https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 29 Apr 2026 03:24:48 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/post-still-birth-when-did-you-return-to-work/page/2#post-2315382 Fri, 09 Oct 2015 20:39:12 +0000 LovelyPlum 2315382@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so sorry for your loss :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/post-still-birth-when-did-you-return-to-work/page/2#post-2314882 Fri, 09 Oct 2015 11:43:20 +0000 MaryM 2314882@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Unfortunately, the person I need to avoid the most works in the office right next to me. And I'm not sure if saying I don't want to talk will keep her away...</p> <p>who knows. Maybe I'll get a miracle... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/post-still-birth-when-did-you-return-to-work/page/2#post-2314874 Fri, 09 Oct 2015 11:36:42 +0000 LulaBee 2314874@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MaryM: A firm "I don't want to talk about it right now" always does the trick. I have people at my work with no social skills, and found myself avoiding them.</p> <p>Hugs to you, hang in there, take as much time as you need, and be kind to yourself. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/post-still-birth-when-did-you-return-to-work/page/2#post-2314872 Fri, 09 Oct 2015 11:34:48 +0000 MaryM 2314872@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LulaBee: My doctor thought the placenta came out intact, but I ended up in horrid pain Tuesday and thought an ovarian cyst was torsing. It ended up being stuff left behind and I had to decide on the spot if I wanted to try medicine to get it out, or do the D&amp;C then and there. </p> <p>I HATE making in the moment decisions. But I wanted it to all be over with already...</p> <p>In most places, I think a closed door is appreciated by most people to mean "I'm really busy" or "Leave me alone"...but I have a few coworkers with NO social skills whatsoever who don't think closed doors apply to them. I may contact facilities today to see if they can fix it before I get back so I can lock the door. </p> <p>I agree that I think most people say or do whatever makes them feel better. I have social anxiety to begin with, so I think that's part of what makes the idea of dealing with people so uncomfortable to me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/post-still-birth-when-did-you-return-to-work/page/2#post-2314867 Fri, 09 Oct 2015 11:30:05 +0000 LulaBee 2314867@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MaryM: I'm so sorry you had to have a D&amp;C on top of it all. When my son was stillborn, I had to have a D&amp;C immediately after birth as my placenta wouldn't come out. Just makes recovery that much harder.</p> <p>In my experience, a lot of people avoided me at work... some stopped by and said how sorry they were, some cried. People are going to say what they want- almost like it makes them feel better or something. But I think it's totally appropriate to say you don't feel like talking if you don't and someone pushes you or asks questions. Otherwise it's easiest to just say thank you. Can you put a sign on your door? At my office, a closed door meant do not disturb. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/post-still-birth-when-did-you-return-to-work/page/2#post-2314837 Fri, 09 Oct 2015 11:05:10 +0000 MaryM 2314837@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Update in case this is searched for in the future...</p> <p>I ended up having retained tissue so had a D&amp;C this past week. That solidified taking off at least 2.5 weeks. My doctor suggested I take at least a week off following that, so I won't be going back before next Thursday.</p> <p>My boobs at least are better (thank god), but I'm getting sick of wearing a bra 24/7. I'm still leaking just a tiny bit, but at least there's no more horrid pain. </p> <p>I did email my boss today to ask that if anyone in my office has questions, that they email them to me before I return so I can address them before I return to work so that I'm able to JUST focus on work when I get back. I planted the seed that I'm hoping to work somewhat independently and sort of be left alone. She should know by now (we've worked together for 9 years) that I tend to leave personal stuff at home and want to be all about work at work...but my boss lacks empathy so I figured I should put it out there. I'm just hoping to avoid totally inappropriate comments and questions from coworkers that I'm not really even that close to (I don't mind if work friends ask whatever...but I have some really inappropriate people in my office). </p> <p>And of course my office door stopped locking right before I left work so I'm worried about them also just barging into my office and planting themselves there (yes, it happens) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/post-still-birth-when-did-you-return-to-work/page/2#post-2306310 Wed, 30 Sep 2015 12:12:27 +0000 catomd00 2306310@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MaryM: I would take as prescribed. You can also use jasmine I have heard. Cold compresses are good (avoid hot showers on your chest) and hand express for comfort of you need to. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/post-still-birth-when-did-you-return-to-work#post-2306290 Wed, 30 Sep 2015 12:03:54 +0000 noelani 2306290@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wore two sports bras and wore a tightly bound ace bandage on top of that for 3-4 days. It made it easier to lie down at least. Cabbage leaves didn't seem to have any effect but I hope they work for you. I don't know if this is recommended but I had milk backing up into my armpits and it seemed to help to massage the lumps out a little bit. </p> <p>Again, I'm so sorry you are going through this. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/post-still-birth-when-did-you-return-to-work#post-2306268 Wed, 30 Sep 2015 11:46:00 +0000 MaryM 2306268@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Do I take the max dose of sudafed and just keep taking it? </p> <p>I hate it because it makes me anxious and unable to sleep, but it hurts to lay down now anyway </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/post-still-birth-when-did-you-return-to-work#post-2306255 Wed, 30 Sep 2015 11:36:40 +0000 catomd00 2306255@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MaryM: you can also try sudafed to help. Hope you're hanging in there. Sending lots of support your way. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/post-still-birth-when-did-you-return-to-work#post-2306248 Wed, 30 Sep 2015 11:31:41 +0000 MaryM 2306248@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>For those whose milk came in, any advice?</p> <p>I was ok until I took a shower yesterday and took off the sports bra. They instantly hardened. </p> <p>I sent my mom for breast pads and cabbage leaves and overnighted some sage tea from Amazon. </p> <p>Am I missing something? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/post-still-birth-when-did-you-return-to-work#post-2304740 Tue, 29 Sep 2015 05:32:59 +0000 Purpledaisy 2304740@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have no advice but I am so so sorry for your loss :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/post-still-birth-when-did-you-return-to-work#post-2304705 Mon, 28 Sep 2015 23:05:32 +0000 noelani 2304705@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am so deeply sorry for your loss. I sat at my computer and just sobbed when I saw your update.</p> <p>Our situations were different but had a loss at 23 weeks this past May (TFMR, my baby had a massive CPAM that destroyed his lungs and he was in heart failure). I chose labor and delivery following a termination procedure and consider our experience a stillbirth.</p> <p>I only took two days off of work following the procedure and that was a HUGE mistake. My work environment is very unsupportive and I was expected to "get over it" right away. </p> <p>But even if your work environment is supportive it's probably a good idea to take at least 2-3 weeks, unless you think the distraction of work will be helpful. It can be so hard to function in "the real world" after such a tremendous loss.</p> <p>Physically, the first few weeks were really tough. My milk came in and I bled for about 3 weeks. Five months out I still don't feel "normal" - I'm still about 7 lbs above my pre-pregnancy weight and at 3 months post-partum hair loss started with a vengeance (my hair is still falling out, it's such a painful reminder). </p> <p>I wish there was something I could do to make the coming days/months/years less painful for you. Grief can be incredibly isolating, please feel free to wall me if I can be helpful. :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/post-still-birth-when-did-you-return-to-work#post-2304490 Mon, 28 Sep 2015 18:11:28 +0000 Mrs. Tiger 2304490@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No advice but I'm so sorry for your immense loss. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/post-still-birth-when-did-you-return-to-work#post-2304460 Mon, 28 Sep 2015 17:38:17 +0000 winter_wonder 2304460@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm very sorry to hear about this :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/post-still-birth-when-did-you-return-to-work#post-2304383 Mon, 28 Sep 2015 15:05:51 +0000 Ree723 2304383@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so sorry for your loss. :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/post-still-birth-when-did-you-return-to-work#post-2304236 Mon, 28 Sep 2015 13:30:35 +0000 JennyLayneAZ 2304236@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so sorry for your loss. You and your husband are in my prayers. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/post-still-birth-when-did-you-return-to-work#post-2304165 Mon, 28 Sep 2015 12:28:56 +0000 LulaBee 2304165@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So incredibly sorry for your loss.</p> <p>I had a birth loss at 23 weeks, and went back to work 3 days after. I don't know what I was thinking, I wish I had taken more than that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/post-still-birth-when-did-you-return-to-work#post-2304111 Mon, 28 Sep 2015 11:52:59 +0000 Adira 2304111@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so sorry for your loss. &lt;3 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/post-still-birth-when-did-you-return-to-work#post-2304073 Mon, 28 Sep 2015 11:30:58 +0000 Ms.Badger 2304073@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so, so sorry for your loss. I think you should take all the time you need, but that may not be as long as you think or could be longer, so if there's anyway to have your leave be more open-ended, I think that's ideal.</p> <p>My situation is not the same, because I lost my son at 14 months, my body was fine. I only ended up taking 2 weeks, I just couldn't stand being home, in our house, alone and consumed by the grief. I literally needed something to live for. I actually changed from part time to full time that first week back because I needed it. I have an very understanding employer for whom every option was on the table and I am forever grateful. I could not have worked from home because all the sadness is there.</p> <p>We had Lucas cremated and had a memorial about a month later and I took another week for that. I would not have wanted to work that week, that week I wanted to be alone with my grief.</p> <p>Hugs and Love to you, even though it doesn't feel like it now it will get easier to remember your little one </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/post-still-birth-when-did-you-return-to-work#post-2304047 Mon, 28 Sep 2015 11:12:08 +0000 Alivoo01 2304047@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so sorry for your loss. &lt;3 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/post-still-birth-when-did-you-return-to-work#post-2304014 Mon, 28 Sep 2015 10:53:03 +0000 Mrs D 2304014@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MaryM: I am so sorry for your loss. I had a boss at an old job go through this...around 22w. She was out for roughly 1 month - when she returned to work it was from home for 2w, then back to full-time with days off as needed. </p> <p>Our overall boss was exceptional. I thought he handled the situation very well. After her loss - he sent an email to our team (with her approval) letting us know what had happened and that she wanted us to know so we were not in the dark. He asked that we not contact her and to only mention what had happened if she brought it up to us. He also provided us with the information for the firms health counselor in case we needed/wanted to discuss the situation. A couple of us girls on the team reached out to the counselor (who was in contact with my manager) and asked her to let us know when she felt it would be appropriate for us to send our condolences and a small item (a figure one girl had purchased on all our behalf).</p> <p>I thought the boss informing everyone of what happened was nice bc it avoided the akward looks/questions/inappropriateness that can sometimes follow. It also saved her a lot of re-opening of the wound. I also thought it was great that he identified a "moderator" of sorts for her in the form of the counselor. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/post-still-birth-when-did-you-return-to-work#post-2303956 Mon, 28 Sep 2015 10:05:58 +0000 mediagirl 2303956@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MaryM: I'm so sorry for your loss. Someone I know went through this and took 3 weeks. She works in a very understanding field so she was lucky that she had people there to support her. I hope you have the same. I hope you are doing okay. Sending you a hug. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/post-still-birth-when-did-you-return-to-work#post-2303945 Mon, 28 Sep 2015 10:00:24 +0000 yoursilverlining 2303945@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so sorry for your loss. I've never been in your shoes, but I can imagine I would need to take several weeks at a minimum. Sometimes it's easier to go back to "get your mind off things", and if you end up doing that and finding you need more time - take it, and don't ever feel guilty for whatever time you end up needing. :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/post-still-birth-when-did-you-return-to-work#post-2303928 Mon, 28 Sep 2015 09:49:37 +0000 birdofafeather 2303928@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so sorry. :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/post-still-birth-when-did-you-return-to-work#post-2303917 Mon, 28 Sep 2015 09:38:14 +0000 .twist. 2303917@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so sorry. &lt;3 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/post-still-birth-when-did-you-return-to-work#post-2303845 Mon, 28 Sep 2015 08:39:03 +0000 yerpie110 2303845@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So deeply sorry for your loss :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/post-still-birth-when-did-you-return-to-work#post-2303828 Mon, 28 Sep 2015 08:27:20 +0000 blackbird 2303828@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so sorry &lt;3 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/post-still-birth-when-did-you-return-to-work#post-2303791 Mon, 28 Sep 2015 08:06:30 +0000 winniebee 2303791@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am so very sorry for your loss. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/post-still-birth-when-did-you-return-to-work#post-2303722 Mon, 28 Sep 2015 06:05:26 +0000 Dandelion 2303722@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>2 years. I took it really hard. Even then, I only worked a temp job. It's been 2.5 years (with another baby in between ) and now I'm back on a career track.</p> <p>I'm very sorry for your loss. </p>