https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 10 May 2026 04:25:20 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/rule-follower-breaker-questioner-ignorer/page/2#post-2772215 Thu, 07 Sep 2017 15:47:17 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2772215@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Maysprout: well put! </p> <p>@yoursilverlining: I don't consider most of the parenting rules to be actual rules. :silly: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/rule-follower-breaker-questioner-ignorer#post-2772156 Thu, 07 Sep 2017 13:18:21 +0000 Maysprout 2772156@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I like the big picture rules for living as a community. </p> <p>But I had one roommate that made me realize that the least fun, most rule oriented way of behaving doesn't always mean correct or most successful way to go. I do have a tendency to follow rules and want to respect others but at the same time there's a point where I don't feel the need to adhere to others neurotic view of perfection </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/rule-follower-breaker-questioner-ignorer#post-2772109 Thu, 07 Sep 2017 11:55:57 +0000 snowjewelz 2772109@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Mostly a rule follower but I do question the rules esp if I can come up with a better/faster way! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/rule-follower-breaker-questioner-ignorer#post-2771319 Fri, 01 Sep 2017 23:28:51 +0000 yoursilverlining 2771319@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm at heart a rule ignorer but I'm also socially and politically savvy so that means I generally follow the rules at work and in society. I have zero trouble generally following the rules but I don't do it because I feel I should or have to. I also don't feel any moral discomfort or internal conflict when I don't follow the rules because I'm not a rule follower and why should I follow a rule that doesn't make sense or is inherently unfair/wrong? </p> <p>Im generally flummoxed by complete rule followers in parenting, especially when they obviously are only looking at parenting in 2017 in America as their rule guide. I just don't deal in absolutes so easily. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/rule-follower-breaker-questioner-ignorer#post-2771298 Fri, 01 Sep 2017 20:18:12 +0000 lady baltimore 2771298@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am a mix of a rule questioner and rule ignorer. </p> <p>The label of ignorer resonates with me because I don't have the instinct to seek out the "rule" in a situation - I would rather just follow my instincts, and who cares what other people (including, in theory, those in positions of authority) think?</p> <p>I also have always had a hard time conforming to an expectation if I don't understand and agree with the reasoning behind it (yes, I was a treat in school :silly: ), so I think that makes me a questioner. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/rule-follower-breaker-questioner-ignorer#post-2771277 Fri, 01 Sep 2017 18:05:37 +0000 looch 2771277@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@bluestriped bee: Haha! I am a very cautious driver, I get so bent when people disobey the drop off and dismissal rules. It's sooooo rude. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/rule-follower-breaker-questioner-ignorer#post-2771248 Fri, 01 Sep 2017 16:16:35 +0000 BSB 2771248@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: Haha. I reread my first response. It sounds like I'm an asshole in the car. I'm not. Just annoyances that any I think anyone would have. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/rule-follower-breaker-questioner-ignorer#post-2771245 Fri, 01 Sep 2017 15:51:33 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2771245@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am mostly a rule follower. I question, but who has time to really understand the effects of ALL rules? I know from working in a couple different fields, and from seeing what my dh deals with at his job, that there will always be complainers about rules who think they know better.. so even though I might complain to dh or a friend or my mom or whatever, I mostly try to leave things to the experts. That's not to say I'm perfect or I never do my own thing either.. I don't think anyone follows every single rule perfectly. </p> <p>And as for the speeding thing.. I don't speed a lot, but if I went the exact speed limit around here I feel like that could be more dangerous? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/rule-follower-breaker-questioner-ignorer#post-2771182 Fri, 01 Sep 2017 12:20:53 +0000 Littlebit7 2771182@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'll add that I actually think a lot of people choose not to follow a lot of rules. Particularly rules that pertain to the idea that someone else's time/money/space is more important than another's. This might get lumped in with manners or societal norms. I'd like to think that most people follow them, but in my experience in day to day life, they don't. . For instance, rules of the road "well I'm in a hurry so I'm just going to do whatever I need so I can get there on time" speeding, running a light, not stopping a stop sign, cutting people off. . Or waiting in line "I'm too busy so I'll skip or cut the line". Or phones. It clearly states no cell phone use in a certain area or train car "but my phone call is very important so I can make it". I mean, you name it. I feel a lot of people walk around with blinders on oblivious to the world around them. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/rule-follower-breaker-questioner-ignorer#post-2771160 Fri, 01 Sep 2017 11:19:07 +0000 looch 2771160@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@bluestriped bee: that comforts me to hear, lol!</p> <p>@808love: I agree with you on most of the rules that you're not following. I don't think the majority of them really impact anyone other than your immediate family. I am okay with the hugging students if they initiate, I think that's okay in our district. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/rule-follower-breaker-questioner-ignorer#post-2771159 Fri, 01 Sep 2017 11:16:53 +0000 GoGoSnoGirl 2771159@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm largely a rule follower, but will ignore some, like turning into a business that requires me to cross a solid yellow line as long as no cars are coming &amp; I can complete the turn safely. However, I am a hypocrite because I think everyone else should generally follow all rules. 😜 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/rule-follower-breaker-questioner-ignorer#post-2771154 Fri, 01 Sep 2017 11:06:45 +0000 JerricaBenton 2771154@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@SweetiePie: oh man! That would be tough for me! I think dh was more of a rule breaker as a kid/teen but owning a business and dealing with clients (and being around me lol) has helped him see the rule following light :silly: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/rule-follower-breaker-questioner-ignorer#post-2771148 Fri, 01 Sep 2017 10:40:35 +0000 SweetiePie 2771148@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@JerricaBenton: This is me exactly. My husband is wayyyy more a questioner/ignorer for himself but he thinks veryone else should be a follower - and it causes a lot of disagreements between us :silly: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/rule-follower-breaker-questioner-ignorer#post-2771147 Fri, 01 Sep 2017 10:38:48 +0000 BSB 2771147@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: In the school line, I would wait my turn. If I'm late, it's my own fault so I would just have to get to get to work late. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/rule-follower-breaker-questioner-ignorer#post-2771144 Fri, 01 Sep 2017 10:31:45 +0000 808love 2771144@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Let's see. Mainly informal rules, norms. I married late, breastfed long, started preschool and potty training early. Not condoning stealing and such. Just exceptions within reason. The rule was don't cosleep. We couldn't sleep otherwise so I did. The rule was don't hug your students. They hug me so I hug back. I am supposed to give my daughter five fruits and vegetables a day. I don't even eat that much. I am supposed to wear a helmet when I ski but I don't. I am not supposed to talk about my faith or personal life and get off topic. They kids say they believe in Jesus and I say I do too. I'm not supposed to go to the bathroom during the class time. I go and pee fast...45 seconds later I'm back. There are a lot of rules I follow but I just pick and choose with full responsibility and judgement. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/rule-follower-breaker-questioner-ignorer#post-2771140 Fri, 01 Sep 2017 10:23:05 +0000 looch 2771140@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@808love: Just curious, in what instances do you make your own rules? In your family, or in instances where it impacts others too?</p> <p>I think we're in a unique situation in my son's school, in that the admin really values people to question and give their input. We are basically a start up school with only 3 grades right now so I think there aren't a lot of established practices to deal with. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/rule-follower-breaker-questioner-ignorer#post-2771139 Fri, 01 Sep 2017 10:18:44 +0000 looch 2771139@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@bluestriped bee: I am curious about what you wrote about being in the car....speeding aside, do you think you're the kind of person that follows the rules in say, a drop off situation at a school? If you are late, and your options are either to go through the line and wait at the end or cut off all the parents that patiently waited, what do you do? </p> <p>No snark at all intended, just trying to understand if my expectations are off. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/rule-follower-breaker-questioner-ignorer#post-2771138 Fri, 01 Sep 2017 10:15:43 +0000 808love 2771138@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I grew up with authority that didn't always make decisions that were wise, in my opinion. I stifled disagreement for many many years to get along. Now I have come into my own and do my own thing i. e. think for myself and am happy. I own outcomes I can take full responsibility for in the situation. It is my fault not the rule's fault if things go wrong. I don't question too much. I know why it is in place. I make my own rules. Not rude or harmful to others but just not willing to stifle who I am for other's sake, generally speaking. Authority and rules shift over time. I just figure out what I stand for and value and do that. And yes at work, teachers who question authority are not the norm and get a lot of flack. We need more teacher voice/questions/solutions to be heard. Many educational decisions are made by admin. That is why we either need to become the admin and leave the class, work for supportive admin or have/create a venue/process to get more questions/solutions answered in a valued and respectful way. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/rule-follower-breaker-questioner-ignorer#post-2771129 Fri, 01 Sep 2017 09:50:03 +0000 JerricaBenton 2771129@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Adira: I agree! And I also feel like societal rule following leads to a happier, friendlier, better functioning society. Sadly I must live in a more rude than most area, because one thing I notice is that the average customer is so rude/thinks the rules don't apply to them that most customer service workers begin interactions from a defensive semi-rude place because they're expecting you to be rude to them! I think that's awful! Purely anecdotal of course, but I feel like the attitude of 'societal norms in behavior' and 'those kinds of rules don't apply to me' attitudes are very prevalent these days!. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/rule-follower-breaker-questioner-ignorer#post-2771127 Fri, 01 Sep 2017 09:44:04 +0000 BSB 2771127@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm a rule follower now and sometimes a perfectionist. Oh, in the car, I speed and get pissed off at drivers, but not road rage type stuff. </p> <p>Of course, back in college and high school, I didn't always follow the rules. Now as a mom, I'm set in my ways to follow the rules. </p> <p>I will break from instructions in creative/artistic settings like those paint and wine places.</p> <p>ETA: Oh, I also don't like getting in trouble. I also trust people in authority or in uniform (cops, doctors, etc.) Although, it does annoy/anger me to read about cops (or even doctors) who think they are above the law. If I saw a cop, I would trust them and do everything they told me to do. I admit, I sit here as asian woman. I know privilege. (I don't want to get political but I feel I have to say this.)</p> <p>Oh, Trump is not authority in my book. :silly: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/rule-follower-breaker-questioner-ignorer#post-2771126 Fri, 01 Sep 2017 09:44:03 +0000 looch 2771126@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Adira: I don't think I assumed that, I meant that it's unfortunate that questioning isn't valued. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/rule-follower-breaker-questioner-ignorer#post-2771123 Fri, 01 Sep 2017 09:27:47 +0000 Adira 2771123@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: Not all people are natural rule questioners - just look at the poll results!</p> <p>I'm just naturally a rule following. There's comfort in knowing the rules and following them. And it gives me anxiety when other people don't follow rules. For example, I had friends who drank before they were 21 and that gave me a lot of anxiety when I was younger. Now that I'm older, I can totally see that the arbitrary age of 21 is silly, but my inclination is to follow rules and assume they are there for a reason. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/rule-follower-breaker-questioner-ignorer#post-2771122 Fri, 01 Sep 2017 09:21:51 +0000 looch 2771122@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@DesertDreams88: That is too bad, that questioning isn't valued. I don't think I could function in that kind of organization.</p> <p>When it comes to office policies, there are those that cannot be breached, no matter what the reason. Others are not so clear, but the only way we make progress is to refine. And that only comes with questioning.</p> <p>I really do believe that most people in society ultimately do follow rules. Now, of course some people don't, but they impact the ability of others to function and I do not like when that happens. As an example, I follow the drop off and pick up procedures at my son's school. When someone flouts the rules, it tells me that they think their time is more important than mine, and I get angry. I complain and it takes time away from the admin of actually teaching the children. It's not ideal, but I am not going to get into it with them in person, you know? I wish people would just think about the knock on effects of their behavior. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/rule-follower-breaker-questioner-ignorer#post-2771120 Fri, 01 Sep 2017 09:12:17 +0000 DesertDreams88 2771120@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: When I said "rules" I was also thinking societal norms but that wasn't clear so maybe people didn't interpret it that way. It was just a light-hearted post to stimulate some reflection and discussion. It's been something I've been thinking a lot about at my workplace, because there are definitely people in all 4 categories, and, questioning rules/norms/policies is NOT valued. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/rule-follower-breaker-questioner-ignorer#post-2771115 Fri, 01 Sep 2017 08:32:33 +0000 JerricaBenton 2771115@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm a SAHM (although i also was a rule folllower when i worked) so I'm thinking about societal rules in general (traffic, waiting in lines, walking on the right, not lighting fireworks if they're illegal in your area, general rules of polite society) and also school type rules. If my daughter's school puts out a 'rule' for parking or dates to have things in, etc. I follow these rules to contribute to the order of things. From what I observe, there are countless people who absolutely do not follow these types of rules. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/rule-follower-breaker-questioner-ignorer#post-2771111 Fri, 01 Sep 2017 08:15:22 +0000 looch 2771111@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@DesertDreams88: We all make our own rules, I guess I don't understand what you're really trying to get at...I mean, I have rules that I impose on my son, they only apply to our family. </p> <p>I tend to follow the rules as I've seen what happens when you don't. I get it, some administrative rules can be annoying, but I think they're often there for a reason. If you can't solve your issue within the confine of the rules, then question them. We shouldn't not question them, that's after all, how innovation occurs.</p> <p>Chronic rule breakers, though, are in a different category in my mind. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/rule-follower-breaker-questioner-ignorer#post-2771108 Fri, 01 Sep 2017 07:57:03 +0000 DesertDreams88 2771108@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@808love: welcome! haha based on the poll results you are a rarity here at HB but that makes things more interesting, I was hoping for some more diversity!</p> <p>@Meowkers: I would interpret that as rule ignorer. </p> <p>@looch: of course everyone lives within the confines of *some* rules.... but this is more about the amount of rules you follow/care about, and if you make your own. And I know HB tends to attract "rule followers" just by the nature of the website. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/rule-follower-breaker-questioner-ignorer#post-2771090 Fri, 01 Sep 2017 06:10:56 +0000 looch 2771090@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think we all live within the confines of rules, honestly, if you didn't at least observe some rules, you wouldn't be able to function in a society. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/rule-follower-breaker-questioner-ignorer#post-2771088 Fri, 01 Sep 2017 05:42:31 +0000 Adira 2771088@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@JerricaBenton: This is me too! It gives me so much anxiety when people don't follow the rules!! Especially if it's my friends or family!</p> <p>Speeding is my only exception. :P </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/rule-follower-breaker-questioner-ignorer#post-2771077 Thu, 31 Aug 2017 23:55:22 +0000 youboots 2771077@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>All of the above depending on the situation. I march to my own tiny drum. </p>