https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 12 May 2026 02:54:38 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/question-about-giving-away-items#post-2827308 Fri, 08 Jun 2018 13:03:59 +0000 Silva 2827308@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think its kind of tacky that she asked for them and didn't tell you her intentions, but I also agree that once we give something away we've lost ownership and don't really have a say anymore (unless there was some pre-arranged agreement, like "I want these back when you are done.")</p> <p>I'd let it go. I think I've sold some hand-me-downs before, but I'm not sure. I can't remember what i was given/bought myself. I've definitely never asked for something with that specific intention, though. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/question-about-giving-away-items#post-2827304 Fri, 08 Jun 2018 12:39:27 +0000 misolee 2827304@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I’m in the camp of you can do whatever you want with it once I give it to you. Sure, it’s annoying but unless you specifically asked for it back, there’s really nothing you can do. I mean you could call them out on it but it’s just an awkward conversation to have especially if it’s family member and especially if there is other problems going on. I’m also lazy so if the person I’m giving the stuff is willing to take time and energy to post, answer requests, meet the buyers up, etc then obviously the couple of bucks they make over the hassle is worth it to them. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/question-about-giving-away-items#post-2827302 Fri, 08 Jun 2018 12:29:37 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2827302@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would feel a bit miffed.</p> <p>Recently I gave my aunt two rugs that I had not planned to sell because they were rolled and stored and it would have been more of PITA to unroll, take a pic, and list on FB. To me the rugs were trashed once I realized I was getting new I didn’t care about eating and drinking over them. My aunt took the rugs, kind of sight unseen, and said she would use them in her garage to soak up car oil. She wanted me to be okay with the car oil use. Well, the next week she put them up for sale at her community garage sale. I know this because she called to inquire about the original price and dimensions to help her price them. I was annoyed for half a minute, but I didn’t have a better plan for the rugs and they were hers now. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/question-about-giving-away-items#post-2827298 Fri, 08 Jun 2018 11:55:30 +0000 Littlebit7 2827298@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MamaG: whaaaaaa. Oh then totally call it out. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/question-about-giving-away-items#post-2827294 Fri, 08 Jun 2018 11:48:39 +0000 jennlin821 2827294@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would certainly be annoyed, however I defer to Dear Abby/Dear Prudence/Ask Ann on this matter; they always say that once an item is given away the new owner has the right to do what they want with it. </p> <p>I would certainly be wary of giving anything else to them, and it is certainly tacky for that person to re-sell items that she specifically stated she going to save. However the main point is that the items were no longer yours, so you have no say in what happened to them. </p> <p>You did say that the family needed the items, so perhaps they were selling the items because they needed food on the table tonight, not clothes for next year. </p> <p>Its not a great situation and I completely get your aggravation. :bummed: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/question-about-giving-away-items#post-2827293 Fri, 08 Jun 2018 11:46:08 +0000 Truth Bombs 2827293@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MamaG: I would call that shizzle out and want an explanation. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/question-about-giving-away-items#post-2827292 Fri, 08 Jun 2018 11:42:28 +0000 MamaG 2827292@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ugh, it’s not even a friend. It’s an immediate family member. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/question-about-giving-away-items#post-2827291 Fri, 08 Jun 2018 11:38:27 +0000 Littlebit7 2827291@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Wow. Just. Wow</p> <p>How close of a friend is she? Are you confrontational? If so, I’d just say “hey I saw you posted some of the stuff that you asked for for (the person in friends family). If your family<br /> member wasn’t going to use them, I would have appreciated a heads up because I have other friends that actually needed the items”. </p> <p>I think the defining part of this scenario is that she asked you for the items and specifically referenced the person who “needed them”. That is outright lying and manipulation unless she is able to explain otherwise.<br /> I’d personally call her out on it, and depending on her answer, reevaluate the friendship. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/question-about-giving-away-items#post-2827289 Fri, 08 Jun 2018 11:33:43 +0000 looch 2827289@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>First I would be annoyed, but then I would ask myself if maybe something was going on that I didn't know about where they needed the money. Could that be it? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/question-about-giving-away-items#post-2827270 Fri, 08 Jun 2018 10:09:45 +0000 babypugs 2827270@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>That's low. I'm not usually confrontational but I'd ask for them back and the proceeds from any that had been sold. Then I'd donate all of that to a woman's shelter. I wouldn't even care about making nice in this situation. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/question-about-giving-away-items#post-2827269 Fri, 08 Jun 2018 10:06:05 +0000 josina 2827269@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>First, I would love someone to fill up a car full of clothes for me, so that's very kind of you!<br /> 2nd, I would be pissed if I donated clothes to someone and then saw them for sale a few days later. She definitely should've asked first before selling them, or she should be giving you some of the money from the sale. </p> <p>Maybe casually ask, "hey, I saw you were selling my clothes on facebook, how did it go?" and see what she says. At best she offers you some compensation, at the least, she has to explain her actions. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/question-about-giving-away-items#post-2827268 Fri, 08 Jun 2018 10:02:03 +0000 youboots 2827268@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I will say I get tons of hand me downs including my sister who has 2 boys and is done with kids. I kept a lot of the NB-3T stuff that did not work for my daughter and now have asked her to stop sending anything but gender neutral. Also I had a friend who gave me 4 diaper boxes of clothes- I hung onto about 1/4 and returned the rest. Plus a bunch of random items from other friends/family. I can not keep track of who gave me what months or years later.</p> <p>When i’m done using items or don’t need them (including what I have purchased and gifts) I will drop off bags at consignment store down the block- they donate what they can’t use, sell what they can then give me a year end itemization for taxes of the items that did not sell. It’s so convenient. I don’t feel bad about it at all. I still save 1/2 or so of DDs clothes. I use the credit to buy big items like a cozy coupe, grocery cart, anywhere chair etc.</p> <p>In this care I think it is dishonest. But- I imagine she knows you are in these groups. I’d assume she did not do it with ill intent and that she is trying to pay some bills. But I would not give to this person again. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/question-about-giving-away-items#post-2827263 Fri, 08 Jun 2018 09:52:38 +0000 DesertDreams88 2827263@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have been the recipient of boxes of hand-me-downs from 3 people and though I have been tempted to sell the items I didn't want/care for, I never do because it's just not right to make money off of someone else's stuff. </p> <p>In 2 years after my kids are done using it, it's fair game then, right? Its mostly been clothes though and I would just give those away to a FTM, to pass on the love. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/question-about-giving-away-items#post-2827261 Fri, 08 Jun 2018 09:45:30 +0000 MrsBucky 2827261@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Twolittlemen: FWIW I feel differently about that! If you didn’t ask, she just offered and she expressed no desire or need for anything back, selling it doesn’t bother me! It’s something about ASKING and then selling that seems crappy/ rude/ misleading to me. @ElbieKay: I totally get that! I don’t have the patience to track who gave me what to return so likely wouldn’t accept hand me downs from folks that wanted things back, unless it was someone (like my close friend or sister) where the expectation was we were passing back and forth between our families if that makes sense. But I think it’s helpful for everyone to make their expectations clear at the start. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/question-about-giving-away-items#post-2827256 Fri, 08 Jun 2018 09:39:24 +0000 Twolittlemen 2827256@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I’ve done this. Well I didn’t ask. My SIL, in another state, who is done having kids, has sent me everything from her last child. He is one year older than my oldest. I’ve gone through and sold stuff that isn’t my style. We are talking about sweater vests, infant shoes, stuff like that. Nothing that I am getting more than a few dollars for and definitely not the majority of the items. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/question-about-giving-away-items#post-2827246 Fri, 08 Jun 2018 09:08:22 +0000 kiddosc 2827246@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think @FaithFertility: put it really well. That's super tacky to ask for things and then sell them. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/question-about-giving-away-items#post-2827245 Fri, 08 Jun 2018 09:06:38 +0000 Mama Bird 2827245@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If it's "most" of the items you're seeing pop up, I'd be annoyed. Probably wouldn't say anything as it's water under the bridge, though.</p> <p>If it's only a few things, who knows, maybe they just didn't like them or had the same thing at home, and figured they can get rid of them however they see fit since there was no discussion of returning them. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/question-about-giving-away-items#post-2827244 Fri, 08 Jun 2018 09:05:00 +0000 Hypatia 2827244@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would contact the mods of those groups to let them know she'd asked for donations and was now selling those items. It's unethical. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/question-about-giving-away-items#post-2827239 Fri, 08 Jun 2018 08:44:42 +0000 snowjewelz 2827239@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Wow, tacky :meh: </p> <p>I don't know how confrontational you are; if it was me I wouldn't say anything and just would not give them stuff in the future.</p> <p>If I give away stuff to not so close friends, I would never expect them back. My friend and I just had an understanding because her DD was right in between my two DDs so we were just swapping stuff back and forth. I give her stuff from DD1, she gives them back in time for my DD2. And now after my DD2, they're all going to my SIL with her 3rd DD and since she's family I know I can get the stuff back for me or someone else if ever needed. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/question-about-giving-away-items#post-2827238 Fri, 08 Jun 2018 08:40:13 +0000 ElbieKay 2827238@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I only accept baby clothes and gear if I don't have to give them back because I don't have time or inclination to keep track of who gave me what.</p> <p>I also give away stuff on those terms too.</p> <p>But I would not do what your friend did so blatantly. That seems tacky.</p> <p>I have a friend with identical twin girls who are 11 months ahead of mine. She has given me a TON of stuff. I barely need any baby clothes now. I told her that if I sell (as opposed to give away) my baby clothes, I will split the proceeds with her since literally half my baby wardrobe is from her. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/question-about-giving-away-items#post-2827235 Fri, 08 Jun 2018 08:15:54 +0000 MaryM 2827235@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>1. That's really crappy that she ASKED for your stuff in the first place. I'm hating having to buy clothes when I know my SIL has a stash of clothes in every size and is hoping to be done with having kids and I'd love hand me downs...but I'd never outright say "Hey, can I have your stuff??"</p> <p>2. And even for the stuff we have gotten, if we couldn't use it (we got three tummy time mats), I reached out to the parents that gave me the stuff and said hey, I'm offering these things to a friend and these to a maternity home, is that ok? </p> <p>If was to sell anything, I'd definitely offer to give money to the person who gave it to me in the first place! </p> <p>But again...I didn't ask for any of the stuff I got! People genuinely were looking for a good way to get rid of things. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/question-about-giving-away-items#post-2827234 Fri, 08 Jun 2018 08:14:21 +0000 PurplePumps 2827234@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>double. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/question-about-giving-away-items#post-2827233 Fri, 08 Jun 2018 08:12:49 +0000 PurplePumps 2827233@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would totally be peeved and call them out on it (nicely like Faithfertility said - "I saw you posted some items I gave you for sale? if you didn't need it, I would have loved to have them back to give to other friends")! I don't *donate* and give away my stuff for other (not in "need") to make money off of. If they didn't need it, I would have more ok with them donating it than trying to make a buck of it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/question-about-giving-away-items#post-2827231 Fri, 08 Jun 2018 08:11:41 +0000 erinbaderin 2827231@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would be annoyed, and wouldn’t give that person anything in the future. Although I honestly would have also been a little put off by being asked for my things - puts you in a bit of an awkward position if you wanted to sell or hold onto them. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/question-about-giving-away-items#post-2827228 Fri, 08 Jun 2018 08:05:41 +0000 Ajsmommy 2827228@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would be put off by that for sure. Not sure I'd bring it up or address it though bc ... well really... what would you get out of the confrontation other than them knowing you know....??</p> <p>I have a co worker who is pregnant and I have passed on some things to her and I got put off bc I saw another co worker also passing her stuff.... some of the same stuff I had already given her . So I'm not sure if she's doubling up or maybe she's selling one of the items somewhere. I just decided to stop passing things to her and never mentioned it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/question-about-giving-away-items#post-2827226 Fri, 08 Jun 2018 07:56:19 +0000 Foodnerd81 2827226@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>That would totally rub me the wrong way. I’ve had cases where someone gives a big bag full of stuff and says “take whatever you want and donate or get rid of the rest”. In that case I guess selling it like that wouldn’t be so terrible. But this is just very strange. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/question-about-giving-away-items#post-2827225 Fri, 08 Jun 2018 07:55:58 +0000 FaithFertility 2827225@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MamaG: Annoyed...for sure! I'm not sure how far you want to go into it, but could you reach out and say just that?! "Hey I saw you posted a gew items for sale, if you didn't plan to use them, I would love to have them back for another friend or tax write off? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/question-about-giving-away-items#post-2827223 Fri, 08 Jun 2018 07:51:12 +0000 MrsBucky 2827223@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would be annoyed, I’m not sure if I would say something or not. I’ve been the recipient of a ton of hand me downs and also passed them along. I always ask if they want them back, or what they’d like me to do with anything I can’t (or won’t) use. My friend who send me her boys’ old stuff always says she would have donated it anyway and to feel free to do the same- she just wants it out! My gf I pass down to knows I’d like anything in decent shape back for future kids. Whether I said anything would depend on how close I was to the person, but I definitely wouldn’t be giving them any more hand me downs. I would feel differently if you offered, but they fact that they asked and then sold galls me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/question-about-giving-away-items#post-2827222 Fri, 08 Jun 2018 07:46:27 +0000 MamaG 2827222@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Let’s say someone inquired about your outgrown toddler toys and clothing for sure someone in their family that could use them. And let’s say you generously load said persons car full of items knowing some are too big and they say it’s okay they will store them for the future. And then 3 days later you see some of the items listed on BST and Marketplace posts on Facebook? How would you feel about it?</p> <p>I will add that I didn’t have any intent to sell items but would have donated them for a tax deduction. </p>