https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 16 Apr 2026 11:55:36 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pros-and-cons-of-finding-out-the-gender-of-baby#post-32766 Tue, 13 Dec 2011 08:26:51 +0000 Mrs. Sunglasses 32766@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wanted to do team green with my first but the hubs did not want. He WANTED to know, and seeing I decided almost everything ;) I gave him veto on knowning the sex. Second time around I WANT TO KNOW. (fingers crossed for a girl) but my sister had a hard time getting pregnant, and had to go the insemination route. So seeing that was so, "unnatural" she wanted the sex to be a surprise.</p> <p>I think it bothers everyone else more than her... but we loved finding out we were having a niece! I think there are more pros then cons with team green. Think about it as "it will be a wonderful surprise after all that pushing! " </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pros-and-cons-of-finding-out-the-gender-of-baby#post-32761 Tue, 13 Dec 2011 06:40:07 +0000 looch 32761@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Both my husband and I are project managers in our professional lives, so we decided to take a break from spreadsheets and project plans for our pregnancy. I had moments where I wanted to know the gender, but one of the top moments of our marriage was when my husband told me we had a son, just a second or so after he was born. No cake or ultrasound tech can even come close for me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pros-and-cons-of-finding-out-the-gender-of-baby#post-32719 Mon, 12 Dec 2011 21:48:58 +0000 MsMamaBear 32719@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MamaMoose: I was thinking the same thing. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pros-and-cons-of-finding-out-the-gender-of-baby#post-32712 Mon, 12 Dec 2011 21:32:20 +0000 MamaMoose 32712@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm surprised at how many people say they want to find out ahead of time so they have time to adjust if there is gender disappointment. I actually feel the opposite. I would think there is no way you would have gender disappointment when the baby is actually there. How could you look at your newly born child and feel any kind of disappontment. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pros-and-cons-of-finding-out-the-gender-of-baby#post-32706 Mon, 12 Dec 2011 21:22:24 +0000 MsMamaBear 32706@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We were team Green and loved it. I am the only person in real life I know who was Team Green. I loved it!</p> <p>There's nothing better than going into labor, water breaking, 15hrs of labor and my SO finally wheeling her out (had an emergency c-section) and telling everyone "It's a girl!" I mean, everyone was invested in my pregnancy because they wanted to find out what Baby Bear was!</p> <p>As far as bonding, you still bond. I bonded very well with Baby Bear and her personality on the inside is still the same on the outside, seriously, I knew she was fiesty.lol</p> <p>I plan the hell out of things, but i did great with planning her room. Neutral is quite nice and I love it. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pros-and-cons-of-finding-out-the-gender-of-baby#post-32700 Mon, 12 Dec 2011 21:13:20 +0000 MsMini 32700@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Ree723: I am totally with you on knowing all about the baby (other than the size) prior to the birth takes away the anticipation for when others have their baby. I haven't had many people I know be team green, but when they were, that middle of the night announcement text message (my close friends/family send a mass text to alert of the birth and details) with gender, name, weight, etc was so much more fun to get!</p> <p>I am also a big planner, but for me, not being able to buy gender specific clothing will probably be a blessing. I can buy the essentials in gender neutral, and the rest I can just deal with later, and I probably won't go overboard. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pros-and-cons-of-finding-out-the-gender-of-baby#post-32694 Mon, 12 Dec 2011 21:04:47 +0000 mediagirl 32694@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Con for us for team green: names. We really want to narrow it down to just one gender. Plus, I really want to say he or she or baby girl or baby boy to my belly. :-) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pros-and-cons-of-finding-out-the-gender-of-baby#post-32653 Mon, 12 Dec 2011 20:15:19 +0000 Ree723 32653@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We are team green as well - I want that surprise when the baby is born. I think there will be no other feeling like it. Someone mentioned earlier that you may feel disappointed if you had your heart set on one gender but then it turned out to be the other - I think the opposite. After going through 40 weeks of pregnancy and hours of labour, I am going to be over the moon excited regardless of the gender, regardless of what I originally hoped for. However, at a 20 week u/s, when you don't have a gorgeous baby in your arms, I think it's easier to feel disappointment about the gender.</p> <p>This is just a silly pet peeve of mine, but I can't stand when people refer to their fetus by the name they plan on using when the baby is born. I don't know why, but it just makes my skin crawl. Not finding out the gender is just another way to avoid having that happen as DH and I refer to our bub by a little gender neutral nickname. </p> <p>I also like the idea of people being excited when the baby arrives - making that announcement of "It's a ___!" is going to be such a great feeling. Again, a silly pet peeve but I find it very boring when I know almost all of the details before the baby is born (i.e. it's a boy/girl, the name is going to be X, etc). I just don't get as excited when those babies are born - I'm thinking in particular of my SIL here who also had a planned c-section so the only exciting detail was 'how big is he?' We knew the name (she referred to it by the name from the day she found out), we knew the gender, we knew the day/time he was going to arrive - it was such an anticlimactic event when he was born.</p> <p>I'm a natural planner and it's killing me to be Team Green but I am 100% committed to it and can't wait for the moment when the doctor makes the announcement of "It's a _____!" </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pros-and-cons-of-finding-out-the-gender-of-baby#post-32642 Mon, 12 Dec 2011 20:08:49 +0000 heffalump 32642@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Pros for finding out for me is that I could personalize a lot. We picked out a name, and have a lot of gifts that were personalized with that. Also I am a planner and I probably would have thought that everything wasn't completely finished if I didn't know. That being said, we're going team green next time.</p> <p>Cons are that I was constantly worried that they got the gender wrong. Especially because everything in her room and her wardrobe was pink. And of course, you don't get the fun suprise when the baby comes. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pros-and-cons-of-finding-out-the-gender-of-baby#post-32635 Mon, 12 Dec 2011 20:05:09 +0000 chopsuey 32635@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I like knowing things in advance (I always skip to the end of a book before I start reading) so there were no cons to knowing we were having a girl! ;) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pros-and-cons-of-finding-out-the-gender-of-baby#post-32628 Mon, 12 Dec 2011 19:57:11 +0000 rachiecakes 32628@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>one word for me: SHOPPING!<br /> for DH, he was terrified of having a boy - and of course, we ARE having a boy, lol - but I'm glad we found out so that he had months to get over his issues and could get excited about it. If he had the moment of dread when the doctor announced "it's a boy!" I don't know how I'd deal with that :/ </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pros-and-cons-of-finding-out-the-gender-of-baby#post-32612 Mon, 12 Dec 2011 19:41:35 +0000 MsMini 32612@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Me and DH are team green as well, and from the time we first started discussing TTC we had decided that team green was the only way to go for us. </p> <p>For us, I see no cons to being team green, I would decorate the nursery neutrally anyways, so I could use it as/is for future babies, and I want all of our major items to be gender neutral.<br /> I don't think that my bond with my baby could be any stronger if I knew it has a penis vs vagina. I am very strongly bonded to my baby. I gave it a "fetus name" from very early on, and those close to us call it that name as well. I am sure it will be weird to call our baby by a different name once it is born, but I don't think I could call it by its name until it was born anyways.<br /> It is a lot of fun for us and everyone around us to try to guess, apply old wives tales, etc to figure out what the baby is. Almost everyone has been really enthusiastic about our team green status, and is excited to find out what the baby is once it is born. We have only had 1 friend make a negative comment, because they didn't enjoy when they were team green.</p> <p>I have had a feeling since early on that the baby is a boy, but I really have no preference for gender, so I won't be disappointed at all at the birth regardless of the babies gender. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pros-and-cons-of-finding-out-the-gender-of-baby#post-32607 Mon, 12 Dec 2011 19:30:16 +0000 katdevargas 32607@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm at 29 weeks right now &amp; we are team green. I really wanted to do this because I thought it would be such a neat experience to find out at the end, you know? I can't wait. and how many genuine surprises are there anymore? the husbone is with me all the way &amp; we just refer to baby as "baby v" &amp; I say him a lot, but we also say her sometimes. I haven't had a feeling one way or the other &amp; as long as the baby is healthy, you know? I also really like the fact that people are not able to buy us gender specific gifts as I know that we would be getting all sorts of crap &amp; I'm really trying to keep baby stuff to a minimum. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pros-and-cons-of-finding-out-the-gender-of-baby#post-32603 Mon, 12 Dec 2011 19:07:03 +0000 L2sweetpea 32603@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@cupcakemama: We also spent a bunch of time speculating the sex and researching all the old wives tales. It was fun! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pros-and-cons-of-finding-out-the-gender-of-baby#post-32601 Mon, 12 Dec 2011 19:01:07 +0000 cupcakemama 32601@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Also meant to say, we spent so much time speculating on the sex! Sounds strange but it was so much fun! I also disagree with the stronger connection if you find out the sex. I tended to refer to baby as he, not because I thought it was a boy but rather than call it "it". </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pros-and-cons-of-finding-out-the-gender-of-baby#post-32600 Mon, 12 Dec 2011 18:57:42 +0000 cupcakemama 32600@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We were team green and never really considered not being so. The 'It's a boy/girl!' moment after baby was born was one that we wanted experience and not miss out on. It was one of the most special/bonding/amazing moments of my life. For us no amount of time to plan could have outweighed that moment. Granted we are very traditional. To me this is similar to a First Look at a wedding - it makes all kind of practical sense but for us it would detract from a milestone moment. Everyone is different though!</p> <p>I can't believe people being annoyed that you don't find out/tell them! Ummm, none of your business! Even close family, unless you are going to carry and deliver this child then you have no say. We didn't cop any of that and actually none of my friends found out what they were having either. I think maybe it is not done as much here. ( I don't live in the US) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pros-and-cons-of-finding-out-the-gender-of-baby#post-32598 Mon, 12 Dec 2011 18:54:00 +0000 L2sweetpea 32598@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was all about finding gender out but the hubs didn't want to so we were team green. I will second all of @HabesBabe: pros and cons with the exception of having a "stronger" connection by finding out gender. Even though I didn't have a pronoun for my baby we had lots of great nicknames. I turned out to love team green because it was a really cool surprise. We got ALL the big ticket items off our registry and very few clothes. When our daughter was born we were showered with plenty of clothes. Also we plan on finding out the gender when we're ready for baby #2 so we get both experiences.<br /> As for other people being upset about being team green...I didn't get a lot of that. I got more "that's so cool, but I could NEVEr do that."<br /> I definitely got anxious towards the end so I could find out the gender, but I think it was well worth it </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pros-and-cons-of-finding-out-the-gender-of-baby#post-32586 Mon, 12 Dec 2011 18:30:49 +0000 HabesBabe 32586@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Team Blue/Pink--<br /> Pros: easier to plan, easier to shop for, etc. "Stronger" connection to the baby (calling him/her by name instead of just "baby" or something). Decorating the nursery. </p> <p>Cons: none, really. Not that I can think of-- unless the U/S tech and doctors tell you the wrong sex.</p> <p>Team Green:<br /> Pros: getting useful stuff from your registry (less "cute" clothes and more things you'll need), having one of the best/biggest surprises of your life, loving the baby no matter what the sex is (which would also be the case for Team Blue/Pink).</p> <p>Cons: People getting irritated that you aren't finding out (really! some people get really pissed for some reason), if you're really hoping for a girl/boy and you don't get the one you "want," it might be hard to feel as happy and enjoying that moment, not being able to wait and giving in, then feeling guilty or like a failure.</p> <p>These are the pros and cons in my mind-- hubs and I are debating on whether to find out or not. We're only 11 weeks and don't know if we can make it! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pros-and-cons-of-finding-out-the-gender-of-baby#post-32581 Mon, 12 Dec 2011 18:22:36 +0000 mandasoup 32581@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My husband and I have just had our 20 week ultrasound and chose not to find out if we are having a boy or girl...now I'm having regrets! Does anyone have advice on why they either chose to find out and how it was a benefit or why they chose not to find out and how they survived! </p>