https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 30 Apr 2026 23:31:10 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/question-about-live-in-nannies#post-527766 Fri, 25 Jan 2013 14:12:19 +0000 SAHM0811 527766@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had a live-in nanny, but the difference is my baby was around 17 months when she started. DD napped once in the afternoon for a big chunk of time, so she was able to cook/prep then. She also looved to cook and she wanted to, so she just made it happen... she had to eat too, haha. also, she was a live-in nanny all her life, so honestly, i just went with the flow in regards to what her tasks were. </p> <p>Basically, she started at around 9:30 when DH would go to work and I came home around 4:30 or 5. She would quickly get dinner ready while I played with DD and some days she ate with us, some days she retreated to her room to watch her favorite K drama, or some days I came home late because of work etc... Some days we'd cook together too (i.e. she'd cook, i'd do what she said, haha). </p> <p>Also, we were clear that from the beginning, DH and I wanted the flexibility to be able to come home a little later than usual once a week or to go out for a few hours on the weekends sans baby. That didn't happen every week, but it was nice that we had been clear about it from the start, so when we were able to go on date night or had to stay late at work, it was ok.</p> <p>if anything though, i was the one who was encouraging her to rest more and not do so much once i came home from work... she would cook, I'd try to help... We would eat and as for evening dishes, I would do it when I could. If I didn't get to it, she would kindly do it for me. She was just awesome... I was sensitive not to get too spoiled by her though...</p> <p>I think with a live-in, you do have to state your expectations right from the start, as with any caregiver, but you do have to be flexible here and there a bit more since they live with you... Talk about it at the interview. For us, I had the pleasure of getting to know the old family she worked with, so I just asked how they did things. For example, I wondered if she went to the grocery on her own, or went with the family, etc... </p> <p>Good luck finding someone! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/question-about-live-in-nannies#post-527638 Fri, 25 Jan 2013 13:16:03 +0000 Cole 527638@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was a live-in for 4.5 years and really liked it for the most part. Mrs. Pen hit the nail on the head though that you need to really spell things out. When I first started I wound up really burnt out because the family never spelled out some things that they assumed I would do that makes life easier- I was working 60+ hours a week and I figured that if they are paying me for those hours I should devote all of that time to my work. Once we had a chat about the fact that it was expected that I would throw in my own laundry or stop at Starbucks our grab shampoo if we were already at the drug store my life got much easier! </p> <p>One family I worked for had me do a split shift ( 7-9 then 2:30-9)I know it is not uncommon for people to do that. </p> <p>I did have a TV in my room, I brought my own laptop and used their cable/internet. I usually just hung out in my own space after the day was over but sometimes I would hang out with the family. Dinner was occasionally awkward and even after 4.5 years of dealing with it I never found a system that I loved, I usually ate with the kids or went out because I felt like I was intruding on family time.</p> <p>Weekends I went home sometimes but usually I stayed, but I definitely kept to myself. As far as boundaries, set them as strict as you think you might want knowing it is easier to loosen them. Most people set the master suite and office "off limits" but it almost always becomes "hey could you grab x? "</p> <p>Make sure you mentally give yourself about 6 weeks to get used to the nanny and vice versa, it takes some time. Tell her up front that at the 6 or 8 week point you want to have a sit down meeting so everyone can make sure things are going the way they should. That will give you a low stress way to address any concerns you have.</p> <p>I really had so much fun as a live in, I got to know the families so well and it was a great experience. Feel free to ask any other questions! I am more than happy to answer them! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/question-about-live-in-nannies#post-527616 Fri, 25 Jan 2013 13:08:57 +0000 Mrs. Pen 527616@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Andrea: I had a huge bedroom- they have me a king sized bed! And lots of space so sometimes I hung out in my room. I did have a tv but it was small and far from my bed so it was a pain to watch. Sometimes I just hung out in the den to watch tv and sometimes I did hang out with the parents- especially the mom. We were like best friends :) we talked about everything, cooked together, watched tv together etc. she was like a big sister! Haha<br /> But I also immersed myself in New York while I was there! I joined a weekly volleyball game and made a ton of friends. Within two months of living there I had a boyfriend (who became my husband!!!). So DH-then-boyfriend would come hang out at "my house", or we'd go out, or hang with friends. I made one really good friend who is now one of my best friends and we hung out a lot too! </p> <p>I also started taking some college classes online so I had that to keep me busy too. I was 19 and living life- I never sat still- always moving, like I said- best year of my life! </p> <p>Minnesota was home so I only went home once that year. Plus I usually have to work Saturday too, so I could never just take off for the weekend, I would have loved some weekends trips with the then-boyfriend but I usually had to work. My days off were Sunday and Monday. </p> <p>Oh speaking of boyfriends- that's an awkward but important discussion to have with the nanny too! Will you be comfortable with her dating if she meets someone- how do you feel about her having a boy in your house, her room, when you have two daughters? You have to be honest because it IS your house, your family. I was lucky my nanny family LOVED DH and he loved their kids- so he would sometimes come over while I was working to just hang out and they were okay with it. But they were open about boundaries and what they were comfortable with and I appreciated that. </p> <p>Sorry it's so much to think about! But I really want you to have the best positive experience you can!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/question-about-live-in-nannies#post-527566 Fri, 25 Jan 2013 12:44:16 +0000 Anagram 527566@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>After reading Mrs. Pen's post, I know I could never, ever be a live-in nanny. No way could I work 12 hours a day, 50 weeks a year (plus, sometimes Saturday nights), plus some cleaning and breakfast-making and dinner making and still only make $2000 at the end of the month. I mean, the live-in part is good, if you don't want to pay rent, but I'd much rather be a live-out nanny with set hours and my own space to go back to---not to mention weekend purely for myself.</p> <p>It's different when it's your own kids--because if you're having an off day and want to just order in food, or not clean that day--you can! But when you're working for someone else....yikes.</p> <p>Kudos to all the live-in nannies out there!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/question-about-live-in-nannies#post-527557 Fri, 25 Jan 2013 12:40:56 +0000 Reese 527557@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Pen: Great post! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/question-about-live-in-nannies#post-527550 Fri, 25 Jan 2013 12:38:06 +0000 Freckles 527550@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree specifics need to be made. When my friend was looking for a nanny, she specified that she was looking for a "mother's helper"- someone who is an extension of herself. Her nanny prepares breakfast and dinner (she usually specifies what she would like for the meals), looks after the baby during the day, and helps the kids with their homework. She also cleans their house. There are no set hours. She also has the weekends off, unless they need her for something. She is very happy as she has her own room and bathroom, internet access and tv. She was nannying in HK, where she was taken advantage of...hours were horrible! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/question-about-live-in-nannies#post-527364 Fri, 25 Jan 2013 11:26:09 +0000 Andrea 527364@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Pen: thank you so much for the detailed response! Your experiences would certainly make a great blog post. It all seems so complicated to me! Setting expectations, boundaries, being fair. Ugh, it is all making my head spin! So once you were done for the day at 7:30 pm, did you retreat to your own room or did you have downtime with the family? Did you have a TV in your room? Did you go home on the weekends? I have about a bajillion questions! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/question-about-live-in-nannies#post-527342 Fri, 25 Jan 2013 11:19:43 +0000 Bao 527342@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Pen: That's great! I guess I had a lot of bad luck with families as a live out nanny...I was taken advantage of like it was no ones business. In the end I ended up HATING something I once had such a passion for, because of the situations I was put in. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/question-about-live-in-nannies#post-527332 Fri, 25 Jan 2013 11:18:05 +0000 Mrs. Pen 527332@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Bao: I actually REALLY loved it!!! even though it was hard and challenging and in the end not ideal - that year was the best year of my life, hands down. I actually wish I had stayed in NY and worked for another family as a live in. It was a GREAT way to make money with minimal expenses, so I was able to save to complete another year of college. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/question-about-live-in-nannies#post-527329 Fri, 25 Jan 2013 11:16:28 +0000 Bao 527329@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Pen: Wow great info for those looking for a live in nanny! I was a nanny, but could never be a live-in nanny. Props to you! :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/question-about-live-in-nannies#post-527326 Fri, 25 Jan 2013 11:15:59 +0000 Mrs. Pen 527326@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Bee: It's in my blogger inspiration book - writing about the nanny experience "from the other side" haha :) I have so many I need to sit down one day and just write write write lol! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/question-about-live-in-nannies#post-527312 Fri, 25 Jan 2013 11:13:05 +0000 Mrs. Bee 527312@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Pen: you should turn that into a blog post! If we had another kid (no we're not) I might want a live-in. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/question-about-live-in-nannies#post-527239 Fri, 25 Jan 2013 10:53:35 +0000 Mrs. Pen 527239@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Alright I'm back. </p> <p>When you hire/interview the nanny you should come up with a list/contract of expectations and needs. This is vitally important because I was a live in nanny who was very taken advantage of because we didn't get these things in writing. When I tried contesting the 80 hour work weeks, because I'd been told 50 hours, they turned it on me and said firstly they never said 50 hours and secondly that I must be unhappy if I was counting hours. (sighs).</p> <p>Being in agreement about the detailed specifics of the job is very important for happiness of both parties.</p> <p>So if you want her working all day M-F, that would be more than $100/day, especially where you live... however this also depends on what perks you are planning to offer her and her experience.</p> <p>My perks were:<br /> room &amp; board - a private room with a lock and supposedly my own bathroom (but the 1st grade boy used it a lot)<br /> food<br /> use of car during my time off, they paid for gas<br /> health insurance<br /> paid sick days<br /> paid holidays<br /> 2 weeks paid vacation<br /> a housekeeper who would deep clean my room/bathroom every other week</p> <p>All that considered I made a decent amount of money. But given your location I would suggest at least $10/hour, even with the perks above. You might be able to get away with a little less if you provide cell phone and gym membership too.</p> <p>It's also important to decide if you are going to do hourly/salary. I was salaried and that's how I was taken advantage of - they never counted my hours. But salary could also be nice as long as you have all this in writing and stick to the agreement. </p> <p>As a live in nanny my duties included:<br /> Getting up with the kids between 7-8 am<br /> providing breakfast, getting dressed and bringing the older two to school<br /> facilitating naps for the younger two<br /> cleaning up after breakfast and general upkeep of messes the kids made/I made<br /> picking up kids<br /> making lunches<br /> transportation to/from other activities<br /> going on walks with the kids<br /> facilitating art, crafts, play, etc<br /> preparing easy dinners for the kids, clean up<br /> light house work<br /> simple errands for the family<br /> putting the kids to bed<br /> family laundry</p> <p>I essentially worked 7:30am-7:30pm. They also wanted me to work every Sat. night so they could have a date night.<br /> If that's the kind of schedule and duties you think you might need I would offer no less than $550/week as long as you offer some type of perk... for instance I was given a credit card from the mom to buy my own groceries - it was great being able to eat what I wanted and buy my own good. That was a HUGE perk!</p> <p>also with live ins: you should have a set time they start. Please please don't say, "whenever baby wakes up" because you obviously couldn't say that to a live out nanny. Same rules apply - be courteous of boundaries and space! Once the dad brought in their 2 month old, into my room at 5am and said he'd been up all night and needed a break... but that was NEVER part of my agreement - to get up that early with a newborn! It made me upset. So whether the baby is up at 5am or 9am, set a fair time, like 7am.</p> <p>As far as napping while the kids nap - she could... but if you have other duties you want (like making dinner) I doubt she'd be able to. </p> <p>Soooo in reference to your original questions: Yes a nanny can/will work all day if you pay them well/offer good perks, most are willing to cook dinner but sometimes only for the kids - not the family (I never cooked for the family!). </p> <p>I am sure you would be a very fair employer - but I think it's easy for families to think their nanny can do everything and your children should be her whole life... which isn't true. So just keep that into consideration. Also - as a nanny - it was great to have monthly "updates" where they talked about my performance and if there was anything they would like to see change and I talked about the kids and any issues/struggles they may have. We kinda did the parenting thing together and agreed on solutions/disciplines as a team which was really great and I loved that.</p> <p>Good luck!! and sorry I wrote a novella! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/question-about-live-in-nannies#post-527207 Fri, 25 Jan 2013 10:39:24 +0000 Andrea 527207@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Pen: awesome, thanks!</p> <p>@sloaneandpuffy: right, I definitely don't expect a slave, but if I have a hard time cooking dinner when taking care of a baby, I am just wondering how a live-in would do it during the day? so that's just what I am wondering since I have heard that live-ins can cook for you. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/question-about-live-in-nannies#post-527177 Fri, 25 Jan 2013 10:24:55 +0000 mamimami 527177@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think if you agree on a distribution of hours it should be ok. A lot of people seem to think live in nannies are slaves but I'd be sure to set a number of working hours that is fair to everyone. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/question-about-live-in-nannies#post-527145 Fri, 25 Jan 2013 10:18:07 +0000 Mrs. Pen 527145@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I will post a Long response to this shortly- I was a live in nanny! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/question-about-live-in-nannies#post-527125 Fri, 25 Jan 2013 10:12:25 +0000 immabeetoo 527125@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've had no luck napping with the baby naps but I'd guess it'd completely depend on the nanny and her/his preferences and the compensation package. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/question-about-live-in-nannies#post-527113 Fri, 25 Jan 2013 10:07:03 +0000 Andrea 527113@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We are considering hiring a live-in nanny. The going rate is $100/day. I haven't interviewed anyone yet and I don't know a lot about how they work. My main question is if they will work the whole day since they live-in? I ask this because I would like them to cook dinner and if they can't get this done during the day then will they be willing to cook after the kids are in bed, around 7 pm? Or is this too much to ask because the day is so long? I figure that if they live-in, they can nap while the baby naps? </p>