https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 28 Apr 2026 22:25:41 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/really-struggling-with-loss-of-catany-advice-#post-955334 Tue, 23 Jul 2013 09:12:34 +0000 TheSwissWifeStyle 955334@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so sorry :( I know how hard it is to lose a pet. At the time when my first dog Buster died, it had been the hardest thing in life that I dealt with at that point! I cried for a long time, even had to hide under the desk, and leave early from work. </p> <p>I don't know if there's any advice to make it easier to deal with. It will get easier in time. I know losing her in the way you did must have been awful, and that's probably all you can think about right now. But some day you'll be able to think about her with only happy memories. For now, maybe try to focus on how spoiled she was, funny things she did, etc. The fact that she was always with you when you were home shows how much she loved you, so I'm sure she had a super happy life! She was lucky to have you for an owner! </p> <p>Again, so sorry! ::hugs:: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/really-struggling-with-loss-of-catany-advice-#post-955333 Tue, 23 Jul 2013 09:12:28 +0000 Bao 955333@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so sorry again, I can't imagine what you are going through. Lots of hugs! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/really-struggling-with-loss-of-catany-advice-#post-955330 Tue, 23 Jul 2013 09:11:46 +0000 MrsSCB 955330@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Jump Rope: Thank you, it was pretty frustrating. He basically just left a voicemail early in the morning on Sunday to say she had died. We had also decided on a DNR (do not resuscitate) for her instead of having them do CPR after we were told there was only a 5 percent chance CPR would even work. It was an agonizing decision but her liver was failing and I decided that if she were dying I wanted her to pass as peacefully as possible. The vet who left the message that she'd died said, "She went into cardiac and respiratory arrest. We did some lifesaving measures but because of the DNR we stopped." It felt very accusatory, like I'd made the wrong choice, and I was pretty upset about it. Luckily I talked to our regular vet and she assured me that we had made the right decision, that CPR on animals just isn't the same as CPR for people. But suffice it to say, it was upsetting. The guy didn't even say sorry in the message. Ugh, I'm still mad about it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/really-struggling-with-loss-of-catany-advice-#post-955322 Tue, 23 Jul 2013 09:07:56 +0000 edelweiss 955322@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>i am so, so sorry for your loss. it's devastating--they're not just a pet, but a companion, friend, and baby. there's just this big hole in our existence where they used to be, like being perched in her favorite spot or waiting for you outside the bathroom.</p> <p>she knows that you loved her and did everything you could for her. sounds like you were very lucky to have each other. hugs. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/really-struggling-with-loss-of-catany-advice-#post-955312 Tue, 23 Jul 2013 09:02:55 +0000 wahine08 955312@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've never been through this but I'm so so sorry for your loss! Hang in there. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/really-struggling-with-loss-of-catany-advice-#post-955305 Tue, 23 Jul 2013 08:59:55 +0000 pui 955305@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so sorry for the loss of your cat. Pets have a very special place in our hearts and it is so hard to fill the empty void where they were when they pass on. It's especially hard when people are not sensitive to that. Many people do not understand how much it hurts to lose a pet. It's obvious that you cat was very well loved by you and your DH and I'm sure she understood that right to the end.</p> <p>My advice is take things day by day. Don't expect more from yourself than needed.</p> <p>My pup Findley died a few months ago... he was also too young to go, only 10. I always thought he'd be there for at least the birth of my first child. I had the same thoughts about what if there was something else we could have done, but in the end it isn't my fault he died nor is it your fault your pet died. Unfortunate things unfortunately happen. Don't fall in to the trap of blaming yourself. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/really-struggling-with-loss-of-catany-advice-#post-955291 Tue, 23 Jul 2013 08:54:30 +0000 Mrs. Jump Rope 955291@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsSCB: I'm so sorry that they weren't very kind to you in your time of need. It's such a difficult time, and to have the added stress of their rudeness... Ugh!</p> <p>I will keep you in my thoughts! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/really-struggling-with-loss-of-catany-advice-#post-955265 Tue, 23 Jul 2013 08:44:24 +0000 MrsSCB 955265@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Jump Rope: Wow, that sounds very similar to what happened to Evie. She was totally fine Sunday evening, then when I got home from work on Monday she was very lethargic and could barely move. I took her to the vet and they took blood and said her liver levels were elevated. I started her on antibiotics and was feeding her with a syringe for a few days. They did an ultrasound and found her liver was enlarged but no tumors. Then the following Saturday, she started breathing really hard like your Bella so we took her to the emergency vet. They put her in the oxygen chamber and were going to to more tests but we got a call early Sunday morning to say she had died. It's just crazy how fast it all happened. And unfortunately the vet who called to say she died was not very nice but that's a whole other issue. The other two vets we had were wonderful.</p> <p>@mrs. wagon: Thank you for your sweet words. You're right, she was very loved and a very happy (and spoiled!) girl. And I am glad that at least she didn't have to be sick and suffering for very long. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/really-struggling-with-loss-of-catany-advice-#post-955238 Tue, 23 Jul 2013 08:36:29 +0000 twodoghouse 955238@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh my gosh, I am so sorry you are going through this. Almost two months ago we went through something similar when we lost our dog very suddenly in a car accident. We weren't with her at the time and she was still so young and full of life. It was very shocking and it still is. To be honest, I don't exactly have any stellar advice because I'm still working through the grieving process. But I do think it's important to realize that you'll need to grieve and it takes time.</p> <p>When I start to get very upset about our dog (and I still do often, even two months out), I try to remember that she lived a very happy life. She only knew love and doting attention and joy every day of her life. I'm sure your cat lived a beautiful and happy life with you and your DH. I understand what you mean about picturing the future with your cat in it. Our dog would have been a great big sister to our human children. We've had to learn to readjust our visions of the future and even though it's so not fair that we'll never see Charlie with our babies, we know that we can't do anything to change that now, unfortunately.</p> <p>Another thing is that my husband and I have discovered that we need to grieve in different ways. I like to talk about our dog Charlie and see her picture on our mantel and remember her the way she was. However, my husband has a harder time talking about her. At first he didn't want her ashes out where we would walk past her little box every day. So I guess another tip is that everyone deals with this differently and you and your DH may need to grieve differently and take your own time. </p> <p>I'm sending you a lot of healing thoughts and love. If you ever want to talk more about your cat with someone who understands, feel free to write on my wall. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/really-struggling-with-loss-of-catany-advice-#post-955216 Tue, 23 Jul 2013 08:29:45 +0000 Mrs. Jump Rope 955216@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am so sorry for your loss. Losing a pet is SO hard. </p> <p>We lost our first little, Bella, to cancer. She was breathing very heavy and shallow one Saturday, out of the blue, so we made an emergency appointment with our vet. An X-ray showed a mass in her throat, and they told us to take her immediately to the emergency clinic. Further testing revealed she had cancer &amp; they said it too far advanced and was untreatable. We could "make her comfortable" or put her down. It was the worst and most difficult decision we had ever been faced with.</p> <p>It was hard to wrap my head around because like you said -- perfectly fine one day, and not the next.</p> <p>The only thing that helped either of us was time. We eventually adopted another cat, mostly so our second cat would have a companion. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/really-struggling-with-loss-of-catany-advice-#post-955213 Tue, 23 Jul 2013 08:28:54 +0000 jhd 955213@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So sorry for your loss. :( No advice as I haven't been through this yet, but I know I will be a mess when it happens for me. Pets are such an important part of our lives! Hugs to you! :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/really-struggling-with-loss-of-catany-advice-#post-955187 Tue, 23 Jul 2013 08:20:50 +0000 sotofamilia 955187@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am so sorry for your loss - losing a pet is so SO hard. My cat Anthony died a year and a half ago and I still cry for him sometimes - my mom and DH always say how much he loved me and I know he had a good life with me...but I still miss him. It never goes away (at least not yet) - I think there will always be a special place in my heart named Anthony. Many hugs!!!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/really-struggling-with-loss-of-catany-advice-#post-955176 Tue, 23 Jul 2013 08:15:57 +0000 mrs. wagon 955176@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsSCB: I am so so so sorry for your loss. Like others said, it really is so unfair that pets that are really a central part of your family are only with us for a short period of time. All I can offer is that you and your DH obviously loved your cat to the fullest and she knew that every day. And it sounds like she got sick really quickly and passed quickly after that, so at least she was not uncomfortable or in pain for very long. To live her short life happy and loved and totally comfortable, then to pass that quickly, means a very small amount of pain in her life in total. I know it's still so fresh and raw, but when you think of her, try to think of her life as a whole-- all the days she was happy and comfortable, not the very few days at the end when she was not. You fulfilled every animal's dream for her-- provided and warm and loving family, and no doubt she is completely happy, wherever she is. Maybe someday (soon??) you will be able to do the same for another very, very lucky cat! But until you feel ready, you should definitely grieve your loss as much as you feel like. In any case, she was a very very blessed cat to have you for her life here on earth!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/really-struggling-with-loss-of-catany-advice-#post-955152 Tue, 23 Jul 2013 08:07:48 +0000 Ash 955152@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Not crazy at all!! She was your baby!!! My husband is dreading the day I lose one of my cats... I can't imagine being in your shoes right now. No advice but just know it will get easier. Thinking of you! So sorry for your loss!! :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/really-struggling-with-loss-of-catany-advice-#post-955148 Tue, 23 Jul 2013 08:06:27 +0000 MrsSCB 955148@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@SupernovaJ: I'm sorry for your loss as well, it is really tough. I know how you feel about getting another one. We probably will eventually because we have a remaining cat who I think will get lonely without his little companion, but I told DH right after it happened that I wasn't sure I could. For now he said we'll just wait and see how we feel after a little time has passed. *hugs* to you.</p> <p>@rachiecakes: I love that idea, what a sweet gesture! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/really-struggling-with-loss-of-catany-advice-#post-955138 Tue, 23 Jul 2013 08:04:19 +0000 kjpugs 955138@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am so, so sorry for your loss. Both of my family cats were lost while I was in college, and my family pug was lost when I was living away from home. I haven't lost any of the pets that were mine alone and I cannot even imagine what it is like. When a pet is that much a part of your life it is losing a family member, no matter how you look at it. Grieve however you need to- there's no right or wrong way. Do something in memory of your cat, and find ways to remember her for years to come- not sure if the vet made you a paw imprint, or if you got ashes. Maybe you could have a nice urn for them? Or just get a sweet picture of her framed and put somewhere that you can look at it when you want. And don't feel bad crying... you are entitled to do so. You did everything you could for her, and while it's sad it didn't work out differently, she knew she was loved!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thinking of you :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/really-struggling-with-loss-of-catany-advice-#post-955118 Tue, 23 Jul 2013 07:58:20 +0000 MamaBehr 955118@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have no advice, but I know what a void a well loved pet can leave. I am so sorry. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/really-struggling-with-loss-of-catany-advice-#post-955117 Tue, 23 Jul 2013 07:58:09 +0000 rachiecakes 955117@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsSCB: so sorry ::::hugs:::: it's so unfair that our pets are only with us for such a short amount of time. she had a such a good life and such a loving mama. when my cat passed away I made a donation to a shelter after visiting. I wasn't in a position to take on another pet at that time, but it felt good to spend some time there and to donate to them. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/really-struggling-with-loss-of-catany-advice-#post-955084 Tue, 23 Jul 2013 07:41:45 +0000 SupernovaJ 955084@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am so sorry for your loss. :( I had tears reading your post. We also lost our beloved cat a year ago and it was sudden and tragic. Time does heal but I just miss his calming presence and loyalty so much at times. I'm such a cat person too - we would love to get another one but the heart break is too much. Sending you love! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/really-struggling-with-loss-of-catany-advice-#post-955063 Tue, 23 Jul 2013 07:29:27 +0000 MrsSCB 955063@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thank you all, you're probably right that the biggest healer will be time. In a couple weeks we're making a big move a number of states away and it's making me feel a little conflicted. On the one hand, it might be easier to be in a new place where I don't expect to see her around every corner but on the other hand it breaks my heart to think about moving to a new home without her for the first time in six years.</p> <p>@cmomma17: I think that's a great idea -- I would love to have her photos displayed somewhere in our new home so it's like a little bit of her is there. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/really-struggling-with-loss-of-catany-advice-#post-955022 Tue, 23 Jul 2013 07:12:34 +0000 Foodnerd81 955022@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so sorry! I don't have any advice other than that time will probably help, but it's so hard to lose a beloved pet. I'm sure she had a wonderful life, even if it was shorter than you wanted, so know that she knew how loved she was. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/really-struggling-with-loss-of-catany-advice-#post-955020 Tue, 23 Jul 2013 07:11:25 +0000 Dandelion 955020@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>You don't sound crazy at all. I'm going to be a mess when I lose my Jewel. She's 8 and has been with me through everything.</p> <p>I just wanna hug you! I have no advice, though...I hope you start feeling better, soon! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/really-struggling-with-loss-of-catany-advice-#post-955015 Tue, 23 Jul 2013 07:09:14 +0000 cmomma17 955015@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Aww honey, I'm sorry :( sometimes only time helps. Maybe you could create a tribute to her? Like a framed photo collage or a photo album? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/really-struggling-with-loss-of-catany-advice-#post-955002 Tue, 23 Jul 2013 07:02:16 +0000 littlek 955002@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so sorry for your loss. Hugs </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/really-struggling-with-loss-of-catany-advice-#post-954999 Tue, 23 Jul 2013 07:01:04 +0000 MrsSCB 954999@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I posted on Saturday about my cat being very sick. Unfortunately she did not make it and passed away in the hospital early Sunday morning. I'm having a really hard time dealing with it, because it was such a shock. She was fine one day, the next day she was sick, six days later she had died. She was only seven and I didn't even think she was halfway through her life. She was my first cat that was just mine, not my family's, and whenever DH and I thought of upcoming milestones -- having kids, buying our first house -- she was always there. It's especially hard when I get home because she was always either on my lap if I was sitting or following me around the apartment if I was moving around. She even waited outside the bathroom door for me.</p> <p>I know there are lots of others who have been through this -- any advice on how you cope and move forward? Sometimes I miss her so much it physically hurts. I'm also upset that I wasn't there for her when she died, and I can't help wondering if there was something else we could have done because she was just so young. Hopefully I'm not sounding like a crazy person here... :-/ </p>