https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 15 May 2026 05:29:45 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/requesting-to-leave-early#post-2721257 Thu, 06 Apr 2017 22:23:31 +0000 ElbieKay 2721257@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@californiadreams: I don't think you need to explain to her why your job doesn't allow this. It doesn't matter why you need her to be reliable. Being reliable is part of her job. Nuff said.</p> <p>I highly recommend writing a contract and using it for her and/or her replacement. It can stipulate expectations such as her hours, her pay, and your rules (e.g., no visitors at your house without your consent in advance, or whatever applies to your family). I think it's much better to document things like this in writing to ensure that you are on the same page with each other. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/requesting-to-leave-early#post-2721253 Thu, 06 Apr 2017 22:12:28 +0000 californiadreams 2721253@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@youboots: I totally get it and don't think you are giving me a hard time at all - rather good ideas on how to proceed. I've just never dealt with this before, hence why I decided to post here for opinions. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/requesting-to-leave-early#post-2721242 Thu, 06 Apr 2017 21:56:53 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2721242@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Haven't read all the comments just the first few.</p> <p>I think I'm pretty lenient but I wouldn't be ok with this! The whole point is for you to be able to work, and her personal stuff (and/or other job) is interfering with your work. </p> <p>I think if you aren't up front and crystal clear about what you expect from the beginning it tends to snowball. I would let her know that this can affect your standing at work. And I would say something like we like how you are with LO, otherwise everything is fine, but we need to make sure we are totally on the same page about the schedule.. and then go on to give your expectations, let her know what you expect and what you can work with as far as unforeseen circumstances. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/requesting-to-leave-early#post-2721234 Thu, 06 Apr 2017 21:47:03 +0000 youboots 2721234@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@californiadreams: what's difficult about verbal instructions/agreements is there is nothing to look at for reference. What does not very often mean? Once every 3 months or every other week? Im not trying to give you a hard time at all. I just like very clear expectations to give to others and to get myself. If it's written there's less of a chance of confusion. I mean she is asking and not just going to run errands without your permission so to me that seems like a good sign. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/requesting-to-leave-early#post-2721233 Thu, 06 Apr 2017 21:46:02 +0000 californiadreams 2721233@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Peasinapod: The first time I said yes, and I told her it was because I was working half a day only on my first day back at work. The second time, she rescinded her request after I told her it was very last minute and I was not yet sure until we checked with our managers, and I would have to give them good reason. Today, I replied a longer message explaining that it is very hard for us to accommodate those requests, and I would have to let her know about this one as well and explained more about the nature of our jobs. I think when I see her in person I should talk about it more though and set some limits like youboots is suggesting. I also acknowledged that we can be understanding of emergencies and medical appointments. But I know the two previous late requests were not for either of these reasons. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/requesting-to-leave-early#post-2721229 Thu, 06 Apr 2017 21:40:07 +0000 californiadreams 2721229@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@youboots: I see what you mean. I guess the one thing we laid out verbally and clearly, in the interview even, was the hours she works every day (start and finish times). . I never expected her to request changing them so much And when she requested it the first day, I told her this was not something we could do often as we are expected to work regular hours at our jobs. And they are not very flexible. She said then that she understood. But I never set specific limits like you are suggesting. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/requesting-to-leave-early#post-2721223 Thu, 06 Apr 2017 21:36:56 +0000 Peasinapod 2721223@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Have you told her it is very difficult for you to accommodate her leaving early? She may not realize that it really puts you guys out . I know it's not the most professional for her to ask but if so far you've said yes she may think it's not a big deal. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/requesting-to-leave-early#post-2721219 Thu, 06 Apr 2017 21:22:53 +0000 youboots 2721219@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@californiadreams if there is nothing written then perhaps writing down your expectations and going over them with her. That's if you want to keep her.</p> <p>I remember my family having something of the sort including schedule, meals, how to communicate if I need to call in sick etc. I think more formal contracts are actually signed- but I'm not very familiar with agencies.</p> <p>If she asks and you say yes then it's not really clear. I'm not saying she is using good judgment more that the expectations are not clear. But if you tell her she can ask a week in advance no more than once a month to leave early (or never) then she knows what's ok or not?</p> <p>Just an idea. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/requesting-to-leave-early#post-2721217 Thu, 06 Apr 2017 21:17:38 +0000 californiadreams 2721217@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@youboots: No, we did not set a written contract, just a verbal one as the position is short term. But I meant what part would you think we need to amend? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/requesting-to-leave-early#post-2721215 Thu, 06 Apr 2017 21:15:16 +0000 youboots 2721215@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@californiadreams: do you have an employment agreement or any written expectations you provided her with? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/requesting-to-leave-early#post-2721204 Thu, 06 Apr 2017 21:05:15 +0000 californiadreams 2721204@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Pickle: i have. i am still always torn on what to do because i loathe the thought of firing someone and i keep thinking each little thing is not enough reason to fire someone. And my kids seems to like her now (it was a slow go with my baby at first and i still wonder if he would match better with someone else) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/requesting-to-leave-early#post-2721201 Thu, 06 Apr 2017 21:01:41 +0000 Mrs. Pickle 2721201@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Nope, not ok! I would start looking for a new nanny. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/requesting-to-leave-early#post-2721199 Thu, 06 Apr 2017 21:00:21 +0000 californiadreams 2721199@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>well for now, DH suggested i send a firm message saying we can't go on like this. And if it happens again, then we get rid of her. But this will be her chance to step up i guess. In case i have given the impression thus far that we can be super flexible. The first time she asked, i hadn't told her yet that i had arranged to do a half day my first day back, so it was fine. I was shocked she had asked though because she didn't know that yet. The second time she texted me on the weekend asking to finish early monday. i said we would let her know monday but it's hard with no notice without good reason....she replied later saying it's okay she now has a ride.....and the third is this evening asking for wednesday next week to leave early. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/requesting-to-leave-early#post-2721196 Thu, 06 Apr 2017 20:55:24 +0000 californiadreams 2721196@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@IRunForFun: yup. and asking for a day off my second week back. like with less than a week's notice i mean. i get people are entitled to days off. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/requesting-to-leave-early#post-2721194 Thu, 06 Apr 2017 20:53:34 +0000 IRunForFun 2721194@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Is this the same nanny who wanted to bring the kids to run personal errands? I think it's time to find a new nanny. Requesting to leave early 3x in 2 months is ridiculous! Very unprofessional and not to mention inconsiderate. Asking on your first day back after mat leave? Wtf!? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/requesting-to-leave-early#post-2721193 Thu, 06 Apr 2017 20:51:26 +0000 travellingbee 2721193@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Nope, not ok. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/requesting-to-leave-early#post-2721192 Thu, 06 Apr 2017 20:50:56 +0000 californiadreams 2721192@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@youboots: 4 days a week, 9 hour days. 8am to 5pm. What do you mean by amend my contract? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/requesting-to-leave-early#post-2721188 Thu, 06 Apr 2017 20:48:43 +0000 youboots 2721188@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@californiadreams: time to have a chat and amend your contract if needed. How many hours a week does she work. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/requesting-to-leave-early#post-2721184 Thu, 06 Apr 2017 20:47:29 +0000 oliviaoblivia 2721184@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Girl.<br /> 👎 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/requesting-to-leave-early#post-2721164 Thu, 06 Apr 2017 20:32:11 +0000 californiadreams 2721164@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Am i overreacting to be annoyed that my nanny has now requested to finish early 3 times since i've gone back to work less than 2 months ago? all with a zero to less than a weeks notice? the first time being my first day back at work after my mat leave ended. Am i not being flexible/understanding enough? she doesn't tell us why she needs to finish early, though i found out after it had to do with a meeting she was going to (i think it may have to do with her direct sales business she started working as a consultant for, but can't say for sure). </p> <p>I am frustrated because if i have to leave work early to accommodate her, then i either have to make up the hours by working late another day (and it is frowned upon at my job to flex our hours often, so it makes me look bad) or use my vacation hours. Or my husband can take the hours and not get paid. And we can't also flex if we have patients to see or meetings to attend. </p>