https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 16 May 2026 19:26:17 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pregos-does-the-waiter-ask-if-you-want-an-alcoholic-beverage#post-395868 Tue, 13 Nov 2012 19:18:53 +0000 squid 395868@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Blackbird pretty much explains it.</p> <p>Servers live and die by routines and habits...Most of the time they're too busy to pay attention to things outside of what they've been trained to do. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pregos-does-the-waiter-ask-if-you-want-an-alcoholic-beverage#post-395838 Tue, 13 Nov 2012 18:55:40 +0000 LazyLightning 395838@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>i think with so many shapes and sizes of people, they don't want to miss out on a liquor sale just because their customer has a belly (could be a beer belly!). Or they're not paying attention... The guy at the mexican place we went to the other night was kind of weirded out when i ordered a non-alcoholic strawberry margarita--it's a kids' drink. Oh well! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pregos-does-the-waiter-ask-if-you-want-an-alcoholic-beverage#post-395712 Tue, 13 Nov 2012 17:35:06 +0000 wheres_c 395712@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've been asked my entire pregnancy. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pregos-does-the-waiter-ask-if-you-want-an-alcoholic-beverage#post-395642 Tue, 13 Nov 2012 16:55:55 +0000 JerricaBenton 395642@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I bet it's either out of habit or they just don't want to risk offending anyone. I had a waitress ask me if I'd like a Shirley Temple! I also ordered a coffee for my mom once and the lady looked at me like I had two heads and goes, 'Decaf????' super loudly. I'd rather just be treated normally than like a child. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pregos-does-the-waiter-ask-if-you-want-an-alcoholic-beverage#post-395636 Tue, 13 Nov 2012 16:52:45 +0000 prettylizy 395636@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm pretty sure most people couldn't tell I was pregnant when I sat down, I carry weight in my stomach anyway. I think for the sake of saving their own tip, all waitstaff should treat all customers the same. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pregos-does-the-waiter-ask-if-you-want-an-alcoholic-beverage#post-395567 Tue, 13 Nov 2012 16:08:21 +0000 mamimami 395567@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I actually found it annoying when they'd look at me and be like, "would you like a lemonade?" I mean, I'm an adult. I don't want a scotch but don't patronize me! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pregos-does-the-waiter-ask-if-you-want-an-alcoholic-beverage#post-395487 Tue, 13 Nov 2012 15:25:18 +0000 CupQuakeWalk 395487@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes, they'd ask all the time. But, in their defense, whenever DH &amp; I would go out somewhere nice, i'd always kind of cover the bump up just because I didn't feel 1005 "sexy" while pregnant. But, at 40w2d, we went out to dinner for the last time before baby arrived, and they still asked even though at that point I was an obvious whale. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pregos-does-the-waiter-ask-if-you-want-an-alcoholic-beverage#post-395482 Tue, 13 Nov 2012 15:23:26 +0000 London Mama 395482@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes, it used to happen all the time. But then, having a glass of wine while pregnant is pretty common in many parts of the world. It's not something I'd choose to do but plenty of pregnant women do have the occasional drink. And the waiter may not know much about pregnancy... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pregos-does-the-waiter-ask-if-you-want-an-alcoholic-beverage#post-395438 Tue, 13 Nov 2012 14:53:59 +0000 Andrea 395438@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes, I think they just want to leave the option open. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pregos-does-the-waiter-ask-if-you-want-an-alcoholic-beverage#post-395432 Tue, 13 Nov 2012 14:51:28 +0000 kml636 395432@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This has also happened to me twice in the past week and I'm 40 weeks preggers! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pregos-does-the-waiter-ask-if-you-want-an-alcoholic-beverage#post-395395 Tue, 13 Nov 2012 14:36:56 +0000 blackbird 395395@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Out of habit, seriously. And uh, as a former waitress, you really cannot tell who is pregnant and who just carries their weight on their stomach. You think it's obvious, but to someone who sees, literally, a hundred people of night, sitting down, they don't even know. They're looking at you when they're talking, but they're probably staring right through you, if you know what I mean.</p> <p>Oh and when I waited tables, we had to offer certain things to every table. no matter what </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pregos-does-the-waiter-ask-if-you-want-an-alcoholic-beverage#post-395339 Tue, 13 Nov 2012 14:19:37 +0000 Smurfette 395339@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>They always seem shocked when I just say water instead of a drink like everyone else. When we went to dinner for our anniversary last week, she asked if we wanted wine. I said just water, and put my hand on my belly. I think she didn't see it, cause then she said oh, well no win for you. Told us Congrats. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pregos-does-the-waiter-ask-if-you-want-an-alcoholic-beverage#post-395336 Tue, 13 Nov 2012 14:19:13 +0000 Revel 395336@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>As a server and bartender for many years, ladyfingers is right on that at some places you just have the spiel you have to go through. </p> <p>Also, I had alcohol service training at several places that addressed serving pregnant women. It is actually discriminatory to NOT serve a pregnant woman who would like an alcoholic beverage, so perhaps people are just covering their bases there. I know I would usually use the generic "drinks" with people if I thought someone was underage/pregnant/intoxicated etc., but I'm sure I slipped up sometimes. From an awkwardness standpoint, I think it's always safer to assume someone isn't pregnant than that they are!</p> <p>AFW, I am not obviously pregnant yet so I haven't had to cross this bridge. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pregos-does-the-waiter-ask-if-you-want-an-alcoholic-beverage#post-395321 Tue, 13 Nov 2012 14:14:13 +0000 ladyfingers 395321@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yep. Almost every time DH and I go out, the waiter rattles off their drink specials or asks if we want something to drink, they have this that and the other. While looking at both of us! It annoys me but I chalk it up to, this is their spiel they have to give at every single table, so they're on autopilot or figure DH will want something (even though they're always looking at me too!!). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pregos-does-the-waiter-ask-if-you-want-an-alcoholic-beverage#post-395316 Tue, 13 Nov 2012 14:12:25 +0000 Foodnerd81 395316@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Most of the time waiters just ask if you want something to drink-- don't specify alcohol, no? Thought I was at dinner with a very obviously pregnant friend, who had ordered ginger ale before i got there. After I ordered wine, the waiter did ask her if she wanted wine or was good with the ginger ale. She responded by rubbing her big belly and saying, no, I'm good. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pregos-does-the-waiter-ask-if-you-want-an-alcoholic-beverage#post-395275 Tue, 13 Nov 2012 14:00:58 +0000 MamaMoose 395275@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>At 38 weeks in still getting asked if I want the wine list! First off its tough to tell for sure when you're sitting down of you are preggy or chubby. Also, lots of pregnant women will have a glass of wine here and there during pregnancy so waiters probably still want to leave the option open. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pregos-does-the-waiter-ask-if-you-want-an-alcoholic-beverage#post-395252 Tue, 13 Nov 2012 13:53:45 +0000 .twist. 395252@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>hahaha. I have a friend who this happened to a few times. Even one of our good friends came up to her at about 28 weeks and asked her if she'd like a beer. My friend just looked at her and then down at her belly!!! Our friend was a little embarrassed. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pregos-does-the-waiter-ask-if-you-want-an-alcoholic-beverage#post-395241 Tue, 13 Nov 2012 13:51:32 +0000 tororojo 395241@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hehe...twice in the last week I have been asked if I want boozey beverages! Once at TGI Friday's (where I was wearing a very fitted non-maternity top and you could definitely see a bump) and once at a sports bar (where I had on a fitted sweater dress and a friend had just said "yaaay, you're showing!"). Also, at Friday's the hostess asked if we wanted to sit in the bar, and I said "is there smoking there?" "yes" "then no, we'll wait for a table" &lt;-- she glanced at my belly and then shrugged.</p> <p>It's very possible that I just look chunky and not pregnant, but I wonder if servers ask everyone out of habit or if it's a precaution, just in case they're not 100% sure whether it's a beer belly or a baby. I guess no one wants to get in trouble for discriminating. Do YOU get offered alcoholic drinks while pregnant? </p>