Hellobee Boards Topic: Pros and cons

Hellobee Boards Topic: Pros and cons - smaller age gap https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 07 Apr 2026 15:42:40 +0000 kodybear on "Pros and cons - smaller age gap" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pros-and-cons-smaller-age-gap#post-2699666 Sat, 18 Feb 2017 18:04:40 +0000 kodybear 2699666@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Mine are 20 months apart. Pro - little to no transition period. She was so young when he was born. She doesnt remember what life was like before him! The phases are close together like the baby phase and potty training. We're done with daytime diapers after 4 years! We can get rid of stuff earlier like the baby swing. I love decluttering. Done with childcare costs earlier!! 2.5 more years! Both still nap so a couple hours of rest for us on the weekend Cons- Childcare cost $$$$ we spent $35k last year at a good but def not the best preschool. Not much me time. Someone always needs something and not super independent but it might be more a personality thing. skipra on "Pros and cons - smaller age gap" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pros-and-cons-smaller-age-gap#post-2699641 Sat, 18 Feb 2017 15:56:08 +0000 skipra 2699641@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I also commented on the larger age gap thread. My first and second have a 20 month age gap. Pros - they are best friends, are able to have a lot of the same friends, can play with a lot of the same things and do the same activities. Now that we have a third, I realize how much easier it was to have my older LO still young enough that he wasn't in school - neither of the kids were sick much as babies but my third is only 5 months and has been sick a lot already. This is a moot point if you need to do daycare though. The older sibling was young enough to not experience any crazy jealousy. Cons - the first year is HARD. My oldest was still a baby and really didn't understand what was going on. I couldn't turn my back for a second, quite literally (I did once to put something in the washer and when I turned around he was sitting on top of the baby). I think it might be tough when they are older with competition. They will only be a year apart in school too so paying for college will be super fun for us! One thing I'm not sure if it's a pro or a con is that my older son doesn't remember a time without his brother. I think it's amazing for their relationship but it makes me kind of sad for him that he didn't get enough baby time. Overall, I love the close age gap! My second and third are almost 2.5 years apart and I kind of wish it was smaller. mamabolt on "Pros and cons - smaller age gap" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pros-and-cons-smaller-age-gap#post-2699635 Sat, 18 Feb 2017 15:36:57 +0000 mamabolt 2699635@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pro that I'm now seeing the other side of - having them in similar school situations for many years. We are trying to balance Kindergarten with a 1 year old in daycare for the fall and it's so complicated and will stay that way for four years! oliviaoblivia on "Pros and cons - smaller age gap" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pros-and-cons-smaller-age-gap#post-2699629 Sat, 18 Feb 2017 15:17:29 +0000 oliviaoblivia 2699629@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Mine are 23 months between DD1 & DD2 and 12 months between DD2 & DD3. Pros We're in such a good baby groove. They don't remember the time before baby. All of our gear is current. They play together so well. Activities will overlap in a couple years. No going backwards in terms of baby proofing and diapers. I've changed multiple diapers everyday since January 2013. It's just what I do. My maternity clothes are still stylish. Cons It's not easy on the body. The logistics of getting so many little people out there door and around town is tough. Daycare for three is almost $6k a month so I'm not working. It takes me forever to do anything. brownepiano on "Pros and cons - smaller age gap" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pros-and-cons-smaller-age-gap#post-2699621 Sat, 18 Feb 2017 14:48:06 +0000 brownepiano 2699621@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Mine are 27 months apart. So, not a big age gap and not a small one either. Now at 3 and 8 months they are finally getting to the point where they can kind of play together and it is really nice. I think I really like this age gap because it doesn't feel really close or really far apart. Pro's: -DS1 was out of diapers almost completely (a few night diapers but not for long), in a big boy bed, and understanding directions/talking pretty well. I could leave him unsupervised for 10 minutes at a time while I dealt with his brother and he wouldn't burn the house down. It did take a while for him to adjust to his new found freedom. -DS1 can play with DS2 pretty well at this point -They both nap and have one overlapping nap every day -DS1 hasn't really started school or anything yet so I don't feel like I am keeping him behind by taking several months to adjust to a new brother Cons: -DS1 is still on the young side so he's only recently been able to play with his brother without hurting him. -DS1's talking was a little behind so we have had some massive tantrums from lack of communication. He's getting better now -This is probably just about having two kids in general, but DS1 never really got into things until we had DS2 and all the sudden he was left alone for more than a few minutes at a time. -DS1 was not very good at playing by himself so I had a really hard time with two kids demanding my attention all the time. Luckily DS2 has turned into a really easy baby and DS1 has learned that if he plays by himself in his room his brother can't get his toys! justjules on "Pros and cons - smaller age gap" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pros-and-cons-smaller-age-gap#post-2699567 Sat, 18 Feb 2017 09:36:22 +0000 justjules 2699567@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Mine will be 18 months apart so I'm curious as to what others will say! I've talked to lots of moms with kids close in age and it seems the general consensus is that it's harder for the first years (basically two babies, logistics etc) but it gets easier and easier because they are interested in similar things and you are dealing with similar life stages at the same time. erinbaderin on "Pros and cons - smaller age gap" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pros-and-cons-smaller-age-gap#post-2699556 Sat, 18 Feb 2017 08:43:32 +0000 erinbaderin 2699556@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Mine are 26 months apart, so not a super small age gap, but not giant. Pros: they love each other like crazy. I'm excited to watch them grow up together. They can share a lot of toys (this is also a con). We still had all the baby stuff. Cons: I haven't slept through the night in 3 years. Two in diapers, and in a few weeks two in daycare (and eventually two in university). Trying to do things like take them both to the grocery store is a hassle - getting two out of carseats, carrying them both in, etc. JCCovi on "Pros and cons - smaller age gap" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pros-and-cons-smaller-age-gap#post-2699548 Sat, 18 Feb 2017 07:54:56 +0000 JCCovi 2699548@https://boards.hellobee.com/ My daughter is 16 months older then my son. We were NTNP before we thought we could get pregnant, and surprise! We love it though, the kids are best friends and very much partners in crime. Pros *They entertain each other. *We never got out of the diaper days with my daughter, so it wasn't an adjustment to get back there for my son. (We are so close to done with both I can taste it!) *They can participate in the same activities. Not always, but often there are gym classes, etc. that overlaps both ages. *They will only be 1 grade apart in school, so I will juggle different schools for only a year at a time. *We had about 5 minutes of jealousy when we brought my son home, and then my daughter forgot life without him. Cons, *I think my daughter (3.5) hurts my son (2) fairly regularly. It's not that she's trying to be rough, but she's still pretty young herself. They love to roughhouse and that often ends in tears. *Traveling is more difficult with two. We flew this weekend and last weekend and both times were a little crazy. *Childcare costs for 2 at the same time is rough, but you'd have to really space your kids out to avoid this. I recently transitioned to SAHM, but I have them in a morning preschool 3 days a week. mrsbubbletea on "Pros and cons - smaller age gap" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pros-and-cons-smaller-age-gap#post-2699523 Sat, 18 Feb 2017 01:11:01 +0000 mrsbubbletea 2699523@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Ugh I was hoping for a surprise like you describe but it was not meant to be!@gingerbebe: newlypregnantlady on "Pros and cons - smaller age gap" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pros-and-cons-smaller-age-gap#post-2699517 Fri, 17 Feb 2017 23:46:14 +0000 newlypregnantlady 2699517@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Mine are going to be 22 months apart and when TTC I was really excited but as my due date gets nearer (I'm due early June), I'm starting to get really, really, nervous! I'll definitely be following this post for others' experiences. Mrs. Sunshine on "Pros and cons - smaller age gap" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pros-and-cons-smaller-age-gap#post-2699504 Fri, 17 Feb 2017 22:51:40 +0000 Mrs. Sunshine 2699504@https://boards.hellobee.com/ My girls are 19 months apart. We were trying but got pregnant sooner than I thought we would be able to. Pros: they will be 3.5 and 2 years old in April...and they are best friends. They make each other laugh, they hold hands, they play games. Seriously it's the best relationship ever. No matter what other behavior struggles we are having with DD1 I am almost always able to complement her on what a great big sister she is. It is seriously my favorite part. Also, just getting the raising little little kids done and over with seems like a pro to me right now. Cons: changing poop diapers with morning sickness sucks. Nursing and/or being pregnant for basically years on end is ridiculous. I often felt I was ripping DD1's babyhood away from her. Juggling two kids who may not STTN yet it also hard (and obviously exhausting). gingerbebe on "Pros and cons - smaller age gap" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pros-and-cons-smaller-age-gap#post-2699489 Fri, 17 Feb 2017 21:03:40 +0000 gingerbebe 2699489@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Just a spin off from the other thread about bigger age gaps. What are the pros and cons of kids spaced closer together? Mine are two boys 20 months apart. It definitely wasn't planned and I was pretty overwhelmed and terrified when I got my BFP but so far we are loving it. DS2 is 9 months and DS1 is 29 months currently. DS1 doesn't remember a time without his brother and he was just young enough when the baby was born that he didn't get jealousy issues. But he was old enough to understand that we had to be gentle with the baby. We were already in baby mode and had all the stuff so we didn't have to do much to prepare. Cons were it sucked with work - I wasn't at work long before I had to leave for my second leave. Financially it was also tight. And we have no family nearby. We have two in diapers. I had barely weaned and gotten my cycle back when I got pregnant again, so my body was/is still a wonky mess. Two in daycare is soon going to be a reality. It's just a messy crazy day to day and will be for a few years.