https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 28 Apr 2026 00:31:41 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pregnancy-after-a-loss-how-do-you-stay-calm#post-1655347 Fri, 23 May 2014 13:48:25 +0000 simplyfelicity 1655347@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@septca: That is the reason I am waiting until Monday to test as I will be about 16 or 17 dpo (this is naturally an estimate based on O cramps, CM and FF as I wasn't charting this month.) </p> <p>In terms of miscarriage statistics, I "liked" this site.<br /> <a href="http://www.pregnancyloss.info/info-howcommon.htm" rel="nofollow">http://www.pregnancyloss.info/info-howcommon.htm</a></p> <p>@MOJ: This is such a great question and something I wonder myself as I had a CP last month and am back to trying this month...I POAS on Monday. I am going to try my darndest to focus on hope, have faith in my body and enjoy the moment. It's going to be a struggle but I believe that every pregnancy deserves joy and love even if it doesn't go to full-term. Whatever happens, I am just giving this to God as I believe it is where it belongs. I honestly don't think there is a tried-and-true answer or method to dealing with this--just whatever works for that particular mamma.<br /> Best of luck to you and prayers for peace. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pregnancy-after-a-loss-how-do-you-stay-calm#post-1655280 Fri, 23 May 2014 13:15:46 +0000 Tidybee 1655280@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I only found out 2 days ago that I'm pregnant...3 months exactly after my D&amp;c for a missed miscarriage. Even my hcg levels were doubling so I feel like I can't even count on that. I'm staying calm by being in a state of denial and not getting too excited of thinking too far into the future. I just remind myself that what is meant to happen will and I have very little control over it. I'll take my vitamins, stop drinking, all those this you're supposed to do because my body will take care of this pregnancy the way it's supposed to (and if that means miscarriage, well that sucks).<br /> I'm sorry if this sounds cold and distant because as Happy as I am about this pregnancy, I just can not let myself get too attached just yet. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pregnancy-after-a-loss-how-do-you-stay-calm#post-1655199 Fri, 23 May 2014 12:51:26 +0000 deactivated_account 1655199@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm sending you positive thoughts! :heart: I </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pregnancy-after-a-loss-how-do-you-stay-calm#post-1655193 Fri, 23 May 2014 12:50:03 +0000 magnolia 1655193@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Just want to say I am sending you positive thoughts. I had two m/c, one at 6w and a mmc at 12 weeks. I am 12 weeks today and everything is looking good. I was a nervous wreck and still am butI feel a little calmer now. Seeing the baby on the u/s getting bigger helped and the u/s tech at my OB is really nice. She told me to talk to the baby everyday, which helps me a lot. Sounds like you are taking it day by day which I think is the best advice. Good luck :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pregnancy-after-a-loss-how-do-you-stay-calm#post-1655170 Fri, 23 May 2014 12:41:43 +0000 night cheese 1655170@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm 30 weeks and am still a giant ball of anxiety after one ectopic pregnancy and a vanishing twin with my current pregnancy, so I don't know what to tell you. It did get a lot better when I finally started feeling the baby move but I still freak out if I don't feel it in there for a while.</p> <p>So, I guess just give it time, and don't beat yourself up for being nervous. It's normal. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pregnancy-after-a-loss-how-do-you-stay-calm#post-1655142 Fri, 23 May 2014 12:31:43 +0000 blackbird 1655142@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wish i had a good answer for you. I had two, at 12 and 7 weeks and I was not calm at all. My OB"s office was great about giving me scans every other week and my anxiety lessened gradually. But...There wasn't much I could do. I would definitely push for an earlier scan if you can get it. It can alleviate a lot of stress </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pregnancy-after-a-loss-how-do-you-stay-calm#post-1655136 Fri, 23 May 2014 12:29:30 +0000 mlm2934 1655136@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had a missed miscarriage at 9 weeks. Honestly, at least for me, calm didn't exist. It was physically impossible. I would breath a little easier at certain points, 9 weeks with heartbeat, 12 weeks good ultrasound, etc. but it took until I felt movement every day to let go and relax. Hugs! It's so hard in the beginning to trust in good things, hope the time passes quickly for you. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pregnancy-after-a-loss-how-do-you-stay-calm#post-1655021 Fri, 23 May 2014 11:54:39 +0000 septca 1655021@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have not yet gotten pregnant after my loss, but I already know that this will be a problem for me, so I come armed with a plan:</p> <p>It seems cold and calculating, but I cope much better with stats and numbers. For example, doctors think that as many as 50% of "pregnancies" end before a woman who even know she missed her period. So until I am at about 16-17 DPO, I understand that anything can happen... then your risk goes down with each week and each milestone (seeing the heartbeat, hearing the heartbeat, getting a good NT scan, having a good AS, etc.), so each week I can tell myself, there is a 5% chance of mc after you have seen the heartbeat... that means there is a **95%** chance that everything will be fine. Keeping those things in perspective really helps me (and worked with my first pregnancy, when I was dealing with the scars of IF and terrified we would have to start again).</p> <p>Of course, this only works if your doctor is willing to schedule you for a series of u/s. Based on your previous loss, I'd ask for a scan around 6-8 weeks instead of waiting. And big, huge ((hugs.)) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pregnancy-after-a-loss-how-do-you-stay-calm#post-1655012 Fri, 23 May 2014 11:51:14 +0000 MaryM 1655012@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Have you told anyone you're pregnant?</p> <p>I haven't yet experience the second pregnancy, but I was scared to death with my first (that I ended up MCing) and the one thing that always calmed my anxiety was to talk to one of the few people we'd told (my mom, SIL, one of three close friends) and let them know how I was feeling.</p> <p>They were awesome and full of support and would help me turn my outlook around super fast. </p> <p>And if you're at all religious, it also helped when some of these people could promise me they'd pray for us. When I got super anxious, I tried to find a prayer somewhere. Somehow I couldn't feel that I was "worthy" enough to pray myself, but the prayers of those I leaned on most meant a ton to me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pregnancy-after-a-loss-how-do-you-stay-calm#post-1654993 Fri, 23 May 2014 11:45:37 +0000 lilteacherbee 1654993@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had the same situation as you- missed m/c at 9 weeks. When I got pregnant again, I was a hot mess. I was so anxious and worried about everything and for the first few weeks, I tried so hard not to get attached (of course it didn't work).</p> <p>My doctor took me in for an earlier ultrasound and anther at 9 weeks (I had an appointment scheduled for the same point in pregnancy that we found out about the m/c). I was so glad that my doctors listened to my concern. Also, I had a fetal heart monitor which really calmed my nerves.</p> <p>Other than that, I just had to try to let it go. I knew that worrying about it wouldn't accomplish anything but stressing me out. I believed that my baby deserved to be celebrated no matter what, so I tried super hard to just be happy. It was tough, but t got easier as time went on, especially when I started feeling him move.</p> <p>Congratulations!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pregnancy-after-a-loss-how-do-you-stay-calm#post-1654710 Fri, 23 May 2014 10:05:49 +0000 Cherrybee 1654710@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I felt the same way when I was pregnant again after a CP. I paid for an early ultrasound at 7 weeks and once I had heard the heartbeat I felt much better. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pregnancy-after-a-loss-how-do-you-stay-calm#post-1654692 Fri, 23 May 2014 09:57:45 +0000 Honeygold89 1654692@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Honestly it's hard not to especially early on but you have to just do the best u can and try to find positive things to focus on and believe me it's easier said than done. I told DH that every appt all the way until my last one which was the day before I want into labor I would be so nervous that something would be wrong but it all worked out and my son just hit 14 weeks yesterday. Sorry I don't have a better answer but congrats and have a very H&amp;H 9 months filled with sticky baby dust </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pregnancy-after-a-loss-how-do-you-stay-calm#post-1654518 Fri, 23 May 2014 09:06:47 +0000 mfa_lady 1654518@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@sheskrafty: @catlady: Your post-missed MC success stories make me so happy, y'all. Thank you for sharing! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pregnancy-after-a-loss-how-do-you-stay-calm#post-1654509 Fri, 23 May 2014 09:04:47 +0000 catlady 1654509@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was in your exact shoes. It is hard. I don't have any magic solution, you just need to wait it out. Hugs! It does get better as time goes on. For me, it was very reassuring once I could feel the baby moving. I still worried, but not nearly as much. We traveled and ate out quite a bit during my pregnancy, and I found that helpful to get my mind off things. I tried to treat myself very well.</p> <p>Some women like to use fetal heart monitors, so you might find those helpful (I never used them, but only b/c I thought it would stress me out more if I couldn't find the heartbeat).</p> <p>If it helps to hear a positive story, I had a missed miscarriage found at 10 weeks and went on to have a healthy pregnancy and healthy baby.</p> <p>Congratulations on your pregnancy! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pregnancy-after-a-loss-how-do-you-stay-calm#post-1654489 Fri, 23 May 2014 09:01:13 +0000 sheskrafty 1654489@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It is very difficult to stay calm. I had a missed miscarriage and then got pregnant and it took a while to relax. I was slower to tell people I was pregnant that time around and was always scared MC would happen again. </p> <p>Eventually I realized my body was designed to grow a baby and I had to give up control. You have to think good and healthy thoughts and put your baby before your own concerns. While the skepticism/hesitation never fully went away until I held her, it dramatically decreased once I realized I was not in control anymore. For me, it started being easier when I could start to feel the baby move. </p> <p>I'm not sure if any of that makes sense. But best wishes to you and try to enjoy the experience as best you can!! I promise it will get easier!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pregnancy-after-a-loss-how-do-you-stay-calm#post-1654482 Fri, 23 May 2014 08:59:48 +0000 mfa_lady 1654482@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hey, lady. I'm so sorry you're going through this. Also, congratulations!</p> <p>I totally get what you're saying--I am 7w4d today, and had a missed miscarriage last fall (found out at 11 weeks). It is so tough, especially after a missed miscarriage, because all of the things people usually say ("Oh, you're not bleeding? You're not cramping? You're fine!") aren't even helpful after your experience.</p> <p>A dear friend of mine told me a couple of weeks ago, when I was stressing out right after I found out I was pregnant, that it's so much better to focus on the joy. And, as hard as that is, she's so right! There isn't anything, unfortunately, we can do to change the outcomes this early, and so it's healthier for us and our babes to focus on the joy! Easier said than done, though, I know. </p> <p>Another thing to consider is asking your OB/midwife practice to get you in a bit sooner for an ultrasound this time. My practice doesn't usually do them until the end of the first tri, which meant I didn't find out until 11 weeks. This time, they're getting me in at 8 weeks (next week!) for peace of mind. </p> <p>I will be thinking about you as you go on this journey again--wall me if you want to talk! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pregnancy-after-a-loss-how-do-you-stay-calm#post-1654464 Fri, 23 May 2014 08:54:04 +0000 Mrs. Jump Rope 1654464@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm sorry you feel this way. It's very nerve wracking and unsettling. </p> <p>I wish I had profound advice for you. I'm 25w with our second, and still worry over every little twinge. It's difficult to stay positive, and I felt very disconnected to this pregnancy for the longest time. I was scared to get attached and then something happen. </p> <p>Around 20w, we had a scare and it sent me into the ER. I sobbed, and it was the first time I really let myself FEEL. I realized how connected I already was, and how much I loved her. It was like I suppressed these thoughts in effort to protect myself. I ended up feeing angry that I'd wasted 20w of happiness and joy over something I can't even control.</p> <p>Now I try to enjoy my pregnancy. I want to make the most of it because it does deserve to be celebrated. </p> <p>I hope you find peace! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pregnancy-after-a-loss-how-do-you-stay-calm#post-1654451 Fri, 23 May 2014 08:49:40 +0000 MOJ 1654451@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am 5 weeks pregnant. Since I found out last week, all I can do is worry, because my last pregnancy was a missed misscarriage (found out at 9 weeks). </p> <p>For those who have dealt with miscarriages before and then gotten pregnant again, what do you do to stay calm? How do you keep yourself from living in fear.</p> <p>I keep reminding myself "Today I am pregnant". But I feel like a walking ball of nerves. </p> <p>Any ideas/support is appreciated. </p>