https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 08 May 2026 01:14:34 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/reasonable-sleep-expectations-is-this-normal-or-am-i-doing-something-wrong#post-2854075 Tue, 30 Oct 2018 22:33:33 +0000 bees_knees 2854075@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I didn't read all of the responses, but I just wanted to comment…that you are not "screwing anything up" or "doing anything wrong". Nothing wrong about the way you help/don't help/whatever your kid sleep! If your comfortable with your current sleeping situation, then keep doing it. And I am fully on the "do what it takes to survive" train when it comes to baby sleep, so you go girl! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/reasonable-sleep-expectations-is-this-normal-or-am-i-doing-something-wrong#post-2854064 Tue, 30 Oct 2018 19:36:02 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2854064@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@periwinklebee: with all those illnesses in the past month I think it's inevitable. If you and your Lo are ok with this for now it's fine. You're definitely not doing anything wrong. And frankly I don't think there's much you can do at the moment! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/reasonable-sleep-expectations-is-this-normal-or-am-i-doing-something-wrong#post-2854063 Tue, 30 Oct 2018 19:23:09 +0000 Amorini 2854063@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@periwinklebee: I agree with many others! Just wanted to add that I nursed to sleep, held him when crying and tried to avoid “methods.” I think instinct is best! At 2 y.o., he is a champ sleeper. That was very hard to imagine for about the first 12-14 months.</p> <p>DS just has never fit any standard schedule that I’ve read about (um, except the ones about development that matter!). I did my best to not stress and just let him be a baby who wanted love and food a lot. HB mamma support helped a lot with that!</p> <p>Around 12 months we night-weaned unless sick. It worked without much fuss. DH helped.</p> <p>Around 14 months I stopped nursing to sleep and we changed the routine to nursing-teeth brushing-ZippadeeZip-snuggles with Dad. </p> <p>At around 22 months I stopped nursing altogether and the before-bed one was the last to go. Easy peasy. We exchanged nursing for books.</p> <p>You have totally got this! Just smile and nod with the other moms. :silly: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/reasonable-sleep-expectations-is-this-normal-or-am-i-doing-something-wrong#post-2854026 Tue, 30 Oct 2018 14:54:18 +0000 JJ2626 2854026@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>You are definitely not doing anything wrong and it’s not a reflection of your parenting in any way! If it works for you then it’s totally fine!</p> <p>But if it doesn’t, there are things you can do in terms of sleep training. A nine month old usually doesn’t need to eat at night so you could night wean and find other ways to soothe (pacifier, pat on the back). We did CIO at 4.5 mos and it worked well for us and she didn’t cry that hard. Now when she is sick or something we just give the paci or pat her or (rarely) pick her up and snuggle for a bit and she goes back to sleep. But she is a baby that likes to sleep. If he is really sick, I wouldn’t do CIO, but you can do it if he is just a bit stuffy, etc. All this to say, you can do something if you want but if you like nursing at night, don’t feel ready, etc, then no need to do it now. And also some babies are just better sleepers than others, I think! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/reasonable-sleep-expectations-is-this-normal-or-am-i-doing-something-wrong#post-2853987 Tue, 30 Oct 2018 12:14:23 +0000 annem1990 2853987@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>You're not doing anything wrong! Do what feels right for you and your baby.</p> <p>I totally feel for you, though. We have good friends who have a toddler and a 6month old. Our LO is 13months. Their 6 month old starting STTN before ours. From what they've told us, she seems to sleep better in general. Their kids seem to nap longer, eat more, go to bed later, etc. We've gone on 2 weekend trips with them in the last few months and my kid threw up on both occasions :crying: ...wasn't sick, just threw up when he we put him down for bed. It was soooo embarrassing and made me feel like I was doing something wrong. I'm cleaning up puke while their kids are sound asleep :silly: . It's hard not to compare, but every kid is different. I have to remember that our kids and ourselves excel in some areas and have trouble in others. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/reasonable-sleep-expectations-is-this-normal-or-am-i-doing-something-wrong#post-2853983 Tue, 30 Oct 2018 11:52:20 +0000 Mrsbells 2853983@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>At 9 months he may not be ready to be night weaned. I agree it doesnt sound like you are doing anything wrong </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/reasonable-sleep-expectations-is-this-normal-or-am-i-doing-something-wrong#post-2853961 Tue, 30 Oct 2018 10:57:10 +0000 psw27 2853961@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Seems normal for a kid who is sick, had croup, had HFM and has teeth coming in. Of course you could be a stickler who insists on cry it out - but I wouldn't' do cry it out if my child was sick. Night weaning is a personal choice. If you think he's hungry and/or you find it easier to nurse him back to sleep then go for it. At some point you'll probably want to/need to end that but you have to decide! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/reasonable-sleep-expectations-is-this-normal-or-am-i-doing-something-wrong#post-2853950 Tue, 30 Oct 2018 10:41:58 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2853950@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My LO STTN at 5-6 weeks and if he fussed I gave him boob or bottle and then cut that out and just gave him a pat on the back when his pediatrician said the MOTN feed was unnecessary. There’s was only one time I attributed teething to a night where he just could not go to and stay asleep. I gave him Motrin. LO didn’t wake when wet even if he leaked, which was rare. </p> <p>Babies and parents are different. Their experience (baby-led or parent-led) was different than yours and that’s okay. Sucks they are giving you crap about it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/reasonable-sleep-expectations-is-this-normal-or-am-i-doing-something-wrong#post-2853936 Tue, 30 Oct 2018 10:06:50 +0000 Foodnerd81 2853936@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@periwinklebee: doesn’t sound too unusual to me. Some kids are better sleepers than other. Some parents are willing to or want to force the issue more than others. </p> <p>FWIW we did CIO with my older one very young (4 months) because she just would not fall asleep. She learned to fall asleep on her own but when we tried overnight, it was just a huge fail and I gave up. I nursed her back to sleep in the middle of the night until she started sleeping through the night on her own at 9 months. After that for the times she did wake up overnight, DH would go soothe her because of I went she would want to nurse and I didn’t want to restart that once she had broken the habit in her own. She is still a sucky sleeper, fights falling asleep, occasionally wakes up overnight or too early in the morning, at 5 years old. </p> <p>My younger daughter I had no energy to fight her in sleep, didn’t start putting to to sleep drowsy but awake until she was at least 6 months old or more, nurses in the middle of the night until she dropped it at one year. She is my rock start sleeper now and never wakes up overnight, basically since she dropped that feed at a year. </p> <p>Kids are just different. But for your sake I hope she comes through this phase soon and you all get some sleep!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/reasonable-sleep-expectations-is-this-normal-or-am-i-doing-something-wrong#post-2853923 Tue, 30 Oct 2018 09:38:58 +0000 looch 2853923@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My son is going on 8, and it's not that I forgot what his sleep was like (it was terrible), but I don't remember a lot of the nuances about it and there has been a lot that has changed since we were in the thick of it (technology and techniques), so I tend to be very forgiving about sleep in discussions, but I do note the more time that passes, the less dramatic it seems. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/reasonable-sleep-expectations-is-this-normal-or-am-i-doing-something-wrong#post-2853922 Tue, 30 Oct 2018 09:34:57 +0000 cyoung 2853922@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I dont think you are doing anything wrong. It sound like your LO has been going through a phase mixed with being sick and teething. Itll get better. Biggest thing is just being consistant whatever you decide to do but you probably know that. Keep up the good work momma. My son is 2 and is going through a phase where he wants to play till 9 PM and wakes up at 6am. He is so grumpy and tired during the day. Some kids and babies just fight sleep lol. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/reasonable-sleep-expectations-is-this-normal-or-am-i-doing-something-wrong#post-2853920 Tue, 30 Oct 2018 09:22:41 +0000 periwinklebee 2853920@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@kiddosc: @snowjewelz: @Ajsmommy: @LBee: Thanks you all! I'm not upset by the comments or anything - just usual small talk with other people who have small kids. It just got me to wondering - am I doing something wrong or is this just LO's nature... I suppose it's always hard to know what is the nature of the kid, versus a conditioned response to a particular type of parenting, which of course i might be screwing up! It's super encouraging to hear that others had kids with similar patterns at this age who ultimately became good sleepers... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/reasonable-sleep-expectations-is-this-normal-or-am-i-doing-something-wrong#post-2853913 Tue, 30 Oct 2018 09:04:19 +0000 snowjewelz 2853913@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It all sounds normal and you're not doing anything wrong! I'm sorry if people are making you feel bad about your parenting! I've never sleep trained either kids and I pretty much do all the "bad" things haha. We also co-sleep with both, but I've grown to be confident in my position and will not apologize for anything. This is what has and is working for my family! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/reasonable-sleep-expectations-is-this-normal-or-am-i-doing-something-wrong#post-2853911 Tue, 30 Oct 2018 09:01:02 +0000 Ajsmommy 2853911@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LBee: and I agree with all of this.. my DD was a champ sleeper from 5 weeks on... I did all the same things with DS but he is just a crap sleeper.... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/reasonable-sleep-expectations-is-this-normal-or-am-i-doing-something-wrong#post-2853908 Tue, 30 Oct 2018 08:59:43 +0000 LBee 2853908@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm confused. Are your co-workers getting up with your kid or you? Why do the GAF? </p> <p>Both my kids slept through the night at 10 weeks, but I have no judgement or thoughts regarding how other kids sleep. You do what is right for your kid, period. Do I feel bad that you are probably super tired? Yes. Do I think how lucky I am that my two STTN early? Yes. But I don't think I did something super right - both kids are high sleep needs. </p> <p>Lastly - I've found that when being asked by people about anything with my kids I usually just say "all is well." More often than not they are just making small talk. Especially if you feel self conscious about something, why subject yourself to potential judgement? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/reasonable-sleep-expectations-is-this-normal-or-am-i-doing-something-wrong#post-2853907 Tue, 30 Oct 2018 08:58:28 +0000 Ajsmommy 2853907@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Your story sounds just about like my DS. He goes to bed and naps easily/by himself however if he's sick/teething he's up multiple times a night. Luckily he usually goes back down pretty quickly.. like I rock him for 5-15 mins but there have been a handful of times he's been awake for a few hours.. like maybe 3-4 times. I just figure it's normal for him.... it sucks and I miss good sleep but I just tell myself it's a phase. And he does sleep well when he's not sick/teething/whatever.</p> <p>ETA: at 9 mos I was nursing him every time he woke up.. he's 21 mos now so no more nursing. Now I just rock him.</p> <p>At 9 mos he woke up at least 2 times a night... he didn't actually sleep through the night until 15 mos. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/reasonable-sleep-expectations-is-this-normal-or-am-i-doing-something-wrong#post-2853905 Tue, 30 Oct 2018 08:48:31 +0000 kiddosc 2853905@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I say you do what works for you. I nursed my kids when they woke up in the middle of the night because it was the quickest way to get us both back to bed. I WOH full time and just wanted to sleep. The trick was to catch them before they fully woke up, like you said. They both eventually dropped all night wake-ups around a year. Now they're both rockstar sleepers, go to bed alone and awake and sleep through until 6:30. I'm not against cry it out, but we did CIO for weeks with my oldest and he still continued to wake.</p> <p>I'm sure people totally disagreed with this method, but it worked for us. This way I nursed them and stayed up for 20 minutes a night instead of hours. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/reasonable-sleep-expectations-is-this-normal-or-am-i-doing-something-wrong#post-2853901 Tue, 30 Oct 2018 08:25:53 +0000 periwinklebee 2853901@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>A couple of colleagues with kids have been taken aback when they asked how my nine month old sleeps and I gave an honest answer. LO has been going down awake for bedtime and naps since 4 months old. However, there's a razor thing margin of awake but sleepy enough that he doesn't decide to pull up and start screaming in his crib. We work to get him down then and have never done an extended CIO. </p> <p>When he sleeps well it's pretty good, but for the past couple of months that's usually only a couple of times per week. Right now his top two teeth are coming through - last night he woke up around 4:30 seemingly uncomfortable and would not go back down - I finally gave up at 6:30. Other times it is a diaper leak, usually we contain it but if it does leak and he gets fully awake, it can be very difficult (like hours) to get him back asleep. And he also has had colds, HFM, and croup in the past month that have led to very frequent and/or extended night wakings. Basically, if he gets fully awake he's inevitably up for hours, and if he's not feeling well he also tends to wake up super frequently. </p> <p>I thought this is just par for the course, especially heading into illness season. But I also wonder - am I doing something wrong? Do I need to night wean (but when he does wake up, breastfeeding is the most likely thing to get him back down), or do more CIO (but I feel really bad about this if he's sick/teething and it won't help)? Anyways, sleep is the biggest thing that makes me repeatedly doubt myself as a parent... </p>