https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 18 May 2026 02:21:46 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/rough-day-what-is-hard-about-being-a-parent/page/2#post-1610658 Sat, 03 May 2014 11:12:56 +0000 MamaMoose 1610658@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@wonderstruck: I'll reply on your wall since it seems you have something to say to me that you chose to delete. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/rough-day-what-is-hard-about-being-a-parent/page/2#post-1610618 Sat, 03 May 2014 10:24:26 +0000 wonderstruck 1610618@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Nevermind...I want this post to stay on track. I'm just having a really hard time overlooking the unsupportive comments. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/rough-day-what-is-hard-about-being-a-parent/page/2#post-1610611 Sat, 03 May 2014 10:18:12 +0000 wonderstruck 1610611@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm sorry that you're going through a rough time, and that you're getting un-supportive responses, which frankly I find to be completely unkind. Yeah, like someone asking people what's hard about being a parent is somehow offensive when there's about a million posts on here from parents having a bad/hard day. I'm sorry people are looking for an argument over nothing.</p> <p>I miss being able to spend money on myself without having any guilt about it! Clothes, vacations, makeup, whatever. Vacations in general are a huge one for me - planning a vacation with a baby or toddler is a headache. Either you're finding a babysitter for them, possibly having mom-guilt about it, and it's a lot harder to justify the expense, or you take them with you, in which case you can't do anything once bedtime hits because you're stuck in the hotel room, packing for them is so hard, trying to schedule your flights around nap time and praying there's not a meltdown, only going to kid-friendly places, etc. So I think you and your DH seriously deserve/need a vacation, and I truly hope you get your BFP soon. So sorry to hear about AF coming, my heart goes out to you! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/rough-day-what-is-hard-about-being-a-parent/page/2#post-1610581 Sat, 03 May 2014 09:45:07 +0000 pinkcupcake 1610581@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I miss quick trips to the store or roaming the aisles of target, slowly and leisurely, without having to entertain a curious toddler who wants to pull every item off the shelf and attack passerbys with a toilet plunger. </p> <p>I miss the ability to sleep in. I used to be the girl that set her alarm for 2pm on Saturdays ;) </p> <p>I miss going out to eat at a restaurant and having it be a leisurely, relaxing activity. Going out to eat now usually gives me indigestion :P</p> <p>And this is kinda random, but I miss going on power walks! My LO hates the stroller so when I take her out for a walk, I isually have to carry her or let her walk. Either way, it's hard to go for a brisk walk. </p> <p>And to the OP: I'm sorry you're having a rough day. I hope your baby is *right* around the corner. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/rough-day-what-is-hard-about-being-a-parent/page/2#post-1610532 Sat, 03 May 2014 08:48:52 +0000 Applesandbananas 1610532@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I miss just being lazy.</p> <p>I've taken LO to daycare on a vacation day and cleaned out my DVR. It was wonderful. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/rough-day-what-is-hard-about-being-a-parent/page/2#post-1610519 Sat, 03 May 2014 08:34:45 +0000 Mrs. Oatmeal 1610519@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@AmeliaBedilia: I'm so sorry. The one year mark was a tough one for me, and I know I wrote a few blog posts about things I was grateful for/would miss once finally pregnant. FWIW, we got pregnant after 23 months TTC... One year isn't a sentence!!</p> <p>As far as what I miss...I think it's the leisure time. Taking a twenty minute shower and shaving my legs whenever I like. Spending an hour at the bookstore browsing. Going for coffee on a Saturday morning just because I feel like it.</p> <p>And I know that hearing these challenges doesn't make IF any easier, but at least it can help you get through the day. I totally understand. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/rough-day-what-is-hard-about-being-a-parent/page/2#post-1610516 Sat, 03 May 2014 08:27:54 +0000 MamaMoose 1610516@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Guys I don't think @looch: was trying to be mean. I think her point is that sometimes there are mixed messages about what IF members want to hear from parents. There have been a number of threads here where IF members have said how insensitive it is for parents to complain to them about how hard parenting is. But if someone saw this thread they might think "oh, ameliabedilia wanted to hear the bad parts of parenting, next time my IRL friend talks about her IF I will tell her she should be happy because she doesn't have to deal with XYZ (getting up early, losing time with her husband, etc)" which I think you all would generally agree is in fact NOT the right thing to say. By the time @looch: said she didn't miss anything about pre parenting days she was already part of the thread and probably just wanted to answer the original question (which she did honestly) and move on. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/rough-day-what-is-hard-about-being-a-parent/page/2#post-1610500 Sat, 03 May 2014 08:01:18 +0000 pmrlady 1610500@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch I think that was a very insensitive comment that you don't miss anything, while that may be true and there are many parents who would say the same thing, you didn't have to post that. You are basically rubbing it in to OP's face that there's nothing better than having kids and you are saying this to someone who has been trying to have a kid for a year now and is not successful.<br /> And your previous comment about you posting something offensive to the IF board is not analogous, OP is not posting this on a parenting thread, it is a TTC support thread meant to SUPPORT people who are having difficulty TTC, not bring them down... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/rough-day-what-is-hard-about-being-a-parent/page/2#post-1609339 Fri, 02 May 2014 15:15:47 +0000 jedeve 1609339@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: I think it might be hurtful to the OP to point out how life with children is better than without. I think she is looking for things to appreciate about her life without a child right now. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/rough-day-what-is-hard-about-being-a-parent/page/2#post-1609235 Fri, 02 May 2014 14:30:04 +0000 sandy 1609235@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@AmeliaBedilia: big hugs lady! TTC is so hard and reaching the 1 year mark must be so difficult. Hang in there and I'm cheering for you!</p> <p>I miss how absolutely carefree I was before having LO. And just being able to do whatever whenever you wanted. If we had a free weekend coming up we could just make plans for a road trip or weekend away. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/rough-day-what-is-hard-about-being-a-parent/page/2#post-1609229 Fri, 02 May 2014 14:26:28 +0000 Raindrop 1609229@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: Fair enough. :D </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/rough-day-what-is-hard-about-being-a-parent/page/2#post-1609214 Fri, 02 May 2014 14:20:48 +0000 looch 1609214@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Raindrop: It's possible that there is a misunderstanding, I went back and read again. I think both questions were asked, honestly.</p> <p>But you know what, if I answer the question truthfully, there is really nothing I miss about my pre-child days. Things that are important to me remain so and I try to find time for them. I became a parent later in life, so I lived a good, full life. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/rough-day-what-is-hard-about-being-a-parent/page/2#post-1609203 Fri, 02 May 2014 14:16:49 +0000 Mrs. Polish 1609203@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Nothing. Being a parent is really easy. Ha. Just kidding.</p> <p>Running out of wine is hard. Really hard. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/rough-day-what-is-hard-about-being-a-parent/page/2#post-1609193 Fri, 02 May 2014 14:13:11 +0000 Raindrop 1609193@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: I just wanted to point out that there may have been a misunderstanding. OP didn't ask about what makes parenting hard... she specficially asked what things we "missed" about our pre-childern days.</p> <p>"I am trying to feel better about the situation by thinking of the hard things about being a parent. What things do you miss about your pre-child days?"</p> <p>Agree she did say the first line in the quote but her actual question was quite different. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/rough-day-what-is-hard-about-being-a-parent/page/2#post-1609178 Fri, 02 May 2014 14:08:33 +0000 plantains 1609178@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: I understand that you are feeling a bit defensive, but like others have said mums are voluntarily posting things that make parenting hard. It doesn't diminish the joy of the experience, but I think we can all agree that being a parent while rewarding isn't easy and there is something to be said for enjoying the things that are more difficult post kids so that when the kid does arrive one doesn't have regrets. </p> <p>OP, I am so sorry you are dealing with this, I have had lots of loved ones deal with IF and it was so tough. Every single one of them got their kiddo on the end though, so please don't give up! As for what is hard about parenting, the 24/7 aspect of it is tough. Especially in the throes of the terrible twos. I miss having wine fuelled 4 hour dinners with DH. These days we either take LO and get in an out in under 90 mins or get a babysitter and clockwatch our way through dinner so we don't bankrupt ourselves! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/rough-day-what-is-hard-about-being-a-parent/page/2#post-1609155 Fri, 02 May 2014 13:57:48 +0000 Cherrybee 1609155@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@AmeliaBedilia: I'm so sorry you're having a rough time of it. Ugh, TTC is completely brutal and getting to that one year mark must be really, really hard. FWIW, I really don't think that 1 year = never. Once upon a time, I may have thought that but I have seen so many of the Bees here get their long awaited baby after that amount of time and much longer. </p> <p>Oh and if it helps, I miss lie ins so much!!! Like sooooo much! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/rough-day-what-is-hard-about-being-a-parent/page/2#post-1609149 Fri, 02 May 2014 13:55:33 +0000 swurlygurl 1609149@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so sorry - sending you lots of love! :heart: </p> <p>I miss my 'me time'. Getting to do whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted to do it. I definitely didn't understand the freedom that I had before! This included: shopping, housework, cooking/baking, reading, showering, etc. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/rough-day-what-is-hard-about-being-a-parent/page/2#post-1609120 Fri, 02 May 2014 13:41:13 +0000 mrbee 1609120@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Can we keep the discussion focused on the original topic raised? Please keep in mind that it was posted to the TTC Support board. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/rough-day-what-is-hard-about-being-a-parent/page/2#post-1609080 Fri, 02 May 2014 13:26:43 +0000 looch 1609080@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Trailmix: @MrsMcD: you're certainly entitled to your opinions, just as I am of mine. </p> <p>I just don't feel like me saying that I miss the days of being able to sleep in helps anyone else cope with their situation. If someone cares to elaborate, that's fine, otherwise, we can just move on. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/rough-day-what-is-hard-about-being-a-parent#post-1609079 Fri, 02 May 2014 13:26:12 +0000 rachiecakes 1609079@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>(((hugs)))<br /> One thing I miss is not having to pay a sitter if I want to, get my nails done, shop, go out with friends, see a movie in the theatre, get a haircut. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/rough-day-what-is-hard-about-being-a-parent#post-1609074 Fri, 02 May 2014 13:22:46 +0000 deactivated_account 1609074@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: It seems that moms are voluntarily posting their gripes. I don't see how someone needs to get offended by the question or the responses. OP is just looking for a little support during a tough time. I also don't see any relevance between this tread and any possible thread posted in the IF boards. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/rough-day-what-is-hard-about-being-a-parent#post-1609071 Fri, 02 May 2014 13:21:21 +0000 Trailmix 1609071@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: harsh much? If you don't like a thread, don't respond. Just like anyone else here wouldn't have to respond if they didn't want to empathize and make the OP feel better. Sheesh. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/rough-day-what-is-hard-about-being-a-parent#post-1609069 Fri, 02 May 2014 13:19:24 +0000 Trailmix 1609069@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so sorry :sad: For what it's worth, I know soooo many people who tried for longer than a year and it did eventually happen. Don't give up hope!</p> <p>As for what I miss? Sooooo much. I miss being able to go shopping with my friends, going out to dinner with DH, sleeping, not doing endless loads of dishes and laundry, sleeping, being able to do anything spontaneously, going on vacation, working out daily, liking my body, having a clean apartment, sitting on the couch and watching tv...my kids are my world but god damn, your life changes so much. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/rough-day-what-is-hard-about-being-a-parent#post-1609067 Fri, 02 May 2014 13:19:08 +0000 looch 1609067@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@bluestriped bee: yes, it was necessary, because it's about awareness. If you (general) want the same respect when you try to raise awareness, you have to accept when you hit someone else's nerve and they point it out to you. FWIW, I find pretty much everything about being a parent challenging, but I wouldn't trade it for my single, childless days. I went through a lot in my life to get where I am and I am thankful that every single day.</p> <p>I've made missteps on this site before and it was pointed out to me. I accepted it and apologized for it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/rough-day-what-is-hard-about-being-a-parent#post-1609053 Fri, 02 May 2014 13:16:05 +0000 BSB 1609053@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: The OP posted this to the TTC support board. It wasn't posted on a parenting board. </p> <p>You don't have to apologize but you can give us some respect in understanding or not understanding the difficulty of IF. </p> <p>I respect your views but was it really necessary to comment on this thread? Come on, the OP is having a rough day. You mad her feel like crap for creating this thread.</p> <p>ETA: I'm thread jacking and I apologize to the OP for taking this thread in another direction. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/rough-day-what-is-hard-about-being-a-parent#post-1609043 Fri, 02 May 2014 13:12:29 +0000 californiadreams 1609043@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>not having a moment to myself from the SECOND i wake up, because i usually get woken up by LO. Although I have adjusted for the most part, so what i find myself missing lately is that DH and I used to wake up every morning and just spend a good 10-15 minutes cuddling before we got out of bed. We rarely get that in the mornings anymore - our alarm goes off or LO wakes up, and we have to get up as quickly as possible becuase there is so much to do before leaving to work. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/rough-day-what-is-hard-about-being-a-parent#post-1609027 Fri, 02 May 2014 13:08:04 +0000 looch 1609027@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@bluestriped bee: you and I both know it would be unacceptable and I would get strong reactions if I posted a thread in the IF boards where I bemoaned my situation at the expense of those with infertility. Life isn't always a bed of roses, but I am not going to apologize or feel badly about what I am missing from my life before my son was born.</p> <p>Respect goes both ways.</p> <p>eta: I've been reading the IF boards in an attempt to better understand what everyone's going through there to see if there is something to help us all bridge the divide, but you know what, it's comments like this one that make me feel as though you all don't want the divide bridged. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/rough-day-what-is-hard-about-being-a-parent#post-1609013 Fri, 02 May 2014 13:05:03 +0000 BSB 1609013@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: Sorry, but I find your comment kinda offensive. You are fine to express yours, but I'm going to express mine in response to your comment. </p> <p>Think of it this way, when people have kids and the complain about some parenting issue, some people like think of the positives of having a child (like, at least, they have one).</p> <p>For people with IF, we sometimes like to think of the positives of not having a child. It's sometimes what helps us get through our rough day. </p> <p>It's a certain way to cope with whatever situation you are going through (let it be a bad parenting day or for us... a lack of a child or insert whatever issue here. ) </p> <p>Anyone who commented here wasn't forced to comment. If you don't feel like commenting, then you don't have to.</p> <p>ETA: I'm responding to this in order to show support for the crappy emotions and thoughts that people with IF have to go through. Especially to the OP. IF is hard and so I don't see anything wrong with this thread.</p> <p>ETAA: To others that are reading, I totally understand that parenting is hard and I'm not saying that you can't complain. Not at all. I get it. HB is a parenting forum where you can post (and vent) about anything. I love HB and all that I'm learning. That's why I'm still here. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/rough-day-what-is-hard-about-being-a-parent#post-1608915 Fri, 02 May 2014 12:43:05 +0000 Raindrop 1608915@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I miss doing my hobby as often as I use to. I sew and I never knew how dangerous that was until I had a kid! :)</p> <p>Also eating out on a moments notice use to be nice when I didn't feel like cooking moments before dinner and would say f* it let's eat out... totally can't do that anymore. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/rough-day-what-is-hard-about-being-a-parent#post-1608884 Fri, 02 May 2014 12:35:56 +0000 BSB 1608884@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@AmeliaBedilia: Hugs!! Yeah, the one year mark of TTC was really difficult for me. </p>