https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 23 Jul 2026 18:29:54 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/recovered-alcoholics#post-222957 Mon, 16 Jul 2012 17:07:39 +0000 hilsy85 222957@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>There's a saying in AA that goes something like "One is too much, and one is never enough". I know there are some groups that advocate for "harm reduction" or moderating your drinking if it's been problematic, but for the vast majority of alcoholics, maintaining their recovery means maintaining abstinence from alcohol and all other mood altering substances. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/recovered-alcoholics#post-222954 Mon, 16 Jul 2012 17:04:41 +0000 sandy 222954@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I know a couple that were terrible alcoholics in their twenties and thirties. They had 2 young kids and made so many bad decisions...finally they got sober for their kids and stayed sober for many, many years - no drinks. One kid only remembers the bad from her childhood...the other younger kid only remembers his parents being so great and involved. </p> <p>After 10+ years of being sober they started having a few drinks when their oldest got married. Now they drink socially all the time. Do they get totally drunk everytime they drink - no - but a lot of their life revolves around being able to have a drink and they leave events early to head to the bar and they often come home drunk and miss work because they drank too much. They are completely delusional that this is a normal life. </p> <p>Completely agree that alcoholics are always recovering and never recovered. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/recovered-alcoholics#post-222673 Mon, 16 Jul 2012 13:57:34 +0000 Adira 222673@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't know a ton of alcoholics, but the couple that I know never drink anymore. They can be around OTHER people who drink, but never drink themselves. I agree with what @Mrs. Blue said: "I think alcoholics are permanently recovering, never recovered." </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/recovered-alcoholics#post-222671 Mon, 16 Jul 2012 13:57:02 +0000 mrs. bird 222671@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Blue: very well said! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/recovered-alcoholics#post-222669 Mon, 16 Jul 2012 13:56:50 +0000 LuLu Mom 222669@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No, an ex high school boyfriend is an alcoholic (with now 5 DUIs to boot.) As soon as he was released from jail this last round he was back at the bar to celebrate his release. He has been to AA, rehab, ect. but for him "just one more" is the most common phrase out of his mouth. He has went months without, but as soon as the drop hits his lips, he has no control. </p> <p>I hate seeing him this way, as he is an amazing guy, he keeps wanting to find a lady to help settle him down, but unfortunately he now comes with a lot of baggage and no driver's license for the next 15 years. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/recovered-alcoholics#post-222668 Mon, 16 Jul 2012 13:56:43 +0000 ninja 222668@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree with the other posters. In my experience of friends/relatives with this disease, it's not something they can regulate...it's all or nothing. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/recovered-alcoholics#post-222645 Mon, 16 Jul 2012 13:47:03 +0000 ladyfingers 222645@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Blue: "I think alcoholics are permanently recovering, never recovered." &lt;-- this. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/recovered-alcoholics#post-222643 Mon, 16 Jul 2012 13:46:20 +0000 ladyfingers 222643@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have never seen this. Actually, I take it back -- we did know one guy who claims that he was able to go back out and not get as bad as last time. But I think it's definitely the rare exception rather than the norm. Alcoholism is described as a physical craving followed by a mental obsession, that occurs when alcohol enters the body. So that's how I think of it -- best intentions aside, the craving and the obsession take over and soon it's just as worse, if not bad. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/recovered-alcoholics#post-222601 Mon, 16 Jul 2012 13:26:37 +0000 Mrs. Blue 222601@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My experience mirrors PPs. One of my friends did AA and got his life back. After 2-3 years, he decided he had been sober long enough that he could handle the occasional drink. He couldn't. He went on to lose everything he had gained. To my knowledge, almost 8 years later, he's still an active alcoholic. I think alcoholics are permanently recovering, never recovered. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/recovered-alcoholics#post-222583 Mon, 16 Jul 2012 13:16:39 +0000 JoJoGirl 222583@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No, the recovered alcoholics I know never, ever ever have one drink. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/recovered-alcoholics#post-222578 Mon, 16 Jul 2012 13:15:09 +0000 MrsBrewer 222578@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>In addition, I see it as an addiction, a person that was addicted to cocaine and now recovered I'm sure would be able to just do 1 hit then stop again. You know? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/recovered-alcoholics#post-222572 Mon, 16 Jul 2012 13:13:53 +0000 MrsBrewer 222572@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would consider my dad an alcoholic truthfully. He binge drinks on the weeekends, it doesn't affect his ability to work during the week, but it affects him. I remember when I was younger, he quit drinking for I think 6 months, then one of his friends was "teasing him" for not drinking anymore, so my dad started again. Then last year around this time, my mom told him he needs to stop drinking, and he quit for a month, and now he's back again.</p> <p>So at least from my experience, no I don't think there is ever a time in an alcoholics life that they would be able to drink socially again and control it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/recovered-alcoholics#post-222570 Mon, 16 Jul 2012 13:13:15 +0000 mrsjazz 222570@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Nope. The two alcoholics I know that tried to have "just one drink" both had major relapses. One is completely sober now--she knows she just can't have one and the other (unfortunately) is my Grandma and she is not sober at all. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/recovered-alcoholics#post-222561 Mon, 16 Jul 2012 13:09:39 +0000 JessicaMcB 222561@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>As someone who was raised by an alcoholic and an enabler, I can say from experience that no they can never "just have one". It's kind of like delicious chips, you know you should stop at one because they aren't good for you but you never do actually stop because you missed these awesome chips, you're "happier" eating the chips than not eating them and eventually the whole damn bag is gone.</p> <p>Replace chips with Molson Canadian and you have my stepfather every night of the week when my mother eggs him on. Addicts are addicts for life, so they will always be in recovery- I don't feel there's such a thing as a recovered addict. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/recovered-alcoholics#post-222550 Mon, 16 Jul 2012 13:02:44 +0000 Running Elley 222550@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have 2 family members who are recovered alcoholics and they both have been sober for years. Neither of them drink at all now. I spoke to one of them about it and he said that he knows that even if he was to have a little he knows that it would go completely downhill for him so he avoids it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/recovered-alcoholics#post-222547 Mon, 16 Jul 2012 13:00:43 +0000 mrbee 222547@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I know a lot of alcoholics, but have never met one who was able to have a drink now and then. I'm not an expert though... maybe I just know the wrong alcoholics! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/recovered-alcoholics#post-222545 Mon, 16 Jul 2012 12:59:29 +0000 mrs. bird 222545@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>i'm not really sure what section to put this in, but feel free to move it.</p> <p>for those that have been close to an alcoholic: has there been a time where they were able to drink again without it being a problem? how long after they become sober were they able to do it? do they stick to certain drinks that they are less likely to overindulge in, like beer or wine rather than hard liquor? </p> <p>i'm not trying to minimize alcoholism or suggest that it's something that just goes away (a close old friend/roommate died in our old apartment recently from alcoholism, so i'm not a stranger to alcoholics, just a stranger to the recovered alcoholic). i'm just wondering if it's possible for someone to regain control of their drinking once they've had time to become sober and establish new habits. i've never had a drinking problem, and now i rarely drink, so it's hard for me to understand, but it seems like there are a lot of people that it's been an issue for a points in their lives. </p>