https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 22 Apr 2026 19:29:21 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/preschool-when-not-fully-toilet-ready-wwyd#post-2846324 Wed, 19 Sep 2018 10:13:27 +0000 Madison43 2846324@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@CatchAFallingStar: yeah, it’s tough but I would try and power through. And also talk with her teacher about your concerns. They deal with this all the time! Also. I know at our school, some of the parents in the 2 day classes have a standing play date at a local park on a non-school day (it helps the kids get more comfortable with each other and it’s always nice to have grown up company). Maybe you could start something like that? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/preschool-when-not-fully-toilet-ready-wwyd#post-2846321 Wed, 19 Sep 2018 10:08:37 +0000 CatchAFallingStar 2846321@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Madison43: yeah she’s not having accidents... just doesn’t want to go. Major separation anxiety. I feel so bad for her. It’s heartbreaking. :crying: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/preschool-when-not-fully-toilet-ready-wwyd#post-2846304 Wed, 19 Sep 2018 09:48:14 +0000 Madison43 2846304@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@CatchAFallingStar: is she having accidents or she just doesn’t want to go to school? Our preschool just sent a reminder that separation anxiety can actually peak for kids after the first few weeks of school bc the novelty has worn off and they realize that there are going to have to keep going. My about to be 3 yo goes 2 days from 9-12 and it’s bumpy as hell for those kids for a while. Even my 5 yo’s class which is 5 days/week has kids that still cry every day. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/preschool-when-not-fully-toilet-ready-wwyd#post-2846300 Wed, 19 Sep 2018 09:43:26 +0000 Foodnerd81 2846300@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I tend to agree with @LBee: - in particular I have heard that fewer days of school can make it harder for kids because they don’t know whether they are going to school or not. Consistency can make t easier for kids to anticipate and get used to it. That said- both my kids started with only 2 days a week, so obviously I don’t think that’s the wrong thing to do or anything! </p> <p>I would also want to sit down with the teacher without your LO present to find out how she is doing during the day. My 5 year old has said things like “no one would play with me” and her teacher told me she just didn’t know what game they were playing but once the teacher helped her get involved she was playing and having a great time. Basically even at 5 I get like 20% of the true story from her. </p> <p>I think she just needs more time to get used to it. Good luck. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/preschool-when-not-fully-toilet-ready-wwyd#post-2846298 Wed, 19 Sep 2018 09:30:45 +0000 LBee 2846298@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would personally focus on potty training her fully (not doing pull-ups when you are out and about) and ask the teachers to prompt her to go potty before transitions. At this point I would think pull-ups are giving her a false sense of security and she simply forgot she didn't have that safety net when she was swinging. She needs to learn to listen to her body and the only way to really do that is to cut the pull-ups out. </p> <p>Are you able to bump up her days, but cut back her time? We've found that consistency really helps with school anxiety. It's hard to get into a groove when you are just going 2 days. I'm assuming this is her first school experience -- I would focus on telling her that this is an important part of life and it is an opportunity to learn and grow. Our school usually says to give it until October to flush out. I would also talk with her teachers to find out if she's distressed during school. I know she said she cried during snack - but as a heads up, my son says crazy stuff all the time ("I played with no one today") that I often have photographic proof from school that is inaccurate. Kids are weird. </p> <p>I understand it's upsetting (I've been there), but you need to stay strong for her. In 2 years she will be going to school 5 days a week and this is good prep for that. I would leverage your relationship with the teachers and try to get their help. I know when my son was having trouble we put a picture of us in his backpack that he could look at when he missed us... maybe they have ideas like that? I think the worst thing you can do is to pull her out -- you need to focus on finding solutions, not on just giving up. It's a great opportunity to teach your daughter that when things are hard you power through and conquer them!</p> <p>ETA: I really think that the pull-ups are sort of analogous to this overall situation. You need to push your daughter to FULLY conquer this and have success as opposed to give her the option to not. It's what parenting is all about. I know you want to be her safety net (and you can explain that you will always be there to pick her up at the end of the day), but she's a big girl and this is what big girls do. Just think of it as empowering a future feminist. She can do this! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/preschool-when-not-fully-toilet-ready-wwyd#post-2846296 Wed, 19 Sep 2018 09:20:50 +0000 Mrs Green Grass 2846296@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I guess I don’t agree with everyone else. We had to start pr school before my son was ready to potty train and it turned into a 3 year saga for us. (Just #2.) I would actually ask the School what they think because they have the most experience with this situation. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/preschool-when-not-fully-toilet-ready-wwyd#post-2846226 Tue, 18 Sep 2018 20:56:18 +0000 CatchAFallingStar 2846226@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It’s gotten so much worse!! I don’t understand why she hates going so much. She’s begging us not to have to go tomorrow. She’s crying and screaming. It breaks my heart!!! Help! What should I do? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/preschool-when-not-fully-toilet-ready-wwyd#post-2844712 Tue, 11 Sep 2018 12:07:51 +0000 hellobeeboston 2844712@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@CatchAFallingStar: Aww, hugs. Poor thing... I agree with the others, stick with it. She'll get used to it and feel more confident about asking to go to the bathroom as she gets more familiar. </p> <p>I'm saying "stick with it" as much to you as to myself this week. My 2.9 year old just started preschool 5 days a week from 9-12, and he's been hysterically crying the last few days of drop off :( each day he cries a little less and bounces back faster, but its HARD. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/preschool-when-not-fully-toilet-ready-wwyd#post-2844599 Mon, 10 Sep 2018 20:52:02 +0000 Littlebit7 2844599@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Aww hugs to you. This is so hard.<br /> My daughter just started 5 day a week full day pre-K 3 last week. She’s 3.5. She had an accident during nap on Friday. I was trying to ask her about it and she said “there was something yellow on the potty so I was scared”. So I’m guessing she didn’t go before nap. I’m also having them try to skip a pull up during nap. I felt so awful for her </p> <p>But I’m trying to focus on what I can do to make this a positive experience: talking about telling the teachers when she needs to pee, decreasing the size of her water bottle (she will drink gallons of water), treats for dry pull-ups on weekend naps etc<br /> Only you know your daughter but I’d give it some more time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/preschool-when-not-fully-toilet-ready-wwyd#post-2844535 Mon, 10 Sep 2018 15:17:39 +0000 KT326 2844535@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree with the others, she just needs time to adjust. I would also ask the teacher to make sure she is going potty. At that age they should have potty breaks in the schedule too.</p> <p>Also wanted to note, my oldest did not self initiate going potty until he was 4.5. He is the king of the potty dance and even to this day at 6.5 I still have to tell him to just go potty when I see him dancing around. He just doesn't want to miss out on anything! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/preschool-when-not-fully-toilet-ready-wwyd#post-2844533 Mon, 10 Sep 2018 15:11:53 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2844533@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think the teacher should be initiating some potty use within a 3hr window. With my oldest even in her public TK she had to adjust to not being afraid to go or ask to go, rather. I think this is something where a little encouragement especially from the teacher can go a long way. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/preschool-when-not-fully-toilet-ready-wwyd#post-2844496 Mon, 10 Sep 2018 12:58:37 +0000 DesertDreams88 2844496@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>agree with others and "the kissing hand" is a great book for this </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/preschool-when-not-fully-toilet-ready-wwyd#post-2844471 Mon, 10 Sep 2018 10:17:35 +0000 peaches1038 2844471@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Same here. DS has 3 weeks off from daycare and that’s when we potty trained and he was accident free by the end of that time. The first day back at daycare, he had several accidents. The next day I made sure to actually SHOWs him where the potty was at school (even though he already knew) and talked about what he can say to the teacher when he needs to go. No accidents since! Stick with it! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/preschool-when-not-fully-toilet-ready-wwyd#post-2844449 Mon, 10 Sep 2018 09:03:35 +0000 snowjewelz 2844449@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would stick it out and see also. </p> <p>My DD is 3.75 and potty trained at 3.5 with no accidents ever; and lo and she literally peed her pants for the first time eve on the first day of school. She has been fine since. Give her some time to adjust! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/preschool-when-not-fully-toilet-ready-wwyd#post-2844430 Mon, 10 Sep 2018 07:56:40 +0000 Madison43 2844430@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Definitely give her time to adjust. I’m sure once she figures out the potty routine and is comfortable enough to tell her teacher when she has to go, it will be fine! Also, they make you pack a change of clothes for a reason - it happens to everyone! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/preschool-when-not-fully-toilet-ready-wwyd#post-2844412 Mon, 10 Sep 2018 07:25:22 +0000 bhbee 2844412@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Agree keep trying! If she didn’t cry when you left that’s great. I had to literally drag my son in last week but he was fine once I left and enjoyed it. The first weeks at our preschool are a mess at drop off (and other times) - the kids just need a couple weeks to adjust. I think she will quickly figure out potty. Maybe try to cut out all daytime pull-ups also? But of course you’re the best judge if she’s ready.<br /> Also does she have a lovey or something? Even if she can’t have it out having it in the bag might help. My 1st grader still packs her lovey in a special pocket! (She did get it out at preschool and would put it back once she felt better.) We also sometimes do “hug buttons” - a sticker (we use a fun nail decal) she can press when she misses me - early on I would put one on too and “send” her hugs all day. I got that idea online there are others out there too to help with separation, just little things (she may not even need it because her first day sounds pretty good!). We had a pretty severe case but powered through and it gets better! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/preschool-when-not-fully-toilet-ready-wwyd#post-2844404 Mon, 10 Sep 2018 07:01:17 +0000 gotkimchi 2844404@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree give it 3 weeks then see </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/preschool-when-not-fully-toilet-ready-wwyd#post-2844387 Mon, 10 Sep 2018 04:11:28 +0000 Pumuckl 2844387@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh hugs mama :heart: first days are always tough. </p> <p>I think I would honestly not change anything to your plans for now. Children need some time to adjust to new situations and learning to overcome the initial fear is a life skill. It sounds as though she has a very observant and caring teacher who will probably have an eye on her regarding potty next time. I would probably also make sure to go over the things DD has to do when she needs to go potty (find your teacher, tell her you need to go, go inside to potty, wash hands, come back etc.) and also check with her if she knows where in the buliding etc. she has to go.</p> <p>As far as the crying and missing mum part is concerned I would give her some time and as long as her teacher was able to calm her down all is well. She has to learn that she can trust other people than her parents and that might take some time but the fact that the teacher was able to calm her is a great first sign. </p> <p>I hope she'll find her spot in the group and quickly make new friends. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/preschool-when-not-fully-toilet-ready-wwyd#post-2844386 Mon, 10 Sep 2018 01:56:07 +0000 CatchAFallingStar 2844386@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My 3.5yo DD started a 2-day a week, 1/2 day preschool schedule last Wednesday. She was sooooo excited to go. She was a little reluctant when I left, but didn’t cry. When I picked her up, the teacher said that she stayed on the swing for a long time when they had outside time because she had peed and was embarrassed, didn’t want anyone to know. She’s pretty much potty trained except at night. But, she still wears a pull-up when we’re not at home. She also told me she cried during snack time, saying she wanted me. </p> <p>When I think about it, it makes my stomach turn thinking of how embarrassed she was and I’m starting to consider that maybe she isn’t quite ready. She has since said that she wants to go again but not for the full 3 hours. </p> <p>Would you cut back on the amount of time she’s there? Maybe 2 hours? Or just do one day a week? Or pull her out for now and start when she’s completely self sufficient going potty? </p>