https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 02 May 2026 21:40:21 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/preschool-schoolwork-question#post-2787661 Sun, 19 Nov 2017 21:40:47 +0000 Orchid 2787661@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Take your child out of this environment as soon as possible! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/preschool-schoolwork-question#post-2787636 Sun, 19 Nov 2017 18:25:34 +0000 PawPrints 2787636@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree with others that this is a big red flag that the school lacks a fundamental understanding of child development, and is acting in ways that could be really detrimental to lifelong learning. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/preschool-schoolwork-question#post-2787635 Sun, 19 Nov 2017 18:10:44 +0000 SugarplumsMom 2787635@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@sharpie: He should have gotten a sticker for sitting! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/preschool-schoolwork-question#post-2787616 Sun, 19 Nov 2017 14:25:23 +0000 JoyfulKiwi 2787616@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@sharpie: No, sitting “still” and doing worksheets is proven to not be an effective learning strategy for early childhood. I think the homework packets and notes about “just scribbling” show a serious lack of understanding about children’s development and what’s developmentally appropriate.<br /> What is the rest of his day like? Are the kids rewarded for returning the homework packets? Do they have large blocks of free, child-centered play? Is this sitting still work a small portion of the day? I have SO MANY questions about this.<br /> I do agree somewhat with 808Love: it’s not likely that you’ll get things to change in his classroom. I think you should still bring up your concerns (maybe this is just a teacher issue &amp; it can be helped with some training), but be prepared to look for a different school. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/preschool-schoolwork-question#post-2787580 Sun, 19 Nov 2017 11:03:06 +0000 808love 2787580@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It is extremely difficult to FORCE a child to learn at any age. We can only provide structure, resources and opportunities. I think if all children at school are doing it and your child isn’t then you need to coach your child but stopping before the point of frustration (yours or your child’s). You can help them write (sometimes crudely) when they are either three or four or five. But at some point you will need to get involved because a teacher can’t be in 24 places at once with the feedback necessary to develop writing skills to the extent a parent or caregiver can. Other options aside from finding another placement or changing school philosophy is to gain tools and whatever support you need to better help your child. The onus is shared between the child, parent and the school. You control your side. (Not necessarily your child’s, although you are an influence.) There is more to do besides just put pressure on school. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/preschool-schoolwork-question#post-2787576 Sun, 19 Nov 2017 10:40:26 +0000 babypugs 2787576@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was shocked when my daughter started the 3's class (at 2!) and came home with homework. I was adamantly opposed at first, but she likes doing it so I'll just set it in front of her, give basic instructions, then basically let her decide if she wants to do it or just draw on it. I'd be mad if they said anything, because homework at 3?? Definitely not forcing that.</p> <p>ETA Yep, I do firmly believe (and the research supports!) that forced learning at this age is detrimental. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/preschool-schoolwork-question#post-2787551 Sun, 19 Nov 2017 06:02:57 +0000 nana87 2787551@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Closed-ended worksheets are not developmentally appropriate for 3 or 4 years. This isn’t the work I do now, but I’ve been trained in some child care quality assessment scales, and I feel like this is one of the biggest misconceptions about “school readiness”— these are not appropriate activities and I would guess most likely just make kids have negative associations with “school” or “homework” in the future. Play-based learning isn’t just a matter of parental preference, empirical child development research supports it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/preschool-schoolwork-question#post-2787503 Sat, 18 Nov 2017 18:18:02 +0000 sharpie 2787503@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>These replies are really reinforcing my feelings, thank you everyone! I have some conversations to have with daycare, and some decisions to make. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/preschool-schoolwork-question#post-2787502 Sat, 18 Nov 2017 17:57:32 +0000 farawayyama 2787502@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>As an educator, this would be a huge red flag and I would seriously consider changing schools over it. OTOH walking into the 2 year old room to find them doing flash cards with DD one day was one reason we decided not to send her to her previous daycare for preschool (we ended up moving anyway and are delaying preschool). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/preschool-schoolwork-question#post-2787497 Sat, 18 Nov 2017 16:59:57 +0000 looch 2787497@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am not an expert, but my son would not have had the motor skills to be able to handle writing utensils at the age of 3. Yes, he could hold them, but not properly for the amount of time required to complete a worksheet. </p> <p>Scribbling is appropriate IMO. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/preschool-schoolwork-question#post-2787487 Sat, 18 Nov 2017 16:13:30 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2787487@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think homework packets at that age are completely inappropriate. My reaction would depend on all the other circumstances at school but I wouldn't push the homework.</p> <p>ETA, gonna be honest, unless my kid was really attached to other kids or teachers or they would have a really hard time adjusting.. I'd be looking for a new school in all likelihood. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/preschool-schoolwork-question#post-2787476 Sat, 18 Nov 2017 15:26:57 +0000 lady baltimore 2787476@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My LO (almost 2) is not in school yet, but at that age, I would not expect or want her school to be pushing/focusing on worksheets. IF they want to do letter work, I would expect activities like tracing letter shapes in sand and gel, matching manipulatives, or building the letters like @gingerbebe: suggested. For homework, I would feel okay about a list of suggested activities that I could do to reinforce skills, if my child demonstrated interest. Anything more than that would be a flag that I might want to look more closely at the philosophy of the preschool and whether I was comfortable with it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/preschool-schoolwork-question#post-2787474 Sat, 18 Nov 2017 15:23:59 +0000 Mama Bird 2787474@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is kind of annoying for three year olds. DS did start getting similar homework at three, but I don't think it's the norm around here - most day cares don't do it. He just happened to be in one where the 3-4 and 4-5 groups were together, doing the same program. I realized there's not much I can do since this is how they were organized, but I was mad because DH took it very seriously, and insisted that the poor kid should do every single sheet, and neatly :bummed: I kept having to remind DH that when he was three, he was making mud pies, and that back then kids who knew their letters by five were considered gifted. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/preschool-schoolwork-question#post-2787466 Sat, 18 Nov 2017 14:46:48 +0000 Kemma 2787466@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My kids are at a play-based preschool/ daycare (all ages in a class together) and they don't do any sit down "school work" until they're at least four and it's more like quick worksheets and preparing them from school. My wee guy is almost three and there's no way he would sit down to do any kind of school work and not would I expect him to! In fact the only times the kids are expected to sit still and listen / focus is at morning and afternoon may time (10-15 minutes) and during food times. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/preschool-schoolwork-question#post-2787441 Sat, 18 Nov 2017 13:16:13 +0000 petitenoisette 2787441@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree with others that there is probably not much you can do to change this school's philosophy. </p> <p>That being said oh hell yes I'd be annoyed to get even an optional homework packet at that age. I'm dreading dealing with homework once my kids are in public school. I'm a teacher myself and I'm pretty anti-homework (though I do assign a small amount to my high school students). </p> <p>I would want to know more about what the purpose of the teacher's note was. Do they think your son's (normal) behavior is a problem that you need to address somehow? I mean I don't really see why else they'd tell you but I think it warrants further discussion. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/preschool-schoolwork-question#post-2787431 Sat, 18 Nov 2017 12:09:17 +0000 Jess1483 2787431@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think this is a "school philosophy" problem. I don't think theirs meshes well with yours. I would, if it's possible, look at moving to a play-based preschool. My nearly 5-year-old can read and write, and his preschool teacher will encourage that when he's interested, but she actually purposefully chose not to write an "academic" goal for him for the year because she wants him to focus on the social and emotional skills more. Finding a school where your philosophy matches better would probably alleviate a number of frustrations for you. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/preschool-schoolwork-question#post-2787430 Sat, 18 Nov 2017 12:05:09 +0000 MrsBucky 2787430@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>That is not the environment i would want my kid in either FWIW. Our sons Montessori school has children doing “work” but it is self chosen and they can do it for however long they want before moving onto another work (after putting the old work away). Watching it unfold is fascinating. I’ve seen this approach really extend my older 2 yo’s attention span. But even in the next classroom up, work is self chosen and it’s still primarily play based- work is chosen if they are interested in it. I think it’s helpful to know this school isn’t aligned with what you want for your kid and as such maybe it’s time to look for a different option. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/preschool-schoolwork-question#post-2787429 Sat, 18 Nov 2017 12:03:08 +0000 catlady 2787429@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This makes me really glad that my child attends a Montessori preschool. No homework, no worksheets, no expectations that they sit for extended periods of time if they don't feel like doing that. My girl actually loves doing worksheets and coloring, but it's her choice. She is 4 now and only has really been able to sit and work on something for awhile for maybe 6 months now. In her early 3s, I would not have expected that from her and I would have been really wary of a preschool that expected it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/preschool-schoolwork-question#post-2787426 Sat, 18 Nov 2017 11:51:01 +0000 gingerbebe 2787426@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My son is 3 and his preschool is play-based. They DO have learning stations for about 10-15 minutes at a time, but nothing super intensive. However, I think if the homework is not mandatory, I wouldn't really worry about it.</p> <p>For me personally, if I got a note saying my son didn't want to sit still during a station or that he just scribbled instead of tracing, I would WANT that information. I wouldn't necessarily think the teacher was passing judgement because I think most people agree that developmentally, sitting still and having great fine motor skills isn't age appropriate. But I DO think that its worth knowing that my kid DOESN'T or CAN'T do certain things yet.</p> <p>For me, if I got that note, I personally would start working at home with him on learning to sit still for small increments or finding a way to learn the fine motor skill in some other way that's more fun. For example, I might invite my son to do Magnatiles at the kitchen table with me and pay attention to the clock. If he can do it for 10-15 minutes at a time, that's a learning station, so I'd end it after that mark and then we'd transition to something fun like a snack or running around. If they wanted him to do tracing, I might get out a worksheet with a letter or number on it and then invite him to "trace" the letter by lining up raisins along the shape of the word. Or count blueberries. Or whatever. </p> <p>I've noticed my son doesn't want to sit still and do something if he is frustrated about NOT being able to do it. But once he has the inkling that he CAN do it, he's off and running and wants to do it all the time. So I try to engage him in a way where he can just TRY to do it and see if it doesn't take off on its own. </p> <p>So yeah, I'm not crazy about a school that sends home homework or expects my kid to sit still, and it may be that another school might be a better fit for your family, but I wouldn't necessarily be bothered by the e-mail. I'd want that info. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/preschool-schoolwork-question#post-2787425 Sat, 18 Nov 2017 11:50:43 +0000 pinkcupcake 2787425@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Is he closer to 3 or 4? How many minutes is he expected to sit and color? If it’s a page, and limited to a few minutes, I don’t think that’s unreasonable.</p> <p>As for “homework” - I wouldn’t push it on a child that age unless they were interested. My daughter loves workbooks and worksheets so we did those for fun but it was definitely her choice. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/preschool-schoolwork-question#post-2787417 Sat, 18 Nov 2017 11:22:30 +0000 808love 2787417@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Welcome to traditional school. Yes, there is coloring and tracing in preschool. Parent attitude especially if overheard by child can negatively impact the situation as well as just natural inclinations/temperament/strengths of your child. This is an opportunity to begin coaching your child to succeed in the current school or pull them out and move to another. I don’t think you will be able to change the minds nor imagine that they come up with a different thing for your child, each time the class is participating in seat work. They may allow it but it may not be beneficial in the school adjustment strategy long-term. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/preschool-schoolwork-question#post-2787413 Sat, 18 Nov 2017 11:05:47 +0000 Foodnerd81 2787413@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would be really upset about that too. That seems really developmentally inappropriate for a 3 year old. Seems like a good way to make him dislike writing. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/preschool-schoolwork-question#post-2787391 Sat, 18 Nov 2017 09:44:16 +0000 FaithFertility 2787391@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would ask for how long are they supoosed to sit/trace?! If it is a letter or two, I would expect that, but for worksheets at a time, no! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/preschool-schoolwork-question#post-2787386 Sat, 18 Nov 2017 09:20:48 +0000 LemonJack 2787386@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would be livid. You are absolutely correct that their expectations are not reasonable for most 3 year olds. Studies prove this. At that age, the majority of their learning needs to be through movement and interactive play. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/preschool-schoolwork-question#post-2787385 Sat, 18 Nov 2017 09:10:29 +0000 sharpie 2787385@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My 3 year old attends daycare (he's in the young preschool class) and I'm wondering if I'm overreacting or not.</p> <p>Every week since the school year started we've gotten a packet of homework. It's usually tracing or counting. I'll admit after the first two weeks we stopped trying to force our son to complete this homework. He wasn't interested and it was a fight and I thought it was ridiculous he had homework in the first place, so we just stopped. I told the director and she said it wasn't mandatory.</p> <p>Yesterday in his daily email there was a note saying he doesn't want to sit and do his work, or when he does he just scribbles on the paper.</p> <p>I'm annoyed at the expectation that a 3 year old should be able to sit and "do work" (tracing, etc.). I'm not at all surprised that he isn't interested in doing this work after trying the homework with him, and I don't blame him. Is this even effective for learning at this age?</p> <p>Am I crazy or is it reasonable to expect this of a 3 year old? </p>