https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 15 Apr 2026 08:44:13 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/postpartum-humor#post-1487730 Tue, 11 Mar 2014 19:34:26 +0000 kjpugs 1487730@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mfa_lady: awww! I hope you have a post-baby pants-crapping REALLY soon! :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/postpartum-humor#post-1487653 Tue, 11 Mar 2014 18:58:05 +0000 mfa_lady 1487653@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@kjpugs: OH MY GOSH. I just read this to my husband (we're TTC) and he cracked up and said "Well babe, if you ever crap your pants, I'll still love you. But I will definitely laugh." Hahahahahaha thank you so much for sharing! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/postpartum-humor#post-1487634 Tue, 11 Mar 2014 18:48:58 +0000 wonderstruck 1487634@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is during labor and not PP, but still funny. They had the oxygen mask on me at several points during my labor when LO's heart rate was dropping. I was completely sleep deprived by that point and we'd been watching Dark Knight Rises at home right before we left for the hospital, so I wouldn't stop telling everyone how the mask made me feel like Bane, and then attempting to quote some of his key lines. This was after I'd been given drugs, obviously. lol </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/postpartum-humor#post-1487596 Tue, 11 Mar 2014 18:24:29 +0000 catomd00 1487596@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I full on peed my pants in our parking lot when we got home. I started laughing hysterically (at a joke I told myself in my head - holy hormone changes!) and couldnt get myself inside or squeeze hard enough to stop. The giant diaper pads they give you are absorbent but they aren't THaT absorbent! So, DH's first daddy duty was cleaning his wife's pee pants. Awesome. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/postpartum-humor#post-1486137 Tue, 11 Mar 2014 10:16:41 +0000 BabyBoecksMom 1486137@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I giggle/laugh a lot... but after having the baby, that translated to me peeing myself about 4 times a day. </p> <p>@kjpugs: I know all about those pads - I had to wear them so I wouldn't pee through my pants. ;-) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/postpartum-humor#post-1486068 Tue, 11 Mar 2014 10:03:16 +0000 CupQuakeWalk 1486068@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@kjpugs: bahaha! OMG isn't it the BEST?? I remember thinking how low my life had gotten at that point and missing my yester years, when I never crapped myself. Long gone are those days, apparently! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/postpartum-humor#post-1482735 Mon, 10 Mar 2014 07:29:00 +0000 kjpugs 1482735@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@CupQuakeWalk: poopy pants sisters!</p> <p>ETA- I blame mine on normal PP issues and Chick Fil A. Took me a WHILE to eat it again. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/postpartum-humor#post-1482731 Mon, 10 Mar 2014 07:27:51 +0000 kjpugs 1482731@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I crapped my pants in the middle of Buy Buy Baby.</p> <p>No warning. No prairie-dogging. I was talking to DH and said "I think we should get this size and - omg I just $h!t my pants."</p> <p>He started laughing and I was like "NO I AM DEAD SERIOUS THAT JUST HAPPENED." I kept asking him to check for signs of visible damage while I got myself together to run to the bathroom.</p> <p>Strangely, the day before I had asked DH to go to CVS and buy me "the biggest pads he could find." I meant big like fluffy, but he had bought some flat ones that folded up like 4 times. You know how usually they fold like a 2-fold wallet? These folded like 4 times. And the back part had WINGS that folded in too. It essentially covered my entire bottom like a bikini bottom.</p> <p>So, long story short, I happened to be wearing that pad style and ended up with zero casualties. Ran to the restroom and was very glad I had pads and wipes in my diaper bag.</p> <p>I also think it traumatized my sister for life. She kept asking my mom "Does that, like... HAPPEN? Is that NORMAL?"</p> <p>Ohhhh sister. NOTHING PP is normal. It's alllll crazy. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/postpartum-humor#post-1482707 Mon, 10 Mar 2014 07:13:53 +0000 indi 1482707@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I labored at the hospital for a full weekend before LO's c-section delivery on a Monday. Since they had me on a liquid diet that entire time, and I'd slept about 4 hours out if 72, I had a one-track mind for food by Sunday evening. I SWEAR the gal at the front desk answered the phone Sunday night as "Homemade pizza, this is Shelly" rather than "OB/Peds, this is Shelly." After LO was born, I asked for food in the OR! Lol. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/postpartum-humor#post-1482642 Mon, 10 Mar 2014 05:22:58 +0000 Ash 1482642@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@singingbee: hahaha! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/postpartum-humor#post-1482162 Sun, 09 Mar 2014 20:12:00 +0000 MrsF 1482162@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@CupQuakeWalk: Aw, man! Though I honestly might rather crap my pants than deal with major PP constipation. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/postpartum-humor#post-1482159 Sun, 09 Mar 2014 20:10:51 +0000 MrsF 1482159@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH pulled me aside in the hospital when we had visitors because he thought I had peed my pants. Nope! Just sweated right through my clothes :silly: . Why did nobody tell me about the postpartum sweating?!? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/postpartum-humor#post-1482154 Sun, 09 Mar 2014 20:09:23 +0000 CupQuakeWalk 1482154@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Well...<br /> Everyone told me to take stool softeners after labor because pooping would be painful with an episiotomy.<br /> So I did. A TON.<br /> Day 4 PP: I shit my pants. Yep.<br /> Annnnd that's all I'll say about that day. Good times. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/postpartum-humor#post-1482149 Sun, 09 Mar 2014 20:08:04 +0000 Foodnerd81 1482149@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I never used the sitz bath, but we did use it to give C a bath for the first few weeks until I felt comfortable putting her in the baby bath! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/postpartum-humor#post-1482133 Sun, 09 Mar 2014 20:01:54 +0000 Pirouette 1482133@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@singingbee: omg I told everyone and their mother and they still wouldn't let me eat! I even told the nurses who came to weigh lo - they were like umm... I was so hungry! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/postpartum-humor#post-1482127 Sun, 09 Mar 2014 19:59:14 +0000 Katrocap 1482127@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I took photos of my c-section scar with the bandages on because I couldn't angle myself properly to see it. Months later the photos were still on my camera (I forgot) and my 11 year old niece discovered them. She was horrified. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/postpartum-humor#post-1482124 Sun, 09 Mar 2014 19:57:08 +0000 MrsH 1482124@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@BabyMats: I happily told anyone who would listen that I pooped. I practically cried with joy. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/postpartum-humor#post-1482056 Sun, 09 Mar 2014 19:21:01 +0000 Mrs. Oatmeal 1482056@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ElbieKay: That's hilarious. </p> <p>When I was being stitched up after LO, I was hitting the gas-mask pretty hard (30 stitches or so). 'Inner Ninja' came on my iPod, and according to DH, I pulled off the mask and yelled "Good song" in this really mellow voice. Oh dear. </p> <p>The second or third night we were home, DH got up to pee. Well, he was so sleep deprived that he peed all over his pyjama pants...which made me feel better about peeing myself the day before :P </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/postpartum-humor#post-1482043 Sun, 09 Mar 2014 19:11:58 +0000 BabyMats 1482043@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@singingbee: I not only happily told the nurses I passed gas but also had a bowel movement! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/postpartum-humor#post-1482041 Sun, 09 Mar 2014 19:10:25 +0000 Mrs. Taco 1482041@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>As soon as I handed R back to the nurses to be weighed, cleaned, etc, I asked for a turkey sandwich. I knew my mom had half of one left from her dinner (7 hours before) and I serious fantasized about it while I was pushing. 28 hours of no food will do that to a girl! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/postpartum-humor#post-1482029 Sun, 09 Mar 2014 18:58:35 +0000 singingbee 1482029@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've never been happier to pass gas. I had a c-section and when I finally tooted, I rang up the nurses in the middle of the night and told them so I could eat breakfast the next morning. Dh was so embarrassed that I did that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/postpartum-humor#post-1482008 Sun, 09 Mar 2014 18:37:08 +0000 Dandelion 1482008@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Haha! I don't have any to share, yet, but those are pretty funny. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/postpartum-humor#post-1482002 Sun, 09 Mar 2014 18:24:27 +0000 ElbieKay 1482002@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Share your I-can't-believe-this-is-happening moments!</p> <p>Today my postpartum Day 4, and we got home from the hospital yesterday. I was sitting in my sitz bath at home just now. The tube came disconnected from the bath and started writhing around like a snake and spraying water all over my bathroom. Good times.</p> <p>Somehow in the midst of my labor, I found the wherewithal to inform the anesthesiologist -- who had shown up to administer my epidural after 17 hours of natural labor -- that my birth class instructor told me that many women name their children after their anesthesiologists. I think this was my attempt to apologize for needing three people to hold me down through contractions and abject fear of needles for him to do his job. </p>