https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 22 May 2026 15:42:39 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/reluctant-toddler#post-35422 Fri, 16 Dec 2011 15:21:06 +0000 sorrycharlie 35422@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@tina: try, "that's one!" "that's two!'' and on three, the time out/whatever other method you see fit (taking toy, picking up and moving, walking away, etc) and stick to that like glue. Eventually it works :) It can take awhile but its so worth it! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/reluctant-toddler#post-35408 Fri, 16 Dec 2011 15:11:15 +0000 Andrea 35408@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@tina: ya, maybe our kids do not like routine. i do the same exact thing with my daughter daily and it doesn't seem to help. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/reluctant-toddler#post-35396 Fri, 16 Dec 2011 14:32:01 +0000 mrs. wagon 35396@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrbee: @banana: we are ALL about routine (change his clothes in the same place, even do it in the same order every single day) but he's still been resisting. Maybe he's telling us he doesn't want a routine. Haha. I think the part about letting them get emotionally prepared for the next transition is key for RJ. It's so much talking and fake enthusiasm. Maybe that's why I'm so exhausted these days.... ;) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/reluctant-toddler#post-35384 Fri, 16 Dec 2011 14:16:20 +0000 banana 35384@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>With my LO, if it's something that's routine (like removing clothes before bath, getting into the bath, getting out of the bath, putting on PJs, etc) he doesn't complain or fuss. It's when we want him to do something that's not the usual routine, like put on his thick coat to go outside when it's cold, that he complains. So I totally agree with emphasizing routine. Kids love to know what's coming next. That's why they like reading the same books and watching the save TV shows over and over and over again. I think it gives them a small sense of control. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/reluctant-toddler#post-35326 Fri, 16 Dec 2011 13:00:37 +0000 mrbee 35326@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@tina: Yah they recommend counting to 3 to control bad behaviors. They also talk about how to use routine to encourage good behaviors, and also how to strengthen your relationship with your kid.</p> <p>Re: routines to get Charlie to prepare to transition to things he doesn't want to do, I've had a lot of initial success telling Charlie what's coming up in a few minutes. Along those lines, kitchen timers are really useful. You can tell your child: "Ok, now we're going to read a book for ten minutes, and then we'll start the water for the bath. Then when the timer rings, you start the water for the bath and say, "Ok, we'll start the bath in five minutes" (and set the timer again). That way, there's no bargaining or cajoling, and Charlie has time to prepare emotionally.</p> <p>The other thing that has revolutionized things is that I always change Charlie in the same place (on top of his dresser, where his changing pad is). Previously I had been changing him anywhere, and he did not like that (to put it mildly). The Magic 123 book emphasizes routine, routine, routine when you want your kids to start doing something. That part was really eye-opening for me! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/reluctant-toddler#post-35304 Fri, 16 Dec 2011 12:39:26 +0000 mrs. wagon 35304@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@sorrycharlie: @mrbee: I'm so excited to read 123 Magic, I may pick it up this weekend. Does it involve counting? Rob Sr. has been trying a trick lately when RJ wants something and we can't provide it right away (the fishsticks are still in the microwave, mommy has to wash the cup out first, etc) he gets RJ to say "wait" and count to 10. If it takes more than up to 10, they count again. Haha. It's been kind of so-so, so far... but so-so is so much better than nothing. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/reluctant-toddler#post-35139 Fri, 16 Dec 2011 10:06:14 +0000 sorrycharlie 35139@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>123 Magic is fantastic. It worked wonders on my younger sister (at the time, diagnosed with Reactive Attachment Disorder, Mood Disorder NOS, ADHD, Anxiety, etc) and now has been diagnosed with Asperger's &amp; Bipolar instead of the RAD and MD-NOS. </p> <p>I'm working toward my Master's in Couple &amp; Family Therapy (May, woohoo!) and recommend 123 Magic to anyone who will listen! There's even a DVD :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/reluctant-toddler#post-35136 Fri, 16 Dec 2011 10:03:12 +0000 BoogieBea 35136@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We've been battling this behavior with our 2 year old as well. So would love to learn some new tips. Lately, we've actually been using a kitchen timer. I tell him that once the timer goes off in x minutes then he has to stop doing what he's doing and on to what we ask him to do. So far it's working pretty well. Not 100% but not as much kicking and screaming. We also try to give him ownership of the action, by making him agree that in 5 minutes he needs to get out of the tub. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/reluctant-toddler#post-35084 Fri, 16 Dec 2011 08:58:40 +0000 mrs. wagon 35084@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrbee: great, can't wait to hear about it!!! @NYCaliMama: Yes, I've started doing that with his bedtime (After one episode of Wiggles, then we'll go upstairs) and he still freaks out when I mention "upstairs" or "bedtime" at all, but the last two nights after constantly mentioning it (we'll go upstairs in 4 minutes... we'll go upstairs in 3 minutes...) he still protested when I told him it was time to go up... but when I told him he could bring his guitar, he let me pick him up and carry him up the stairs. Fingers crossed that this trick will work at least for a while!! And yes, he just turned 2. Haha. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/reluctant-toddler#post-35063 Fri, 16 Dec 2011 08:03:21 +0000 Andrea 35063@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrbee: Great! Also need a tip to get my LO to sit in her high chair or booster seat. Granted, she is sick this week so hopefully this will pass. But all week she will only sit on top of me and I feed her in front of the TV. :-/ </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/reluctant-toddler#post-35062 Fri, 16 Dec 2011 07:10:40 +0000 mrbee 35062@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The book "magic 123" has some amazing tips in it! I've started using it on Charlie, and it's literally life changing. Will post more when Charlie isn't crawling all over me! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/reluctant-toddler#post-35061 Fri, 16 Dec 2011 06:46:35 +0000 Andrea 35061@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@NYCaliMama: Good tip! I see my BIL doing that with my nephew. Sometimes he even sets an alarm to ring which means that activity is done and it is onto the next. </p> <p>A newborn must be easy in comparison now that you have experience with a toddler, too! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/reluctant-toddler#post-34986 Thu, 15 Dec 2011 20:24:14 +0000 SAHM0811 34986@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Is your LO around 2yo? Sounds exactly like my eldest at that age. She was reluctant with every day transitions, just as you described. Totally normal, yet totally frustrating for parents :( it made very little task take so much longer. </p> <p>Well Mrs.Bee and Andrea already gave great tricks/tips!! The only other thing I'd mention is that I had to keep telling her what was going to happen next so transitions between activities weren't so sudden to her. She needed a lot of time to soak it in that we were leaving the park in 5 mins, then 3 mins, then 1 minute... Etc. I also did this for playtime that turned into bathtime next. Just a lot of warnings and updates in what's next on the agenda.... That seemed to lessen the reluctancy a bit.</p> <p>You're definitely not alone! It's a stage (a long one though). My toddler is 3 and while it's a bit better now, it's taken this long for some improvement. This is why I now think newborns are easy peasy! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/reluctant-toddler#post-34985 Thu, 15 Dec 2011 20:04:39 +0000 Andrea 34985@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@tina: agreed. And sometimes telling people IRL seems kinda silly or whiney but it is OK here! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/reluctant-toddler#post-34983 Thu, 15 Dec 2011 20:02:58 +0000 mrs. wagon 34983@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wish that leaving them behind trick worked for RJ! He is SO not clingy to either of us at all, so when we pretend to leave him behind he says "BYE BYE!" and continues doing whatever he was doing. Even when we turn off all the lights. </p> <p>Well, as with most things with parenting, knowing I'm not alone (and that he's normal) makes me feel 50% better :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/reluctant-toddler#post-34971 Thu, 15 Dec 2011 19:49:33 +0000 Andrea 34971@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Bee: haha, that sounds like my bath tub trick! That one is a goodie. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/reluctant-toddler#post-34970 Thu, 15 Dec 2011 19:45:12 +0000 Mrs. Bee 34970@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Charlie is the exact same way. Sometimes we use tricks, sometimes we just have to force him. Usually Mr. Bee and I pretend like whatever we want Charlie to do is SOOOOO much fun and Charlie can't participate. That works most of the time. When he doesn't want to leave we'll go stand outside our front door and leave him in the apartment. But every day is different! A new day, new tricks. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/reluctant-toddler#post-34967 Thu, 15 Dec 2011 19:39:27 +0000 Andrea 34967@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Wow, you just described my daughter to a T. I need help, too!! I haven't found any trick that works every time except for getting her out of the bath tub. She is very clingy to me so I pretend like I am leaving her in the bath tub and go around the corner. I say nite nite bye! After a few seconds she wants me, so will happily get out of the bath. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/reluctant-toddler#post-34964 Thu, 15 Dec 2011 19:35:00 +0000 mrs. wagon 34964@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>These days it's such a battle to get RJ to do what we want... mainly get out of his crib in the morning, come downstairs to eat breakfast, get into the car to get to daycare, get into the car at daycare to go home, and of course the biggest issue is getting him upstairs to go to bed. And even once we're upstairs, getting him to get into the bath, and getting him to get out of the bath.... It's like, once we get to the place we're going he's fine, but getting him there is the big challenge.</p> <p>We have a few tricks that will work here and there (mostly letting him take a favorite toy everywhere we go) but some days it's just a nightmare. Plus we can't take his electronic toys into the bath, we don't want him to take his nice or unique toys to daycare, etc.</p> <p>Do you have any tricks to get your ornery toddler to comply with your wishes?? </p>