https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 29 May 2026 19:27:37 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/respite-dilemma#post-2832574 Fri, 06 Jul 2018 21:32:50 +0000 JCCovi 2832574@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Turtle: I’ll keep you updated! We are doing our training this month and are looking at late October as when we’re expecting to be certified. We are in CA as well :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/respite-dilemma#post-2832201 Tue, 03 Jul 2018 19:30:26 +0000 Mrs. Turtle 2832201@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@JCCovi: Thank you! We are doing it and I'm still feeling a little guilty but I agree the benefits (to both of them) will outweigh the costs.<br /> Also, so happy to hear when more people are becoming foster parents! I'd love to hear updates as you feel comfortable sharing, even if its by email. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/respite-dilemma#post-2832197 Tue, 03 Jul 2018 19:25:56 +0000 JCCovi 2832197@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We are in the process of getting our foster certification and we travel a lot so I’ve been thinking about respite a lot. Ultimately what I’ve decided (although it might change when I’m actually doing it) is would I do it for my bios? In this instance, I have travelled with 1 kid but not the other a couple times. The other didn’t stay with strangers per se, but it sounds like you know and trust the respite options in your area, so I think it’s fine! I have really cherished the 1 on 1 trips I’ve taken and think my kids really benefit from the attention. I bet the benefits to O will outweigh any cons for the baby and when the baby is older (if you still have him/her) maybe they’ll get a special trip of their own! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/respite-dilemma#post-2831595 Sat, 30 Jun 2018 20:16:48 +0000 Mrs. Turtle 2831595@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Anagram: Totally depends on the case. Out of country would be hard because it would be hard to get a passport, especially because you never know how long the kids will be with you. But I've heard of it being done, so not impossible. Typically we need permission to go anywhere out of our county or neighboring counties. If the trip is short enough that the child doesn't miss any scheduled visits, it's almost always approved. If they would miss visits, sometimes it still gets approved, especially if visits can be made up before or after. I took O back east for a family wedding last fall for about a week. She had longer visits before and after to make up the missed hours. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/respite-dilemma#post-2831592 Sat, 30 Jun 2018 20:05:57 +0000 Anagram 2831592@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Turtle: random question: are you allowed to take foster kids on vacations out of the country, say to a resort on an island or Canada? Or are you forced to use respite care if you leave the country? And can the foster family's family (say grandparents) sign up to be the respite carers? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/respite-dilemma#post-2831343 Fri, 29 Jun 2018 12:34:24 +0000 Mrs. Pickle 2831343@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Turtle: i’d Definitely do it then! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/respite-dilemma#post-2831225 Fri, 29 Jun 2018 07:55:24 +0000 Mrs. Turtle 2831225@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@hellocupcake: Thank you! I think it will be better for everyone.<br /> @Mrs. Pickle: It's basically what it's for. I mean, 2 trips in one month is a little more than they'd like us to use it for, but since I've never used it in 2.5 years and I lined up my own respite options, the agency is encouraging me to do it. They've always thought I was a little nuts for not using it before now.<br /> @Mrs. Tiger: Thank you! I think I will and will try not to feel bad about it!<br /> @Foodnerd81: Definitely a benefit to O if I leave the baby. She misses her alone time and is being an awesome sport about the whole thing, but it will definitely help to have some exciting adventures without carting the baby along. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/respite-dilemma#post-2831223 Fri, 29 Jun 2018 07:52:34 +0000 Mrs. Turtle 2831223@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@DesertDreams88: Yeah, we've never used it in 2.5 years of foster care, as in general I just don't think it's a natural thing kids should have to deal with (staying with strangers overnight). But at her age I don't think she'll really care. O and T were both over 6 months when they came to us, and at that point it just seemed mean. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/respite-dilemma#post-2831207 Fri, 29 Jun 2018 06:53:17 +0000 Foodnerd81 2831207@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It doesn’t sound bad to me to leave her with these other families for both trips. And it will be a good opportunity to have one on one time with O which I assume is a rarity. So there are benefits to O and the baby (less driving), not just making things easier for you. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/respite-dilemma#post-2831202 Fri, 29 Jun 2018 05:52:06 +0000 Mrs. Tiger 2831202@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My friends recently left their 1yo with their parents to take their 4yo to Disney for a week, since it would be much more enjoyable for the three of them/give the older kid some one on one time. </p> <p>I say go for it, respite care for both trips 😊 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/respite-dilemma#post-2831200 Fri, 29 Jun 2018 05:13:24 +0000 Mrs. Pickle 2831200@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Is it frowned upon to use respite care as babysitting or is that what it’s for? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/respite-dilemma#post-2831193 Fri, 29 Jun 2018 01:24:39 +0000 hellocupcake 2831193@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Not exactly the same because we’ve never done it over night...but I have left our littlest one with my parents to take our other two to a birthday party or bible study or something else that wasn’t exactly fun for babies. I wouldn’t feel bad leaving her over night with someone I trusted if it meant she would have a better time there than wherever you’re headed. </p> <p>In short: leave the baby with people you trust, sounds like it would be better for everyone involved and O will have alone time which is also fun and meaningful ❤️ </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/respite-dilemma#post-2831192 Fri, 29 Jun 2018 00:31:58 +0000 DesertDreams88 2831192@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would *definitely* use it for the camping trip for the reasons you suggested. </p> <p>I would be uncomfy about all that driving time with a baby, unless they *love* the car seat / car. The great thing about that age is that there's such little separation anxiety, I'm sure baby will be fine. I'd just give them some of baby's favorite toys, blankets, etc, to keep some consistency.</p> <p>My friend used respite care at age 7-8 months for a week and the child was sad :( So I can empathize with the downfalls of respite care but I don't think this age/stage is the same. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/respite-dilemma#post-2831190 Fri, 29 Jun 2018 00:20:54 +0000 Mrs. Turtle 2831190@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@peaches1038: O is an awesome traveler and has made those trips several times, so I'm not worried about her. But yeah, it's a ton of hours in the car for a baby and even if she sleeps the whole way, it would make our trips much harder with her along for the ride. I think respite is the "kinder" option, even if it's not what people normally do with their infants. Not the same respite family, but both equally good. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/respite-dilemma#post-2831189 Fri, 29 Jun 2018 00:11:16 +0000 peaches1038 2831189@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>That’s a lot of driving to do on your own with just O, let alone a 2 month old baby! I highly doubt the baby would “enjoy” herself either. It sounds like the families providing the respite care are wonderful, so I would do that for both trips. Is it the same family both times? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/respite-dilemma#post-2831187 Thu, 28 Jun 2018 23:39:59 +0000 Mrs. Turtle 2831187@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This isn't exactly a question most of you can relate to, but since most of my frame of reference is other foster parents at this point, I'd like to hear from some "regular" parents. </p> <p>We have two road trips coming up. The first is next week Thursday-Sunday. We will be staying with friends/family in two cities, doing a 5 hour drive Thursday, 2 hours Friday and 5 hours again Sunday. The second trip is similar driving times but we are camping. The first trip I'm by myself, the second I have my wife coming. O is coming on both trips.</p> <p>We have the option of using respite care (placement with other foster families) for the baby for either or both trips. I had planned on using it for the camping trip because I don't know what the weather will be like and bugs and everything will make it uncomfortable for a 2 month old. This trip next week though I'm torn. The trip would be WAY easier and more fun for O without the baby, but I feel super guilty. We have great families lined up who will take great care of her on each trip. Really nurturing, she'll get a ton of attention and snuggles, etc. No worries there. I just feel bad. </p> <p>Am I a terrible person if we put her in respite for both trips? Our SW pointed out that it might be good for O to know that other people sometimes take care of her, assuming she won't be staying forever. So that's a thing too. </p>