https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 22 May 2026 14:32:33 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/power-struggles#post-2828086 Wed, 13 Jun 2018 08:51:54 +0000 2PeasinaPod 2828086@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsADS: This is us right now. DS2 will be 3 in September and he flat out refuses at home. The only time he will sit for us is just before bath. We'll let him run around diaperless just before it and he knows that he can't pee on the floor/carpet, so he'll tell us he has to go. So I know he's able to do it, he knows the sensation, he is just very strong willed and wants to do it on his time. </p> <p>@Mrs. Turtle: DS1 took a long time to train, but when he finally did, he trained for both day and night. Around 4, he started to regress and had wet underwear every night. It was strictly because he didn't want to stop playing. I don't know that this was the right way to handle things, but the only thing that worked for him was to take away privileges the next day. So we took away TV for the day. He responded well to that and it dropped to maybe only once/week. We kept following through and it disappeared. Again...every book will tell you that negative reinforcement is the wrong thing to do, but it was the only thing that worked for us. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/power-struggles#post-2828060 Wed, 13 Jun 2018 07:20:19 +0000 MrsADS 2828060@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My son will be 3 in August and REFUSES to even sit on the potty at home, and I know for him it is a total control/power thing. He will pee on the potty at daycare. He is extremely verbal and a pretty smart kid, and I know that he knows what to do - he's just choosing not to do it. I think he will probably one day just say okay, I'm going to use the potty all the time now, and that will be it.</p> <p>In the meantime, I'm not sure what I can do! I don't know how I can train him if he literally refuses to even sit on the potty (and if I push it, he starts screaming NO NO NO and having a total meltdown). And I don't want it to be a negative thing. Unfortunately he also HATES diaper changes and those are a huge fight with me having to hold him down while he's kicking and screaming. </p> <p>I'm so ready for him just to use the potty without a fight! And of course he needs to be potty trained by August/September to move up to the 3 year old class at his daycare. UGGGH </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/power-struggles#post-2828054 Wed, 13 Jun 2018 06:05:44 +0000 Adira 2828054@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We struggle with this with my youngest. We trained him right before he turned 3 and he's 3.5 now. I find it's "easiest" when I let him figure out when he needs to use the potty. If I push too much, he resists. But sometimes I have to force it more than other times when he's being particularly stubborn. I find natural consequences work best for my son. So if he comes home from daycare and I can tell he has to go potty (squirming, doing the potty dance, crossing his legs), I tell him he can't go into the living room (carpet and where he usually watches a show while I make dinner) until he goes potty. That usually seems to do the trick. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/power-struggles#post-2828052 Wed, 13 Jun 2018 05:17:50 +0000 catgirl 2828052@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We faced this a few months after DD trained. I think in large part it was because the novelty wore off. We had to go back to basics and have a strict potty schedule. We would set alarms on our phones so she would hear it was time without us saying anything. Also we gave her one mini m&amp;m if she walked to the bathroom and sat on the toilet without a fight when the alarm went off. She then got a couple more if she peed. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/power-struggles#post-2828046 Wed, 13 Jun 2018 00:31:07 +0000 DesertDreams88 2828046@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We count down for lots of things these days, so sometimes we do that to get him to the bathroom and/or while on the potty. Another thing is he loves making faces while "pushing" (pee OR poo) so we make similar faces which encourages him. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/power-struggles#post-2828044 Tue, 12 Jun 2018 23:46:20 +0000 Mrs. Turtle 2828044@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>O (2.5) has been day trained for a few months now. She's in underwear all day, including nap. She was doing great, hardly any accidents, but the last month or so she's been having pee accidents several times per week. Almost always it's when we've waited too long to have her go, so we take full responsibility. However, a lot of the time when we do want her to go she refuses. What are your tricks for convincing a strong willed toddler that she does, in fact, need to sit on the potty every hour or two? I don't want to turn this into a power struggle, and I don't think we can physically force her to pee, and even when we eventually win, she's successfully engaged us in a crazy power struggle to get to that point. Any clever tricks we haven't thought of? </p>