p> <p>At my house my kids always like to talk about what we are doing ahead of time, so we can build in some of this by listing the routine out together.</p> <p>Does that help at all? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/poor-concentrationeasily-distracted-falling-behind-at-school#post-2804824 Sat, 17 Feb 2018 19:14:10 +0000 Foodnerd81 2804824@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MamaCate: since you mentioned your work, I’m assuming you have more experience than me in this. For your example about shoes, how long would you expect to have to do that with a 4.5 year old? I get really frustrated with my daughter because I feel like she should be able to complete “put on your shoes” pretty easily- they are by the door so it’s not like she has to go find them, it’s literally walking over and putting them on. But... obviously getting annoyed about it isn’t making t better. So how long will it take to narrate every step? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/poor-concentrationeasily-distracted-falling-behind-at-school#post-2804822 Sat, 17 Feb 2018 18:54:30 +0000 Mrs. Lion 2804822@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Is she in kindergarten a year early? Or in Preschool/Pre-K?</p> <p>That expectation is insane to me. Completely insane. Watchful waiting would be my opinion...and consider another school if this is one you chose. ETA: if this is the expectation in Pre-K I would be terrified to see the expectations going on up. A lot of research has shown that pushing academics this hard when kids aren't ready really backfires in the long run. If you are going to stay, I would personally have some serious conversations with the teachers/admin. This worries me a lot as a teacher and as a parent of a bright but easily distracted kid. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/poor-concentrationeasily-distracted-falling-behind-at-school#post-2804807 Sat, 17 Feb 2018 16:33:18 +0000 looch 2804807@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would do nothing for now. I would just monitor and see what happens in the year between turning 5 and 6. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/poor-concentrationeasily-distracted-falling-behind-at-school#post-2804806 Sat, 17 Feb 2018 16:24:06 +0000 MamaCate 2804806@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Cherrybee: i agree that the expectation level is a little high for her age, but it sounds like you share the teacher’s concern about her difficulty with focusing. I see kids like this sometimes in my work and some of the things that we try to address are helping structure the environment and requests so that they work for the child.</p> <p>For example, “put on your shoes” may be too complex of a task for her to maintain attention so you could try breaking it down and having her do one step at a time, like:<br /> -go find your shoes.<br /> -bring them to the chair<br /> -put the shoes next to the chair<br /> -sit down<br /> -put one shoe on<br /> -put the other shoe on</p> <p>and with sitting to do the letters you were working on, you could try getting everything set before you start, asking her what she needs, helping her list the items and then step by step going through them.</p> <p>Concentration is a skill like anything else. It comes more easily to some than others but almost everyone can improve with practice. I would be cautious about pursuing any kind of formal diagnosis at this young age due to the range in “typical performance”. You may need to re-evaluate this in the future if she isn’t able to progress with your support. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/poor-concentrationeasily-distracted-falling-behind-at-school#post-2804796 Sat, 17 Feb 2018 15:53:53 +0000 JoyfulKiwi 2804796@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I whole-heartedly agree with @Charm54: and @Foodnerd81: Those expectations do not sound appropriate for her age, regardless of what her teachers say the other kids are doing. (A full sentence with adjectives by age 5 is definitely not the developmental norm!)<br /> Also, it sounds like she *may* have an issue with attention, but also she may just be a creative, free-thinking extrovert who will need to develop concentration as she grows. Being distracted by ideas during a story or not focused on putting on her shoes sounds well within a typical range for her age. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/poor-concentrationeasily-distracted-falling-behind-at-school#post-2804790 Sat, 17 Feb 2018 15:09:02 +0000 Finfan 2804790@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Possibly look at having her evaluated for ADHD? A LO I know is much the same and that’s what she wound up being diagnosed with. It’s enabled her to get more help at school and with social skills as well. Anyway, worth considering and taking a look at the symptoms in girls which are often different from boys. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/poor-concentrationeasily-distracted-falling-behind-at-school#post-2804789 Sat, 17 Feb 2018 14:47:37 +0000 kpc324 2804789@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I second Charms54, especially the board games/interactive book</p> <p>For what it’s worth, I feel like my my 4.5 year old has pretty good attention and concentration, but she would definitely not be able to attend to those reading/writing activities for long, if at all. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/poor-concentrationeasily-distracted-falling-behind-at-school#post-2804776 Sat, 17 Feb 2018 12:31:14 +0000 gotkimchi 2804776@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My newly turned 4yo is like this for “homework” she goes to speech therapy so we like to work on her words and do flash cards and stuff and it’s exactly as you describe. She doesn’t have some of the other stuff you describe but I do think those expectations are unrealistic for her age. And just because other kids can do it, does not negate the fact that it’s still not an appropriate expectation.</p> <p>Our speech therapist said this too - it can be hard if you have a class full of kids speaking 2 years above what’s developmentally normal, but we still need to focus on what’s appropriate. It seems there might be some of that happening here </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/poor-concentrationeasily-distracted-falling-behind-at-school#post-2804774 Sat, 17 Feb 2018 11:54:27 +0000 Foodnerd81 2804774@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Cherrybee: wow. That sounds like a lot for any kid to be doing at 5! In c’s class this year most of the kid turned 5 right at the beginning of the year (so are nearly a full year older than her). Only one of them can read and she couldn’t write a full sentence I don’t think. Her school is definitely more play based than academic which is better for c for sure. </p> <p>I just really hate that kids their age are being labeled as problems because they can’t sit still all day. Which is why I’m reluctantly holding c for the year. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/poor-concentrationeasily-distracted-falling-behind-at-school#post-2804773 Sat, 17 Feb 2018 11:53:57 +0000 Charm54 2804773@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree with @Foodnerd81: ... I am a K-2 literacy teacher and those types of activities aren't ones that we would expect our Pre-K students to do.</p> <p>I would work on attention building in other ways.... playing short board games, card games, etc. Reading interactive books together would be a great way to build her stamina while also allowing her to be a part of the process and keep it fun. My favourite interactive books are :</p> <p>-Press Here, Mix it Up, Let's Play, Say Zoop - Herve Tullet<br /> -Touch the magic tree, Touch the brightest star, Plant the tiny seed - Susan Davis<br /> -Don't Push the Button, Don't Touch This Book - Bill Cotter </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/poor-concentrationeasily-distracted-falling-behind-at-school#post-2804769 Sat, 17 Feb 2018 11:00:47 +0000 Cherrybee 2804769@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Foodnerd81: yeah, she gets loads of exercise. She's has two states - allll the energy or crying her eyes out exhausted. There's no in between! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/poor-concentrationeasily-distracted-falling-behind-at-school#post-2804765 Sat, 17 Feb 2018 10:45:20 +0000 Cherrybee 2804765@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Foodnerd81: I said to the teacher - rather defensively - that she isn't 5 until the last day of the school year, so perhaps it's unrealistic to expect her to achieve the level they're insisting she achieves (to write a full sentence, with advectives, independently by July) and she said that a lot of the children are young this year, E isn't the youngest, but she's lagging further behind than she would expect. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/poor-concentrationeasily-distracted-falling-behind-at-school#post-2804763 Sat, 17 Feb 2018 10:35:37 +0000 Foodnerd81 2804763@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>You know C is the same age and has a lot of the same challenges- not so much about the independent play because she can and does do that sometimes. But I have to say, it seems like sitting and writing and working on reading is pretty advanced and maybe unrealistic for 4 year olds. C will happily write her letters when she is interested in it, but if she doesn’t want to, I don’t push it. BUT she is definitely a little immature for her age and we have just decided to do a year of junior kindergarten before sending her to public kindergarten. I feel like this is an example of things that little kids do need to do in order to succeed in school, but it’s just developmentally inappropriate for this age. Obviously this is something I’ve thought a lot about and am really frustrated about! </p> <p>As for the little things like getting distracted while putting on her shoes- that is such a problem for us and it drives me insane as we are trying to get out of the house. I don’t know what to do and I’m hoping someone else has some advice.</p> <p>Also- does she get enough active time at school? Like playground, running around? I know that’s a big challenge for us- it’s winter and hard for everyone to get enough running around being free and active time, but it’s so much harder for c to behave and sit or focus when she doesn’t get it. I’ve tried signing her up for extra activities like swimming and ballet and gymnastics and I can’t say it’s helped a lot. </p>