https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 01 May 2026 18:52:34 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/potty-training-failure#post-2923265 Thu, 08 Apr 2021 13:05:29 +0000 JJ2626 2923265@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks all! We are holding off for a bit. We are going away next week so may try again after that? </p> <p>@cake2017: Nothing happened to freak her out. She was super proud and happy the few times she peed in the potty but then just refused. When we ask, she just says because I don’t want to. Ha. </p> <p>@HappyBaker: I’m sorry it’s still so rough and causing poop issues to boot. Holding off seems right. We just had our 3 year appt and my pediatrician wasn’t phased that she isn’t potty trained yet. He just said keep going gradually (though didn’t have any practical advice!) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/potty-training-failure#post-2923113 Wed, 31 Mar 2021 08:36:51 +0000 ElbieKay 2923113@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We have a similar situation where our oldest was in a daycare that was very potty-training-centric. Now our twins are 2.5 and in a preschool that expects us to drive the process.</p> <p>We have been talking about the potty with them, and exposing them to it. We also bribe them with two chocolate chips every time they produce something in the potty. One of them has been on a great streak this week and gone a few mornings in undies and/or keeping her diaper dry. The other one had been on a great streak for awhile but seems to have lost focus on it.</p> <p>I'm so worn out from working full time with young kids during the pandemic. I think if I really focused on it for a week and kept them out of diapers we could convert them, but ugh it's such an exhausting prospect! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/potty-training-failure#post-2923112 Tue, 30 Mar 2021 21:31:56 +0000 HappyBaker 2923112@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@JJ2626: oh man glad I’m not alone but oof it’s rough! DS turns 3 this month and ever since we tried potty training back in the fall he has been a disaster about pooping and he still has zero interest in underwear. He now has such crazy poop issues I’m not actually sure what our plan will be, I’m going to ask his pediatrician at his check up. But not going to force it on him again ever ha so hopefully he’ll come around eventually! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/potty-training-failure#post-2923111 Tue, 30 Mar 2021 19:01:21 +0000 KT326 2923111@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@JJ2626: It's so tough because every kid is so different! My youngest basically potty trained himself a few months before he turned 3. (But he also had big brother to look up too, I think that helped). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/potty-training-failure#post-2923110 Tue, 30 Mar 2021 18:51:41 +0000 cake2017 2923110@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@JJ2626: I had similar experiences with DS with pooping on potty. We backed off for a week or two and he just started to do it in his own. </p> <p>It’s so stressful and annoying but I think they will eventually come to it. </p> <p>Any changes or stresses that may have caused her to want the diaper again? Maybe reevaluate or just ask her why she doesn’t want to pee?</p> <p>We did that and DS at the time said he was scared... we just encouraged and rewarded after backing off! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/potty-training-failure#post-2923109 Tue, 30 Mar 2021 18:39:20 +0000 JJ2626 2923109@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@KT326: thanks! This is great to hear that it just clicked for you at 3.5. My DD is so stubborn too! She clearly capable but just won’t do it. I am worried she is already having a bad association with the potty. The problem is she now wants to wear underwear at home but then doesn’t want to go in the potty. We are giving her a diaper when she asks but I feel weird saying, no more underwear. Either way, we are definitely leaning toward backing off again. Thanks! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/potty-training-failure#post-2923107 Tue, 30 Mar 2021 17:17:50 +0000 KT326 2923107@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@JJ2626: I would just back off again. This happened with my oldest. We tried quite a few different times but he just wasn't ready (so stubborn!). At 3.5 we tried again and boom. Potty trained in like a week. Our pediatrician said it is totally normal. You also don't want to create a negative association with the potty. That can cause a whole slew of issues. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/potty-training-failure#post-2923105 Tue, 30 Mar 2021 16:23:12 +0000 JJ2626 2923105@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ok reopening this thread in desperation! @HappyBaker: do you have any update?</p> <p>My daughter is now 3 years, 1 month old and still not potty trained. We took a break and then a little before she turned 3, we bought some underwear she was excited about. She got into sitting on the potty and successful peed about 4 times with an m&amp;m reward. But otherwise, she just holds it until she asks for a diaper and now is back to not wanting to sit on the potty at all, and is clearly stressed about it. No reward is working. I’m tempted to just tell her we threw out all the diapers so she has no choice. But I’m worried she’ll hold it until she gets a UTI. My husband wants to back off again and just wait for her to tell us she’s ready, but I feel like that could be forever! I started looking into a potty training consultant who could just tell us what to do. But, am checking back here in case anyone has any words of wisdom? Thanks!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/potty-training-failure#post-2921850 Mon, 04 Jan 2021 19:03:10 +0000 JJ2626 2921850@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Chuckles: Thanks! I’m going to try just putting it out to start. She already puts her toys on a makeshift potty she makes out of pillows so she will probably do the same with the real one. I’ll try to be patient and do it gradually!</p> <p> @erinbaderin: Thanks! We tried bribing with chocolate chips and videos with mixed results before. I’ve heard about sticker charts and will give it a try! I’m open to buying toys but there isn’t anything she’s really into. Ha mixed blessing I guess! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/potty-training-failure#post-2921840 Mon, 04 Jan 2021 15:15:11 +0000 erinbaderin 2921840@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@JJ2626: Is she rewards-motivated? Would a sticker chart or just straight-up prizes work? My older son was super easy to potty-train because we bribed him like crazy, got a bunch of Paw Patrol figurines and told him that every time he peed in the potty he got one. It got expensive, though. You start with telling her she doesn't even have to pee, just sit on it with a bare bum for two minutes and then she gets a sticker. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/potty-training-failure#post-2921836 Mon, 04 Jan 2021 13:28:10 +0000 Chuckles 2921836@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@JJ2626: Especially since it was a little traumatic before, I love the idea of just having it out and available, at least to start. Depending on the size of your house, you could have a couple - in the bathroom and in a main living/play space. Maybe have her stuffed animals/dolls/toys sit on the potty? Or putting it near the regular toilet and sitting on them together? You could even both sit on them with pants on, just to play pretend and get used to the idea again. We started really gradually by asking my son if he wanted to sit on it before baths but he led the way. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/potty-training-failure#post-2921833 Mon, 04 Jan 2021 13:12:55 +0000 JJ2626 2921833@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ok I’m back here hijacking this thread because I think we are ready to try again but I don’t know what that means! DD will be 3 in 6 weeks and is obsessed with playing potty. Literally her favorite game. She also tells us when she’s going in her diaper, and understands how it works, and loves to watch me go. But she has no interest in actually sitting on the potty. When we tried a few months ago she got so freaked out we had to stop but I feel like she is ready now.</p> <p>I know a lot of people do the “bring to the potty every 30 mins thing” but I think she would just refuse. Last time, we did pantsless time but I think she’ll refuse that too. Lol. My husband thinks maybe we just put the potty out and tell her it’s there but I feel like that won’t do anything. We also wonder if putting an insert in the actual toilet would work better than the little potty. We tried bribes last time and it worked a bit to get her to sit there, but then she still got traumatized. Anyone have any ideas? Do I literally just wait until she decides she wants to go?</p> <p>Thanks and sorry for the novel! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/potty-training-failure#post-2921473 Mon, 14 Dec 2020 09:37:29 +0000 HappyBaker 2921473@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Portboston: @Grace: @JJ2626: Thanks so much for sharing and making me feel better about giving up and trying again once he's 3! </p> <p> @JJ2626: Yes my DS was doing the same stuff, like he knew he had to pee but was terrified of doing it even in a diaper after we tried training. Also now is having huge poop issues even in his diaper (scared to let it out) so I wish we hadn't even tried ha! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/potty-training-failure#post-2921471 Mon, 14 Dec 2020 01:01:16 +0000 JJ2626 2921471@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So my DD is 2.75 and we are in basically the same situation. We were casually training (not oh crap) just letting her be pantsless sometimes and she was interested in the potty but rarely wanted to use it. She could hold it until we put a diaper on her. Then she just got terrified of peeing, even when wearing a diaper. Like holding her crotch, whining, crying, asking to be picked up. So we’ve dropped the whole potty thing and after about a week of just saying “diapers are great” she is finally not scared of peeing in her diaper. All that to say, we are waiting a couple more months!! I feel like maybe one day she’ll just say she’s ready?</p> <p>ETA: I also was worried we missed the window of doing it before 2.5 but I am hearing of more and more kids being trained around 3. Maybe it’s easier in some ways earlier, but it can’t be the only way! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/potty-training-failure#post-2921470 Mon, 14 Dec 2020 00:21:14 +0000 Grace 2921470@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@HappyBaker: Thought I would add my story for you. During the spring when we were locked down, I thought we should take the opportunity to potty train at 2.75 years. Didn’t take. He’d pee in the potty if we took him, but he’d also pee on the floor 5 min later. 4 weeks later, we succeeded in training ourselves to take him to the potty, but not training him to say he had to go. So we quit. Said this was too much to deal with in a pandemic and gave up. Tried again 2 months after he turned three. It was magic. The kid had one accident on day 1, then a series on day 4 when we put pants on him. Then nothing. Not one single accident in the 4 months since. Quitting is the best potty training decision we ever made. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/potty-training-failure#post-2921348 Sat, 05 Dec 2020 21:52:23 +0000 Portboston 2921348@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My son was absolutely not ready at that age. We encouraged him but he was terrified. He didn’t end up getting serious about it until he was 3 yrs and 3 months. Ex DH and I didn’t really agree on how to go about it so I ended up doing it the weekend after his vasectomy so he was unable to “help”. Worked out well and I got him day trained. Night training took another few months but I’ve had so many friends push it early and end up with years of accidents and bed wetting. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/potty-training-failure#post-2921287 Thu, 03 Dec 2020 13:22:42 +0000 HappyBaker 2921287@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@foodiebee: yes that’s the book I read! Mine wasn’t showing any interest at all though so maybe that is key. </p> <p>@bhbee: @nwm: Thanks for making me feel better about “the window”. It got so bad with him just completely freaking out about the potty we just have stopped asking for now, and will try again in a few months! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/potty-training-failure#post-2921279 Thu, 03 Dec 2020 11:19:52 +0000 nwm 2921279@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>i heard and read so much about the three day/oh crap method of potty training that i was really disappointed when my son wasn't magically potty trained in three days. both my kids (DS we waited and potty trained when he was 3 and a couple of months because he just didn't ever show any interest, DD we started right after she turned 2) just needed a couple weeks of being taken to the potty regularly and then they got it. </p> <p>i think there is absolutely nothing wrong with waiting (i certainly did with my first and have no regrets), but i also think there is no harm in building on the efforts you've made so far but taking a more gradual approach. taking a few weeks to potty train is totally normal and not that long in the grand scheme. either way, good luck ! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/potty-training-failure#post-2921273 Wed, 02 Dec 2020 22:23:59 +0000 bhbee 2921273@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@HappyBaker: I don’t agree with that window! Both my older kids trained a bit after 3 and it was pretty easy. We didn’t try to do it all at once like a 3-day but they basically knew what to do by that age, both took a bit longer for consistent pooping but I didn’t mind using a few diapers/pull-ups for that in the meantime. I’m dreading having to train my 2yo completely before her August birthday because of preschool starting. Absolutely I would back off for a bit and leave the potty out. My son also liked learning standing up and we tried the aiming at Cheerios thing. But when there’s a mental block, no way. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/potty-training-failure#post-2921270 Wed, 02 Dec 2020 22:08:12 +0000 foodiebee 2921270@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I just finished the book Oh Crap Potty Training and recommend it! Of course, my LO is 16mo, so I haven't tried it yet, but it came highly recommended by numerous friends who used its methods.</p> <p>I was, funny enough, just coming here to chat about potty training. For the past month, my 16mo son has been obsessed with the potty. He wants to watch us go the bathroom, pretend his toys are going to the bathroom, etc. Tonight, he asked to be picked up out of the bathtub, put on the potty (I held him), and then he peed. He stopped, started again, practiced, and then said he was done and went back into the bath. I was so shocked that I thought, "I need to go reread that book so that I know when to start really potty training him!" </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/potty-training-failure#post-2921143 Sun, 29 Nov 2020 09:36:11 +0000 ALV91711 2921143@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsADS: I hate that daycare has this deadline. With my first I just went with it and getting 100% trained was miserable. Pee wasn’t too bad but it took a couple years to get him pooping consistently with no accidents. With DS2 I’m not going to let some deadline for moving rooms a priority. If he’s ready then great but if not then we will wait. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/potty-training-failure#post-2921142 Sun, 29 Nov 2020 09:11:45 +0000 MrsADS 2921142@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm 100% of the school of wait till they're ready. My 5yo son had to be trained by 3 to move up classes at daycare, so we had to start when he was like 2y10m. He was NOT READY and it was terrible. He had pee accidents for another year at least and just now, at 5, is consistently pooping in the potty. (Side note: he was recently diagnosed with high functioning autism which I do think impacted his potty training)</p> <p>My other son is 2.5 and not ready. I'm not planning to try anytime soon. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/potty-training-failure#post-2921141 Sat, 28 Nov 2020 23:45:46 +0000 ALV91711 2921141@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ugh, potty training. Offering commiseration. My DS2 is 27 months and I know this is in the not so distant future for us. I’m just hoping daycare does most of the work like with DS1. </p> <p>I think waiting a bit would be a good idea. Maybe get him to sit on the potty while you fill the bath. Make him comfortable with it. There is nothing wrong with a gradual approach. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/potty-training-failure#post-2921136 Sat, 28 Nov 2020 15:41:21 +0000 Jessiemuller88 2921136@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I also let my son stand to pee, and I might have sprinkled a few Cheerios in there for motivation 😂 it helped a ton to have something for him to do while he went. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/potty-training-failure#post-2921134 Sat, 28 Nov 2020 15:37:29 +0000 HappyBaker 2921134@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh good info to have, he is 2.5 and has had zero interest in the potty! We only tried because real life friends and daycare teachers keep harping on “the window” of perfect timing being before 30 months.<br /> @Jessiemuller88: That’s great gradual worked and after work too! I think that’s what we’ll do next because this way made ALL of us miserable! We have the seats on the big toilet but he’s still scared to be up there. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/potty-training-failure#post-2921133 Sat, 28 Nov 2020 15:33:58 +0000 Jessiemuller88 2921133@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@HappyBaker: so my son didn’t do well with the 3 day, naked method, you mentioned. I ended up just doing it gradually. After work/daycare, I would immediately change him into underwear when we got home, and take him to the restroom every 45 min to an hour until bedtime. He caught on after a few weeks.</p> <p> I also skipped the little potty and just got a toilet seat with a built in for children. I’m also wondering how old he is? My son did great at 2.5, but he was uninterested/ not ready when I tried around 2. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/potty-training-failure#post-2921132 Sat, 28 Nov 2020 15:17:52 +0000 winter_wonder 2921132@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@HappyBaker: how old is he? Is he showing any signs of interest/awareness of not wanting to be wet? </p> <p>I would probably just wait and try it again another time. But, I would leave the potty out. He might take an interest on his own? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/potty-training-failure#post-2921131 Sat, 28 Nov 2020 14:17:06 +0000 HappyBaker 2921131@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We attempted to potty train DS this week and it was a total mess. We used the method where you have them naked from the waist down for the first few days. He successfully pooped in the potty twice but for pee after 3 full days he could understand that he needed to pee and do a crazy dance to hold it in, but would refuse and scream about sitting on the potty and eventually just pee everywhere. This morning we finally gave up because he was a hysterical mess because he knew he had to pee but didn’t want to do it on the potty. </p> <p>My other kids trained almost fully at daycare so we really didn’t do much besides throw some underwear on them. Now we are at a different daycare and they want him fully trained before they’ll let him wear underwear there. I feel super defeated and am not sure what to do as we don’t have many super long weekends like this one to work on it. Do we just wait and try again in like a month? 6 months? What would you do? </p>