https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 17 Jun 2026 03:16:52 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/post-partum-depression-and-future-children#post-345860 Wed, 17 Oct 2012 23:37:38 +0000 erinpye 345860@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm sorry and I know how you feel. My LO is 6 months and I have felt that way many times and have also suffered with some PPD. I'm still pretty sure I want another baby, but terrified. I hated being pregnant, too, and DD isn't a great sleeper. She also screamed for the first 4 months of her life, non-stop, threw up everywhere all the time, and refused to sleep unless I held her. There were days were I wouldn't have eaten or been able to use the bathroom without a meltdown, without my husband coming home at lunch to take her for a minute. I also have no family nearby, so no help. Motherhood can be quite a lonely thing, and very hard, and I hope you can find some mommy friends to help you through, and make some time for yourself each day, even if it's just sticking your feet in the bath after putting your LO down at night. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/post-partum-depression-and-future-children#post-345810 Wed, 17 Oct 2012 22:40:49 +0000 sarac 345810@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I only had a touch of PPD, and mine was clearly linked to the bad sleep deprivation she put us through at about 8 months. I'm pretty nervous about the next baby - this one is a good sleeper in general. I know that a baby who slept badly might really do me in, depression wise. </p> <p>The extent to which I struggled to deal with my baby's (not even that terrible) bad sleeping really have helped convince me that one more child is probably enough. I'd like 4 or 5 more, in some ways, but I just don't think I'm cut out to do this phase four or five more times. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/post-partum-depression-and-future-children#post-345282 Wed, 17 Oct 2012 16:42:22 +0000 mrsjyw 345282@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm sorry for what you're going through. I haven't experienced it, but this is one of my concerns for post partum recovery. I hope to be conscious of it and hopefully not let it affect my want now to have more than one child. But, at the same time, I would def consider my well-being in the long run if PPD severely affects my recovery process. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/post-partum-depression-and-future-children#post-344924 Wed, 17 Oct 2012 14:32:17 +0000 DillonLion 344924@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Goldilocks1107: The only way my mom could have had more children was if she stopped taking her medication...and her medication was something she had to be on to remain stable (and still does to this very day). It was more important to her to remain stable and healthy and be a good, present mom to me rather than go off her medication, risk getting sick again, and also have to manage a pregnancy/additional child while suffering. I think it was the right decision for her. But her case was also very extreme, and she still suffers from it today, like I said before. Her situation may be more serious than yours. I'm not sure. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/post-partum-depression-and-future-children#post-344914 Wed, 17 Oct 2012 14:29:15 +0000 Goldilocks1107 344914@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@T-Mom: LO is almost 5 months old - so I'm definitely still in the "everything is tough" stage. I have a better outlook on life when I get to sleep through the night - I'm hoping when that happens consistently, considering having #2 won't be so terrifying. On the "plus" side - DH did give me control of the TV last night. So we watched HGTV instead of baseball. Which was a nice change :-)</p> <p>@highwire: Part of me thinks I can be a better mom if there's only one. Because I won't potentially be fighting PPD again when my current LO is 2-3 years old.</p> <p>@meredithNYC: I think there was one almost a year ago, but it would definitely be nice to see another one. Unless one of these threads pop up, I know I always feel a little alone because it's harder talking about this stuff IRL. At least on HB, you have an idea that there's a community out there that possibly understands.</p> <p>Thanks ladies - I'm feeling a bit calmer (I also did my Wednesday lunch-hour workout). I took a hiatus from HB for a short time thinking it would help me feel less overwhelmed and allow me to focus more on myself. But I found the opposite - instead of venting/whatever here, I just held it inside. Everything in moderation, I guess. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/post-partum-depression-and-future-children#post-344616 Wed, 17 Oct 2012 12:16:14 +0000 T-Mom 344616@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@meredithNYC, @Goldilocks1107 and all the other moms who are "in the throes" of PPD or shuddering from the memories. BIG hugs to you all. Your LO's are blessings, whether you have only one or decide to have more. PPD turned me into the worst version of myself, but I came out on the other side! If you are on meds, be faithful taking them, they are a tool. Continue talking to your friends and anyone who will listen to you vent. Post on HB! Most of the anxiety I experienced was me just working myself up. Find a minute for yourself, even if it is to watch the Kardashians! :-) You are all amazing moms! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/post-partum-depression-and-future-children#post-344585 Wed, 17 Oct 2012 12:02:22 +0000 pastemoo 344585@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We're going to wait 5 years. And if I'm still anxious then I think I might be able to talk DH out of it. We'll see.</p> <p>Sorry it's so rough for you right now! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/post-partum-depression-and-future-children#post-344584 Wed, 17 Oct 2012 12:02:03 +0000 baby98765 344584@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have pretty bad PPD. It's definitely made me want to wait a while until we have another but I do still want another. I know that I will stay on antidepressants for a long time, if not for the rest of my life, so I'm hopeful that I will be in a better place when the next one comes along. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/post-partum-depression-and-future-children#post-344563 Wed, 17 Oct 2012 11:56:57 +0000 meredithNYC 344563@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Also, I would love to see someone blog about postpartum. Unless they have and I've missed it? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/post-partum-depression-and-future-children#post-344559 Wed, 17 Oct 2012 11:56:30 +0000 meredithNYC 344559@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@T-Mom: As someone who had a nasty bout of postpartum depression, your comment is so helpful! Like the OP, I have these same fears of, will I be able to handle another baby? I definitely want another, but I feel apprehensive about it.</p> <p>So far my tentative plan is to reevaluate how I feel in two years (DD is nearly 5 months old). I had a lot of trouble with breastfeeding and now that LO is formula fed I find motherhood so much more enjoyable. That said, I'm really hoping to have an easier time w/ nursing the second time around, so thanks for your input! Here's hoping that if we decide to have another, my experience will be similar to yours. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/post-partum-depression-and-future-children#post-344468 Wed, 17 Oct 2012 11:06:45 +0000 winniebee 344468@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm really sorry you are going through this. I just want to say that you aren't allne and many moms who don't have PPD still have *those days* where they cry and want to quit. Or, at least I do. I generally really love being a mom but it's the hardest job I've ever had (way harder than I ever imagined), I'm exhausted, and sometimes I just want a break from it all. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/post-partum-depression-and-future-children#post-344462 Wed, 17 Oct 2012 11:02:54 +0000 Rubies 344462@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Not at all. I had PPD but I knew it was just a sense of being overwhelmed and not about me being a terrible mother. I desire more children and PPD hasn't changed that. What has changed was, perhaps, my outlook on motherhood and how I can better manage myself with any future children. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/post-partum-depression-and-future-children#post-344450 Wed, 17 Oct 2012 10:56:26 +0000 T-Mom 344450@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had PPD with my first. But meds got things under control and helped to "zero" me out. I regret waiting as long as I did to take them. Going back to work and getting "me" time also was a huge help. Life also got much better after LO got more interesting and fun (going to formula also relieved a lot of stress). Since I got the PPD under control the first time, I felt ok about having #2 (3 year gap). It is so much easier the 2nd time around since you know what to expect. All the things that were hard the first time (like EBF) were so much easier. Having 2 is not easy though, especially when you have a new infant but knowing you have done it once before totally gives you confidence. Not sure how old your LO is, but things will get better! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/post-partum-depression-and-future-children#post-344432 Wed, 17 Oct 2012 10:49:07 +0000 DillonLion 344432@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Haven't given birth yet but my mom had very bad PPD and elected not to have any more children. I've never really heard her complain or regret her decision. I'm an only child and I had a great childhood. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/post-partum-depression-and-future-children#post-344400 Wed, 17 Oct 2012 10:32:07 +0000 ladyfingers 344400@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Goldilocks1107: Yeah I was going to mention dooce also. I think you just need to feel it out and do what feels right. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/post-partum-depression-and-future-children#post-344386 Wed, 17 Oct 2012 10:24:47 +0000 Goldilocks1107 344386@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@yoursilverlining: Yep - I went to my doctor right before I went back to work (around 11 weeks post-partum) and she referred me to a counsellor and put me on Prozac. I've been on it for about 2.5 months and it's helped, but you still have "those days" that beat you down. Last night was one of them and DH got the lucky job of just holding me while I cried and said I hate everything.</p> <p>@MamaMoose: We've decided to put all talk of #2 on hiatus, but it's one of those things that lingers in the back of my head (I've always been a worrier, and PPD has made it worse) - if I can't/don't want to go through this again, will that be okay. So I think I need to ask that actual question to DH.</p> <p>@ladyfingers: Thanks for sharing - I've also been following Heather Armstrong's blog and read her first book, so I know some moms do manage to overcome some pretty awful PPD and have more kids. I'm just wondering when you hit the milestone of "this doesn't suck quite so bad anymore" and feel the slightest bit open to trying for another one. Because right now, I just don't see that happening.</p> <p>But yeah, no big decisions until I'm back to my old self. Just trying to figure out how to keep the thoughts and fears from taking over and stressing me out more. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/post-partum-depression-and-future-children#post-344248 Wed, 17 Oct 2012 09:04:49 +0000 ladyfingers 344248@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@yoursilverlining: That's interesting, when I was talking to my doctor about going off my medications before getting pregnant (my medications were not pregnancy safe), she said there is a better recovery rate in general if you're able to stay on meds for 9-12 months. So that's what I've heard, as well. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/post-partum-depression-and-future-children#post-344244 Wed, 17 Oct 2012 09:03:05 +0000 ladyfingers 344244@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I haven't given birth yet, but this is something that I'm nervous about because I've required medication for depression and anxiety in the past. I can say that I have a close friend who had severe, almost post-partum psychosis with her first child. She had her second a couple of years later and her first experience made her a lot more open with her doctor and open this time around to going on medication while pregnant to mitigate risk after birth. She said it was like a completely different experience and that she was able to actually enjoy her second child and almost felt bad that she didn't feel that way with her first. </p> <p>Anyway, that's all just to say that I know it can be done! And hang in there (which sounds lame, but you know what I mean). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/post-partum-depression-and-future-children#post-344226 Wed, 17 Oct 2012 08:53:45 +0000 yoursilverlining 344226@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I did not enjoy pregnancy and had/have PPD; and yes, it definitely makes me think twice about getting pregnant again. We’re content with 1, and when I think about being pregnant again; I seriously feel sick to my stomach. We are going to wait several years until we make the decision about having a second child.</p> <p>Are you in counseling or taking any medication for the PPD? Both have helped me immensely. My OB advised (and my primary care doc agrees) that I should stay on Zoloft for one year, which I plan to do. My OB said that a lot of women with PPD will take Zoloft or something similar only for a few months until they start to feel better; but that most women need to stay on it for a longer period of time.</p> <p>Have you talked to your husband about how you feel and your fears? Another option to think about is joining a mother’s group. I bet some of the women there might have similar experience and more insight. Good luck with everything. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/post-partum-depression-and-future-children#post-344193 Wed, 17 Oct 2012 08:34:10 +0000 MamaMoose 344193@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My LO isn't here yet so I don't have personal experience. I just wanted to say I'm sorry you're going through this. I think the best thing to do would be to wait until you're in a place where you feel like yourself again before you worry about making decisions for the future. You'll have a clearer head once you feel recovered. You have plenty of time to make the decision about having another kid so I wouldn't put that extra stress on yourself right now when you don't need it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/post-partum-depression-and-future-children#post-344182 Wed, 17 Oct 2012 08:23:02 +0000 Goldilocks1107 344182@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If you had PPD with one baby, did that make you hesitant to have another? I'm currently "in the weeds" with my PPD, and nothing terrifies me more than going through this again. I didn't enjoy being pregnant and I have about 1-2 hours a day that I enjoy being a mom. Sometimes I think I'd be a better fit as the "cool aunt". </p> <p>I feel like our little family of 3 is complete, but DH always wanted 2-3 kids. If you had PPD, did it affect your outlook on family size and getting pregnant again? How long did it take you to feel open to facing the whole pregnancy/post-pregnancy ordeal again? </p>