https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 04 Jul 2026 06:30:57 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/refusing-dinner-and-then-expecting-snacks#post-2530446 Thu, 21 Apr 2016 08:33:44 +0000 lamariniere 2530446@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If my kids don't eat dinner, they don't get anything else. Period. We do the bedtime routine right after dinner so there is no opportunity for a snack. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/refusing-dinner-and-then-expecting-snacks#post-2530376 Thu, 21 Apr 2016 08:03:33 +0000 misolee 2530376@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My LO tries doing this too but she learned real quick that a happy plate is only way she gets to leave the table. No snacks after dinner either.<br /> Occasionally we will have dessert like fruit or icecream on a hot day but nto regularly. Even after dinner, she'll state she's hungry and ask for a snack but I don't give in. Snacks are for snack time. </p> <p>My LO is an okay eater and I'm thankful. But if she does get to the point of completely refusing food to eat snacks, I'm on team go to bed hungry. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/refusing-dinner-and-then-expecting-snacks#post-2530357 Thu, 21 Apr 2016 07:53:06 +0000 caterw 2530357@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We tend to eat dinner later, which helps DD (who is 2.5) get hungry. If she wants a pre-dinner snack while I'm cooking, she can have some veggies or fruit. She has to give everything on her plate a try or she can't get up from the table. She is not allowed to have snacks after dinner, but she can have a little cup of milk before bedtime. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/refusing-dinner-and-then-expecting-snacks#post-2530159 Wed, 20 Apr 2016 19:56:35 +0000 JennyD 2530159@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@gingerbebe: that's not a bad idea! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/refusing-dinner-and-then-expecting-snacks#post-2530094 Wed, 20 Apr 2016 18:32:19 +0000 Tanjowen 2530094@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We are in this phase right now too. We try dinner again if he says he is hungry, and sometimes it works. </p> <p>We also eat dinner early (bedtime is 2 hours after) so he always gets either a spoonful of peanut butter or a bit of banana before heading up to bed, which helps take the stress out of it some for me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/refusing-dinner-and-then-expecting-snacks#post-2529865 Wed, 20 Apr 2016 14:03:06 +0000 Mrsbells 2529865@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LuLu Mom: my LO went through this phase We have clear policy that she has to actually eat her dinner even if she isnt hungry becuase we wont give her any snacks after. yes sometimes she whines but usually after the first bite or two she actually enjoys it. I also promise her some of her favorite fruits as dessert if she finishes </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/refusing-dinner-and-then-expecting-snacks#post-2529859 Wed, 20 Apr 2016 13:59:03 +0000 Kemma 2529859@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Have you tried cutting out the snacks before dinner so that she's definitely hungry when it's time to eat? I'd say she's playing you so I'd explain that there wont be anything to eat after dinner, make her a plate that you know includes foods she likes and then follow through. I know tantrums suck but I think this is probably one of those things that you just have to be consistent about - stay the course! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/refusing-dinner-and-then-expecting-snacks#post-2529842 Wed, 20 Apr 2016 13:46:08 +0000 MrsRcCar 2529842@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My 3.5 year old does this. Well rather did this. We got it to stop when I stopped keeping "junk" snacks in the house. It had been a struggle for me because N is bordering on failure to thrive border. I remind him during dinner that this is it and he gets nothing after dinner for snack unless he eats an acceptable amount of his dinner. Everyone has had to get on board. This is important at all places she has dinner. For instance same rules apply at grandparents and friends houses.<br /> So your DH may just need to excuse himself during her tantrums. If she sees that he leaves perhaps it will lessen the time of the tantrum. Either excuse himself or learn to handle the tantrum. It won't be fun or easy for either of them but the adult can not buckle or it will never change. Good luck momma! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/refusing-dinner-and-then-expecting-snacks#post-2529749 Wed, 20 Apr 2016 12:21:58 +0000 T.H.O.U. 2529749@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We have done a few things to battle this.<br /> 1. Plate left on the table.<br /> 2. No snacks before 7:15. So if we finish dinner by 6:15 and she wants a snack, too bad its not snack time.<br /> 3. Only healthy snacks (parent pick). This usually is a piece of fruit, slice of cheese, etc. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/refusing-dinner-and-then-expecting-snacks#post-2529735 Wed, 20 Apr 2016 12:12:26 +0000 gingerbebe 2529735@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've heard of offering just ONE boring but balanced thing if dinner is refused, like a quesadilla or a peanut butter toast. That's it, that's the default. That way, everyone is clear on what's available and the parent doesn't feel guilty about sending a kiddo to bed hungry. I like the idea of waiting an hour after dinner too. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/refusing-dinner-and-then-expecting-snacks#post-2529699 Wed, 20 Apr 2016 11:50:09 +0000 catomd00 2529699@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We introduced a regular snack time about an hour after dinner. If she refuses to eat dinner but asks for other food, we tell her she has to wait until snack time. At snack time she gets the choice of two healthy options that I choose. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/refusing-dinner-and-then-expecting-snacks#post-2529635 Wed, 20 Apr 2016 11:13:08 +0000 Mrs D 2529635@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No advice...just commiseration...DH is the problem here. DD1 is 2.5 and has totally learned how to work him over...we're having a major re-alignment soon once the dust settles from having DD2...right now he just struggles to have the energy to fight the fight! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/refusing-dinner-and-then-expecting-snacks#post-2529630 Wed, 20 Apr 2016 11:06:35 +0000 LulaBee 2529630@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We try to always include something I KNOW she will eat at dinner. If she says she doesn't want dinner, that's fine, but she doesn't have to eat it. We tried doing an "eat this, get dessert" approach but I'm trying to cut out using food as a bribe- trying to get rid of the "veggies/dinner are bad, dessert is good" mentality. Occasionally we will serve dessert WITH dinner, and she eats what she wants. The only way she can have a snack (banana or crackers) before bed is if she's eaten her dinner so I know she is still hungry. May seem tough but it's helped a lot with the after dinner hungry whining. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/refusing-dinner-and-then-expecting-snacks#post-2529607 Wed, 20 Apr 2016 10:46:36 +0000 wheres_c 2529607@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My LO isn't allowed snacks or any tablet time if he doesn't finish dinner. (And by finish, I mean eat a subjective amount pre-determined by myself).<br /> He's 3. If he doesn't eat, he goes hungry and will have to wait until breakfast. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/refusing-dinner-and-then-expecting-snacks#post-2529606 Wed, 20 Apr 2016 10:46:30 +0000 cascademom 2529606@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We've had this come up a lot since about 3.5 years old or so. We take the bites and a dessert approach. It happens right before bedtime too. If he makes a "happy plate" or close to it, he gets a small dessert or snack, then off to bed. No food goes upstairs. It's been an ongoing battle, but being on the same page is absolutely key. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/refusing-dinner-and-then-expecting-snacks#post-2529587 Wed, 20 Apr 2016 10:31:39 +0000 Freckles 2529587@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree, you and DH are going to have to get on the same page or you're going to continue being really frustrated.</p> <p>LO1 is so picky and won't eat unless she REALLY likes it. I won't even give her snacks before dinner when she gets home otherwise her appetite is completely ruined. She now knows that she doesn't get anything outside of her dinner (even a glass of milk) unless she finishes her plate. I no longer pile a lot of food on her plate, and i will even ask her how much she wants. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/refusing-dinner-and-then-expecting-snacks#post-2529436 Wed, 20 Apr 2016 08:47:28 +0000 Maysprout 2529436@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My oldest was a wisp, was in the 3rd percentile for weight and 50th for height. She was growing taller but not keeping much weight on. So .... we're a bit more lenient. We'll send them to their room at dinner If Theyre goofing around and not eating and then expect them to eat more when they come back down If they want dessert. But if they decide to forgo dessert we usually will give them plain whole milk yogurt with Cheerios or oatmeal in it with a glass or two of whole milk before bed. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/refusing-dinner-and-then-expecting-snacks#post-2529395 Wed, 20 Apr 2016 08:21:28 +0000 BrandNewMom 2529395@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm on team snack. My kid is a grazer, eating a little bit all day long and no real meals. We just make sure to only keep healthy snacks in the house. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/refusing-dinner-and-then-expecting-snacks#post-2529382 Wed, 20 Apr 2016 08:14:27 +0000 Mamaof2 2529382@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Up until age 4 (if I remember correctly) I would give them oatmeal before bed if they didn't eat dinner and was hungry. (I couldn't bring myself to send them to bed hungry :sad: )</p> <p>After that age I would reheat their dinner or they get nothing at all - 99% of the time they will eat their reheated dinner and then still ask for a snack - which is fine with me </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/refusing-dinner-and-then-expecting-snacks#post-2529380 Wed, 20 Apr 2016 08:14:04 +0000 Ginabean3 2529380@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is my DD! We have a rule that once you say you're done with dinner, YOU'RE DONE. No more food until breakfast....especially if you didn't finish your dinner! She's gone to bed hungry a couple times and then I reheat her dinner and make her eat it for breakfast. She learned really fast if she doesn't want to be hungry she needs to eat dinner. And if she doesn't want dinner leftovers for breakfast she needs to eat dinner.</p> <p>DH and I are really strict about this though. I think you need to get your DH to be on board with not giving in. Yes, she will melt down and throw a tantrum, but stay strong mama...after a couple of days she will get it! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/refusing-dinner-and-then-expecting-snacks#post-2529378 Wed, 20 Apr 2016 08:13:20 +0000 LuLu Mom 2529378@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@regberadaisy: Yep, my oldest is a complete daddy's girl and I've told him he's doing her no favors! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/refusing-dinner-and-then-expecting-snacks#post-2529375 Wed, 20 Apr 2016 08:12:12 +0000 JenGirl 2529375@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Unfortunately, I think your husband is going to need to learn how to deal with the tantrum, because if he keeps giving in, it just reinforces it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/refusing-dinner-and-then-expecting-snacks#post-2529357 Wed, 20 Apr 2016 08:05:29 +0000 regberadaisy 2529357@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DD1 went thru this phase too. We kept reminding her during the dinner that if she doesn't eat dinner she won't get a snack afterwards. if she said she's done we repeat. I leave the plate on the counter and if she asks for a snack I tell her she can finish her food. Nothing else. I'm sure there were plenty of nights she went to bed hungry. There were also plenty of nights she got sent to her room if she didn't stop tantruming.</p> <p>But DH &amp; I are on the same page regarding this and was able to nip it in the butt and it didn't go on for long.</p> <p>I think because your DH is giving in that's why she's throwing tantrums. She knows daddy will give in. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/refusing-dinner-and-then-expecting-snacks#post-2529346 Wed, 20 Apr 2016 08:00:29 +0000 LuLu Mom 2529346@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh my patience is wearing thin with our 3 year old right now! She refuses to eat the dinner I make, saying she's full, and then the dishes will not even be cleared and she says "I'm hungry I want a snack!" I have started to leave her plate on the counter and when this happens I offer to heat it up for her, but this causes a huge meltdown. My DH usually gives in (my girl can carry on for a LONG time, she's stubborn and he just can't take it.) This frustrates me so much, I want her to eat the good stuff and not the crap! </p> <p>What do you do to make them eat their dinner? </p>