Hellobee Boards Topic: Preparing for miscarriage: what to do with baby?

Hellobee Boards Topic: Preparing for miscarriage: what to do with baby? https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 01 May 2026 14:07:00 +0000 stiletto_mom on "Preparing for miscarriage: what to do with baby?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/preparing-for-miscarriage-what-to-do-with-baby#post-2464928 Wed, 17 Feb 2016 17:08:37 +0000 stiletto_mom 2464928@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I don't know what I'll actually do. I won't need to light a candle or bury it for closure. Closure will be passing it or seeing no heartbeat on the ultrasound for me. But I really hope that D&C is an option if I don't miscarry by the end of next week (confirmed by ultrasound). I'd rather it be "medical waste" than just flushed. mrs.kiwi on "Preparing for miscarriage: what to do with baby?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/preparing-for-miscarriage-what-to-do-with-baby#post-2464910 Wed, 17 Feb 2016 16:58:00 +0000 mrs.kiwi 2464910@https://boards.hellobee.com/ At least for us it provided a sense of closure and honoring their short lives. Whatever you do Praying for peace and healing... My heart goes out to you. mrs.kiwi on "Preparing for miscarriage: what to do with baby?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/preparing-for-miscarriage-what-to-do-with-baby#post-2464907 Wed, 17 Feb 2016 16:56:31 +0000 mrs.kiwi 2464907@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I had 2 miscarriages and both times we sAved a buried the babies. The first I miscarried at 7 weeks.. Was not expecting to see anything but we did.. The second I miscarried at 8.5-9 weeks and my husband and I wanted to save this one too if possible. But talking to most women it seems more uncommon... petunia354 on "Preparing for miscarriage: what to do with baby?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/preparing-for-miscarriage-what-to-do-with-baby#post-2464692 Wed, 17 Feb 2016 14:55:47 +0000 petunia354 2464692@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I've miscarried at 5.5 & 8 weeks and there was nothing identifiable, just huge clots. My OB didn't offer a d&c at 5.5 weeks because there was such little fetal tissue. It should just be like a heavy period. My loss at 8 weeks was 1000 times more painful! I'd suggest maybe lighting a candle, releasing a balloon or saying a prayer if that's your kind of thing when you think you've finished passing everything just to have some closure. Lots of hugs, it's tough for sure!! Mama Bird on "Preparing for miscarriage: what to do with baby?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/preparing-for-miscarriage-what-to-do-with-baby#post-2464675 Wed, 17 Feb 2016 14:45:09 +0000 Mama Bird 2464675@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I'm so sorry your going through this. This early, you might see nothing but clots. Flushing may not be the worst of a bunch of sad options, because we're made of water, and to water we return. travellingbee on "Preparing for miscarriage: what to do with baby?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/preparing-for-miscarriage-what-to-do-with-baby#post-2464642 Wed, 17 Feb 2016 14:17:10 +0000 travellingbee 2464642@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I miscarried at 5 and 7 weeks and there was just clotting as well. No tissue I saw. Silva on "Preparing for miscarriage: what to do with baby?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/preparing-for-miscarriage-what-to-do-with-baby#post-2464611 Wed, 17 Feb 2016 13:55:09 +0000 Silva 2464611@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I miscarried at 7 weeks and it was like a heavy period. Some clots, but nothing significant. Maybe you can think of a different ritual? Drawing a picture, releasing a lantern or balloon, planting a tree? stiletto_mom on "Preparing for miscarriage: what to do with baby?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/preparing-for-miscarriage-what-to-do-with-baby#post-2464588 Wed, 17 Feb 2016 13:37:11 +0000 stiletto_mom 2464588@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Thanks for the advice everyone. Torchwood on "Preparing for miscarriage: what to do with baby?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/preparing-for-miscarriage-what-to-do-with-baby#post-2464563 Wed, 17 Feb 2016 13:19:19 +0000 Torchwood 2464563@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. I didn't have anything identifiable with my early m/c, around 5 weeks. LindsayLou on "Preparing for miscarriage: what to do with baby?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/preparing-for-miscarriage-what-to-do-with-baby#post-2464451 Wed, 17 Feb 2016 12:28:31 +0000 LindsayLou 2464451@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I'm so sorry you're going through this. I had a miscarriage at 6 weeks, and all I saw was clots. For me, there was never anything I could definitively tell apart from clots, and I honestly didn't want to completely examine everything. My bleeding continued for 12 days, it was like a long heavy period. gingerbebe on "Preparing for miscarriage: what to do with baby?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/preparing-for-miscarriage-what-to-do-with-baby#post-2464436 Wed, 17 Feb 2016 12:16:03 +0000 gingerbebe 2464436@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Note: Sorry if this is somewhat graphic. I miscarried at 10 weeks (but the fetus stopped progressing earlier on than that). I opted not to have a D&C and so I had been waiting to miscarry naturally. After some bad cramps/contractions, everything came out at once. My OBGYN wanted to ensure everything came out since I didn't want the D&C, so she told me, if it was possible, to bring the tissue into the lab. If not, they could examine me in office. She told me to put the remains in a Tupperware or clean container of some kind and if I couldn't get in right away, I could refrigerate it, but she wanted me to get it in ASAP. I had a second miscarriage around 5-6 weeks and it was really just like a very heavy period and there wasn't really one big mass or anything. Just lots of clots that the pad handled just fine. MaryM on "Preparing for miscarriage: what to do with baby?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/preparing-for-miscarriage-what-to-do-with-baby#post-2464357 Wed, 17 Feb 2016 11:13:44 +0000 MaryM 2464357@https://boards.hellobee.com/ With my first, I passed it on the toilet around 8 weeks (it stopped growing around 5 or 6). It was hard to tell a clot from the fetal tissue. I thought I'd passed it once, but an ultrasound revealed it was still there. In the moment, I couldn't think of anything else to do. The only way I can think that I would save the body and do a burial is if I had a D&C and it was delivered in a sterile environment and I planned to bury it in the cemetery with our stillborn daughter. But at 5/6 weeks, there really wasn't a "body" to be dealt with. MrsKoala on "Preparing for miscarriage: what to do with baby?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/preparing-for-miscarriage-what-to-do-with-baby#post-2464329 Wed, 17 Feb 2016 10:57:54 +0000 MrsKoala 2464329@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I miscarried at 4w5d and it was just heavy clotting. There is no embryo to speak of that was identifiable. It was quite painful and drawn out, though, so if you have an option for a D&C and you are 100% sure you are going to miscarry then I would go with that instead. psw27 on "Preparing for miscarriage: what to do with baby?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/preparing-for-miscarriage-what-to-do-with-baby#post-2464276 Wed, 17 Feb 2016 10:35:11 +0000 psw27 2464276@https://boards.hellobee.com/ No advice, just wanted to say that I am so, so sorry. aegie on "Preparing for miscarriage: what to do with baby?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/preparing-for-miscarriage-what-to-do-with-baby#post-2464264 Wed, 17 Feb 2016 10:28:54 +0000 aegie 2464264@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I miscarried at 21 weeks and had to have surgery. If it's much earlier on, I'm not sure if there would be much in terms of a physical presence. Although, I'm sure emotionally, it's hard to just flush? I'm sorry for your loss. travelgirl1 on "Preparing for miscarriage: what to do with baby?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/preparing-for-miscarriage-what-to-do-with-baby#post-2464226 Wed, 17 Feb 2016 10:04:22 +0000 travelgirl1 2464226@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Oh honey, I am so sorry :heart: I am not sure what to tell you. For me, when I miscarried at 8 weeks, there was a walnut sized 'thing' that I assumed was the embryo. I did fish it out, because, as ridiculous as I sounds, there were things I wanted to say to the baby. Ultimately I flushed it, however. We were in an apartment, nowhere to bury, etc. I have heard of people keeping it in the freezer to give them time to decide. Whatever you do, it is heartbreaking. Big hugs to you. JoJoGirl on "Preparing for miscarriage: what to do with baby?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/preparing-for-miscarriage-what-to-do-with-baby#post-2464223 Wed, 17 Feb 2016 10:02:29 +0000 JoJoGirl 2464223@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Like others have said, the chances of seeing the embryo are small. Sending you hugs. @DesertDreams88: I'm so sorry about this- I had a d&c and can't imagine seeing it with my own eyes ❤️ DesertDreams88 on "Preparing for miscarriage: what to do with baby?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/preparing-for-miscarriage-what-to-do-with-baby#post-2464213 Wed, 17 Feb 2016 09:58:11 +0000 DesertDreams88 2464213@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I don't know what you "should" do, this was just what I did. I completely winged it because I did not at all anticipate seeing anything, but I did. I miscarried at 7 weeks, measuring 5-6 weeks. I had a large clot on toilet paper that I knew had to be the baby. I couldn't bring myself to throw it in the toilet or the trash. So I put it in a cup of water and let the blood dissipate. After that, it was clear what it was. DH and I ended up burying it in our backyard. Granted this was totally unplanned. I also didn't mean for DH to see it -I had put the cup in my dresser, not knowing what to do. I don't know that I would have wished it to be any different, but it did add another dimension of sadness. I think you have like a 50/50 shot of seeing something, though at most it only appear like a large clot. Maybe talk to your DH to see if he has ideas or preferences. :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: catlady on "Preparing for miscarriage: what to do with baby?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/preparing-for-miscarriage-what-to-do-with-baby#post-2464202 Wed, 17 Feb 2016 09:48:56 +0000 catlady 2464202@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I'm really, really sorry you are dealing with this. How far along were you? I have had one misoprostol miscarriage (10 weeks but only measuring between 6 and 7), and all I saw were big clots. I let them pass and tried not to think too hard about it. I had a later miscarriage too but I had the D&C so I'm not sure what that would have been like. Hugs. :heart: erinbaderin on "Preparing for miscarriage: what to do with baby?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/preparing-for-miscarriage-what-to-do-with-baby#post-2464183 Wed, 17 Feb 2016 09:34:24 +0000 erinbaderin 2464183@https://boards.hellobee.com/ When I miscarried at 6 weeks there wasn't really anything I could identify as an embryo, like Mrs Lemon-Lime said it was mostly clots and blood. My personal recommendation would be to just not really look but that was what worked for me, you might feel differently. I'm really sorry you're having to deal with this. LBee on "Preparing for miscarriage: what to do with baby?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/preparing-for-miscarriage-what-to-do-with-baby#post-2464177 Wed, 17 Feb 2016 09:29:23 +0000 LBee 2464177@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @stiletto_mom: Are you able to go to the ER now and request an ultrasound? I think the ER in general usually acts a little quicker and would hopefully have more answers. I'm so sorry you are going through this. It looks like you've had miscarriages before (from your profile) - did you have a D&C? Who cared for you then? Since it sounds like your doctor is a real dud - I would pursue that route if you were happy with the level of care. Again, I'm so sorry for your loss. ETA: I am speaking from experience with US healthcare system. Mrs. Lemon-Lime on "Preparing for miscarriage: what to do with baby?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/preparing-for-miscarriage-what-to-do-with-baby#post-2464173 Wed, 17 Feb 2016 09:26:12 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2464173@https://boards.hellobee.com/ When air miscarried at 5w 3d, I let most of it pass while on the toilet. Anything I wiped up on bathroom tissue I looked at it and flushed. There wasn't much of a baby or fetus to look at; it was more of clots like I was used to seeing when I took birth control. ETA: the doctor I had at that time didn't offer any alternatives such as testing the tissue. I ended up finding a different doctor because I didn't like his bedside manner. artsyfartsy on "Preparing for miscarriage: what to do with baby?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/preparing-for-miscarriage-what-to-do-with-baby#post-2464168 Wed, 17 Feb 2016 09:23:21 +0000 artsyfartsy 2464168@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I'm so sorry you're going through this. :heart: stiletto_mom on "Preparing for miscarriage: what to do with baby?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/preparing-for-miscarriage-what-to-do-with-baby#post-2464161 Wed, 17 Feb 2016 09:20:02 +0000 stiletto_mom 2464161@https://boards.hellobee.com/ If possible I'll opt for a D&C but my ultrasound is not until Monday and I'm spotting brown. So in the event that I miscarry naturally at home, what do I do with the baby? I know to expect bad cramps and lots of blood. But should I scoop out the embryo... and do what with it? I have no where to bury it, I don't want to cremate or keep it. I don't want to flush it... Can I take it to my doctor? My own family doctor said it's not necessary to go to the ER when it happens because they can't do anything for you. I'm in Canada btw.