https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 09 Apr 2026 00:44:59 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pregnant-death-in-family-and-cultural-family-issues#post-2653360 Wed, 16 Nov 2016 19:01:52 +0000 Boogs 2653360@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think you need to do what feels right to you. Would regret it if you didn't go? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pregnant-death-in-family-and-cultural-family-issues#post-2653278 Wed, 16 Nov 2016 16:19:33 +0000 Truth Bombs 2653278@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think you have to remove other people's feelings from the equation. Do you share your father's concern/superstition/whatever you want to call it or not? If not, just tell him you respect his position but you want to attend the funeral and you are comfortable doing so while pregnant. If you do, tell your mom's family that you are sorry to disappointment them, but you have follow a cultural tradition that is important to you. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pregnant-death-in-family-and-cultural-family-issues#post-2653276 Wed, 16 Nov 2016 16:18:15 +0000 misolee 2653276@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm Asian and I went to several funerals during both my pregnancies. For the first one, I was met with side glances and stares at the funeral and my parents disapproved but I decided to go because the "it's unlucky" part has no scientific merit to it nor will attending a funeral affect your pregnancy or birth. Good luck with whatever you choose!</p> <p>Oh edited to add: for one of them, I did attend the wake and it was an open casket where people were expected to come up to the front and say their goodbyes. That I opted not to do. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pregnant-death-in-family-and-cultural-family-issues#post-2653275 Wed, 16 Nov 2016 16:17:28 +0000 catlady 2653275@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrsrain: I didn't think of that, but that's a good idea if my dad won't budge. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pregnant-death-in-family-and-cultural-family-issues#post-2653268 Wed, 16 Nov 2016 16:10:53 +0000 mrsrain 2653268@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hmm... could you skip the service and just attend the gathering afterwards? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pregnant-death-in-family-and-cultural-family-issues#post-2653263 Wed, 16 Nov 2016 16:08:33 +0000 ShootingStar 2653263@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Well, unfortunately you may make people upset regardless of which you choose. Your non-asian side of the family may be offended if you don't go. Even though you weren't close. And your dad obviously disapproves. I guess it depends which is the lesser of two evils for you? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pregnant-death-in-family-and-cultural-family-issues#post-2653253 Wed, 16 Nov 2016 15:58:37 +0000 catlady 2653253@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My grandmother (mom's mother) passed away this morning. We were not close (she was a recluse and refused visitors other than my aunts for the past decade), but I am close to the other members of that side of the family and of course I planned to attend her wake and funeral.</p> <p>My dad, who is Asian, has already asked me not to attend. I am 37 weeks pregnant and he believes it is unlucky for pregnant women to attend funerals. My mom's family is white so they (and I) don't share this belief. My mom herself passed away a few years ago so I don't have her help right now on how to navigate this.</p> <p>I want to attend but I don't want to cause any issues with my dad, especially right now when I am feeling pretty emotional in general. To make things more awkward, I actually already attended a funeral earlier in my pregnancy, but I didn't tell my dad because I knew he'd disapprove. At the time though, I didn't realize just how serious he was about this. Now I feel like I need to come clean about that too.</p> <p>Any thoughts on how to deal with this? </p> <p>I spoke with a co-worker who is from China earlier today and she was like "no, you can't go!". So that was no help at all. </p>