https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 13 Apr 2026 23:14:51 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ppd#post-270610 Fri, 24 Aug 2012 23:39:13 +0000 tryingtobehappy 270610@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Blue: that would be so nice!! I've also thought about drop in daycare... even if it was just every other week, or even once a month. I haven't taken a break since baby was born so it would be nice to have a little me time to look forward to. </p> <p>@Mrs. High Heels: you know... it's crazy. I NEVER thought it was possible to love a baby this much, but hate being their mom. It sounds so contradicting, doesn't it? I suppose it is something no one can understand unless they go thru it.</p> <p>As for DH taking the baby... well he works many nights so it's really hard. I often spend over 12 hours by myself, just baby and me at home. It gets really lonely.</p> <p>When he's home on the weekends he does help out a lot and it's really nice.</p> <p>I'm really scared to talk to my mom. We have a genuinely close relationship and for the most part I'm really open with her. But I struggled with some severe depression and suicidal thoughts/actions in high school and it was really hard to be open with her about it. Even when I did open up, I just realized how much I hurt her and I'm soo scared of disappointing her, or worrying her all over again. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ppd#post-268036 Thu, 23 Aug 2012 17:10:27 +0000 Mrs. Blue 268036@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@tryingtobehappy: So glad you talked to DH and he's being supportive. I thought of something else that might give you a break now and then. Have you looked into mother's day out programs? Often churches or other organizations will do a MDO, for a morning, afternoon, or evening. They are usually free or inexpensive. If there is something like that, you could drop off your LO and have a morning or afternoon off to get some time for a little self-care and relaxation! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ppd#post-267870 Thu, 23 Aug 2012 14:43:28 +0000 junebugmama 267870@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@tryingtobehappy: I am so glad you told him. Cheers to you for reaching out :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ppd#post-267729 Thu, 23 Aug 2012 12:40:59 +0000 Mrs. High Heels 267729@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@tryingtobehappy - i just read this thread, and i'm so glad to hear you confided in your husband and he responded in such a loving and gentle way. having that support system is the first step to getting better.</p> <p>please call that hotline or find a doctor immediately. i have a few friends that suffered severe PPD and getting that help really helped them. you are not alone... and this does NOT make you a bad mom. you have said over and over again that you love your baby... but it is an overwhelming job that nobody but you can really understand. </p> <p>maybe after your husband comes home from work each day, you can ask him to take care of the baby for a couple hours while you have some "me" time? do you have family nearby that can help with the baby? have you talked to your mom or family members about how you've been feeling?</p> <p>hang in there and big big hugs!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ppd#post-267727 Thu, 23 Aug 2012 12:39:14 +0000 Goldilocks1107 267727@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@tryingtobehappy: Reading through your responses and I'm glad you are looking at getting help and shared with your husband. </p> <p>Mine also didn't realize how bad things were for me. When he would get home, I would tell him how bad I was feeling and he would just say "Well, let me know if it gets worse." He didn't understand that I was doing the only reaching out for help I was capable of at that time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ppd#post-267722 Thu, 23 Aug 2012 12:34:34 +0000 regberadaisy 267722@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@tryingtobehappy: oh sweetie, your reply made me teared up. I'm so glad that your husband realized how serious your depression is.<br /> I was referring to you saying that you guys can't afford daycare. That perhaps there's elsewhere to get state assistance to make that feasible, offset the costs of daycare. Whether it be state funded daycare, or state assistance on healthcare, state assistance in other areas to make you working feasible. </p> <p>I think one of the most beautiful things I hear on HB is that we are not all cut out to be SAHM. Some of us are better as work out of home moms.</p> <p>*HUGS*! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ppd#post-267720 Thu, 23 Aug 2012 12:33:18 +0000 Goldilocks1107 267720@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>CALL YOUR DOCTOR. I'VE BEEN WHERE YOU ARE AND IT GETS BETTER.</p> <p>I hated being a mom, hated the last 12 months of my life and hated myself for hating my little girl. Slowly, things are getting better. Tell your doctor you need to get in TODAY. They will make it happen.</p> <p>If you have friends or family nearby, call someone right now and have them come over to help you. It's hard to admit you need help, but once you do, it's amazing how much people will rally around you to boost you up and help you out and help you get the help you need. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ppd#post-267715 Thu, 23 Aug 2012 12:29:23 +0000 yoursilverlining 267715@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Ttryingtobehappy: Wanting/needing time to yourself is completely normal - with or without a baby!! People need time to themselves, to put themselves first on a regular basis. Do you have any family/friends nearby who could take your LO for a few hours even just once a week so you could get a break? Could you afford to hire a sitter for even just 1 afternoon a week so you could get time to yourself (nursing students are GREAT for this, as they have a somewhat flexible school schedule). Or do you have skills you could barter/trade for some help?</p> <p>You also might benefit from joining a "mom and me" type group for moms and babies. You would be getting out and socializing with other adults on a regular basis, and I bet you that the other moms will understand what you are going through, and I wouldn't be surprised if other moms in the group had also dealt with PPD. Many groups are run through hospitals or birthing centers, and are totally free. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ppd#post-267696 Thu, 23 Aug 2012 12:18:12 +0000 pastemoo 267696@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@tryingtobehappy: So glad you talked to him again. I hope you can get out of the house and also get therapy and/or medicine (if the doc recommends it). Good luck! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ppd#post-267678 Thu, 23 Aug 2012 11:57:28 +0000 tryingtobehappy 267678@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@dagret: @regberadaisy: ahhh I see! I just looked it up. They don't have an income guidelines listed, but it's a sliding scale. That is something to look into. Thank you! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ppd#post-267659 Thu, 23 Aug 2012 11:45:19 +0000 dagret 267659@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@tryingtobehappy: I'm not certain what exactly @regberadaisy meant, but I'm guessing she's referring to daycare subsidies. </p> <p>if you're below certain income levels in most states you can get subsidized daycare. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ppd#post-267656 Thu, 23 Aug 2012 11:42:30 +0000 tryingtobehappy 267656@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@regberadaisy: I do think just having time to get out each week would really help. I have applied for a few jobs and am hoping the doors open for them.<br /> What do you mean by getting state assistance? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ppd#post-267652 Thu, 23 Aug 2012 11:39:38 +0000 tryingtobehappy 267652@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>thanks everyone for all the support. It really helped. This morning has been so much better, I'm feeling lighter.</p> <p>@junebugmama: I did. When DH got home from work last night he found me curled up in bed and I showed him this thread. He was so so supportive and said he hadn't realized it was this bad. He is supportive and encouraging me to get help as well and I'm looking up some counselors in my area right now. He told me I'm not alone, we're in this together and that he knows it's not my fault.</p> <p>Thanks for pushing me to talk to him ladies. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ppd#post-267575 Thu, 23 Aug 2012 10:44:29 +0000 autumnlove 267575@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thinking of you! I hope you can call the number and get some help! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ppd#post-267560 Thu, 23 Aug 2012 10:25:37 +0000 Mrs. Blue 267560@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If you had diabetes, you would never not seek a doctor's help, right? Depression is an illness, not somethig you are choosing to feel, and depression needs treatment just like any other illness. I highly recommend calling the number given, but also call your OB or go to an urgent care clinic if you don't know what doctor to call. Please don't try to feel better on your own! There'a a whole community of people here who are concerned for you and your baby and every person is saying to get help from a medical professional! It's the best thing for you and for got baby! Consider it a way that you can show how much you care for your child, despite the way you feel right now! Getting help is an act of bravery and love. Also, I would highly recommend asking te doctor for a recommendation for a therapist who us experienced in PPD.</p> <p>Don't give up on things getting better! Hugs! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ppd#post-267311 Thu, 23 Aug 2012 02:26:56 +0000 regberadaisy 267311@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't have any experience but just wanted to extend a great big hug.<br /> You are not a freak or a.bad mom! You're a fantastic mom bc you realize something is wrong and you're reaching out for help!!!!</p> <p>Do you think maybe even working part time would help you get out of the house? Have you looked into getting state assistance to make that feasible? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ppd#post-267296 Thu, 23 Aug 2012 00:09:19 +0000 BSB 267296@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@tryingtobehappy: Big hugs to you!! Admitting you have a problem is the first step. I don't have kids but I have had depression in the past and possibly have it right now but thinking you might have a problem is the first step to recovery. </p> <p>Please don't feel alone. If you don't want to talk to someone that you know, call that hotline someone suggested. If you want to see a counselor or therapist, you should be able to call up a local clinic and they should be able see you soon. You could probably talk to your doctor when you go in for your baby's next Dr's visit. They could recommend someone.</p> <p>Anyway, I'll be thinking of you. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ppd#post-267273 Wed, 22 Aug 2012 22:32:47 +0000 luckypenny 267273@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>the good news is it CAN go away AND get better, with some help. you're not alone. stay around here. use resources like the hotline, a therapist, medication, and the women here to lean on until you can get through. Taking care of you is doing whats best for your baby. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ppd#post-267270 Wed, 22 Aug 2012 22:26:04 +0000 pastemoo 267270@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Definitely call the hotline.<br /> And you are not alone.<br /> I have gone through many days of hating being a mom. I have been going to therapy and it helps a great deal.</p> <p>We are all praying for you. Please stick around here. And remember--if the baby is crying and everything is just too much, set the baby down somewhere safe (i.e. crib) and just walk away. Let the baby cry, and find somewhere to breathe.</p> <p>Even though your husband loves you, there is a part of this that he can never understand. I really hope you call the number, get some therapy and maybe something more. PPD does get better with treatment. &lt;3 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ppd#post-267266 Wed, 22 Aug 2012 22:23:40 +0000 cyndistar3 267266@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@tryingtobehappy: I learned how to do the basic feeding changing burping through the tears, I held her almost constantly because I couldn't bear her crying. I thank God she was such an easy baby, she was usually content unless there was something wrong. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ppd#post-267265 Wed, 22 Aug 2012 22:21:43 +0000 tryingtobehappy 267265@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@anacarlin: I thought it may have been baby blues... and that it would go away... but it's gotten worse. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ppd#post-267261 Wed, 22 Aug 2012 22:18:11 +0000 Grace 267261@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@tryingtobehappy: I just wanted to send you a hug. You aren't a freak - I know lots and lots of moms who didn't feel like they were "supposed to". But remember that your hormones have gone through the wringer. They get wonky and cause all kinds of problems. This isn't something that you should have to go through and especially not alone. I hope you take the other ladies' advice and call the line. You are not a bad mom!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ppd#post-267260 Wed, 22 Aug 2012 22:17:00 +0000 luckypenny 267260@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I saw that you also posted something along these lines 4 months ago. I want you to know you're not alone. I agree with everything the women before me have said. Don't feel guilty. DO call that number. There are so many resources for women who don't have a doctor/friend/family who can be there for them. Heck, you can call me! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ppd#post-267259 Wed, 22 Aug 2012 22:15:46 +0000 tryingtobehappy 267259@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@cyndistar3: what did you do with your daughter? seriously I'd love to stay holed up in bed... but with a baby to take care of??! not happening. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ppd#post-267255 Wed, 22 Aug 2012 22:09:11 +0000 cyndistar3 267255@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh I know how you feel, I had my first daughter when I was 15 years old and the first 6 months of her life was the worst time of my life ever! Sure I loved her but I also seriously thought about giving her up. It started off as what you describe but I brushed it off as baby blues, then it only got worse. I hated myself so completely, there wasn't a day that I didn't think about killing myself and I got to the point where I was sleeping 3 hours tops at night. The only time I ever left my room was to grab something to eat, I would just sit and cry in my room all day. Dh and I weren't married at that point and even when he was around it didn't help because he certainly didn't understand it! Finally I gave in and went to the doctor because I started having hallucinations, he prescribed me anti-depressants and it definitely helped me get my head on straight. Though I definitely wish I would have gotten counseling instead of just using medication to just cover the actual problem. Please get help, call that number or something, don't just let it go if doesn't have to be like this I promise! You will be in my prayers :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ppd#post-267251 Wed, 22 Aug 2012 21:58:40 +0000 CupQuakeWalk 267251@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>You're not a freak and no one is allowed to hate you for how you feel.*hugs*<br /> However, it is your responsibility to yourself,your child and your husband to tell someone and get help. Please please pleaaasse tell someone who can help. You deserve to be happy and your baby deserves to have a happy momma:)<br /> Keep telling your husband, tell friends, tell grandparents...anyone who can help or lead you to help.<br /> Best wishes! And please: I am not kidding, of you need to talk-use me. I can be hear for you:) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ppd#post-267247 Wed, 22 Aug 2012 21:55:21 +0000 Mrs. Yoyo 267247@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@tryingtobehappy: I've had a hard time adjusting to being a SAHM. You are *so* not alone in that. It's grueling, and I've also had moments where I've hated motherhood.</p> <p>What's troubling is that it seems like that's not just *some* moments for you. But here's the thing: Having PPD is an illness, and it ISN'T YOUR FAULT. Period. Don't be disappointed in yourself for needing help. </p> <p>Please call that number! THAT would be something to be straight-up proud of. We are all here for you. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ppd#post-267241 Wed, 22 Aug 2012 21:50:07 +0000 junebugmama 267241@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@tryingtobehappy: You may end up loving it. Right now you just aren't capable of that. Don't beat yourself up. PPD is not something you can control. Very basic treatment can help change your opinion on your situation. That's why it's so important. </p> <p>Your husband needs to understand what you are going through. You shouldn't feel ashamed, but that is the worse reason not to communicate what is going on to your spouse. You need someone. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ppd#post-267238 Wed, 22 Aug 2012 21:45:47 +0000 tryingtobehappy 267238@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@junebugmama: I just don't know if I could do that... I can't imagine what he would think of me. I feel soo soo ashamed. I always thought I would love being a mom. I'm so disappointed in myself for not loving it like I should.</p> <p>I honestly don't know what I want or need right now.<br /> but honestly, this thread is helping me... just to get it out there. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ppd#post-267236 Wed, 22 Aug 2012 21:43:26 +0000 junebugmama 267236@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@tryingtobehappy: dies is where the problem is. Do you need me to call you? do you just need someone to speak with? </p> <p>Perhaps you should show your husband this thread so he understands how serious you are. </p>