https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 12 Apr 2026 22:16:01 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/questions-to-ask-after-2-losseshow-to-get-earlier-testing-if-i-get-pregnant-again/page/2#post-2358978 Mon, 16 Nov 2015 21:19:30 +0000 LCTBQE 2358978@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Keybee: yes, regarding "paranoid and annoying": :happy: at my last appointment I asked my OB if this happened because I didn't floss enough, or because I picked up my 75-lb dog a lot, before telling her that I'd live in their office if I could. I don't want to be their crazy-lady patient, but your approach sounds like the only way to get through the fear. So, so glad to hear it finally worked out for you. </p> <p>@MrsDragon: yes, I felt so much more re-set physically after my first cycle *last* time--my hormones were going insane the entire month after the D&amp;C. this time, though, I honestly am just fine already, which I think is probably because my hcg levels and progesterone never actually got that high. I'm glad you're feeling better and so happy you're able to try again. xx</p> <p>PS: does anyone know what happened to @simplyfelicity? I went to go answer a message she wrote on my wall yesterday, and her account is shut down--she was so active, I'm surprised to see her gone. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/questions-to-ask-after-2-losseshow-to-get-earlier-testing-if-i-get-pregnant-again/page/2#post-2357111 Sun, 15 Nov 2015 14:10:11 +0000 mrsmacandcheese 2357111@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LCTBQE: A lot of people told me that once I had my first cycle after the loss, I would start feeling better, and though I'm not there yet (and I want to be! so crampy, want to get a move on, and I already POAS and it was negative so come on, period) it seems to be helping. I don't know how much of my own struggle has been hormonal, but I definitely feel a lot more level now. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/questions-to-ask-after-2-losseshow-to-get-earlier-testing-if-i-get-pregnant-again/page/2#post-2356795 Sun, 15 Nov 2015 01:23:22 +0000 Keybee 2356795@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm sorry for your losses! I also had two in a row, I saw a couple of physicians, all said they weren't concerned until 3. When I finally got pregnant a third time I called my midwife that day and asked if I could come in for a quick test to confirm and to ask questions. They were very obliging and got me in that afternoon. I went back a couple of weeks later, earlier then they recommended just because I wanted to, and they let me have an early ultrasound at 6 weeks to see the heart beat. I was paranoid and annoying patient for a few months, but the midwife was very sympathetic and gave into my pleas. She even said I could call and go in for a doppler if I ever wanted to, which some days I did, because I had flashbacks of miscarriages and would get scared.<br /> Getting pregnant after a miscarriage or two is exciting and terrifying, I really bennifitted from a midwife who understood my fears and let me take unnessary tests and screenings so I could be reassured. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/questions-to-ask-after-2-losseshow-to-get-earlier-testing-if-i-get-pregnant-again/page/2#post-2356763 Sat, 14 Nov 2015 23:51:05 +0000 LCTBQE 2356763@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@simplyfelicity: thank you for saying that. I really want to be optimistic and excited in the future, but I don't know how to procure positivity. maybe time will fix it. right now, I can't imagine having a normal experience, but I hope to get there.<br /> PS: I have come across so many threads you started or commented on that have helped me in the past few months when I've searched for all kinds of things. you have a wonderful attitude and your contributions are so helpful--thanks for that, too :happy: </p> <p>@Nutella: :wink: :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/questions-to-ask-after-2-losseshow-to-get-earlier-testing-if-i-get-pregnant-again/page/2#post-2356748 Sat, 14 Nov 2015 22:52:17 +0000 LovelyPlum 2356748@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsDragon: good! I'm so glad to hear that!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/questions-to-ask-after-2-losseshow-to-get-earlier-testing-if-i-get-pregnant-again#post-2356419 Sat, 14 Nov 2015 14:03:26 +0000 mrsmacandcheese 2356419@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm actually starting to feel more confident/excited about trying again. I don't want to get too into it -- I feel like I need to keep myself guarded -- but this appointment let me believe that maybe it COULD actually just be a fluke. Still terrified, but very much wanting to move forward. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/questions-to-ask-after-2-losseshow-to-get-earlier-testing-if-i-get-pregnant-again#post-2356349 Sat, 14 Nov 2015 10:00:05 +0000 T.H.O.U. 2356349@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes! It does seem many do have two losses and then are successful. Myself included! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/questions-to-ask-after-2-losseshow-to-get-earlier-testing-if-i-get-pregnant-again#post-2356347 Sat, 14 Nov 2015 09:58:59 +0000 simplyfelicity 2356347@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsDragon: Glad to hear you had a good appointment!</p> <p>@LCTBQE: Just wanted to say that a lot of bees on here (myself included) had two miscarriages followed by a healthy pregnancy. I don't know if it's just odds or what but it seems very true. Hoping you get answers soon. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/questions-to-ask-after-2-losseshow-to-get-earlier-testing-if-i-get-pregnant-again#post-2356271 Sat, 14 Nov 2015 05:04:29 +0000 Nutella 2356271@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsDragon: that's a great outcome re the doctors! At least that's one less thing to worry about for next time.</p> <p>@LCTBQE: hugs! X </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/questions-to-ask-after-2-losseshow-to-get-earlier-testing-if-i-get-pregnant-again#post-2356108 Fri, 13 Nov 2015 19:46:17 +0000 Ash 2356108@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsDragon: so glad you had a good appointment! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/questions-to-ask-after-2-losseshow-to-get-earlier-testing-if-i-get-pregnant-again#post-2356098 Fri, 13 Nov 2015 19:18:46 +0000 mrsmacandcheese 2356098@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LCTBQE: I saw your post today -- I'm hoping things get better for you ASAP! ❤️ </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/questions-to-ask-after-2-losseshow-to-get-earlier-testing-if-i-get-pregnant-again#post-2356090 Fri, 13 Nov 2015 19:08:01 +0000 LCTBQE 2356090@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsDragon: I am so, so happy to hear you've found someone responsive and decent. She sounds really encouraging, and yes, just the fact that she's available is so huge. Glad you got the blessing to start trying (guilt-free) again :grin: I will cross my fingers for you, lady! </p> <p>Over here, I am indeed having another m/c--they are concerned it might be ectopic, and I'm praying to the miscarriage gods to just have a normal one. fingers crossed it works itself out in the next few days. </p> <p>My OB insists this one isn't the same cause of the other one, and I just "had the bad luck to have bad luck twice in a row". so here's hoping for both of us to be done with this shit completely.<br /> onward and upward :heart: :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/questions-to-ask-after-2-losseshow-to-get-earlier-testing-if-i-get-pregnant-again#post-2356020 Fri, 13 Nov 2015 17:34:57 +0000 mrsmacandcheese 2356020@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Just as an update -- I had the appointment today. At first I thought it was going down the 'there's nothing we can really do' path because she reiterated a lot of what I had already been told, that with two early losses and a previous successful pregnancy it was likely just bad luck, that there were no known major issues with me medically that could be causing problems, and that there was nothing to really be done in terms of being proactive because of that.</p> <p>But, she decided to order me a full blood workup, including thyroid levels (no hormonal testing, though), and I'm supposed to go back for a pap, at which point I'm far enough out from the M/C that she will likely order an ultrasound just to ensure everything is cleared out and in good shape. That's all to reassure me that I am in good health, and to pick out any obvious issues without having to go through waiting for a specialist if I don't necessarily need one. In the event that we do have three losses she will refer both me and my husband to a specialist. </p> <p>I also found out that she does prenatal care which was worth going to the appointment, just to learn that -- she works in conjunction with the doctor who I had been trying to see, who is super busy and impossible to get an appointment with. So if I do get pregnant in the meantime, I can just continue on with her to 36 weeks and then be transferred over to him for delivery. She is soooooo much easier to get appointments with, and all of hers are 30 minutes long so there's time to actually connect and deal with any issues. I would feel so reassured doing things that way.</p> <p>So, now I'm just waiting for my period to come. She said it's fine to try again whenever we want and that she actually encourages it for people who feel up to it, for mental health purposes, but did suggest waiting for my period to return just for dating. We went the NTNP this month and I haven't had a period yet but have been crampy for two days now so crossing my fingers it'll be here soon so we can get on with things.</p> <p>In an ideal world I would love it if I could magically get pregnant before my next appointment with her so I could try to get some early testing, but I know better than to pin my hopes that high. Overall, though, it was good. I feel much more confident now. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/questions-to-ask-after-2-losseshow-to-get-earlier-testing-if-i-get-pregnant-again#post-2347757 Sat, 07 Nov 2015 20:50:56 +0000 Nutella 2347757@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsDragon: totally understand &amp; agree, I know what you mean about dealing with things either way! Good luck and I hope you get a good plan out of next week's appointment! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/questions-to-ask-after-2-losseshow-to-get-earlier-testing-if-i-get-pregnant-again#post-2347738 Sat, 07 Nov 2015 20:11:46 +0000 mrsmacandcheese 2347738@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LCTBQE: She was a resident who was just going off of what her overseeing doctor said, as far as I could tell -- she said that doc recommended "a break" and when I asked how long she said 3-6 months was a good range but that every doctor would give a different answer. So nothing hard and fast, but I guess most doctors would probably not give the thumbs up to me having unprotected sex this month. I figure if my body is ready it's ready, if it isn't, it isn't, and we were only 6 weeks in -- when I had the loss at 5 weeks that doctor said to go for it again whenever we wanted. I guess last time it was mostly couched in a "go home and take care of yourself" kind of way -- eat well, exercise, sleep, avoid stress, and take a break.</p> <p>@Nutella: I hear you. I'm the kind of person who needs to keep going, though. I know a new baby/new pregnancy won't fix anything -- been there, done that -- but it would certainly give me a light at the end of the tunnel either way. I feel like I'm gonna be dealing with things no matter what, and I don't want to sit and wait. Especially if we have to get through to a year of TTC, and then whatever the waitlist is to be referred to someone who specializes in fertility.</p> <p>I'm looking forward to seeing the nurse practitioner next week, because I'm hoping it'll give me a more solid plan for going forward instead of me feeling like I'm being risky, I guess. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/questions-to-ask-after-2-losseshow-to-get-earlier-testing-if-i-get-pregnant-again#post-2347715 Sat, 07 Nov 2015 19:52:32 +0000 Nutella 2347715@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsDragon: so sorry you are going through this. Two MCs will take a toll on your emotions too, even if you are feeling the need to push on, be gentle with yourself. I don't have much advice being in Australia where care model is quite different. But I hope that you are able to find a doctor who will listen to your questions and give you that reassurance. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/questions-to-ask-after-2-losseshow-to-get-earlier-testing-if-i-get-pregnant-again#post-2347649 Sat, 07 Nov 2015 17:07:40 +0000 travellingbee 2347649@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LCTBQE: for me, after back to back losses, I think the RE wanted my hormones to level out and lining to go back to normal but I think she just wanted me to skip a cycle. We skipped two because I needed to get into a better emotional state. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/questions-to-ask-after-2-losseshow-to-get-earlier-testing-if-i-get-pregnant-again#post-2347647 Sat, 07 Nov 2015 17:04:46 +0000 LCTBQE 2347647@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsDragon: yes, I know what you mean about the dice roll. I vacillate between what you thought--"I already had my bad-luck turn, so now I'll get a good one"-- and the more pessimistic "I have the same odds this time as I did before, and I remember how *that* turned out". I hate, hate, hate that you are already thinking that you might need to get a third mc out of the way rather than putting it off if it's inevitable so you can move on to testing. It made me heartsick to read that. I'm so sorry this is happening to you, and that you don't have better care access. And the milestone dates are tough. I keep finding all these notes I excitedly made in my planner (16 weeks!--that kind of thing). </p> <p>I wonder how serious the ER doctor was about the comment to take a break, and what the opinion was founded in. Did he give you a medical reason? It would be awful for you to feel guilty about trying again, or like it's your fault, if there was really no problem with it and it was just an off-handed remark. I've heard from others whose doctors said to wait 3 months for emotional reasons, as if all of us have the same emotional needs and reactions Anyway, I would love for you to keep me posted on how you're doing. xx </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/questions-to-ask-after-2-losseshow-to-get-earlier-testing-if-i-get-pregnant-again#post-2347593 Sat, 07 Nov 2015 14:34:06 +0000 mrsmacandcheese 2347593@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@travellingbee: I'm so glad that things eventually went right for you! It definitely feels pretty awful in the thick of things. I'm trying to have hope that it will turn out in the end. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/questions-to-ask-after-2-losseshow-to-get-earlier-testing-if-i-get-pregnant-again#post-2347490 Sat, 07 Nov 2015 08:36:02 +0000 travellingbee 2347490@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsDragon: just wanted to say I'm sorry, we were in the same position last winter. I have a two year old and we started trying for a second last year. I was 37 so after 5.5 months when nothing happened they did some blood work and found my AMH was low and sent me to an RE. I had my first miscarriage in November and then got pregnant right away and lost that one too. My RE did repeat loss blood work and told me to wait a little and so we took 2 months off. I spent some time just focusing on getting healthy. All our blood work came back negative and I'd already had an HSG and other basic infertility testing. They concluded I had poor egg quality and we started clomid, trigger shot and IUIs. First one didn't work and we started to plan for IVF. The second time we ended up doing no IUI ( just regular old BD :wink: ) but still the clomid and trigger and that one finally took. I'm 32 weeks pregnant with our second little boy. I Remember feeling so frustrated and stressed that we wouldn't ever get a sticky baby, especially with my age and limited timeline, but it happened. We just needed to get that good egg! I hope your story has a quick happy ending! :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/questions-to-ask-after-2-losseshow-to-get-earlier-testing-if-i-get-pregnant-again#post-2347486 Sat, 07 Nov 2015 08:02:24 +0000 mrsmacandcheese 2347486@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LCTBQE: Again, I'm so sorry you're going through this. Two effing sucks, for lack of better words -- for me I thought I had already had my bad roll of the dice statistically and so the second one threw me for a loop, badly.</p> <p>I know that hope-against-hope feeling well, and I'm crossing my fingers that in your case everything will turn out just fine! </p> <p>I'm doing ok -- up and down; yesterday was rough because it was *supposed* to be the day I went to the doctor for my first prenatal appointment. :( We're NTNP right now because the doctor I saw in emerg said we should be taking a break but we don't want to, and that leaves me feeling like I'm playing with fire. If I have to have three losses to get testing done I would rather get that loss over with than wait three months to even start trying.</p> <p>And, the last time we conceived, I had stopped charting because it was just making me obsess even more. My cycle is pretty predictable so all that temping &amp; OPKs are doing is confirming what I already know is happening (although I'm sure I'm gonna get some random outlier cycle just to screw with me). It's easier for me to try to forget what's going on when I don't have data to scrutinize. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/questions-to-ask-after-2-losseshow-to-get-earlier-testing-if-i-get-pregnant-again#post-2347277 Fri, 06 Nov 2015 17:14:12 +0000 LCTBQE 2347277@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsDragon: hi lady, thanks for reaching out on the Nov POAS board. I remember seeing your name on the April due date board, but you were out before I joined (and then I was out not long after) and then again on the Oct board. I'm not sure yet, but looks like we might be in the same boat with the back-to-back mc's. I found this thread when I clicked on your name and it's really informative.</p> <p>I just went in for a beta this morning, and had to get special permission to get my progesterone tested, too (it was granted, thank god). I've also had my thyroid tested at a crazy-expensive endocrinologist (I have family history), but it's fine. I keep thinking this pregnancy might have been doomed from the start... late ovulation, not-quite-positive opk, late and super faint bfp at 14 dpo, low beta number, no symptoms other than a little crampy. I know it probably sounds insane to conclude this from one FRER and one temp, but I've all but decided I'm fucked. I just wish my period would come so I could de-bloat and start fresh. Then there is this little part of my head that's saying: "wouldn't it be great if it stuck and you looked like a jerk for all the whining?"--and that's basically all I've got in terms of hope. I'm so scared; I thought that the super-fertility and subsequent successful pregnancy was the big consolation prize for suffering a miscarriage. Anyway, I'm sure all of these things are still warm from you having just been sitting there :heart: </p> <p>How are you holding up? Can I ask why you are NTNP instead of actively trying again--are you just too burned from it all? Your healthcare situation up there doesn't sound totally ideal :meh: I mean, it sounds totally infuriating. </p> <p>Sorry, this is so long! :shocked: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/questions-to-ask-after-2-losseshow-to-get-earlier-testing-if-i-get-pregnant-again#post-2340652 Fri, 30 Oct 2015 20:18:34 +0000 LovelyPlum 2340652@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm very sorry for your losses. Our sticky pregnancy came after an HSG and with aspirin and progesterone therapy. I hope you get some answers soon. And be gentle with yourself. My losses were early, but they still did a number on me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/questions-to-ask-after-2-losseshow-to-get-earlier-testing-if-i-get-pregnant-again#post-2340522 Fri, 30 Oct 2015 16:57:33 +0000 dookie32 2340522@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsDragon: That's really sucky- I'm sorry :sad: . Considering the circumstances then I would say bloodwork at the beginning at least would be something to ease your mind. Maybe you can ask about a progesterone prescription before you get pregnant again? My RE's opinion was that taking it a few days after ovulation is when it's most important. I never took baby aspirin but it's something else that a lot of people swear by that can't really hurt. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/questions-to-ask-after-2-losseshow-to-get-earlier-testing-if-i-get-pregnant-again#post-2340498 Fri, 30 Oct 2015 16:24:45 +0000 mrsmacandcheese 2340498@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@dookie32: I'm so sorry for your losses. :heart: We wouldn't be referred to anyone until a third loss/not getting pregnant after a year, which would be next May (AFAIK -- the doctor I saw last time said that she would have referred us had we not had our daughter to 'prove' that I can get pregnant even though that was two years ago). It's something that can be done, but not yet, I think. And it would involve a 5 hour trip each way, so I can understand why.</p> <p>@Torchwood: Thank you. :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/questions-to-ask-after-2-losseshow-to-get-earlier-testing-if-i-get-pregnant-again#post-2340479 Fri, 30 Oct 2015 15:56:32 +0000 Torchwood 2340479@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think any input I have would be redundant at this point, but I just wanted to say that I'm very sorry for your losses. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/questions-to-ask-after-2-losseshow-to-get-earlier-testing-if-i-get-pregnant-again#post-2340354 Fri, 30 Oct 2015 14:15:08 +0000 mrsmacandcheese 2340354@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MaryM: I'm so sorry. I hope you are able to get answers. The NP I will be seeing did somewhat of a basic workup on me within the last year including my thyroid, but I haven't had hormonal testing done ever. I'm not sure if they will be willing to do that yet, though.</p> <p>That makes sense about the ultrasound timing -- I know when I went in for my last miscarriage, at 6 weeks the tech said there was a good chance she wouldn't see anything anyway even if it WAS ok. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/questions-to-ask-after-2-losseshow-to-get-earlier-testing-if-i-get-pregnant-again#post-2340353 Fri, 30 Oct 2015 14:15:00 +0000 dookie32 2340353@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so sorry for your losses :(. I had a similar situation- got pregnant the 1st month we tried with my 1st. TTC#2- got pregnant the first month of trying. That ended in a MC at 7 weeks. The 2nd time I got pregnant, my OB did betas once I had a positive test and put me on progesterone around 5 weeks. We found out at the 1st ultrasound at 8 weeks that it was a blighted ovum. At that point my dr suggested seeing an RE because of my age (37). It's my understanding that it's now 2 or more losses that are considered recurrent- especially when you are older. My husband and I did all of the bloodwork and other testing with the RE- nothing was abnormal. We were given the go-ahead to try naturally again in May. I got pregnant in June- I was on progesterone starting 2 days after ovulation and had bloodwork done as soon as I had a positive test. We had ultrasounds at 5 weeks and 6 weeks- unfortunately that pregnancy was another blighted ovum as well. Since the only thing my MCs could be attributed to was egg quality, we are currently doing IVF (frozen transfer in November). </p> <p>I know you said you live in a small town but do you have the option of going to an RE? I can just say from my experience that you would probably get a lot more monitoring with an RE than you will with your regular dr. My OB wouldn't do an ultrasound before 8 weeks- even with a previous loss. Their philosophy is sort of that there is nothing that you can really do- if it's going to be a MC, it's going to be a MC. I'm glad that we had the monitoring the 3rd time because we knew very early on that the pregnancy wasn't viable and could have the D&amp;C before the MC happened on it's own (I had an awful experience with misoprostol with my 2nd MC and didn't want to go through that again). </p> <p>I know it's really hard emotionally to keep going through MCs so for your own mental well-being it may be worth looking into options for testing with someone that deals with infertility. They may see an issue that is fixable. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/questions-to-ask-after-2-losseshow-to-get-earlier-testing-if-i-get-pregnant-again#post-2340289 Fri, 30 Oct 2015 13:16:49 +0000 MaryM 2340289@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Also, like others have said, my office generally doesn't see you until 8 weeks, but I called at less than 4 weeks with my second pregnancy and explained that I'd had a previous loss and they were willing to see me and test progesterone and HCG levels. I was put on progesterone even before the test came back just in case. It never hurts to ask. </p> <p>I would also caution against too early of an US. I think a dating scan around 8 weeks is ideal. With my first, I went in around 6 and they couldn't tell if my math was off and I was earlier than expected or if I was miscarrying. that made my miscarriage experience drag on for nearly a month and it was hell. </p> <p>With my second I went in around 7 weeks and she was measuring almost a week behind. She caught up by the next scan (at 9 weeks), but again, it was hell for two weeks. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/questions-to-ask-after-2-losseshow-to-get-earlier-testing-if-i-get-pregnant-again#post-2340282 Fri, 30 Oct 2015 13:09:13 +0000 fancyfunction 2340282@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so sorry you're going through this. I have not experienced losses but as for progesterone, I went in for my first appt at 6 weeks just to confirm pregnancy and my progesterone was s low, so I was put in Prometrium. When I found out I was pregnant again, the office wanted to see me after 8 weeks but I asked to be seen earlier so they could test progesterone. They agreed and it was low again so I was put on the meds again. I'm now 22 weeks. Good luck to you :) </p>