https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 19 Apr 2026 03:15:28 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pregnancy-and-impact-on-career-1#post-2702439 Fri, 24 Feb 2017 10:34:21 +0000 cityliving 2702439@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@azjax: I'm really sorry you had to deal with such unsupportive colleagues. I (currently) work at a large firm and while I found the senior management very unsupportive (most of their kids are all grown up and their wives stayed at home so they just have no idea) I have been so greatful for the (few) other female colleagues who have been through it that all banded together. Our HR is not consistent with what they tell people about leave so it was really nice to have a group that would straight talk it and tell you what other people had been able to ask for and the most senior women in the group was able to get us a second lactation room when our first was overbooked. I'm not actually worried about "mommy brain" after I return - I actually think I'm a much more efficient worker now that I have a child. I'm just worried about it during pregnancy. I'm really sorry you had trouble pumping at work by the way, it is definitely a really hard thing to time manage, especially if you have to coordinate room use with other colleagues, have a lot of meetings, or are off-site a lot etc. Thanks for the encouragement, I'm starting to get a little excited about the challenge and am gearing up to give it my all. I suppose it can't be any harder then working while being in the first trimester with a toddler at home and coordinating a move and renovating a house ;-) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pregnancy-and-impact-on-career-1#post-2701424 Wed, 22 Feb 2017 22:35:23 +0000 azjax 2701424@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@cityliving: so I faced (and continue to face) a fair amount of negative judgement and sexism from my colleagues, even the young ones! However, I was extraordinarily organized, focused, and productive during my pregnancy and really demonstrated my value with my work product. I think you can do this, too! Honestly, "mommy brain" wasn't a problem for me at all once I came back to work. My biggest challenge was managing to pump at work, and I wish I had gone in with a better plan. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pregnancy-and-impact-on-career-1#post-2701406 Wed, 22 Feb 2017 21:39:37 +0000 cityliving 2701406@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@bloved Sigh. I really wish these things could be scheduled on off hours more easily. Sorry the second half of your pregnancy required so much extra monitoring!</p> <p>@NELLYWM Thanks so much, this was really encouraging! I'm really glad to hear your workplace was so supportive and you were able to set a precedent for your office. I can't believe anyone would make a mommy brain joke, that's awful even in jest. I don't think it effected my output, but I do recall having trouble recalling some words on the fly. Not a huge deal, but coupled with being tired and trying to prove myself, and the general stress of meeting new coworkers and learning how a new company operates (I've been at my current job for over 7 years and have probably gotten a little complacent) I do worry about not being able to perform at peak performance. I suppose there are always events that distract us though and at least the second trimester will probably be the easiest stage to be starting in. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pregnancy-and-impact-on-career-1#post-2701088 Wed, 22 Feb 2017 10:11:49 +0000 nwm 2701088@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I also work in a male-dominated field and job where long hours are valued, so just wanted to offer a few words of encouragement! I have definitely experienced self-imposed stress from pregnancy (and even more so from parenting) when I can't do everything I once did at my job. For the most part, everyone at work has been incredibly supportive of everything, but there is also a degree to which I find the men I work with are oblivious to what you might be going through and wind up unintentionally being difficult.</p> <p>I'm sure you will figure out a good balance, and I echo the prior posters that six months is more time than you might think to make a positive impression. My advice, though, would be to be super up-front about everything. You could tell people on a pretty normal schedule (maybe not your first day, but I wouldn't necessarily wait until 5 months, especially if you're showing by then) and just be straight up about it--I know I just started here, but I'm very dedicated to being at this job for the long term, and I am committed to demonstrating my value before I go out on leave.</p> <p>At the end of the day, even four months of leave passes really quickly and as soon as you're back people will forget you were out. Also, to the extent that your field is not as accommodating of women having families than it should be (I know mine is not), sometimes it helps to remember that by taking a stand and taking a full leave, etc., you are normalizing that choice for other women who work with you or may come after you! I felt fairly isolated when I went out on maternity leave, but when I was around 7 months pregnant, like 4 other attorneys I work with announced they were pregnant and I felt good that we were all in it together.</p> <p>Also, CONGRATULATIONS on the pregnancy and the new job! Sounds like some exciting stuff happening! :grin:</p> <p>ETA: Did you experience "mommy brain" while at work with your first? I heard a few jokes about it at work and was pretty adamant about shutting them down immediately. Exhaustion was of course always something to contend with, but I never felt like my brain wasn't working the way it always has. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pregnancy-and-impact-on-career-1#post-2700990 Wed, 22 Feb 2017 08:12:37 +0000 bloved 2700990@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@cityliving: I told my boss when I was 15 weeks pregnant and talked to HR around 20 weeks. I wanted to wait to talk to my boss until I had at least 1 or 2 observations under my belt. </p> <p>I definitely agree with others about trying to find a dr with evening hours. My dr only had evening hours 1 day a week. At my 20 week I became "higher risk" and had to go for 1 x a week stress tests and u/s (and 2x a week once I hit 30 weeks) and the high risk place could only do that in during work hours. It was so infuriating!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pregnancy-and-impact-on-career-1#post-2700478 Tue, 21 Feb 2017 09:11:07 +0000 cityliving 2700478@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@bloved: I'm definitely an anxious person by nature, so this was a good reminder to not get in my head too much with all of this. Thank you! How soon did you talk to hr and supervisors? If possible, I was thinking about trying to hide it until 5 months so that they would have two months of work demonstrated before discussing it with them. My first was a VBAC so I think I would only get 6 weeks if this goes as planned which I just don't think I could do. I had complications in my last few weeks as well and needed to go in for monitoring 2x a week at the end which is definitely fresh in my memory.</p> <p>@LBEE that's really encouraging to hear, thank you! I may just be letting my memory of my last few weeks of pregnancy be driving my memory of how I felt. I just remember eating a lot of wasabi peas when working late to keep me awake and hoping my water broke on people's shoes on the subway when all I wanted was to sit...<br /> @T.H.O.U. I'm definitely hoping to find something by my new office. Unfortunately, I need a high-risk doctor and they tend to be located closer to the hospitals. I think at best my hours will be 9-6/7 if not going until closer until 11pm some nights so unfortunately I'm not sure afternoon appointments would work out any better. I do daycare dropoffs so my husband can do pickups (and I can work late) so morning appointments wouldn't be great either. :bummed: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pregnancy-and-impact-on-career-1#post-2700457 Tue, 21 Feb 2017 08:32:22 +0000 T.H.O.U. 2700457@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Im sorry. One thing to think about would be to look into an OB office that maybe has evening or weekend hours? I know leaving work for appointments is very stressful. I always tried to take the 4:30 appointment (even though the OB was always late at that point) and not miss much work. Versus a lunch appointment were I was stressing about getting back into the office. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pregnancy-and-impact-on-career-1#post-2700453 Tue, 21 Feb 2017 08:28:43 +0000 LBee 2700453@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I did this. At the meeting where I got the job offer I responded with, "I want to provide full disclosure that I'm pregnant." I work for a small company in an older, male dominated profession and honestly it worked out lovely. Similar to @bloved: I proceeded to have a complicated pregnancy (bed rest at the end due to bleeding), but we all had the mentale that I was the right hire for the long term and that pregnancy is just a part of life. 3 years later and I'm still working here. </p> <p>FWIW, I didn't find pregnancy to really impact my work product until the end. First tri is hard, but I went on Zofran immediately (before all the scandals) and never had true exhaustion. I actually think becoming a parent is what impacted it the most and since you are already a parent, you already know that "groove." </p> <p>6 months is a long time. I was 2 months pregnant when I started my job and my boss said the 8 weeks I was out reminded him how much I already do to make his life easier. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pregnancy-and-impact-on-career-1#post-2700421 Tue, 21 Feb 2017 05:55:13 +0000 bloved 2700421@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>A similar thing happened to me, and I am not going to lie- it was hard! My boss was lovely about it, but when it came down to it, HR was a stickler about leave time. Originally they wanted me to take only 4 weeks(!) and I almost had a heart attack. Thankfully (?) I had a c-section and my doctor signed me out medically for 8 weeks, but I was stressed the entire time as to whether or not that would be allowed or if they could somehow demand come back sooner. On top of all that, my pregnancy had some complications so I had to take off quite a bit of time for doctor appointments that made me feel stressed (even though, again, everyone was very nice about it).</p> <p>So really, a lot of the stress was self-generated because I felt so bad about the situation. My advice would be- you can't change it, so own it. And also meet with HR and really hammer out the details of what you expect in terms of leave.</p> <p>Also, while it felt short at the time, I do think in 6 months they will get a good idea of your abilities, dedication, etc. </p> <p>Good luck! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pregnancy-and-impact-on-career-1#post-2700420 Tue, 21 Feb 2017 05:37:33 +0000 cityliving 2700420@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Let me preface this with the fact that I am SO excited to be pregnant. It took us 1.5 years to conceive our DD, and that was after 8 months of fertility treatments. We very much want another baby and were going to start trying in 6 months when I would qualify for FMLA at my new job. This pregnancy was a surprise and feels like a small miracle but also has me worried about the impact it will have on the rest of my career. </p> <p>I JUST accepted a new job and will be starting when I'm almost 3 months pregnant if all goes well and we move across the country around the same time. I was already worried about how demanding the new job would be and the late hours. I worked really hard to get this job, and I am worried that I won't be able to leave a positive enough impression after only 6 months of work to return to it after my (unpaid, un-FMLA protected) maternity leave, but am also not willing to short change my leave (I took 4 months with my first and wouldn't want to take any less.) It's a profession dominated by older men, and I'm worried about the impression I will be making while being more exhausted, having to take long lunches for dr. appointments, and having "mommy brain." I'm also worried about my chances to network etc. (it's a small industry) given all of this and the new time crunch. I'm worried I'll be searching for a new job soon and am worried about having to explain the short tenure. I'm sure some of this is just the shock and me processing, but I would love some words of encouragement or even straight talk with action items right now. Thank you! </p>