https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 12 Jul 2026 13:27:17 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pros-and-cons-city-vs-small-town#post-698111 Sun, 07 Apr 2013 22:55:21 +0000 mlm2934 698111@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Emsmems: It was the "small world" aspect of living in a small town, but I'm not realizing that I can still have a broad life and world experience living in a small town. Just because my parents didn't give me that, doesn't mean that I won't give it to my children. </p> <p>And I sooo wish there was a larger town close by to make the bridge, but my hometown is nicely situated where it is 2 hours from major cities in each direction, but all just small towns in between. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pros-and-cons-city-vs-small-town#post-661780 Fri, 22 Mar 2013 15:52:45 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 661780@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>For us, we thought a lot about the environment and sustainability. Mr. Jacks has grown up never being able to see another house from his house! He really wanted us to move to rural Montana or Idaho and live on big acreage. I grew up in lots of places, from NYC to small town rural California and some big cities in between. I was happy in almost all those places, actually. But with babies who need input (school, doctors, cultural events) and a mama that needs a large academic medical center for the family's survival, we had to pick a big city. I wanted one with a small town feel and I wanted a commute with a tiny carbon footprint. I also didn't want to drive miles to do my favorite activities (outdoors, snowboarding) and I wanted great access to wilderness without a massive drive. (I hated the Sacramento to Tahoe slog).</p> <p>We live in the center of our city, but our section of town feels like the small towns we grew up in. In the time I've been typing this up, I haven't heard a single car on our street which is pretty routine for our section of town!</p> <p>So, I guess as is usual for me, I wasn't willing to sacrifice one of my desires for the other, and luckily found a place where I'm able to have it all! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pros-and-cons-city-vs-small-town#post-661542 Fri, 22 Mar 2013 13:49:10 +0000 Lozza 661542@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I occasionally have this desire to move out to a small town, but I doubt it will happen.<br /> I'm not sure I count as a real city dweller (I live two miles outside the DC border), but we're certainly close (like, walking distance to the DC metro). I like all of the things we have access to- LO doesn't hang out so much in our neighborhood (though we can, there are like 5 playgrounds in walking distance), but we do a big outing pretty much once a weekend- National Aquarium, Air &amp; Space museum, National Christmas Tree Lighting, National Book Festival, and while he likes that stuff ok now as a 2 year old, I think it'll be even cooler for a 10 year old. I appreciate the diversity of our area- I went to very homogenous schools growing up, and LO's educational experience will certainly not be like that. I also think that cities can be easier places to find your niche, (if you're willing to put in the effort). Whether LO is into sports, or drama, or music, or Japanese manga, or indie filmmaking, or wants to volunteer at the National Zoo, or dinosaurs, or whatever... he can find that stuff in the city, and (almost more importantly), it'll be a lot easier to link up with people who are also into that. I think about the small Southern towns that I knew, and how uncomfortable they were when I was a teen for kids who weren't straight, white, Christian, and into football/athletics, and I'm glad that my kid won't grow up in that environment. (Not that all towns are like that, but I do think that there are definitely still places where that's an issue)<br /> I don't mean to be down on small towns (like I said, I occasionally feel like for the good of LO we should totally move to one), but I felt like the thread wasn't seeing much city love, so I wanted to chime in on some of the reasons we'll probably stay close to one :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pros-and-cons-city-vs-small-town#post-661488 Fri, 22 Mar 2013 13:26:54 +0000 AprilK 661488@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We ran into this after our son was born - we lived in downtown Chicago and just felt like hamsters on a wheel. We didn't have much family there. We weren't going anywhere financially and were just stuck. We ended up moving about a year and a half ago to Indianapolis to better our quality of life - my parents moved up here around the same time and my sister lived here already. Then my brother moved back here with his wife this last fall. Our situation was a bit different in two ways - 1) I didn't move back to where I went to high school, so didn't have to deal with running into high school boyfriends and the like at the grocery store or feeling like I was back in the same situation that I always fantasized about moving away from and 2) Indy is really a pretty big city and has a lot of nice things to do and amenities, so it's nothing like moving to a small town. But I WILL say that the financial situation is head and shoulders better and that we DO (even with a two year old) make time to go back to Chicago and have fun with our friends. If you make it a priority you can do it. We make it back there every 2-3 months (and use airbnb.com to rent apartments to make ourselves feel less like visitors and more at home! haha)</p> <p>I will say, there are a TON of benefits of being around friends/family, esp when you have little ones. And if you are feeling stuck, like too much of your money is just being sucked away, that's a hard feeling to ignore and not do anything about. I know for us we just started feeling trapped and the feeling got worse by the hour it felt like.</p> <p>I do know that when we were trying, I did not want to move yet b.c I was worried that I would just go nuts with a quieter lifestyle AND worrying about getting pregnant. It was NOT an easy process for us, took us about a year and a miscarriage to get our son. So maybe waiting until shortly before/after a baby is born may not be a bad idea? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pros-and-cons-city-vs-small-town#post-661464 Fri, 22 Mar 2013 13:18:50 +0000 Emsmems 661464@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@runnerd: why did you swear you'd never go back? DH said this about his home town, but realized it was because he hated how everyone knew everyone and kids couldn't get away with much because of that. He realized that was a GOOD thing once we were talking about a family. We are in a neighboring city to his hometown where it is bigger and more city-like but is not a metropolis! It's a good in between for us and his family is still close. My family, however, still lives 1.5 hours away. I wish they would just move closer and it would be perfect! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pros-and-cons-city-vs-small-town#post-661289 Fri, 22 Mar 2013 12:14:12 +0000 Mrs. Sketchbook 661289@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@runnerd: one more thing....with a kid you won't be getting to the city as much as you might anticipate. Plus I get sorta guilty when I run to the city every weekend instead of digging in and doing stuff here. (Being a homeowner does that too). But if you are close to family I think it is a real benefit. DH and I have frequent date nights and always have a babysitter when we need one. Plus, the more you're out of the city the more you'll find local resources that make you less reliant upon the city's offerings! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pros-and-cons-city-vs-small-town#post-661275 Fri, 22 Mar 2013 12:08:41 +0000 Mrs. Sketchbook 661275@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wrote a post about this!</p> <p><a href="http://www.hellobee.com/2013/01/11/roots-or-wings/" rel="nofollow">http://www.hellobee.com/2013/01/11/roots-or-wings/</a></p> <p>DH and I moved to the country 2 years ago due to a job offer. It has been hard on me at times because it is his small town but not mine. Still, after 2 years I can say I am really glad to be here. It sometimes feels isolating, but then again I think urban life can be just as lonely. We have tons of friends and family-- I feel I have a real identity here. I think of losing all that and being a nameless, faceless suburbanite and it kinda scares me (a compete 180 from the person I used to be, ex-suburbanite who couldn't live more than 10 minutes from Target). Plus I like that my kid is not bombarded with affluence and marketing. And he gets to have a real relationship with his grandparents. I think you should go for it. If it is your small town you are likely to ease in with no trouble. You just have to make it a priority to get out and socialize. A lot of my DH's high school friends visit over the holidays and express some wistfulness about our living here. They live all over the country and they miss their crappy small town! To be honest this area is economically depressed but the people are great and I feel I am contributing to the life of the town by choosing to live here. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pros-and-cons-city-vs-small-town#post-661233 Fri, 22 Mar 2013 11:54:58 +0000 pui 661233@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would never live in the city. It's the suburban life for me! I grew up in a suburb of Montreal, but it was still a very small town. Nice and quiet and all that, but still only 40 minutes from centre ville. Ideal imho.</p> <p>Personally I also like living at least somewhat close to entertainment/amenities. Like being within a short distance of a movie theatre and a mall. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pros-and-cons-city-vs-small-town#post-661227 Fri, 22 Mar 2013 11:53:17 +0000 jetsa 661227@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My husband and I are both from the same small town also; about 2 hours from STL. We split the difference 5 (omg how!) years ago when i graduated college and moved to a rural area about an hour outside of STL, and worked in the city/metro area. We hated the area and the pace and knew no one so we moved closer to home 2 years ago. It was the best decision we could have made. We are still 45 mins from where we grew up but we are back in the groove of a smaller area and love it. We cannot wait to raise our child here. Not the exact situation to yours but close. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pros-and-cons-city-vs-small-town#post-661225 Fri, 22 Mar 2013 11:52:32 +0000 BananaPancakes 661225@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I live in a town of 40,000 (born and raised), and I hate it. I went to college in Orlando and liked it much better. There is so much more to do. And you're not constantly running into people you know. And everyone doesn't know your business. My husband loves smaller towns, though, so here we are. If something ever happened to him, I would be out of here so fast. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pros-and-cons-city-vs-small-town#post-661124 Fri, 22 Mar 2013 11:22:11 +0000 Bluebonnet 661124@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If I could work from home full time, make the same as I'm making now, but expenses would be 50% less AND I'd be near family and friends, I'd do it in a heartbeat. If it doesn't work out after a couple of years, you can always move back. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pros-and-cons-city-vs-small-town#post-661095 Fri, 22 Mar 2013 11:08:57 +0000 Honeybee 661095@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I love small town living. I grew up in a town of about 2,000 and even when I moved away for college, I chose a tiny school in a town of only 40,000. DH and I graduated college and moved to another small town of only 25,000, so both of us really appreciate small town living.</p> <p>However, we recently decided to move to a suburb of a big city, and I think it was the best decision for our family. Jobs-wise, we probably could have made it work in the small town; we did make it work for 4+ years before we moved. Our final decision came down to the fact that our kids will have so many more opportunities where we are now than they did in our old small town. They can go to a specialized school (for music, performing arts, ski school, religious school, etc...) and they have the option of a lot more different types of activities. If they excel at school (or if they have learning/developmental issues), if they have medical issues, etc... all the resources are 15 minutes away as opposed to 2 hours away. I actually love that our families are a little further drive because it forces us to be a little more independent, rather than relying on our families. It's a hard decision to make, and I think either way there are pros and cons, but these are the reasons we ultimately decided to move to the suburbs rather than stay in a small town. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pros-and-cons-city-vs-small-town#post-661060 Fri, 22 Mar 2013 11:01:57 +0000 Happygal 661060@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've never lived in a really small town, but my DH has. He loved his experience growing up there and said it's a great way to raise a family. I know my job opportunities would be limited there though, and I would really miss some of the stuff our current town offers. We don't live in a big city now, but it's a college town that brings in lots of cultural events and has good food shopping choices with farms nearby, etc.</p> <p>My DH said that on one hand, it's really nice always bumping into people you've known all your life, but on the other hand, it can feel smothering at times. We've talked about the fact that once we start a family, we won't be making last minute decisions to go out for Mexican food or grab a beer with friends as much (or at all!) like we currently do, meaning the stuff we value now in this town won't be as important.</p> <p>One thing to keep in mind is that nothing is permanent. Sure, you don't want to leave one area and be unhappy and have to make another move soon. But if it did turn out the move wasn't the right choice for you, you could always move again. Remembering that helps me when faced with decisions like you have right now. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pros-and-cons-city-vs-small-town#post-661039 Fri, 22 Mar 2013 10:56:07 +0000 Mrs. Twine 661039@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I live in a town of 192 people. Including my own family. We are three hours away from the Twin Cities, two from Sioux Falls, and one from Watertown. I love it. Before Lowly was born we would sometimes go to the Cities for plays or museums. Before moving here I lived in New Orleans. The crime was just depressing, and it was much more expensive and... frantic. I do miss some things, especially public transportation since I now have a car-hater, but on balance I'm happier here. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pros-and-cons-city-vs-small-town#post-661035 Fri, 22 Mar 2013 10:54:39 +0000 Foodnerd81 661035@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I currently live in a big city but grew up in a suburb, of a big city. So, I really can't imagine actual small town living, but I do think a lot about when we will move out of the city-- probably in the next three years, before this LO starts school.<br /> I do look forward to some of the nice things about living outside of the city, but like @Pirouette: I think we will always be within commuting distance of a big city. DH's job is in finance, and in general, the types of jobs he'll have will always be in a major metro area. But that suits us, I can't imagine ever being more than an hour from a city. I can totally hear you on wanting to be closer to the family though, and if you think you would enjoy working from home full time, it sounds like a great opportunity, whenever you decide to take it. I am not great at working from home-- get too distracted-- so it would be a bad option for me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pros-and-cons-city-vs-small-town#post-661024 Fri, 22 Mar 2013 10:49:17 +0000 Pirouette 661024@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@runnerd: I have the same regrets! DH assures me that we have plenty of time to do that and that once we get pregnant it will be much easier to cultivate those relationships and join the communities because we'll have a LO on the way... I can't exactly join a mommy group while TTC (other than this site, lol) I do think it is harder in a big city, but the opportunities are definitely there. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pros-and-cons-city-vs-small-town#post-661020 Fri, 22 Mar 2013 10:48:36 +0000 Boheme 661020@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it sounds like a great option for you! The city isn't too far for a day trip when you need one. And the financial progress is a great perk, along with being able to see friends and family easily. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pros-and-cons-city-vs-small-town#post-661012 Fri, 22 Mar 2013 10:45:34 +0000 mlm2934 661012@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@char54: as I get older I realizing how much I miss (and am missing out on) having ability to just pop in and see friends and family, impromptu unplanned visits. You're situation basically describes exactly what I'm trying to decide on</p> <p>@Pirouette: at the same time I do like the anonymity of city life! On other hand as I am getting ready to start a family, I'm regretting that we haven't formed a better community of our own within the city </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pros-and-cons-city-vs-small-town#post-660997 Fri, 22 Mar 2013 10:40:39 +0000 Pirouette 660997@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>that sounds like a really good option for you - i know we could never do it because i could never fully work from home and keep my salary. plus i love working in a big city. I grew up in a small community and didn't like it as a kid - and I don't think my parents really liked it either. It felt a little too much like everyone was up in each other's business and so gossipy (every community is different!). </p> <p>I like the anonymity of a big city, while knowing that it doesn't have to always feel anonymous because there's always a way to seek out tight communities within the big city. that said, I see myself inevitably settling in the suburbs because I can't afford to give my children the life i'd want in a big city. but i think i'll always work in the city, so i'll always be within reasonable commuting distance. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pros-and-cons-city-vs-small-town#post-660966 Fri, 22 Mar 2013 10:28:35 +0000 Charm54 660966@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My husband and I both grew up in the same small town (around 10,000 people). We both went away to seperate big cities for university and just happened to move back to the town afterwards to work. We are able to save SO much more money and have a better quality of life than if we lived in the big city. It is also invaluable for us to be so close to family. We love having Sunday night suppers at my parents' place with all the relatives and I think their support will be awesome as our family grows.</p> <p>Overall we love the lifestyle here. I love going to the grocery store and running into a bunch of people that I know. I love popping over to my sister's place after work. I love walking the streets and knowing they are safe, clean and there are kids galore.</p> <p> I'm not going to lie - I do miss the features of a big city that has so much to do, but we go to the 'city' around once a month to get our fix. It's made us live simpler and do more easygoing things with friends instead. We snowshoe, ski, go to the beach, have dinner parties, etc. </p> <p>We may have to move in the future but one of my criteria is that it is a small community! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pros-and-cons-city-vs-small-town#post-660962 Fri, 22 Mar 2013 10:27:04 +0000 prettylizy 660962@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm such a small town person, that would always be my choice. I love that the neighbours look out for eachother. Kids play in the streets/yards with eachother. The ladies at the grocery store recognize LO and ask how she's doing. There is a little bit of 'everyone knows everyone' but I prefer that over worrying all the time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pros-and-cons-city-vs-small-town#post-660946 Fri, 22 Mar 2013 10:21:54 +0000 littlek 660946@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've always lived in a big city (DC) so I definitely think it would be great to live in a small town. People who live here are so money hungry and competitive, it's annoying. I would love to live a simpler life, but it's hard to walk away from our good paying jobs. I love the idea of a small town, but then again, I have never lived in a small town so I may be basing this on what I've seen in movies. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pros-and-cons-city-vs-small-town#post-660869 Fri, 22 Mar 2013 10:03:07 +0000 mlm2934 660869@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My husband and I are both from the same small town, (&lt;10k population) and when I left for college nearly 9 years ago, I swore I would never ever go back.</p> <p>Fast-forward: we are in our late 20s, live outside of a major city in an adorable suburb, but we feel like our values are shifted. It feels like too much of our income is going toward lifestyle: housing, entertainment, access to events. And not enough focus on important values like family, living simply etc. (most of our close family and friends still live in hometown).</p> <p>We have the possibility of working from home and maintains current salary, but moving back home where cost of living is nearly 50% lower. We reason that we could make crazy progress financially, and use the weekends to go to our city and still take advantage of fun things we enjoy (2 hours away)</p> <p>Anyone done both? Was it worth giving up the city for the country? I worry I'm romanticizing it in my head and might go stir crazy in reality.... </p>