https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 03 May 2026 03:43:24 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/redshirting-would-you-hold-your-kindergartener-back-a-year/page/2#post-90127 Fri, 09 Mar 2012 01:45:17 +0000 looch 90127@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Happymama: my post wasn't directed at you specifically. Next time I will make sure to be more clear that it was meant in general. You're right I don't know you or what you've had to decide in your life. </p> <p>Each parent has to do what is right for their child and all opinions are valuable. It's the discussion that is important. No one is born knowing all the answers. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/redshirting-would-you-hold-your-kindergartener-back-a-year/page/2#post-89212 Thu, 08 Mar 2012 12:51:05 +0000 LuLu Mom 89212@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My due date is October 6th, and our cut off date for Kindergarten is October 15th in Nebraska. I think instead of making my child one of the youngest, I will hold them back a year so they are one of the older kids. </p> <p>Looking at my classmates in school, I think it was more common to do this, as we had several kids be a whole year older than others. My best friend was a year ahead of me in school, birthday October 15th, but there were several people in my class that were older than her. Just a perference I guess. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/redshirting-would-you-hold-your-kindergartener-back-a-year/page/2#post-89196 Thu, 08 Mar 2012 12:35:32 +0000 Crisark 89196@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@lilteacherbee: Thank you. We aren't without struggles with her but it's more of a comfort on a social level then skill level, with a little extra time and attention she's moving right along now in Second grade. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/redshirting-would-you-hold-your-kindergartener-back-a-year/page/2#post-89174 Thu, 08 Mar 2012 12:21:48 +0000 lilteacherbee 89174@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Crisark: As another person in the Early Childhood Education field, I agree. The decision to keep children back a year is not one made lightly. Obviously, you made the best decision for your child and it seems she's doing great now :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/redshirting-would-you-hold-your-kindergartener-back-a-year/page/2#post-89148 Thu, 08 Mar 2012 11:57:14 +0000 Crisark 89148@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@googly-eyes: My points exactly. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/redshirting-would-you-hold-your-kindergartener-back-a-year/page/2#post-89146 Thu, 08 Mar 2012 11:55:53 +0000 Crisark 89146@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@artbee: Agreed. </p> <p>I'm not arguing with anyone. I won't because I know as a parent that my choice was right no matter how hard it was. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/redshirting-would-you-hold-your-kindergartener-back-a-year/page/2#post-89145 Thu, 08 Mar 2012 11:55:39 +0000 plantains 89145@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We don't have to worry about this because LO is due in June, but all things being equal, I can't see myself opting to pay another $2500 per month for an extra year of daycare and holding tehm back to give them some perceived advantage. Plus we might move to the UK in the future and I would hate for them to end up behind for any reason. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/redshirting-would-you-hold-your-kindergartener-back-a-year/page/2#post-89140 Thu, 08 Mar 2012 11:52:35 +0000 heffalump 89140@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Just because something is right for one child doesn't mean it's right for the next. Every child is different and has different needs. For some there might be ways to catch up while staying in the same grade, but for others you might have to just hold them back a year. I don't think there can be a flat out right or wrong. </p> <p>I feel like people come to Hellobee because parenting is hard. We have to make very difficult decisions every day, and it's nice to have a supportive community of women (and Mr.Bee!) to talk to. This is a place people come to for advice and support. Not to be judged. Parenting is hard enough without having to deal with people's judgement. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/redshirting-would-you-hold-your-kindergartener-back-a-year/page/2#post-89139 Thu, 08 Mar 2012 11:50:58 +0000 googly-eyes 89139@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Crisark: As someone who has worked in an elementary environment and is studying ECE at the grad level...I agree. I agree w/ Happymama in that I would look at those factors as well, but I have met children who were just not ready yet and luckily for many they have transitional grade levels for K and 1 which can be great as well. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/redshirting-would-you-hold-your-kindergartener-back-a-year/page/2#post-89136 Thu, 08 Mar 2012 11:49:53 +0000 regberadaisy 89136@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Obviously it might change depending on the child but we've talked about it and if that were the case for us we would not hold them back. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/redshirting-would-you-hold-your-kindergartener-back-a-year/page/2#post-89133 Thu, 08 Mar 2012 11:48:35 +0000 Crisark 89133@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Happymama: Nope, I sure don't. I can only go by how you come across... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/redshirting-would-you-hold-your-kindergartener-back-a-year/page/2#post-89131 Thu, 08 Mar 2012 11:46:33 +0000 Happymama 89131@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Crisark: I am neither trying to change your mind nor have us agree on anything. But, keep in mind, you do not know anything about me or my background. You don't know what descisions I've been faced with. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/redshirting-would-you-hold-your-kindergartener-back-a-year/page/2#post-89125 Thu, 08 Mar 2012 11:40:23 +0000 Crisark 89125@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Happymama: Wow. Well, I am glad you have all the information on the topic and hope you never have to make that decision.<br /> My daughter is not disabled, does not need glasses, has a wonderful and loving home life, so she simply was shy and not confident enough to work at her full potential. With her extra year in Kindergarten she has flourished.<br /> I also am fairly knowledgeable on the topic as Early Childhood Education is what my degree is in.<br /> We are not going to agree on this and I'm not going to change my mind on thinking you are out of touch with the reality of the situation and seem to have been fortunate to not have been placed in that particular dilemma.<br /> I will not argue my points as I have seen the results of my decision. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/redshirting-would-you-hold-your-kindergartener-back-a-year/page/2#post-89124 Thu, 08 Mar 2012 11:39:53 +0000 Happymama 89124@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: How do you know if I ever been faced with the situation or not? You don't know me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/redshirting-would-you-hold-your-kindergartener-back-a-year/page/2#post-89117 Thu, 08 Mar 2012 11:31:32 +0000 Happymama 89117@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Crisark: I would help my children in every way imaginable. I don't think that retaining a child helps them as much as it could hurt them, right away and in the future. I haven't decided that I know everything! But I know a lot about this particular topic to have formed my opinion about it. If a child is failing at the k-2 level, you need to look at other factors such as, problems at home, learning disabilities, problems at school and with their teacher, or physical problems like vision, hearing, ADD, ADHD or just plain immaturity. None of these problems will be fixed by making the child repeat the grade again the following year. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/redshirting-would-you-hold-your-kindergartener-back-a-year/page/2#post-89098 Thu, 08 Mar 2012 10:42:13 +0000 ecogirl 89098@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Where I live has some really terrible schools and some really wonderful ones that are private. Because of family notoriety, my husband and In Laws don't want them going to a public school. I can understand their point totally. They even had all of their kids go by a different last name as children so that they weren't judged by their family success and also for fear of people trying to get rich off of them. </p> <p>The school we wanted had such a waiting list that we had to get on it when Liam was just turning 3! We just found out he'll be accepted when he turns 5 and that will make it much easier to get Grayson in. I'm not sure if registering them when they are older for the sole purpose of giving them an academic advantage would even work. Some children just get very bored when they aren't being stimulated in school and then they act out. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/redshirting-would-you-hold-your-kindergartener-back-a-year/page/2#post-89087 Thu, 08 Mar 2012 10:33:38 +0000 googly-eyes 89087@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@SorryCharlie: Yeah I should have added in my comment that I'm due 9/18 so it really doesn't matter what I think, my child will be going on six anyway. But I'm sort of relieved that the state just made the decision for us since it was something we're already talking about since DH was one of the oldest in his class and I was one of the youngest. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/redshirting-would-you-hold-your-kindergartener-back-a-year/page/2#post-89075 Thu, 08 Mar 2012 10:30:04 +0000 Crisark 89075@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: Thank you. That's all I'm saying too. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/redshirting-would-you-hold-your-kindergartener-back-a-year/page/2#post-88970 Thu, 08 Mar 2012 08:22:42 +0000 lilteacherbee 88970@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@sorrycharlie: There might be an option to start early, check with your state. In NC, there's a process to start kindergarten early and I think it involves an IQ test and a few other things. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/redshirting-would-you-hold-your-kindergartener-back-a-year/page/2#post-88958 Thu, 08 Mar 2012 07:56:28 +0000 sorrycharlie 88958@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We don't have a choice--due September 25, and RI cutoff is 5 by Sept 1. I'm actually quite irritated by it. I had friends in school that were older than everyone else, but they were born in the beginning of Dec. Sept seems to drastic to me..in our child's grade, s/he will be turning 6 right at the start of the school year, when some other kids might have turned 5 only a few weeks prior. That feels like a huge range, and to be honest, I'm afraid of the child being left behind if they're bored, as teachers usually have to give much attention to children who are struggling (understandable). I feel like if my child IS ready to start kindergarten "early" (ugh, the 3 weeks kills me), I wish there was an option to test in or something. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/redshirting-would-you-hold-your-kindergartener-back-a-year#post-88938 Thu, 08 Mar 2012 07:36:18 +0000 looch 88938@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I couldn't agree with you more, @Crisark, wrt to your comment about deciding before they are faced with the situation.</p> <p>You really can't say what you'll do unless you have some context. Great if you have an opinion, but the decision shouldn't be final. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/redshirting-would-you-hold-your-kindergartener-back-a-year#post-88933 Thu, 08 Mar 2012 07:31:16 +0000 Crisark 88933@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Happymama: Oh I know my choice was right but it's generalized opinions that make me sad. Because god for bid your child needed that help and you had already decided it wasn't gonna happen. That to me is wrong.<br /> I don't think anyone wins by deciding they know everything before they are faced with the situation.<br /> @looch: She was 5. Her birthday is in May. I personally think she just didn't have the confidence level to succeed. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/redshirting-would-you-hold-your-kindergartener-back-a-year#post-88905 Thu, 08 Mar 2012 05:00:04 +0000 Ardently 88905@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If I felt they weren't ready, yes. Just to beat the system and get them advantages, certainly not. I can't see how that helps the child in the long run. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/redshirting-would-you-hold-your-kindergartener-back-a-year#post-88904 Thu, 08 Mar 2012 04:55:53 +0000 SugarplumsMom 88904@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm not sure what the cut-off dates are in my municipality, but if my child's birthday is barely making that date AND I feel that s/he isn't ready for kindergarten, then I would rather wait (if the school allows it). </p> <p>We're expecting our LO to have a summer birthday - she will go to school as planned. If she has developmental problems outside of the norm and not influenced by age, then we'll look into further schooling options, but she'll still start school with everyone else (maybe even earlier if it's needed, but definitely not later). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/redshirting-would-you-hold-your-kindergartener-back-a-year#post-88886 Thu, 08 Mar 2012 02:13:01 +0000 looch 88886@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Crisark: can I ask you a question about what age your daughter was when she started kindy? I am curious if that had an impact, in your opinion.</p> <p>I ask because my son has a december birthday, and I really think that he'll be better of starting at 5 instead of 4. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/redshirting-would-you-hold-your-kindergartener-back-a-year#post-88881 Thu, 08 Mar 2012 01:28:00 +0000 Happymama 88881@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Crisark: I'm not even sure where to start.....you do realize that people can have different opinions about what they will or will not do and that in no way is a judgement or critisim of you and your parental choices??? If you think you made the right choice in holding your daughter back then good for you. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/redshirting-would-you-hold-your-kindergartener-back-a-year#post-88652 Wed, 07 Mar 2012 19:13:46 +0000 joyjoy 88652@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm iffy. I actually know quite a few families who have enrolled their children (mostly boys, not sure if that is significant in any way) in kindergarten at age 6 instead of 5 because they didn't think their child was ready at 5. This I understand. Only you know what your child's needs are and whether they're mature enough to endure a school setting. What I don't understand is holding a child back with the intention of giving them an advantage. </p> <p>Where I grew up, the birthday cutoff was December 1st. Since I'm a December baby, I was one of the eldest in my class. From kindergarten through 3rd grade I was under challenged, bored in class and frustrated with my peers. My parents and the school decided to skip me up to 5th grade the next year, and from then on I was more comfortable curriculum wise and excelled academically. In my case, I didn't have an advantage being a year older than some of my peers. I was unhappy and bored academically. </p> <p>I don't want to purposefully give my children a hard time by enrolling them when they're not ready, but I want them to be challenged. I don't think it does them any favors intellectually to enroll them a year after they're ready. </p> <p>I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm not opposed to delaying the enrollment of my child if I really feel they're not ready emotionally, socially or maturity-wise. I would not delay my child with the purpose of giving them an academic advantage. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/redshirting-would-you-hold-your-kindergartener-back-a-year#post-88519 Wed, 07 Mar 2012 15:21:34 +0000 Crisark 88519@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@artbee: :) thank you!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/redshirting-would-you-hold-your-kindergartener-back-a-year#post-88516 Wed, 07 Mar 2012 15:16:05 +0000 heffalump 88516@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Crisark: We all get mommy guilt for things that really aren't our fault. I cried for hours because I couldn't breastfeed. So my LO gets formula, she's healthy, and we're all happy. So what if your LO needs more time. Now she'll be able to get what she needs to succeed in school. And you're a good mother to recognize that and give her what she needs. I've learned not to listen to other's judgement, only you know what is right for your family. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/redshirting-would-you-hold-your-kindergartener-back-a-year#post-88514 Wed, 07 Mar 2012 15:13:19 +0000 Crisark 88514@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@artbee: Thank you.<br /> I sat in that kindergarten class room in those tiny chairs and cried in front of her teachers because I felt I had failed her. So for someone to blindly judge on this topic hurts very bad.<br /> I'm a good mother. </p>