https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 11 Apr 2026 19:36:28 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pregnant-with-2-and-feeling-so-guilty#post-2537994 Sun, 01 May 2016 07:59:38 +0000 MOMTOLITTLEB 2537994@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm only thinking about number 2 and feeling guilty! From reading through the thread it seems very normal. My LO will be over 3 if we do have another, possibly even 4 so on one hand I think he's not a baby so it's ok to have another baby but then I feel bad shaking up the family we've all gotten used to! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pregnant-with-2-and-feeling-so-guilty#post-2537667 Sat, 30 Apr 2016 11:32:38 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2537667@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Coffee-lover: I waited a bit longer to have my second (3 years apart) but I can tell you, your first will most likely GROW for having a sibling. Watching our big girl learn to be one of of two and be a big sister has been amazing. I know you can't totally get rid of the mom guilt but from the other side... It's going to be fine! :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pregnant-with-2-and-feeling-so-guilty#post-2537628 Sat, 30 Apr 2016 09:44:05 +0000 PinkElephant 2537628@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Having DD2 was the best thing I could have done for DD1. Even though they squabble a bunch, at 2 &amp; 4 it is AMAZING to watch them together. They love each other so, so much. My 2 year old will do anything for her big sister. Just the other day, she thought a big boy (probably 6 years old) pushed DD1, so little DD2 ran up to him, pointed a finger, and said "No push my &lt;DD1's name&gt;! You not my best friend!" We're adding #3, and while I'm of course a little worried about how DD1 and DD2 will feel when this one arrives, I can only imagine how much more sibling love they'll all have to go around! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pregnant-with-2-and-feeling-so-guilty#post-2537606 Sat, 30 Apr 2016 08:34:27 +0000 T.H.O.U. 2537606@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Even with #3 I have these fears! But number two was the best thing and I'm sure this one will be too </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pregnant-with-2-and-feeling-so-guilty#post-2537601 Sat, 30 Apr 2016 08:21:10 +0000 yerpie110 2537601@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I felt this way for much of my pregnancy, it's definitely normal! Change is hard, whether it's good change or bad change. Dd1 absolutely adores her sister, from the second we brought her home from the hospital. Has it been hard learning to share me? At times, yes, but that comes hand in hand with the immense joy her sister brings, and also that it's good for dd1 to learn to be more independent from me. And for my youngest, as much as I feel guilty that she has my divided attention, what she has that my oldest did not is the undivided attention of dd1, and what an amazing thing that is. its cheesy, but I often say that love doesn't add or subtract, it only multiplies :happy: congrats!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pregnant-with-2-and-feeling-so-guilty#post-2537595 Sat, 30 Apr 2016 07:41:30 +0000 SweetiePie 2537595@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm not pregnant, but this is a big reason I'm afraid to have another! I love my alone time and routine with my son so much, I love being able to give him all my attention- I'm afraid to give that up. Another reason I want to wait till he's older and in school more. But age and IVF make that hard to do.<br /> I'm living in a constant state of indecision :bummed: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pregnant-with-2-and-feeling-so-guilty#post-2537593 Sat, 30 Apr 2016 07:31:33 +0000 caterw 2537593@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I totally understand feeling this way! I am also pregnant with #2 and I have been really sick with this one. I feel like I am already not giving her enough attention/ doing enough fun stuff with her. I just try to keep in mind that a sibling is her best friend and playmate forever. </p> <p> Yours are close enough in age that they will almost be "Irish twins". My brother and sister are 18 months apart and 1 grade apart in school and they have always shared friend groups and interests. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pregnant-with-2-and-feeling-so-guilty#post-2537586 Sat, 30 Apr 2016 07:05:38 +0000 whiskers 2537586@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've seen a lot of people express this concern and maybe because I grew up in a bigger family or have a twin, but I honestly think that you are only doing them a favor. I can't see how a sibling is a bad thing. She will learn so much from it and carry those lessons through life. You will certainly be able to continue a deep bond with both children and watching them bond with one another is amazing. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pregnant-with-2-and-feeling-so-guilty#post-2537574 Sat, 30 Apr 2016 06:25:09 +0000 erinbaderin 2537574@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I posted about this too. I felt like I was never able to get really excited about my pregnancy because I was so worried about how it would affect my son. The good news is that after all my worrying, my son loves his baby brother and is thrilled to have him here, the transition has been so much easier than I feared! We got a book (Waiting for Baby) and emphasized that he was going to be a big brother, that it was a very special job, and that mommy and daddy would still love him just as much and he was still going to be just as special to is. </p> <p>Something that helped me to remember was: I have a younger brother. I was 23 months when he arrived, and I don't remember it at all. What I do remember is all the fun we had together growing up. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pregnant-with-2-and-feeling-so-guilty#post-2537571 Sat, 30 Apr 2016 05:33:42 +0000 hellobeeboston 2537571@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I honestly think when you have them closer together like you, it's better for them as they are too young to have those feelings of having lost out on the one on one time. It still may happen, and I'm sure there will be some jealousy, but it will be good. And as others mentioned they will be besties being so close in age!!!</p> <p>I so know how you are feeling. When I was 40 weeks preggo with my second, knowing he would come any day, I was crying and quite upset for my almost 3 year old knowing his world was going to be turned upside down, and I too didn't know how I would love this new baby as much as my first. But I soooo did immediately ❤️ </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pregnant-with-2-and-feeling-so-guilty#post-2537569 Sat, 30 Apr 2016 05:23:07 +0000 Nutella 2537569@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Coffee-lover: I'm so relieved to see this...I had an early miscarriage last year and even in that early stage I had emotional moments where I felt so sad/overwhelmed that I wouldn't have 100% attention on my LO! I ended up confessing this to a friend in real life recently (who is currently pregnant) &amp; her reaction made me feel terrible! She was really surprised &amp; was like 'oh I bet you didn't feel like that for long!' 🙄 I felt rotten even admitting it out loud, especially after that reaction. Anyway, rambles aside...just wanted to say I think it's normal! We are yet to conceive our rainbow babe but I know we will all have more than enough space in our hearts for them when they choose to arrive. All the best! :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pregnant-with-2-and-feeling-so-guilty#post-2537564 Sat, 30 Apr 2016 04:46:51 +0000 FaithFertility 2537564@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I felt this way, and made a post too!<br /> I am 16 weeks and sometimes it creeps back into my mind! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pregnant-with-2-and-feeling-so-guilty#post-2537561 Sat, 30 Apr 2016 04:22:52 +0000 travelgirl1 2537561@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Totally normal thing to worry about. We were lucky and had a very easy transition and DD loved her brother from the start. I still do feel very guilty that DD doesn't get my undivided attention anymore and DS has never had it but I think the joy they bring each other fills the gap for them. Nothing like seeing your kids play together! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pregnant-with-2-and-feeling-so-guilty#post-2537551 Sat, 30 Apr 2016 01:05:23 +0000 Cherrybee 2537551@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Its completely true what they say, that babies bring their own love. Id go one step further and say that my LO2 brought extra love for everyone. </p> <p>@Coffee-lover: The truth is: Yes, my older LO (almost 3) was sad when the baby was born. It was really, really hard to see. But it only lasted two weeks and I actually think we are closer now because we worked through it together. I just focussed on the fact that a sibling is a great gift for her - if they're close, then her sister will be there for her she I'm not here any more. That's special. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pregnant-with-2-and-feeling-so-guilty#post-2537543 Fri, 29 Apr 2016 23:41:46 +0000 Coffee-lover 2537543@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks for the replies. Was your first baby really sad and upset when the new baby came? Its breaking my heart to think about. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pregnant-with-2-and-feeling-so-guilty#post-2537522 Fri, 29 Apr 2016 22:24:22 +0000 dcw6411 2537522@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Coffee-lover: I definitely felt that way when I got pregnant with my second and my daughter was 1 at the time as well. I wouldn't change it for the world now. They are so close and love each other so much. It's a normal feeling to have. You will be a wonderful momma to both! :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pregnant-with-2-and-feeling-so-guilty#post-2537518 Fri, 29 Apr 2016 22:18:43 +0000 anonysquire 2537518@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Totally felt that way. But it's so true what everyone says, your heart just doubles. And you get to love 2 sweet babies that much! And they will be best friends (knock on wood!!) congrats :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pregnant-with-2-and-feeling-so-guilty#post-2537503 Fri, 29 Apr 2016 21:53:10 +0000 bloved 2537503@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yup! I totally felt that way despite this baby being completely wanted and having gone through many rounds of fertility treatments to get him. However, I have to say, as soon as my second son was born I realized you really grow a second heart and there is room to love both as all consumingly as you did when you just had one. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pregnant-with-2-and-feeling-so-guilty#post-2537501 Fri, 29 Apr 2016 21:47:04 +0000 schubr03 2537501@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't have any advice because I am not pregnant yet with #2, but I am already feeling this way! So I think it is pretty normal! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pregnant-with-2-and-feeling-so-guilty#post-2537496 Fri, 29 Apr 2016 21:39:07 +0000 Coffee-lover 2537496@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hi, I am only 5 weeks pregnant with my second baby and am seriously emotional already. I really want another baby and am so happy I am pregnant, but at the same time I am feeling an unexpected intense guilt for having another baby.</p> <p>I love my daughter (who is almost 1) so much! She is my whole world and I would do anything for her. I am feeling so guilty that I will not be able to give her my undivided attention anymore when the baby gets here. I am terrified she will be too young to understand and will feel hurt and unloved. Is this a normal thing to be freaking out about? </p>