https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 15 May 2026 20:15:25 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/rie-parenting-method/page/2#post-2141168 Sun, 12 Apr 2015 11:46:54 +0000 Mrs. Oatmeal 2141168@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@blackbird: @pui: Yes! I'm reading the Janet Lansbury book now, and so far I really like it. But I came in here to chime in, and was really confused - the article posted was nothing like the book! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/rie-parenting-method/page/2#post-2141003 Sun, 12 Apr 2015 02:21:08 +0000 Arden 2141003@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm not a fan.</p> <p>I think parents have instincts for a reason. If your baby cries and you feel the urge to cuddle them, that's probably because it's what is biologically and psychologically what is best for baby's development. All of these "methods" just seem to confuse and complicate nature. I vote "go with your gut, it's probably right." </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/rie-parenting-method/page/2#post-2140708 Sat, 11 Apr 2015 14:58:19 +0000 meesker 2140708@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I do RIE light. By that I mean that I get a lot of inspiration from RIE and use it as it fits into our life, but I parent as it works for us, not according to how any book or expert says I should. It has always been important to me to treat my daughter with respect and I naturally did things like talk her through diaper changes and just talk to her open and honestly. I didn't discover RIE until she was almost 8 months old, but when I did, it made sense and was a relief. It opened my mind to the idea that my older infant might cry sometimes because she gets mad that I leave the room and that that is ok. Her feelings are ok and I don't have to babywear to go to the bathroom to prevent brain damaging tears. Such a relief! I found playtime exhausting because she demanded my presence and all the reading I'd done suggested I needed to talk to her constantly, but I am a quiet person. RIE made me realize that there was value to letting her play independently in my presence (and out of my presence) and only talking as it came naturally and had meaning.</p> <p>RIE helped me learn to trust my daughter and take some pressure off myself. It helped me cut back on TV time (because I didn't need to stop the tears at all costs. But she has plastic electronic toys (that I let her decide how or if to use), I let her have a toy during a diaper change if it means she lets me change her diaper, she has pacis that she chooses when to use or not, we use a high chair, etc.</p> <p>One area I have yet to decide how I come down on is the wording of limit setting. RIE and Janet Lansbury are big on "I will not let you . . ." I have heard the opposite that no and not statements become ineffective. I still need to sort that one out. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/rie-parenting-method/page/2#post-2140625 Sat, 11 Apr 2015 12:07:48 +0000 californiadreams 2140625@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: i didn't get through the whole article, but if it says not to reinforce good behaviours and I listen to that, then I would have to give up my license as a psychologist ;) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/rie-parenting-method/page/2#post-2140523 Sat, 11 Apr 2015 09:08:30 +0000 pui 2140523@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I haven't read the rest of the comments yet, but I am already doing Montessori and I think RIE fits in with that well. I really like the idea of being respectful of even the youngest baby. If I was dependent on a caretaker and for some reason could not easily express my needs, I would want to be treated the way RIE outlines, so for me it makes sense to treat an infant the same way. That said my own parenting style is probably mostly Montessori, some RIE and some AP, I don't go "all in" on any method.</p> <p>I think if parents thought for a second about how they treat their babies (picking them up in the middle of something without asking them, changing their diaper without telling the infant, who cannot see, what is going on, ect) they would find there are lots of ways to be more respectful. While some of it might seem silly, at the same time I think it makes perfect sense. Babies are human beings, after all.</p> <p>I highly recommend reading up on Janet Lansbury's website. I think if people actually understood RIE, more parents would find it helpful. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/rie-parenting-method#post-2140449 Sat, 11 Apr 2015 01:45:45 +0000 Bubbles 2140449@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ShootingStar: I guess they're all so different! Fwiw though (and I may well not be following the guidelines correctly - I just use what works for us), I would never deny him a hug if he wanted one, I just wouldn't necessarily swoop straight in with the hug until it was clear he was finished expressing his frustration and ready to move on. If he was melting down in his highchair I would take him straight out though. My DS is only 15 months so really we're only just getting started with working out how to manage behaviour etc! :happy: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/rie-parenting-method#post-2140350 Fri, 10 Apr 2015 20:46:14 +0000 ShootingStar 2140350@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Bubbles: It's funny, I started out trying to parent like that and it just doesn't work on my kid. Almost all of the time when he's crying he wants me to hug and comfort him. Lately he's been having meltdown in the high chair, and he'll scream and scream until I pull him next to me and then he'll put his head on my shoulder and calm down. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/rie-parenting-method#post-2140313 Fri, 10 Apr 2015 20:21:17 +0000 loveisstrange 2140313@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was reading the article going "wtf is this nonesense?!" but honestly, what @blackbird posted is honestly how I naturally parent for the most part. Sooo.... eh. I dunno. I subscribe to the "survival" method of parenting. lol! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/rie-parenting-method#post-2140293 Fri, 10 Apr 2015 20:08:41 +0000 Mrs. Lion 2140293@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@JoyfulKiwi: haha touche ;) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/rie-parenting-method#post-2140264 Fri, 10 Apr 2015 19:48:17 +0000 mrsrugbee 2140264@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We do a lot of these things at home, just cause it made sense (regular cups, self-feeding, talking to DD respectfully in the way you would an adult) but it sounds so hokey hearing the philosophy described in its entirety.</p> <p>I will not be calling myself an educarer or project unrealistic behavioural expectations on my 15 mo. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/rie-parenting-method#post-2140262 Fri, 10 Apr 2015 19:47:04 +0000 Grace 2140262@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Truth Bombs: @Mrs. Lemon-Lime: Haha! I will admit, that as with every good thing, you have to know when to stop. ;) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/rie-parenting-method#post-2140233 Fri, 10 Apr 2015 19:21:07 +0000 JoyfulKiwi 2140233@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Lion: I agree about the sensationalism in the article. But an article about a parenting "trend" that mainly revolves around treating your baby more like a person &amp; less like a "baby" would be boring right?! :silly: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/rie-parenting-method#post-2140228 Fri, 10 Apr 2015 19:18:39 +0000 JoyfulKiwi 2140228@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: yep, what @2littlepumpkins: posted was what I meant. :happy: i should have typed motherese instead of baby talk, since I was thinking more of the tone/rhythm in my comment (although that rhythm is easier to do when you're using "cutesy" words) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/rie-parenting-method#post-2140096 Fri, 10 Apr 2015 16:06:07 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2140096@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@2littlepumpkins: thanks for posting that for me. I had not heard of Motherese before, which isn't bad at all. When I think of baby talk it's part Motherese in terms of tone and rhythm, and it's also the stuff on the do not list: poor grammar and made up words. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/rie-parenting-method#post-2140083 Fri, 10 Apr 2015 15:48:50 +0000 catomd00 2140083@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@blackbird: yeah, this is where I am with it. I'm new to the style, but that article was totally beyond what I thought RIE was, which I have learned via Lansbury on facebook lol. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/rie-parenting-method#post-2140077 Fri, 10 Apr 2015 15:37:59 +0000 Mrs Green Grass 2140077@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The one thing I liked: talking to your kid like an adult. Using full sentences and rich language...</p> <p>But no mobile because the baby didn't make the decision? Umm...it's a baby. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/rie-parenting-method#post-2140076 Fri, 10 Apr 2015 15:35:05 +0000 Mrs. Lion 2140076@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Bubbles: The article is basically an huge exaggeration. The way it is written it makes it seem like RIE is much more extreme than it really is. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/rie-parenting-method#post-2140070 Fri, 10 Apr 2015 15:29:03 +0000 Bubbles 2140070@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@2littlepumpkins: thank you :heart: Ok I have read the article now, seems like they're taking the piss a little :wink: Like Blackbird said, Janet Lansbury is your woman if you want to learn more about it! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/rie-parenting-method#post-2140066 Fri, 10 Apr 2015 15:19:54 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2140066@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Bubbles: well said! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/rie-parenting-method#post-2140065 Fri, 10 Apr 2015 15:19:12 +0000 Bubbles 2140065@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I haven't read this article yet, but as others have mentioned, I'm a big fan of RIE as framed by Janet Lansbury. Re the not soothing thing, I'm not sure how it's been described in this article, but from my reading I don't think it means ignoring your child or refusing to offer them comfort when they are sick or hurt. The way I use it is that if my son is crying because he's e.g frustrated, I will absolutely be there with him to support him through his feelings. I will sit by him and put my hand on him and acknowledge how he's feeling, and be available for a cuddle as soon as he's ready. But I won't do anything to try and cut his tantrum short - eg shhing, distracting, coaxing him to stop crying etc. I want him to know that it's ok to feel strong emotions.<br /> Maybe I need to read the article to understand why the perception is negative! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/rie-parenting-method#post-2140059 Fri, 10 Apr 2015 15:10:47 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2140059@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: I know you weren't asking me but this article seems in line with what I think you were hearing...<br /> <a href="http://www.kidspot.com.au/Baby-Baby-development-Motherese-The-power-of-talking-to-your-baby+7070+44+article.htm" rel="nofollow">http://www.kidspot.com.au/Baby-Baby-development-Motherese-The-power-of-talking-to-your-baby+7070+44+article.htm</a></p> <p>Basically, baby talk helps babies in the beginning, but should be phased out moving into toddlerhood. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/rie-parenting-method#post-2140046 Fri, 10 Apr 2015 15:01:29 +0000 Torchwood 2140046@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Truth Bombs: Totally agree! Laughing/smiling when tickled is a reflex that you can NOT control, no matter how you actually feel about it. I don't mind a little quick tickle occasionally, but I HATE being pinned where I can't stop them. DH has been made well aware of this, and I've reminded him when he was playing with my small cousin. I plan to always stop if I'm playing with LO and she says to, whether it's tickling or something else. She'll learn that saying no/stop does get results, and that she can trust us to respect her boundaries. It's her body, and I don't want to teach her that there's no point in telling someone no when they're doing something she doesn't like, because they won't listen anyway. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/rie-parenting-method#post-2140023 Fri, 10 Apr 2015 14:47:19 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2140023@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@JoyfulKiwi: please share more about baby talk. I always heard baby talk slows their speech development. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/rie-parenting-method#post-2140004 Fri, 10 Apr 2015 14:27:16 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2140004@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@birdofafeather: I don't think it's about not rocking your sick kid personally. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/rie-parenting-method#post-2140001 Fri, 10 Apr 2015 14:25:28 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2140001@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@JoyfulKiwi: agreed!</p> <p>I don't follow any one style strictly, but a lot of RIE stuff has worked for us. And I've seen quite a few kids who went through a stricter RIE program who really thrived and did well. </p> <p>Eta- of course parents choose the program right for them so maybe those who it didn't work for just dropped out but there weren't too many who seemed to struggle...it was a play based RIE based program.</p> <p>And really when I think of RIE, celebrities have absolutely nothing to do with it. It's been around awhile.</p> <p>@blackbird: thanks for that! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/rie-parenting-method#post-2139986 Fri, 10 Apr 2015 14:16:15 +0000 HTownMom 2139986@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Lion: yes reading this the whole time I was thinking this is basic Montessori with a crazy add of no paci/tickling/crying intervation! </p> <p>Doing CIO is hard enough during a bed time, but to do that all the time is too much! Also kids love boob, bottle, paci, lovey, so why deny them!</p> <p>I think is all really boils down to whatever works for you as parents! Just do your thing and don't try to name it or categorize! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/rie-parenting-method#post-2139974 Fri, 10 Apr 2015 14:06:15 +0000 Mrs. Lion 2139974@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@blackbird: That article seemed very sensationalized to me. I looked up RIE about a week ago because I had never heard of it, and I LOVE Janet Lansbury. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/rie-parenting-method#post-2139959 Fri, 10 Apr 2015 13:53:09 +0000 JoyfulKiwi 2139959@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've been reading about/aware of RIE since before I even got pregnant with my son (I'm in early childhood education and got a reference). I'm sold on a LOT of the principles, but some just didn't work for us. I felt like talking to/explaining things to my infant really was respectful &amp; helpful, but I also know that "baby talk" is useful too. That article stinks; it made RIE all sound like crazy junk.</p> <p>Thanks @blackbird: for the screenshot! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/rie-parenting-method#post-2139942 Fri, 10 Apr 2015 13:42:43 +0000 blackbird 2139942@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm familiar with the concept per Janet Lansbury-not the "celeb" version. I am on board with respecting my child as a person and not diminishing her feelings. That's about my extent of the knowledge of it!</p> <p>This is very different than what's in that article! </p> [attach=618/15/nmltex.338x600.image.jpg] https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/rie-parenting-method#post-2139859 Fri, 10 Apr 2015 12:36:07 +0000 NovBaby1112 2139859@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@birdofafeather: word. Comforting and rocking your baby/toddler to sleep is one of the greatest joys in being a parent.</p> <p>Agree with others that I don't like parenting styles...it's great to get ideas from some, but following a philosophy to a T is a bit ridiculous. </p>