https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 29 Apr 2026 19:42:17 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/positive-transition-from-pregnancy-to-new-parenthood#post-809633 Sun, 26 May 2013 00:14:23 +0000 Ree723 809633@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Before having LO, I had heard nothing but horror stories as well - how sleep deprived I'd be, how stressed and overwhelmed I'd feel, I'd never have time to myself etc. I'm happy to say though, that not a single one of those things came true for me. DH and I were super relaxed parents and we fortunately had a pretty chilled out baby. Even in the early weeks before she was STTN, I never felt exhausted or massively sleep deprived - tired, sure, but not that overwhelming feeling of exhaustion. When LO napped, I took my coffee outside and sat in the sun drinking it whilst reading a book. DH and I continued going out for dinner most Friday evenings, just popping our sleeping LO in her car seat on the floor. We continued going to Saturday markets or out for brunch and took lots of day trips on the weekend. We had an extremely positive transition to parenthood - I loved the newborn days and can't wait to experience them again with the next baby!</p> <p>I will say that now at 11 months, it is much more difficult to do the things I want to do or enjoy some time on my own. LO doesn't nap as frequently and is much more demanding of my time, not to mention being much more tied to a schedule. Don't get me wrong, this stage is awesome, but it was a lot easier to get out and about when she was a newborn!</p> <p>Also, I can only speak from BF'ing experience, but if you choose to BF, it makes getting out and about with a newborn so easy - nothing to prepare, no schedules to stick to, no need to have access to bottle warmers or water etc. </p> <p>It is definitely possible, and likely, that you will have a positive transition to parenthood! I firmly believe that the attitude a parent takes, is reflected in the way a baby behaves. Not always obviously, but I think a relaxed mummy and daddy equals a relaxed, happy baby, barring extenuating circumstances (reflux, colic, etc). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/positive-transition-from-pregnancy-to-new-parenthood#post-809614 Sat, 25 May 2013 23:18:51 +0000 Mrs. Fox 809614@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it's very possible to have a positive transition. I'm not very good staying at home so for most of my maternity leave I would wear the boy and do whatever fun activity i wanted to do. I even walked Ciclavia (a bi-annual LA activity where they shut down 10 miles of city streets and 100,000 walk, run and ride their bikes) with the boy when he was a month old!<br /> I would highly recommend not scheduling your child into the ground. Remember every schedule that you create for your baby, you're also creating for yourself. At the very beginning I let E sleep in the moby wrap while did my thing and we were both happy. We made some adjustments: we went out a lot during the day rather than the night, watched more movies at home instead of out, and because I needed my culture fix and couldn't get to the theater or go see a concert, I started going to tons of art galleries. Things are a little harder now that E is running around and getting into everything but those first few months were pretty sweet.<br /> (But I seriously doubt you'll be reading much. I was a voracious reader before the boy arrived. When he showed up, I used his nap times to sleep or shower or do house work or read a new parenting blog. I basically stopped reading books for months) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/positive-transition-from-pregnancy-to-new-parenthood#post-809545 Sat, 25 May 2013 21:49:01 +0000 photojane 809545@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have absolutely loved parenthood. Sadie is 3.5 months and we've already been to the beach a couple times, on a mini-vacation, and to a carnival. We go shopping all the time, still go out to eat regularly, and take lots of walks. We can't be spontaneous anymore, and we have to plan our outings around her needs, but we still do pretty much everything we did pre-baby. She just makes all of our adventures even more fun! :)</p> <p>I do think it's important to learn to go with the flow. Unless you have an extremely high needs baby, life is so much easier when you stop trying to overplan &amp; overanalyze. Flexibility is key! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/positive-transition-from-pregnancy-to-new-parenthood#post-809539 Sat, 25 May 2013 21:44:10 +0000 shopaholic 809539@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I feel like the horror stories are worse than what I experienced. I think around Week 6, I started trying to get some semblance of a normal life back. But of course things are really different. I think it all "comes in time." </p> <p>Also, before baby came, I thought I would still want to go out, do all sorts of things eventually. But now, even the thought of leaving baby with the grandparents overnight or for a few nights, it's been REALLY hard for me to find a situation where I'd think it'd be worth it. </p> <p>Even though there were major life changes, I think it hasn't been a tough transition. Preparing for the worst probably made the transition easier! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/positive-transition-from-pregnancy-to-new-parenthood#post-809537 Sat, 25 May 2013 21:40:52 +0000 yoursilverlining 809537@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>LO wasn't an easy newborn, and the change from childfree to parenthood was sort of overwhelming at times (ok, a lot of the time!), but we still got out and went to lunch together several times a week starting when LO was just a couple weeks old and lived a normal life and had time for ourselves. </p> <p>Even if it is hard; I think it's really important that you maintain normalcy in your life, and that is totally doable, even if parenthood isn't a breeze at first :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/positive-transition-from-pregnancy-to-new-parenthood#post-809528 Sat, 25 May 2013 21:36:52 +0000 blackbird 809528@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Totally depends on the baby. Mine loves being outside and being worn, I've managed to do some sewing, read a couple books, and finish grad school while home with her. She also sleeps 6 hour stretches now and was doing 3-4 when we brought her home, so I never hit severe sleep deprivation. I just slept in until 9 with her for a bit. The first month was the toughest, just adjusting and schedules and pumping and yadda yadda. I was so content to just watch tv with her and keep the house clean and cook. Now I'm bored and we get out and about a lot more at 7 weeks. I have a book on my kindle I can't wait to read. I still play in a softball league once a week. I work out. Etc</p> <p>2 weeks PP, I got out for a girls night. I haven't had to turn any invitations down that I wanted to attend. All of the things you've mentioned, I could and would do with my baby. So sometimes, you get lucky. Just know it could go either way </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/positive-transition-from-pregnancy-to-new-parenthood#post-809521 Sat, 25 May 2013 21:24:55 +0000 MrsStar 809521@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>While pregnant I sort of built up an idea of what parenthood would be like in my mind and it was mostly negative. Luckily I had a very easy newborn (with easy birth/recovery) so after she was born my life was mostly the same, I just had a sidekick with me at all times, and I was breastfeeding. The transition was really easy for me. The toughest thing was the lack of sleep - but I've never coped well on limited sleep. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/positive-transition-from-pregnancy-to-new-parenthood#post-809472 Sat, 25 May 2013 20:55:48 +0000 Weagle 809472@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Our first several months were fantastic! LO was an easy newborn, and it was easy for us to be out and about. We hit our rough patch at 6.5-7 months. It was the middle of winter and I think I was dealing with some seasonal depression. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/positive-transition-from-pregnancy-to-new-parenthood#post-809310 Sat, 25 May 2013 18:54:01 +0000 Smurfette 809310@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@HLK208: She will usually fall asleep in the Ktan but it was getting there that was the problem. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/positive-transition-from-pregnancy-to-new-parenthood#post-809290 Sat, 25 May 2013 18:29:15 +0000 78h2o 809290@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My husband struggles with depression and he has been pretty much unable to help me. That being said, MY personal transition to motherhood has been very easy. Honestly, I feel (and have always felt) that I was meant to be a mom. It doesn't hurt that I have a lot of experience with babies and my LO is pretty easy going. But even with all my husband's drama and having almost zero help, it has been an incredible time and I've loved (almost) every minute of it. Even the few days that she was incredibly fussy and I was sleep deprived, I was SO grateful for her, and I made a conscious effort not to wish away any moment. I know she will be all grown up before I realize it and I know there are so many people out there who struggle with infertility who would give anything for this experience. Even when it's been hard, I've never taken it for granted and I think that's helped me. Also, when I've needed a break, I've figured out how to get one - I've taken her to the daycare at my gym, plopped her in her crib (if she was crying nonstop &amp; I was going crazy, just so I could step outside for a minute and take a breath), or even put her in front of the tv for 10 minutes (gasp).</p> <p>I was able to study for a 4-hr licensing exam during the time that she was 0-3 months... I took the exam when she was 12 weeks and passed with flying colors (although I actually didn't get much sleep the night before)!</p> <p>Also, even though I had to get up to nurse the baby in the night, in the beginning I was still sleeping better than I was when I was pregnant and I physically felt better. by the time she was 8 weeks, she'd sleep 7 hrs at a time. Since I wasn't working then, we could both go to bed around 11 and get up at 6. It actually got harder when I went back to work (and she went to daycare) and she had to start going to bed at 7:30, moving her wake up to 2:30 or 3:30am. </p> <p>Anyway, I think it's hard to predict how it's going to be, but I definitely think there's a good chance it will be totally fine! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/positive-transition-from-pregnancy-to-new-parenthood#post-809266 Sat, 25 May 2013 17:56:48 +0000 googly-eyes 809266@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If you have a good support system and a decently happy baby I don't think it's THAT bad as people can make it out to be. But you realistically don't know whether you will have complications, what kind of baby you'll have etc. if you can let go of control, you'll be just fine! Just don't be disappointed if its not how you expect and just go with it for those first few months. By 4-5 months afterward, I took my carseat hating fussy naps only in the swing newborn turned laid back baby everywhere. :) Now I look back on the hard times those first few months like "who cares?" cos it's over, life is mine again, and I love love love my little girl. So even as someone who did have a rough go in the beginning, I think it can be enjoyable for many people in the beginning, especially if there isn't a toddler involved! Our days just the three of us are peaceful and awesome! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/positive-transition-from-pregnancy-to-new-parenthood#post-809255 Sat, 25 May 2013 17:42:34 +0000 littlepenguin 809255@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Like others have said it really depends on you and the temperament of your baby. </p> <p>For us we stayed pretty close to home the first month and a half. Our first trip out of the house was at two weeks and just a short walk to the park and back. For us walks got to be pretty manageable and low preparation ( for me and him) so it was fairly easy. </p> <p>Now at 3.5 months we are better at going out. I don't like being out too long because my son gets over stimulated and it is a little more tiring. </p> <p>To answer your question I don't think you're overly ambitious but don't expect it to be as easy as pick up and go when it was just you. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/positive-transition-from-pregnancy-to-new-parenthood#post-809250 Sat, 25 May 2013 17:39:36 +0000 allison 809250@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Don't be discouraged! I didn't lead a particularly exciting life pre-baby, but the only thing I haven't been able to do that I could do before is go to the movies. The baby has just become an addition to the life we were already living! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/positive-transition-from-pregnancy-to-new-parenthood#post-809248 Sat, 25 May 2013 17:35:25 +0000 Boheme 809248@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@deerylou: We have friends on both sides - some have described the first three months as pure hell, and others have said it was amazing... So I guess I'm wandering into the great unknown. The responses here are very reassuring! I think some people just love to tell (and exaggerate) horror stories. I'm so glad to know so many Bees had a wonderful transition! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/positive-transition-from-pregnancy-to-new-parenthood#post-809234 Sat, 25 May 2013 17:20:26 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 809234@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had a great transition! I felt so much better once the baby was born that we were going on long walks starting day 2 post partum. Our little one slept really well in those first four months (never to sleep again after that!) so we went to nice dinners with her and hung out with friends just the way we used to.</p> <p>I had prepared for the worst and was pleasantly surprised. I know she was pretty easy, but life was good! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/positive-transition-from-pregnancy-to-new-parenthood#post-809233 Sat, 25 May 2013 17:20:19 +0000 aprk 809233@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We are 7.5 weeks in and can't count the number of places we've gone with A, either in his car seat or wearing him. Recently we just went on a mini vacation and staying in the hotel was fine as was sightseeing and even a carriage ride. Some days I don't personally have the energy to go out and do something but I find it's always better when we do go out even if it's just to the grocery store. </p> <p>The nerves are normal, but we've found that with a bit of extra thought and some extra time for emergency diaper changes ;) we've been fine! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/positive-transition-from-pregnancy-to-new-parenthood#post-809228 Sat, 25 May 2013 17:16:35 +0000 HLK208 809228@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Smurfette: E hated her car seat too so I ended up wearing her whenever we were out and she would stay asleep as long as I would wear her (given she wasn't hungry) until 6 months old. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/positive-transition-from-pregnancy-to-new-parenthood#post-809227 Sat, 25 May 2013 17:13:28 +0000 HLK208 809227@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>For me, it wasn't overly hard, exhausting, awful, etc. I was so overwhelmed with happiness! I was so content with how my life had changed. I look back on those first few months, as the best days of my life and so does DH! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/positive-transition-from-pregnancy-to-new-parenthood#post-809215 Sat, 25 May 2013 16:52:46 +0000 duckduckkristen 809215@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Some people do make it out to be horrible, but sometimes I wonder if those people had a realistic idea of what parenthood would be like. Some people go into it expecting all rainbows and sunshine and then are surprised at how difficult it really is. While it is hard, especially at first, it is definitely still enjoyable! We went to the farmers market almost every Sunday the summer LO was born, took him to Costco and other stores, and even went out to dinner without LO three weeks after he was born (it was our first anniversary). You may have to do a lot of baby wearing, but it is still possible to have a normal life! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/positive-transition-from-pregnancy-to-new-parenthood#post-809196 Sat, 25 May 2013 16:34:44 +0000 Smurfette 809196@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it all depend on the type of baby you have. We were expecting a major lifestyle change but R hated the car seat. So we were stuck at home for a month and half till she grew out of it more. Now at 11 weeks it is still iffy on days. We knew we would have to give up our dinners out just us or with friends. But we had no clue about not being able to go to lunch or just running errands. I mean you always hear how babies love car seats.</p> <p>She also since day one will only fall asleep in our arms and will wake up from naps when we put her down. Again that wasn't something we had thought to think about. </p> <p>The lack of sleep was easier to deal with then feeling like a prisoner at home. Now things are much better and it is just normal. Granted we still have to leave restaurants cause she has a meltdown but that is expected with a baby. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/positive-transition-from-pregnancy-to-new-parenthood#post-809190 Sat, 25 May 2013 16:30:13 +0000 sarac 809190@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yeah, I'd also really suggest trying as much as possible to let go of the baby tracking apps, the worry about milestones, food intake, sleep, growth, all of that. I'm personally a huge researcher and knowledge collector, so I always know what she was 'supposed' to be eating and drinking and doing. But I've just done my best not to worry about it. She sleeps enough to be happy and energetic. She has grown, plenty, so she's obviously eating enough. She eats a variety of foods, so I did ok there. I'm going pretty good, I think. </p> <p>I feel like I see a lot of threads about 'my baby isn't doing X and I know they're supposed to be doing it already and I'm stressed!' And I always just want to give those people a hug and a ton of reassurance. There is so much anxiety around what is 'normal' that I think people don't really get how much normal actually varies. And I think that is a HUGE contributor to people thinking that the early period is awful and horrible. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/positive-transition-from-pregnancy-to-new-parenthood#post-809161 Sat, 25 May 2013 16:11:35 +0000 runsyellowlites 809161@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't think your expectations are crazy or unattainable. We didn't have any issues that kept us from doing things, but we did have issues at home &amp; the communication between DH &amp; I really broke down the first couple months.. so much that even though it was just 2 months it took probably through the rest of P's first year for us to really re-connect &amp; feel like "us" again.</p> <p>It can definitely be done though... Key is that both of you are always clear about your needs &amp; expectations. You're on the same team &amp; sometimes with such a huge change it's hard to remember that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/positive-transition-from-pregnancy-to-new-parenthood#post-809160 Sat, 25 May 2013 16:11:23 +0000 immabeetoo 809160@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Definitely want to second what @sarac said about letting go of control and trying to block out what is supposed to be happening or what others tell you your baby ought to be doing. Once I stopped babyconnect-ing and constantly stressing about what and when my baby was doing (versus what I wanted or expected him to be doing), I enjoyed him a lot more! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/positive-transition-from-pregnancy-to-new-parenthood#post-809159 Sat, 25 May 2013 16:09:30 +0000 oliviaoblivia 809159@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It wasn't horrible at all! I feel like my life is still mine, but I'm accompanied by the most adorable little sidekick. The first few days were tough but by the second week it was the new normal. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/positive-transition-from-pregnancy-to-new-parenthood#post-809158 Sat, 25 May 2013 16:09:10 +0000 deerylou 809158@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@grizz: I feel like I'm a crazy person for trying to have a positive outlook. There's a killer bluegrass and beer festival here in late August, and I'm totally considering buying tickets, and wearing DD while DH and I sample a few brews. </p> <p>Most of the new parents I talk to are like, "I don't even remember my name, half the time. My life is breastfeeding, and wild banshee cries."</p> <p>....I feel like I'm clinging to a hope that doesn't exist </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/positive-transition-from-pregnancy-to-new-parenthood#post-809156 Sat, 25 May 2013 16:08:39 +0000 sarac 809156@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it's horrible that you're surrounded by such negativity! My experience was 180 degrees from that - we had the easiest, calmest, most relaxed newborn period ever. I was always tired from her overnight nursing, but we still had the same lovely life. We explored our new city, we went out to eat, I recovered from giving birth. We did plenty of travel to our family a few hours away. We saw friends, hung out. It was all very easy and lovely.</p> <p>Your ability to do these things depends on two things - your baby, and your attitude. Obviously all you can control is your attitude. If your baby is hard to feed, or cries for no reason, or wakes up every hour to eat, or has their day and nights flipped - that's harder. But my baby wasn't like that, and tons aren't.</p> <p>What you can do is chill out - preemptively. Let go of attempting to control everything, of trying to run the show, of knowing what to expect. Know that trying to put your baby on a strict schedule will limit your ability to live your own life. Let go of the idea that babies nurse for 10 minute a side, every three hours, and just go with it. Let go of whatever amount of housework/social life/yard work that stresses you out, and get help with the rest.</p> <p>I seriously believe that absent a really difficult baby, it's possible to really enjoy a lot of the first year of a their lives. No one enjoys sleep deprivation - but it is absolutely possible to keep having an awesome life. I did it, you can too.</p> <p>ETA: I had complications, plus a baby in the NICU for a week. The day after we brought her home we went straight to the dog park, and then to a fun little cafe. You can do it! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/positive-transition-from-pregnancy-to-new-parenthood#post-809154 Sat, 25 May 2013 16:08:22 +0000 immabeetoo 809154@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I know several people who had no complications and were out running errands, shopping, and taking baby out to dinner within the first month. I think people who had complications and issues are more likely to speak up and vent :) I personally had several postpartum complications, 2 repair surgeries, a cross-state move, a new house, the holidays, and DH at a new job. So we were against the odds... loving mama life now though! :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/positive-transition-from-pregnancy-to-new-parenthood#post-809148 Sat, 25 May 2013 16:03:18 +0000 Boheme 809148@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Following - I have the same fears! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/positive-transition-from-pregnancy-to-new-parenthood#post-809124 Sat, 25 May 2013 15:39:00 +0000 deerylou 809124@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm 34 weeks pregnant, and, while I'm excited, I am starting to really fear what the summer holds for me and my family.</p> <p>Don't get me wrong, I completely understand and appreciate that the birth of our daughter will forever change the way we conduct ourselves, and go about our daily lives. However, I'm really hoping to maintain some sense of normalcy and happiness during infanthood.</p> <p>I've mostly heard the horror stories of the first few months - how incredibly exhausting, daunting, painful, and isolating new parenthood can be. While I anticipate it being immensely challenging, I am also hoping it's possible to still - well - live, and enjoy myself. Take our Sunday morning walks to the farmer's market (post recovery, of course), read a book on the deck while the baby naps, enjoy a beach picnic with the family, come August - is this crazy for me to even ponder?</p> <p>Is it really as horrible as everyone claims? Did anyone have a relatively positive transition when they welcomed their first baby home? </p>