https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 04 Apr 2026 12:52:35 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/religion-at-work/page/2#post-2873508 Fri, 22 Feb 2019 12:38:49 +0000 psw27 2873508@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Turtle: I was going to comment that this might be an opportunity for you to provide them with some diversity and LBGTQ learning moments.... but I would never suggest that someone should be forced to be the "teachable" moment in order to fit into a work place. I'm rambling but you get my idea I think! I think if the pros (learning, nice people, etc.) outweigh the cons, you will certainly gain from the experience. I am not a fan of forwarding private emails but... everyone makes mistakes. eek! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/religion-at-work/page/2#post-2873505 Fri, 22 Feb 2019 12:36:04 +0000 Mrs. Turtle 2873505@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@psw27: I'm prepared to learn how NOT to do things, from a professionalism standpoint. But I also think they have a lot of wonderful things to teach about social work, so I will stick with that and maybe encourage some diversity training while I'm there! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/religion-at-work/page/2#post-2873495 Fri, 22 Feb 2019 12:06:07 +0000 psw27 2873495@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Turtle: Oof. That's annoying. I hope this works out okay for you. :meh: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/religion-at-work/page/2#post-2873491 Fri, 22 Feb 2019 11:39:26 +0000 Mrs. Turtle 2873491@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Update: this morning I was CCd on an email that also went to the person in charge of getting me set up with HR. I realized quickly that in order to connect us, the supervisor simply forwarded our entire email thread from yesterday to the person she mentions as being responsible for all of the God talk. I knew this was a risk, and was prepared to be outed, so personally I'm fine. But seriously... how careless. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/religion-at-work/page/2#post-2873376 Thu, 21 Feb 2019 17:47:01 +0000 LCTBQE 2873376@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Like a lot of pp’s, my jaw would be on the floor to hear this kind of talk. I work in an industry that’s also pretty homogeneous re religious, political, and social beliefs, but people rarely/never discuss it because it’s unprofessional and has nothing to do with our jobs. I would be so uncomfortable with this! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/religion-at-work#post-2873365 Thu, 21 Feb 2019 16:15:20 +0000 Mrs. Turtle 2873365@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@codeitall: haha no problem. I felt like I needed to say something fairly quickly, while the meeting was still fresh in everyone's mind. She already responded, said I had nothing to worry about and that the religion talk was people's way of making sense of one of the staff members announcing their departure. I'm kind of torn, because there were many references to God or God's plan BEFORE that part of the meeting started, so I know it isn't just that. But that was a part of it, and took up the last 1/3 of the meeting, so I understand why it is at the forefront of the supervisor's mind. It was a very emotional conversation for the entire staff. So...I think I will stick with this placement and give them the benefit of the doubt. I liked the supervisor a lot in my interview, so I'm hoping that gut reaction was accurate and that this was an unusual meeting for them. She did say, in her response, that she's going to ponder how their group discussions can be more inclusive and how they might be assuming things they shouldn't assume, which makes me feel like she at least understands where I'm coming from. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/religion-at-work#post-2873362 Thu, 21 Feb 2019 16:07:13 +0000 codeitall 2873362@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>That's shocking to me. I agree with others, totally across the line. That would make me very uncomfortable. Honestly in most situations I would recommend doing any awkward questions over email, but I think you want as much honesty as possible before you jump in multiple months in there. Have a conversation in person. You want to come out of your internship with stellar references and experience and I'd be concerned about getting both there.</p> <p>Regardless of what you choose, I would absolutely tell the director that the team culture seemed out of place for a government office and workplace.</p> <p>Edit: haha apparently I took too long to post ;) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/religion-at-work#post-2873359 Thu, 21 Feb 2019 15:55:18 +0000 Mrs. Turtle 2873359@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I sent an email. The field supervisor wanted to be CC'd on it so it just made sense to do an email. It'll be interesting to see what the response is... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/religion-at-work#post-2873351 Thu, 21 Feb 2019 14:25:33 +0000 periwinklebee 2873351@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Turtle: I totally agree that I would care what the religion is correlated with. I think Christianity itself is great, and just am very uncomfortable with some of the other things that it sometimes comes bundled with nowadays in the U.S.... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/religion-at-work#post-2873342 Thu, 21 Feb 2019 13:24:21 +0000 Mrs. Turtle 2873342@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Pollywog: I like that wording. This is no fun. Part of me wants to just walk away and find something else, even if I know it won't be as good of a fit professionally. But I suppose it's a growth opportunity for me to at least make the attempt to make it work. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/religion-at-work#post-2873334 Thu, 21 Feb 2019 13:00:28 +0000 Pollywog 2873334@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Turtle: Ugh. I think calling the director would be helpful. I would phrase it as "I think this opportunity is great and I'm so excited to join your team. I am a little concerned if I am the best fit. There was lots of talk about religion yesterday. Is that typical?" I would try and work myself to a place where you could ask "I'm not comfortable discussing my religious beliefs in the workplace, is that going to be a problem?" and "when we discuss our families, is it going to be uncomfortable for you that my family makeup is different than yours?"</p> <p>I hate that you have to have this conversation. For what it is worth, all of the Christians I know wouldn't bat an eye at a gay colleague </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/religion-at-work#post-2873303 Thu, 21 Feb 2019 10:53:27 +0000 MsMini 2873303@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am actually floored that that kind of religious talk is openly happening at a workplace. To me that is incredibly unprofessional. Work is work, religion is religion to me and people’s reliciois beliefs have no place in the workplace. Especially in a pubic service type job. I’m sorry you are dealing with this. I hope that you can find a way to comfortable complete your placement there. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/religion-at-work#post-2873288 Thu, 21 Feb 2019 09:50:31 +0000 Mrs. Turtle 2873288@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mommy Finger: I agree, although it's over an hour away and it isn't easy for me to line up childcare for an extra meeting. I could potentially do it over the phone though. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/religion-at-work#post-2873282 Thu, 21 Feb 2019 09:36:17 +0000 Mommy Finger 2873282@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Turtle: Sorry you're dealing with this as no one should have to. However, I am wondering if it would be best to talk to your director in person or over the phone vs an email. I know that sometimes it's hard to gauge tone via an email and I would personally be nervous that an email might be passed around. If you're comfortable, I would recommend asking to meet in order to address your concerns. I think you'll also be able to better gauge their immediate reaction to help you tell whether it will be a problem going forward. I wish you nothing but the best and hope it works out for you. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/religion-at-work#post-2873277 Thu, 21 Feb 2019 09:21:53 +0000 foodiebee 2873277@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Turtle: I completely understand and hope you get a supportive response when you email! I always wished I'd had an opportunity to have a convo with my manager about it in hopes that it would help the workplace grow more accepting, but I never got that chance. How your workplace reacts will show you a lot about whether you want to stick it out or not, or at least what doing so would be like. Fingers crossed for you! :goodluck: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/religion-at-work#post-2873266 Thu, 21 Feb 2019 08:59:15 +0000 Mrs. Turtle 2873266@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@foodiebee: Thank you so much for putting all of that into words (and I'm sorry you had to suffer through such an uncomfortable work situation). You've also explained my concerns perfectly. This is my fear of what could happen. Now, no one asked me what my relationship with Jesus was yesterday, but I fully anticipate that happening in another meeting like this. It was such a huge part of their office culture (one intern said, word for word, "We all love Jesus here!") that it was clear the assumption was that we all shared the same beliefs. I'm fairly sure I mentioned in my initial interview my partner, and used the "she" pronoun, but that could've been missed. In some ways, it's even harder for me to determine their true feelings about the LGBTQ community because I'm part of it. If the director does know, she will surely be careful not to say anything that could be taken as discrimination.</p> <p>Given that this is a temporary position, only two days per week, one of very few options, and a VERY good fit in every other way, I still think it may be worth sticking out. But I want to out myself (both as a non-believer AND gay) ahead of time via email so I can try to gauge their reactions. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/religion-at-work#post-2873264 Thu, 21 Feb 2019 08:52:03 +0000 Mrs. Turtle 2873264@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@hummusgirl: I'm sure it could, but I hate being in that position. I'm in it at my current job and while everyone is relatively fine with it, it puts a lot of unnecessary weight and responsibility on the one who is "diversifying" the workplace. I'd imagine it's similar to someone being the only POC in a white workplace, but I have the privilege of only outing myself if I want to, and passing as straight until I do.<br /> @bees_knees: Thank you. I'm hoping so too. Just wish there was a way to know ahead of time!<br /> @Kaohinani: No problem, I didn't find your post offensive at all, I just think we were talking about two different situations.<br /> @DesertDreams88: Comments about an individual's relationship with God, while out of place in a meeting like this, don't bother me at all. To each their own, as long as no one is oppressing others. And I'm still in CA. Even if I weren't, I am not worried about discrimination, more just about feeling out of place and awkward for 8 months while this conversation continues around me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/religion-at-work#post-2873263 Thu, 21 Feb 2019 08:51:35 +0000 foodiebee 2873263@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm a bit rushed so only skimmed the responses, but I wanted to chime in with my related experience. I took a job at a company that came highly recommended to me via previously coworkers, and on my first day, they prayed in the team meeting, blessed the lunch, and the owner of the company asked me directly what my personal relationship with Jesus was. I'm not religious and wasn't raised in a religious household and was truly floored. I was immediately terrified that if I spoke honestly--a characteristic I believe strongly in--I'd lose the job, as it had become clear over the course of the day that this was an openly religious company and I was the ONLY person who held different beliefs.</p> <p>Due to everything else about the job being great, I stuck it out for the next few years. I was miserable. I got snapped at when I mentioned my brother's partner once (it was NOT accepted there and that's how I learned this fact) and was routinely asked my religious opinion on things with the outright assumption that I held the same beliefs. Like I said, I lived for years in real fear that I was going to be outed and lose a job that I really needed. </p> <p>What also hurt was the assumption that I held the same beliefs. No one ever asked if I did, and it created a culture where it put the responsibility of outing myself as a type of Other on me rather than on my work environment to be welcoming to all people. I couldn't really develop meaningful relationships with my coworkers because I had to hide my very diverse family from experiences and conversations that I knew would bring judgment. It really weighed on me and influenced my experience there. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/religion-at-work#post-2873242 Thu, 21 Feb 2019 07:28:34 +0000 DesertDreams88 2873242@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>FWIW - I was raised as a nominal Catholic in the Northeast and started believing in Jesus/Bible at age 15, then went to an evangelical college in the midwest. </p> <p>I still would NEVER be comfortable with the exact quotes you have here. I'm willing to say individualized things like about MY relationship with God, if I think it's relevant. But in a secular workplace I would be so taken aback by the situation you describe.</p> <p>2 of my coworkers outed themselves to me/our team this year and I was so thankful they felt "safe " enough to do that (though the fact that there still is fear and possible discrimination is a rotten situation). I feel closer to them bc we don't have to dance around about certain topics, they both mention their partners, we talk about life, etc.</p> <p>Are you in a state that allows workplace discrimination? I think you used to be in CA but maybe not anymore? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/religion-at-work#post-2873236 Thu, 21 Feb 2019 05:44:14 +0000 Kaohinani 2873236@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Turtle: Understood. I did not understand the nature of the position and that it was a county position. Thank you for clarifying. :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/religion-at-work#post-2873225 Thu, 21 Feb 2019 00:41:50 +0000 bees_knees 2873225@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Turtle: no real advice on what I would do, but I HOPE that you are accepted (and embraced!) there for you are! I am a decently devout Catholic and I do! :) Hoping you will be pleasantly surprised by the staff, if that's the road you choose. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/religion-at-work#post-2873224 Thu, 21 Feb 2019 00:40:05 +0000 hummusgirl 2873224@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Turtle: Good luck! Also, your presence could open some minds! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/religion-at-work#post-2873216 Wed, 20 Feb 2019 23:33:36 +0000 Mrs. Turtle 2873216@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@hummusgirl: I agree. That's kind of where I'm leaning, IF I can somehow be assured that I will be welcomed there for who I am, including the fact that I'm married to a woman. I do get the sense that, given the self-disclosure, reflection, etc expected in these meetings, I should probably say something up front to the director ahead of time so it's clear why I'm not participating in the "we all love Jesus" talk. And I want to out myself to her privately so (I hope) she can tell me if that is going to be a problem. Or at least maybe her reaction can tell me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/religion-at-work#post-2873215 Wed, 20 Feb 2019 23:30:23 +0000 hummusgirl 2873215@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would be uncomfortable/annoyed with this, AND I would make an effort to stay and try to make it work. </p> <p>I would try to find things you have in common, see it as kind of an anthropological exercise - basically just go in with curiosity and try to learn as much as you can from the experience. No matter how uncomfortable, it'll be over in 8 short months anyway. </p> <p>Religion can be hugely helpful and also detrimental and I find it so fascinating - can't decide whether it's a net-positive or negative at this point. But it can't hurt to better understand a perspective that guides so many people's everyday lives. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/religion-at-work#post-2873209 Wed, 20 Feb 2019 22:27:56 +0000 Mrs. Turtle 2873209@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ShootingStar: I really want to, but I also really know that this is probably the best option I have locally. Such a hard decision.<br /> @bhbee: Yeah, I knew this area was rural and relatively conservative, but the pervasive religion was surprising to me. Probably shouldn't have been. Hoping to move after this internship is over!<br /> @mrsrain: Hi fellow MSW student! I spoke with my field advisor at length this afternoon. She was shocked, as she has another student placed there now. I told her that said student was in the meeting, participating with enthusiasm in the "we love Jesus" talk. So of course she wouldn't have mentioned it.<br /> @muffinsmuffins: Thanks for validating that. I was worried I was just being crazy.<br /> @periwinklebee: Sigh. This is my concern. There is a local community that is very religious but also seemingly very socially liberal. I'm friends with several of them and have worked with others through my job, and I think very highly of them. They're very outspoken on social justice issues and critical of more "mainstream" evangelical Christians. If I could know for sure that I was walking into a community like that, I'd be ok with it and would just ignore the constant references in work meetings. I just don't know how to find out for sure! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/religion-at-work#post-2873208 Wed, 20 Feb 2019 22:21:45 +0000 Mrs. Turtle 2873208@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Kaohinani: So I think the main difference in the situations you mentioned vs the one I'm finding myself in is that each of your institutions were clear about their religious affiliations. This is a county office of education program. I feel pretty strongly that religion, especially any one specific religion, has no place in public education. I also agree that people should be free to practice any religion they want, as long as they are not hurting or oppressing anyone else by doing it. I just think it has no place in a government run agency. Unfortunately, unlike a job, I can't try it out while looking for something else. It is commit to the full internship, or try to find something else now. You can't do some hours at one place and some at another. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/religion-at-work#post-2873203 Wed, 20 Feb 2019 21:55:51 +0000 Kaohinani 2873203@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@muffinsmuffins: @ShootingStar:<br /> I mean, absolutely, no disrespect to OP (of whom I highly respect and adore) or to either of you ladies. I was just stating the circumstances in which I found myself while teaching. I do not wish to expand upon my personal lifestyle, background, or that of many family members (as it is their perogitive to share of their religious beliefs, sexuality, and work goals and not mine to disclose). I do not know if religion was discussed excessively or not, or even the level of discomfort or disregard it served. I was, simply, sharing my experience in a similar (read as: many) situation. In every way - Respectfully, me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/religion-at-work#post-2873202 Wed, 20 Feb 2019 21:54:24 +0000 muffinsmuffins 2873202@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Turtle: definitely not oversensitive. I would have reacted the same way. Even after many years of being out, I am still wary in some situations of being totally open right away. I’m always on low grade alert about safety, awkwardness, intolerance, etc. and I think I always will be. Good luck! It’s super disheartening that you have to deal with this when you were hoping for a better situation. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/religion-at-work#post-2873200 Wed, 20 Feb 2019 21:50:04 +0000 periwinklebee 2873200@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My reaction is colored by many less than pleasant experiences around people who were very evangelical and made a very strong effort to thrust their beliefs upon me, not just about religion per se but also about science (or their lack of belief in it), about politics, about sexuality, about gender norms, about the superiority of certain ethnic groups, about gun control, and the list goes on....And none of it was open to debate or discussion, including the science stuff. I am obviously not saying that everyone who is religious is like this, but just that in my experience the terms you use tended to be correlated with these sorts of views, and being very vocal about them. I would be hightailing it out of there as fast as possibly possible, honestly. Being around stuff like this gives me anxiety.... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/religion-at-work#post-2873197 Wed, 20 Feb 2019 21:38:28 +0000 mrsrain 2873197@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I’m surprised that religion is coming up that much in a county social services program. As a MSW student who is also starting a field placement soon, and as a Christian, I would have concerns about that environment. That said, I would start by talking to your field supervisor and your field placement coordinator and see what your options are. Changing placements so late in the game can really be problematic (speaking from experience). If it is something you can take in stride and process with the support of your school, it could still end up being a valuable learning experience. </p>