https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 04 Jun 2026 14:09:20 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pre-k-boyfriends-girlfriends#post-2820907 Mon, 07 May 2018 18:19:28 +0000 Mrs. Goose 2820907@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I’m just going to put it out there that I had a serious boyfriend-as serious as it can be at that age-at age 6. Also, there was another boy that liked me. Anyway, I can tell you that I was holding hands, hugging, and we were smooching too, sometimes under the covers during a hide and seek game. As a parent (to both a boy and a girl) now, that makes me slightly alarmed. I don’t think my mum knew we were smooching under the blankets. We were very good friends with the family and I was in love until we moved across the world and even then we kept up our romance with little gifts and cards for about half a year. </p> <p>I have no idea what kids would be doing these days. Hopefully all innocent things, but there is a lot of media influence around and I’m sure it’s a good idea to just have open conversations with your kids about all kinds of stuff whenever you can. </p> <p>Example: My daughter doesn’t know how babies get inside you, but she does know they usually come out of your vagina and that she has one. She’s 2.5. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pre-k-boyfriends-girlfriends#post-2820782 Mon, 07 May 2018 11:47:10 +0000 Becky 2820782@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree that it’s normal, but difficult to navigate when the kids have a widely varied spectrum of knowledge. My DD,4.5, has no idea what “boyfriend and girlfriend” mean which I am very happy with, but others in her class do. There is one little boy who says my DD is his girlfriend which is fine whatever, but what makes me uncomfortable is that his mom (who I do like) asks him about it (“Who’s your girlfriend? Did you kiss her?”). DD also told me another boy said she’s his girlfriend, and that was a very short conversation because it was very apparent she had no idea that meant something. The one other time this came up I basically answered with “Oh, X is your friend? What do you like about playing with him?” And she said something about he shares his dinosaurs. </p> <p>I do think it’s a good point about having the teachers keep an eye on it. Our teacher isn’t there the full 9-10 hours DD is there and there are support staff who are much younger who I could see encouraging it as “cute.”</p> <p>That being said I absolutely had a crush on a boy when I was 4 (maybe even younger), but I hope I can keep DD’s head in the clouds a little longer. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pre-k-boyfriends-girlfriends#post-2820765 Mon, 07 May 2018 11:16:01 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2820765@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Truth Bombs: that's about how deep our conversations go too! </p> <p>Also, I came back to read the other responses and am cracking up reading that I wrote panick. I hope I'm not always that out of it but since having the last baby I'm not so sure! 😂 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pre-k-boyfriends-girlfriends#post-2820763 Mon, 07 May 2018 11:04:30 +0000 MrsRoo 2820763@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@tlynne: That makes sense, that she can't explain it because she doesn't understand it. I do ask her specific things about her day, like who she palyed with on the playground, what song they sang in circle time, what she colored. All met with a sigh and her telling me that she doesn't want to talk about her day. She of course decides ses ready to tell me all about it at bedtime. lol</p> <p>@Mama Bird: Maybe you are hitting on what made me uncomfortable. It's a little out of left field for her, and it was this boys idea to be her boyfriend. She doesn't talk about him a lot and didn't want to invite him to her birthday party a couple weeks ago. We do talk about our bodies being our own and she knows that if someone doesn't want to be touched that we respect that, and vice versa if she doesn't want to be touched (hugged, tickled, etc) that when she says no, it means no. </p> <p>@justjules: Yep. That's why I came here. I can sense that I'm projecting my ideas of a BF/GF onto these kids and I don't want to do that. But we register for K tomorrow and it just feels like she's growing up so fast. I could just be being sensitive to the idea of her growing up. </p> <p>Thanks for reasurring me that this is all normal kid stuff, ladies :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pre-k-boyfriends-girlfriends#post-2820753 Mon, 07 May 2018 10:29:30 +0000 Truth Bombs 2820753@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My 5 year old has been saying for years that she is going to marry one of her classmates. He lives in our neighborhood and his mom is my friend so we see them all the time. He says he's going to marry her too. They play together a ton but that's about it. Whenever she brings it up I just tell her that she has a long time before she needs to worry about getting married, and that when she's ready she should marry someone who is kind to her and makes her happy and then I leave it alone. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pre-k-boyfriends-girlfriends#post-2820751 Mon, 07 May 2018 10:16:20 +0000 justjules 2820751@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is a little different but my son- who is only 2.5- kept mentioning a girl named "Abigail" from his class.<br /> Finally I asked him who Abigail was and he (totally unprompted) legit swooned "ooooh Abigail is so cute!....*sigh* She looks like a princess!" </p> <p>I couldn't help but laugh because it seems like he has a little crush. I didn't make it a big deal, but I couldn't believe at such a young age he is noticing girls. </p> <p>I agree with PP about not projecting adult notions of what a BF/GF is- although I must say it seems kids are growing up faster. I mentored some 4th graders last year and they were talking about their boyfriend's in such adult terms (oh he cheated on her etc) and I just remember being such a dweeb in 4th grade. They seemed so much older. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pre-k-boyfriends-girlfriends#post-2820749 Mon, 07 May 2018 10:06:02 +0000 Mama Bird 2820749@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I haven't heard that specific word, and it doesn't seem to be a thing in DS's class. He has told me he wants to marry his best friend, but doesn't seem to have a clue what that means - when I told him marrying involves a lot more than being best buddies, he pouted and said: "fine, if I can't marry G I'll marry YOU instead!" :grin: </p> <p>I do remember having a kindergarten "boyfriend" myself - again, no one used the word, but this boy followed me around all the time, which annoyed me so much. It was all silly but no big deal.</p> <p>The only thing that sounds concerning is, this "boyfriend" thing seems to be the boy's idea, the kissing seems to be his idea... does your daughter know it's OK to say she's not interested in any of that? The whole idea could be so out of left field for her, that she may be going along with it because she's not sure how to respond. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pre-k-boyfriends-girlfriends#post-2820731 Mon, 07 May 2018 09:00:28 +0000 Ajsmommy 2820731@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't think this a big deal or needs to be made into a big deal. DD is 4 and she's mentioned a boyfriend once or twice. One time she even said "xyz wants to marry her". She also says she wants to marry her brother... sooooo... obviously she/they don't mean it in any harmful way. It's just a way they are expressing their feelings. And they see their parents/adult friends/cousins having boyfriends or girlfriends and being married. So I think it's completely normal and wouldn't even draw attention to it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pre-k-boyfriends-girlfriends#post-2820725 Mon, 07 May 2018 08:39:16 +0000 Adira 2820725@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't think this is something to be concerned about. My 5 year old has multiple girlfriends and the girls all have multiple boyfriends. I don't think it really means anything beyond having a friend of the opposite sex. Xanders boy friends are all just "my best friends" and then his girl friends are all "my girlfriends." I don't make a big deal about it and neither does he. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pre-k-boyfriends-girlfriends#post-2820705 Mon, 07 May 2018 06:16:50 +0000 tlynne 2820705@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>She likely can't explain "boyfriend" because she is too little to really know what it means. I wouldnt make a big deal out of it. I really think it is a term kids use to feel grown up and they have no real understanding or expectation. Kids this age play at having a boyfriend or girlfriend to try to make sense of what they see in the adult world and it is almoat always completely innocent. My first grader said for most of the year that he had a "girlfriend" but it was just a little girl that he thought was nice. That is, until she tried to get him in trouble one day and he came hime saying he did not like her after that lol. To me, it is no different from the way kids are friends one day, fighting the next, and then friends again. As far as not telling you about her day, she may not fully realize what you are asking. Try being more specific (ie, what did you make in art today? What book did your teacher read today?) so that she understands what you mean. Little kids tend to think that their parents already know a lot more about their days than we actually do, lol. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pre-k-boyfriends-girlfriends#post-2820637 Sun, 06 May 2018 11:52:22 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2820637@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsRoo: if it's any consolation, my dh reacted a little more to it. :silly: I figure it can't hurt to talk about things now since it's still part of her world even though she doesn't have a real boyfriend and won't for awhile.. it's still happening around her. At the same time I don't think we need to panick or over-explain if that makes sense. I can see why you feel that way, with how early things happen to girls these days. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pre-k-boyfriends-girlfriends#post-2820636 Sun, 06 May 2018 11:47:58 +0000 MrsRoo 2820636@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@crazydoglady: @autumnleaves: thank you. I’ll definitley be asking her teacher about it. They are really good about keeping parents in the loop, so I’m assuming this is really innocent. </p> <p>@Corduroy: @2littlepumpkins: thanks! I know it’s normal development and probably way more innocent than I think. I just panicked thinking about helping my two girls navigate relationships, lol- I guess I’m getting ahead of myself! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pre-k-boyfriends-girlfriends#post-2820632 Sun, 06 May 2018 11:07:39 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2820632@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We have conversations as they naturally come up about family etc. but that's about as directed as we go for now. My daughter has done this and I vaguely remember saying the same thing. Seems normal to me, we talked briefly about it but never made a big deal out of it. She stopped saying it after awhile. She didn't think of boyfriend in the way adults do though. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pre-k-boyfriends-girlfriends#post-2820630 Sun, 06 May 2018 10:50:05 +0000 Corduroy 2820630@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsRoo: My DD has had a great interest in one boy at preschool since she was 3.5. She told me she and some other girls faught over who gets to marry him and she won. For months her happiness at school depended on how much this little boy played with her. Obviously that was an issue. The teachers were all very aware and did everything they could to separate the kids and get DD interested in other activities. The kids still always find ways to be together but can be separated now. They will go to different Ks and I am looking forward to that change. </p> <p>It’s normal for my family. I had a “boyfriend” in K and my grandma got called to the principal’s office because my mom wouldnt stop kissing boys in K. Both my mom and i grew up to be late bloomers with normal relationships. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pre-k-boyfriends-girlfriends#post-2820627 Sun, 06 May 2018 10:12:11 +0000 autumnleaves 2820627@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Another mom in the 3 year old class told me her daughter tells her she has a different boyfriend in the class every week and often it is my son. My son is clueless about it and I think he’s daughter is just pretending. Definitely ask the teacher though. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pre-k-boyfriends-girlfriends#post-2820621 Sun, 06 May 2018 09:35:12 +0000 crazydoglady 2820621@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsRoo: I would casually contact the teacher and tell her what's going on and ask if she has noticed anything bordering inappropriate. My guess is it's all very innocent. I had a "boyfriend" in kindergarten and I remember it just involved playing on the monkey bars at the same time. :silly: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pre-k-boyfriends-girlfriends#post-2820619 Sun, 06 May 2018 08:54:22 +0000 MrsRoo 2820619@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: that’s what I want to be careful of. If it’s innocent to her, I don’t want to make it a bigger deal by projecting my adult interpretation of “boyfriend” onto her. I still remember my first crush from pre k. And I also cringe a bit at babies “flirting”. I try to stay away from that terminology. </p> <p>We asked and the boy told her about being a boyfriend. She said they don’t kiss because they aren’t allowed to kiss in school. But they do hold hands. And she only has 1 boyfriend. We do talk about privacy often. Hopefully that’s sinking in. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pre-k-boyfriends-girlfriends#post-2820617 Sun, 06 May 2018 08:07:15 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2820617@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Where did she get that term from? How would she know to label her opposite sex friend her “boyfriend”. I would start there. I feel like adults sexualize children long before they do. I cringe when women say LO is flirting with them. No, he’s being playful because you’re showing him attention. Same as when guys do. The only person I have corrected so far is my SIL, because as a child counselor I feel she should know better. Who knows maybe I’m wrong and kids really do have romantic feelings at this age? </p> <p>LO’s daycare director said kids under 5 when they show &amp; touch each other’s private areas its age appropriate exploration. So if anything I would likely have a conversation about privacy and touching. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pre-k-boyfriends-girlfriends#post-2820614 Sun, 06 May 2018 07:36:04 +0000 MrsRoo 2820614@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Dd1 just turned 5 and is in VPK. She told DH the other day that she has a boyfriend in her class. She won’t really tell us what that means, just that they hold hands sometimes and give hugs. :shocked: </p> <p>I’m not ready for “boyfriends”! Does anyone else’s LO have a boyfriend/girlfriend around this age? Any tips on talking to your kids about it? She doesn’t like to even tell me much about her day at school, so she DEFINITELY doesn’t want to tell me about her little boyfriend. And maybe it’s much more innocent than my mom brain is thinking. So I don’t want to make it a bigger deal than it is. But maybe we need to be having more directed conversations about boys already? </p>